Nothing overly complicated here, just a nice and simple zombie RTD.
1 - You failed horribly and probably blew yourself up with rubber ball.
2 - You failed to do whatever you tried to do.
3 - You succeeded...BUT AT WHAT COST?
4 - You succeeded. No more, no less.
5 - You succeeded in style! You did whatever you meant to do awesomely.
6 - You succeeded so well that it overflows into failure. What.
You have no clue that zombies exist in real life yet. Ain't that wacky?
You and the other players are at <insert player name here>'s house, watching the multi-million dollar sellout movie, 'Lawn of the Dead'. Yep. That's about it.
Name:
Gender:
Appearance:
Skill:
Disability: Don't try to get cute and get a skill that cancels your disability.
Karate CHOP!: +1 to rolls involving hand-to-hand combat.
Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms. Without this, you need to spend time learning how to use a gun before you can actually use it.
I'm too YOUNG to die: +1 to all dodging rolls. Helps to avoid getting eaten horribly.
What a nerd!: +1 to rolls involving technology like computers, phones, etc.
An original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Wilderness Survival Guy: +1 to rolls involving foraging.
Trashdigger: +1 to rolls involving scavenging. I.E. from stores, homes, etc.
The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
A keen eye: +1 to rolls involving examining, such as finding structural weakness in a building, or learning how something works.
A team player: +1 to rolls involving helping allies.
I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Drunken Brawler: +1 to EVERYTHING while drunk. Yes. Everything. Serious.
Bad Hand-Eye Coordination: -1 to all hand-to-hand/melee combat rolls.
Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Possibly Amish: -1 to all rolls involving stupid technological objects like 'computers' and 'phones'. Who needs THOSE?
Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Never went outside: -1 to all rolls involving foraging.
Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Oh and I just now remembered.
All players start at 100% Hunger. It goes down by 1% per turn and may also go down further depending on your actions! At 40% Hunger you have -1 to all rolls, at 20% it's -2, and at 0% you die in 3 turns unless you get some nutrition.
Frelock: Name: Frederick
Gender: Male
Appearance: Heavy, hulking, and huge. This guy is bigger then your standard weightlifter, and that muscle isn't just for show.
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Bdthemag: Name: Brian
Gender: Male
Appearance: A tall young man with glasses, he his wearing a suit with a red tie.
Skill: The Negotiator
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing
Wolfchild: Name: Aaron
Gender: Male
Appearance: Nondescript in every way
Skill: An Origional McGuiver
Disability: Lone Wolf
HighEndNoob: Name:Bob Anderson
Gender: Male
Appearance: Standerd Police Officer
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?
Ze Spy: Name: Counter Terrorist
Gender: Male
Appearance: This
Skill: I went to Military School
Disability: Did I say something wrong?
Ahra: Name:Aaron
Gender: Male
Appearance: An everyday guy.
Skill: Karate CHOP!: +1 to rolls involving hand-to-hand combat.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
WAITING LIST
Name: John Carmack
Gender: Male
Appearance: Tall. Blonde. Awesome.
Skill: An original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
They're horribly misunderstood.
Cigars - +1 to all rolls if you have 'I'm Duke Nukem.' Otherwise, they just make you look cool. Last 5 turns.
Unbalanced Hatchet - -1 to all attacking rolls. Wow, what a useless weapon.
Warhammer of Zombie Slaying +1 - You sure look pimp sporting this incredibly heavy hammer. Perfect for caving in zombie skulls.
Minigun - It's time to kick ass.
A wooden, barricaded vehicle that apparently runs on hopes and dreams, I guess?
You have no rations of food. You gon go hungreh.
The group of friends, watching the new hit classic Lawn of the Dead in Aaron's basement, are halfway through the movie. You're all relaxing on a comfortable couch watching the movie on the big screen. It's about an old man, his shotgun, and many zombies. You can predict what the movie is like.
While the heroic old man blows apart yet another zed, you all hear the incredibly loud sound of glass breaking upstairs, followed by a scream. Then, silence.
Status
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 100%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Name: Brian
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 100%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 100%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: 1 Cigar (in use, will last 5 turns)
Hunger: 100%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 100%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Find some nearby sunflower plants for defense!
[4] You find a potted plant containing a sunflower plant off in a corner. You pick it up with both hands to defend yourself! (Obtained Potted Plant)
Grab the Hatchet we keep in the basement
[6] You find your trusty hatchet hanging off of the wall. It's alot bigger than you remember it being...way bigger. As you pick it up, you almost drop it due to the sheer weight. (Obtained Unbalanced Hatchet)
Grab some melee weapon, then go upstairs.
[6] Searching for the nearest weapon you can find, you find a MASSIVE warhammer sitting under the couch. As you take it out and pick it up though, the steel head of the hammer falls off. Whoops. (Obtained Warhammer Shaft, Warhammer Head)
Grab Soem Grenades
[4] There wouldn't be any grenades in a basement, silly! (Or would there?) Instead, however, you find two frag grenades in the pockets of your pants. Huh. (Obtained 2 Frag Grenades)
Find a random object that looks like a D'Eagle.
[4+1] Taking a drag on your cigar, you grab a Desert Eagle out of apparently nowhere. It's made of stainless steel and has the initials 'D.N.' on the side. Checking the ammo, you notice all the bullets have a label on them. "Hail to the King". I wonder what it does...(Obtained Duke's Desert Eagle)
Walking upstairs, you spot 2 green men performing cannibalism on a corpse in the living room. Oh my!
Status
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Warhammer Shaft, Warhammer Head
Hunger: 99%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Name: Brian
Inventory: Potted Plant
Hunger: 99%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attacking rolls)
Hunger: 99%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: 1 Cigar (in use, will last 4 turns), Duke's Desert Eagle (9 'Hail to the King' DE rounds)
Hunger: 99%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: Frag Grenade x2
Hunger: 99%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Place down the sunflower and watch the magic happen.
[2] You put your sunflower plant on the ground. Apparently, nothing happens. Zombies are still eating that corpse.
Swap my hammer for wolf's hatchet, then attack the zombies.
You swap your hammer pieces for the hatchet, and try to attack one of the zombies! [1+1-1=1]You somehow completely miss a stationary zombie and lodge the hatchet into the floor. It's going to take a turn to remove it.
Pull out the Deagle, than Shoot one zombie, and kick the other in the chest
[2+1=3] Pulling out your Desert Eagle, you shoot one zombie in the leg, which apparently does nothing. You tell the other zombie to 'blow it out his ass' and then kick him in the chest. He falls down to the ground.
Swap my hatchet for the pieces of frelock's hammer, then reassemble the hammer
[4+1] While your friends are busy engaging deadly zombies, you're off in the corner trying to put together the hammer. Luckily for you, you turned it not into just any ordinary hammer, but the Warhammer of Zombie Slaying +1. However, you feel slightly hungry afterwards. Huh.
Grenade spam outside the window
[3] Opening up the nearest window, you spot various corpses littering the streets, and quite a few zombies. You pull the pins on both your grenades and toss them out, but you only catch a few zombies in the blast radius.
Zombie 1 - [6] Lurching towards fresh meat, it latches onto Ze Spy's neck while he's tossing grenades. OH GOD OH GOD GET IT OFF HIM.
Zombie 2 - [2] Unlike his proactive comrade, this zombie, kicked to the ground, is taking his sweet time getting up.
Status
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attacking rolls, stuck in the ground)
Hunger: 98%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Name: Brian
Inventory: Potted Plant
Hunger: 98%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Warhammer of Zombie Slaying +1 (+1 to attacking rolls vs zombies!)
Hunger: 94%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: 1 Cigar (in use, will last 3 turns), Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds)
Hunger: 98%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 98%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Smash the zombie on the ground, than spin-kick the other zombie.
[5+1] Cracking your knuckles, you raise ye olde boot and CURBSTOMP the zombie trying to get up, right in the face. Predictably, it's brains get all over your shoes. You also broke your ankle, making you unable to get to the other zombie. Good job!
swap weapons again, then find some building materiels
Tossing the Warhammer of +1 Zombie Slaying back to Fredrick and getting the hatchet back, you begin looking for anything that could possibly be used to build. [5] Off in a closet off the main room, you find plywood boards, a toolbox containing various tools, and some metal sheets. Nice!
Grab warhammer, then smash zombie eating Counter-Terrorist
[5+1+1]Grabbing the Warhammer with both hands, you raise it high above your head and jump through the roof into the airspace over the house. What.
You begin descending faster than humanly possible, breaking the sound barrier on your own. With a mighty shout, you smash the Warhammer into the zombie's skull, causing him to explode. Yes, he exploded.
Sadly, not only did this feat of superhuman strength make you hungry and tired, but the head of your warhammer fell off.
Again.
Jump-kick the zombie
Punch this Fucking thing to death
With the zombie dead via hammer explosion, you just kinda sit there with your mouths open.
WOAH HOLY SHIT
A loud crashing sound is heard on the other side of the house, followed by stomping that makes you feel like there's an earthquake going on...
Status
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Wahammer Shaft, Warhammer Head
Hunger: 74%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Name: Brian
Inventory: Potted Plant
Hunger: 97%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls), Toolbox w/ tools, 5x metal sheets, 10x plywood boards.
Hunger: 91%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: 1 Cigar (in use, will last 2 turns), Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds)
Hunger: 97%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 97%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Find a bladed weapon of some kind.
[6] Looking around frantically, you spot a katana sitting on a mantle above a fireplace! Aha! Clearly this is perfect in every way and nothing at all is wrong with it. No sir.
Find a Minigun or something from Hammer-space
[4+1] You literally pull a Minigun from out of nowhere. You spin the barrel and take another drag of your cigar. It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And you never had any gum.
Give warhammer to wolf again and find a good club.
[6] Searching for a good club, you spot a perfect piece of wood standing straight up! You grab it and rip it away easily...revealing it was in fact one of the wooden pillars holding up the house. Uh oh. THE HOUSE IS GOING TO COLLAPSE NEXT TURN OH GOD.
Repair the hammer again, nailgun the head into the shaft
[2+1] You stick the head of the hammer back onto the shaft, but can't find anything to make it stay there. Hrmm...
Pull out a M4A1 out of goddamn space
[1] Seeing your friend pull a minigun out of literally nowhere, you attempt to do the same. Reaching your hand into god knows where, you cry out in pain as you feel immense pain on your forearm. Pulling your arm back from the 80th dimension, your right forearm is gone! Well...At least it's not bleeding.
WHAT THE FUCK?
Suddenly, a zombie on fucking steroids, with his head reaching up to the ceiling and muscles wider than your body, comes bashing through a nearby wall. This could possibly be bad. Let's not forget the house is crumbling next turn thanks to Fredrick.
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Gigantic Wooden Pillar
Hunger: 73%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Name: Brian
Inventory: Flawless Katana
Hunger: 96%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls), Toolbox w/ tools, 5x metal sheets, 10x plywood boards, Loose Warhammer
Hunger: 90%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: 1 Cigar (in use, will last 1 turns), Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds), Minigun (100 bullets)
Hunger: 96%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 95%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Status: MISSING HIS RIGHT LOWER ARM
Run out of the house, spinning the Mini-gun as I go.
[1+1]You attempt to frantically look around for an exit out of the house, but you can't seem to find anywhere! Most of them are being blocked off by the huge Tank steroid zombie.
And your cigar goes out.
Jump out of the house, preferably through the window.
[5] Unlike our Duke Nukem-inspired friend, you break out into a run towards the nearest window. In slow motion, you dive through the window, roll out onto the pavement, as you put on sunglasses that came out of nowhere. Huh.
REGAIN MY FUCKING RIGHT LOWER ARM
[6] Straining hard, your veins in your forehead are prominent as you try to regrow your missing limb with sheer willpower. By some divine act, you sprout a new forearm. The problem is...you can't feel it or move it. So it's effectively useless.
apply contact glue to the hammer, Hide behind frelock/get the F out
[autofail] You don't have any glue, silly! [6] You pull an empty glue bottle out of Hammerspace though. [2] You also find your exit blocked off by the massive zombie. Hrm...
Go outside by bursting through the wall like the cool-aid man. Proceed to smack zombie with pillar.
[5+1] Breaking straight through a solid wall, you emerge outside with Brian. Finding the nearest zombie, you pull back your pillar like a baseball bat and smack the zombie clear into the sky!
Somewhere on a farm in Iowa
A zombie lands on a farmer's roof. The outbreak in Iowa spreads from there.
Back to the Present
HUGE ASS TANK ZOMBIE THING - [5] Unaware the house is about to fall on top of it, it grabs Bob Anderson with one hand. It then draws back it's other hand, PUNCHING HIS PANSY ASS.
Bob thinks most of his everything is broken.
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire CRASHING DOWN
HOLEE SHITE, the roof just caved in!
[1] Bob Anderson, released from the grip of the zombie yet with many broken bones, he's buried alive under a pile of rubble, breaking the rest of his bones. Ouch.
[6] Counter Terrorist pulls a smoke grenade out of nowhere, smacks it onto the ground, and re-appears outside. Huh. Where did that come from anyway?
[4] Aaron manages to find a way to get outside before he gets crushed alive.
[2] The huge ass zombie gets buried under some rubble as well, stopping him...For now.
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Gigantic Wooden Pillar
Hunger: 72%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Name: Brian
Inventory: Flawless Katana, sunglasses
Hunger: 95%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls), Toolbox w/ tools, 5x metal sheets, 10x plywood boards, Loose Warhammer, empty glue bottle
Hunger: 89%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds), Minigun (100 bullets)
Hunger: 95%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Status: Every single bone in his body is broken. (-3 to all rolls)
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 94%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Status: Has a useless right forearm
Repair all of Bob's bones, WITH MY MIND.
[1] You attempt to heal your comrade's broken body, but your mental assistance not only doesn't heal his shattered skeleton, but grinds all his bones to dust, rendering them useless! It also seems to have left you physically and mentally exhausted.
M4A1 out of goddamn space
DO IT
[6] Using your remaining good arm, you put your hand into the 81st Dimension, pulling an M4A1 out of hammerspace! You fistpump with your good hand. However, checking the magazine, you find it has no ammo. Welp.
Dig the others out of the rubble. If I come across that tank, smash it.
Searching through the rubble, you find Bob, shattered and broken but still alive. You hoist him over his shoulder and bring him back near your comrades...When that fucking tank appears!
[4] It pulls a piece of rubble out of the massive pile and flings it towards Fredrick, knocking the wind out of him and pinning him to the ground!
Nail together some barricades and put wheels on them
[5+1] With your incredible engineering skills, you manage to whip up a quick getaway vehicle while your partners are getting mauled by a giant zombie! Wow.
The only problem is it's not as barricaded as you would have liked, it used up most of your materials, and it only has 3 wheels...NO MATTER! SALLY FORTH!
Shoot the mini-gun to get out of the wreakage
"SOMEONE GET ME A CIGAR!"
[5-3]You attempt to feebly lift your minigun to help fight the tank, but with every bone in your body ground down to dust you can't muster the strength to do it!
Who the fuck is this guy?
Some douche, who looks like an everyday guy (aka Ahra) appears out of nowhere, looking lost. He's just kind of standing there. It's creepy.
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Gigantic Wooden Pillar
Hunger: 71%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Status: Pinned under a piece of rubble!
Name: Brian
Inventory: Flawless Katana, sunglasses
Hunger: 90%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls), Toolbox w/ tools, 1x metal sheet, 3x plywood boards, Loose Warhammer, empty glue bottle
Vehicle: 3-wheeled wooden car that runs on hopes and dreams
Hunger: 80%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds), Minigun (100 bullets)
Hunger: 94%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Status: Every single bone in his body is ground to dust. (-5 to all rolls)
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: M4A1 (0 Bullets)
Hunger: 93%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Status: Has a useless right forearm
Name:Aaron
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 100%
Skill: Karate CHOP!: +1 to rolls involving hand-to-hand combat.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Use my massive strength to lift off the rubble and use it as an impromptu club to smash the tank!
[5+1] Lifting the piece of rubble with ONE HAND (wtf?), you draw it overhead and smash the tank in his head, pummeling him back down into the rubble! Oh that looks like it hurt. The Tank is actually starting to look like he's getting hurt now. You think you pulled something in your right arm though after all this heavy lifting...
Use katana to slice off the head of the tank, if that works then say something witty.
[1] Jumping into the air, you slice the katana at the Tank's head, getting a perfect shot on the neck. When you land behind the tank and turn around to see it die, you spot it's flesh regrowing! All the bruises it obtained fade away and it seems to be back at FULL POWER. Well, at least now you know this katana is meant for healing...
After your double 1's you wonder if you're actually a double agent for the zombies.
Search for Some electrical compoinents, stary near frelock and keep the car with me
[2+1] Looking in the corner of the drivers seat of your improptu vehicle/safehouse/mobile barricade, you find some slightly chewed electrical wire. You drive the car over near Frelock in case you need a quick getaway.
Oh shoot.
Do something.
[5-5]You can't do anything without causing yourself unbearable pain. You try to do so anyway. You fall unconscious.
Grab some Ammo
[4] Looking around you for some ammo, you find a fresh clip on the half-eaten body of a military soldier! Fresh for 30 shots!
find some kickass spiked gloves.
[2] You fail to find any kickass spiked gloves. If your hands had eyes, they would be crying.
THE TANK - Giving an angry look to Fredrick and back at full power, it bumrushes him! [2] It flies right by Fredrick as he steps out of the way, and crashes into another house.
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Gigantic Wooden Pillar
Hunger: 67%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Status: Tired Arm (-1 to rolls using your right arm, lasts 3 turns)
Name: Brian
Inventory: Katana of Healing, sunglasses
Hunger: 88%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls), Toolbox w/ tools, 1x metal sheet, 3x plywood boards, Loose Warhammer, empty glue bottle, electrical wire
Vehicle: 3-wheeled wooden car that runs on hopes and dreams
Hunger: 79%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds), Minigun (100 bullets)
Hunger: 93%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Status: Every single bone in his body is ground to dust. (-5 to all rolls)
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: M4A1 (30 Bullets)
Hunger: 92%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Status: Has a useless right forearm
Name:Aaron
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 99%
Skill: Karate CHOP!: +1 to rolls involving hand-to-hand combat.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Use my katana of healing on HighEndNoob
[6] Raising your katana high above your head in an ominous fashion, you smash it down onto Bob's chest! A flash of light illuminates the area as a 'schlick' sound is heard, and his body is back at 100% capacity. Good for you!
DO nothing
You still feel kinda numb. Walk it off, you big sissy.
i.....will.....have my kickass spiked gloves
[2] As much as you want those spiked gloves, they're not here. GET OVER IT!
Switch pillar to left hand and swing at tank again.
[2+1] Switching the pillar over to your other hand, you can't seem to find out which building the tank smashed in to. Is it that one with the big hole in the side? Naaaaah, can't be. You make up for it by smacking one of the nearest zombies in the horde that has been shambling towards you this whole time.
McGuver up a Gauss cannon, that can launch any ferrous items we load into it, mount it on the car
[3+1] Grabbing your remaining materials, you fashion up a Gauss Cannon from some wire, an empty glue bottle, some wooden boards, and a metal sheet. McGyver would be proud.
Regain control of my Right forearm
[5] You attempt to will your forearm back into use. You tell it off, and it finally agrees to obey you. It seems that this new forearm is at least slightly sturdier than the old one, resulting in it being quite resilient to damage.
THE TANK - Drawing itself out of the house, it decides to attack the largest thing it can find: Aarons makeshift vehicle. [1] It decides to bumrush the vehicle like an idiot, resulting in Aaron grabbing a rock off of the ground, loading it into the gauss cannon, and pumping it into it's skull, killing it instantly.
What a dumb beast!
Uh, hey guys...
The zombie hoard populating the suburbs you're in is getting kinda close. Might wanna make some breathing room or run away or...something.
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Gigantic Wooden Pillar
Hunger: 65%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Status: Tired Arm (-1 to rolls using your right arm, lasts 2 turns)
Name: Brian
Inventory: Katana of Healing, sunglasses
Hunger: 87%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls), Toolbox w/ tools, Loose Warhammer
Vehicle: 3-wheeled wooden car that runs on hopes and dreams (Mounted Gauss Cannon)
Hunger: 75%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds), Minigun (100 bullets)
Hunger: 92%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: M4A1 (30 Bullets)
Hunger: 90%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Name:Aaron
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 98%
Skill: Karate CHOP!: +1 to rolls involving hand-to-hand combat.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Grab some random things to use as ammo, including a bunch of smaller things to use as a grapeshot, then get everyone into the vehicle and drive off
[1] You can't find any ammo at all to load into the Gauss Cannon. Sucks man.
[3] You hop into the driver's seat. The leather is stiff and uncomfortable, but you can drive fine.
get to the choppa car
[4] You hop into the open-topped and barricaded back of the truck/barricade/whatever it is, a perfect position to sit back and relax while your partners kill zombies.
Get into the car, and prepare to repel boarders!
[5] You hop into the back of the vehicle, grab your pillar, and hold it out to one side. When the car starts moving, you'll literally be smacking zeds out of the way.
Get into the car and raise my teams spirit with a speech.
[2+1] You attempt to raise your team's fighting spirit with an inspirational monologue. They're kind of too busy trying to hop into the car and escape zombies to listen. You feel motivated though! +1 to your next roll.
Get to the car, and man the turret.
"Someone get stuff near me, and get me more cigars!"
[5] You jump into the back using one hand, and hop on the turret. Another cigar magically appears in your mouth. You fire off a witty one liner as you load your Minigun's ammo into the Gauss Cannon.
BOOOOORN TO BE WIIIIIILD
Get onto the car and shoot my M4A1 at the zombie goasts
[2+1] You hop into the passenger seat and try to shoot zombie ghosts. There don't seem to be any zombie ghosts around, so you settle for shooting a few nearby zombies instead.
The Zombie Hoard - A few of them shamble up to the sides of the mobile barricade, [5] trying to hop on. While most get swatted away by the heroes, three of them make it on board! Better do something about that.
Zombie 1 - [1] Trying to bite Bob, who is currently manning the mounted Gauss, instead gets a metal bash to the face and falls off the vehicle, as Bob Anderson swivels the cannon to smack it straight in the head.
Zombie 2 - [3] While Aaron #1 is making a rousing speech, it mumbles something about "Brainsssss" and grapples with him for a while. (Is now grappling Aaron #1)
Zombie 3 - [1] Trying to tackle down Aaron #2, it instead gets a swift combo to the chest, followed by an uppercut that knocks it down to the ground. 5 hit combo!
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Gigantic Wooden Pillar
Hunger: 64%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Status: Tired Arm (-1 to rolls using your right arm, lasts 1 turn)
Name: Brian
Inventory: Katana of Healing, sunglasses
Hunger: 85%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Status: Grappling with Zombie 2, +1 to next roll (Motivated)
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls), Toolbox w/ tools, Loose Warhammer
Vehicle: 3-wheeled wooden car that runs on hopes and dreams (Driver, has Mounted Gauss Cannon)
Hunger: 74%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: Cigar (5 turns) Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds), Minigun (0 bullets)
Hunger: 91%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Status: On the Gauss Cannon (100 Minigun bullets)
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: M4A1 (24 Bullets)
Hunger: 88%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Name:Aaron
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 96%
Skill: Karate CHOP!: +1 to rolls involving hand-to-hand combat.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
hadouken zombie no2
[1+1] Cupping your hands to your side, you shout "HADOUKEN!" and thrust them forward. Nothing happens. You look like an idiot.
Drive my creation while kicking the zombie off, after picking up speed go straight through the zombie horde
No zombies are near you, silly! They're all in the back. [2] You try to floor the gas pedal, but you can't seem to be able to budge it! Maybe you need more weight?
Shoot my Wepon at Zawmbie 2
[4+1] Leaning out the passenger seat and aiming your weapon back at the zombies fighting your allies, you fire off a 3 round burst! Zombie #2's head explodes in a shower of blood, his limp body falls off the truck and explodes, taking out 5 other zombies. Wow.
Smack any zombies that get in our way!
[4+1] Lifting your pillar with both hands, you prevent the zombie horde from getting any closer to the car. You smack zombies left and right like some...pillar-wielding god of war. Zombie limbs and heads and bodies fly into the sky, into nearby buildings, into the pavement, and into lampposts. You let out a victory howl.
Politely ask the zombies to go away.
[5+1+1] Conversing with Zombie #3, you find that he has an incredibly interesting life story, a troubled childhood, and a chronic alcohol addiction which led to rejection by his fellow zombies. Your heart goes out to him. You hug each other and he begins sobbing into your shoulder. You begin understanding the zombie's plight. (+1 to negotiations with zombies)
Fire a Gauss round at Zombie 3
[5+1] Promptly after that, Zombie #3's sobbing head explodes as minigun rounds pummel into his body, removing limbs and sinew. Zombie #3 falls off the vehicle in a hail of bullets and moves no more.
You sick bastard.
At the very least, you guys have earned a breather for the next turn due to Frelock keeping the zombie horde away.
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Gigantic Wooden Pillar
Hunger: 62%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Status:
Name: Brian
Inventory: Katana of Healing, sunglasses
Hunger: 85%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Status: Zombie Whisperer (+1 to negotiations with zombies)
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls), Toolbox w/ tools, Loose Warhammer
Vehicle: 3-wheeled wooden car that runs on hopes and dreams (Driver, has Mounted Gauss Cannon)
Hunger: 73%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: Cigar (4 turns) Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds), Minigun (0 bullets)
Hunger: 89%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Status: On the Gauss Cannon (95 Minigun bullets)
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: M4A1 (21 Bullets)
Hunger: 86%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Name:Aaron
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 95%
Skill: Karate CHOP!: +1 to rolls involving hand-to-hand combat.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Look for food on the roof of the car
[3+1] Looking around the car, you find an unopened bag of potato chips. Cool.
Ask the Zombies to leave us alone.
[1+1+1] You attempt to tell the zombies around the car to leave you alone. A few of them shrug their shoulders but you don't think they understood you.
Lubricate the peddle with whatever is on hand then FLOOR IT
[6] You grab a can of oil out of nowhere, pour the entire bottle on the pedal, and slam down with the force of a god.
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUCK
The car zooms through the zombies directly ahead of the car, causing gore to splatter the hood while you move at high speeds. Well, that worked nicely. You're now on an intersection.
Which has more zombies than before.
keep the zombies of the car.
[6] Noticing the new zombie horde surrounding the car, you prepare to repel boarders. While they shamble incredibly slowly to the car, you begin punching the air in anticipation. Whoops, your hand hit the side of the truck! THE PAIN (-1 to combat rolls for the next 3 turns)
Continue my mad rage against the horde. FOR THE ALLIANCE!
[3+1] Using your mighty pillar, you continue to keep the zombie horde away from your vehicle. But how long can you keep it up!? Hunger is going to get the better of you soon, and all these tiring activities are not helping.
Grab some moar grenades
[3] You put your hand under your seat and fish around. You draw a single unmarked red grenade out from under it. What the FUCK could it do?
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Gigantic Wooden Pillar
Hunger: 60%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Status:
Name: Brian
Inventory: Katana of Healing, sunglasses
Hunger: 84%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Status: Zombie Whisperer (+1 to negotiations with zombies)
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls), Toolbox w/ tools, Loose Warhammer
Vehicle: 3-wheeled wooden car that runs on hopes and dreams (Driver, has Mounted Gauss Cannon)
Hunger: 72%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: Cigar (3 turns) Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds), Minigun (0 bullets), Bag o' Potato Chips (Restores 10% Hunger)
Hunger: 88%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Status: On the Gauss Cannon (95 Minigun bullets)
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: M4A1 (21 Bullets), unmarked Grenade.
Hunger: 85%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Name:Aaron
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 93%
Skill: Karate CHOP!: +1 to rolls involving hand-to-hand combat.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Status: Sprained hands (-1 to combat rolls, 3 turns remaining)
Keep driving, find somewhere with few zombies and then search for food
[4] Continuing your drive along the road, you eventually park at a spot right on the edge of town. There's no zombies you can see here, but also not many buildings.
[3] Hopping out of the car, you begin hunting for food. You spot a vending machine near a gas station and press a button. Nothing happens. A mechanical voice tells you "PLEASE INSERT ONE DOLLAR."
Grab more grenades
[1] You attempt to find some more grenades here on the outskirts. While looking under a blue sedan, your unmarked grenade rolls under it, JUST out of reach.
kick,punch,headbutt anything that get to the car
[3-1] You threaten the zombies by punching the air some more, while the other Aaron drives off to the outskirts of town. You don't think the zombies were intimidated by you.
Keep a sharp eye out for places likely to have lots of non-perishable food with few zombies around.
[3] Hopping out of the car with everyone else, you begin examining the few buildings here. You come across a shack with a light on inside. Peeking inside, through a window you spot a figure in a rocking chair going back and forth in front of the fireplace, but also a fridge and cabinet over in a kitchen. When you try the door to the house, it's locked.
Eat chips, than fire at 3 closest zombies.
You rip open the bag of potato chips and down the entire bag. [4+1] While the car drives away, you fire off the Gauss Cannon in bursts of 3, taking zombies down as you go. You feel like a badass.
Throw insults at the zombies.
[6] You spit a bunch of accusations at the zombies, mainly involving their mother and some seedy men. They don't take kindly to this. While Aaron drives away, you can see the zombies doing the best run they can manage to try and catch up. They're too dumb to actually follow you to the edge of town...right?
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Gigantic Wooden Pillar
Hunger: 59%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Status:
Name: Brian
Inventory: Katana of Healing, sunglasses
Hunger: 83%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Status: Zombie Whisperer (+1 to negotiations with zombies)
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls), Toolbox w/ tools, Loose Warhammer
Vehicle: 3-wheeled wooden car that runs on hopes and dreams (Driver, has Mounted Gauss Cannon)
Hunger: 71%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: Cigar (2 turns) Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds), Minigun (0 bullets)
Hunger: 97%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Status: On the Gauss Cannon (80 Minigun bullets)
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: M4A1 (21 Bullets)
Hunger: 84%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Name:Aaron
Inventory: Nothing
Hunger: 91%
Skill: Karate CHOP!: +1 to rolls involving hand-to-hand combat.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Status: Sprained hands (-1 to combat rolls, 2 turns remaining)
search for food.
[6]You hop out the car and begin ruffling through some abandoned houses. All you can find is some spoiled rotten food. D'oh!
Knock. If no-one answers, then bash the door down and be ready for trouble.
[6]You knock loudly on the door. There's a moment of silence, then you hear footsteps on the other side of the door. When it opens up, you see a crotchety old man in a straw hat looking at you. "Crazy young'un's always bothering me these days...What do YOU want, hm?" He looks kinda unreasonable. In fact, he doesn't even look like he realizes that zombies exist since none appear to be in this area.
Inspire the troops (Aka party members.)
[1+1] You release a rousing speech to the allies closest to you. Sadly, nobody hears you since they're off doing their own thing. You can't even remember what you said.
Burst at Vending machine, Burst at Car, Burst at door.
[6+1] You release a 3 round burst at the vending machine, knocking out 4 candy bars. You then release another burst at the car, knocking it onto it's side and allowing Counter Terrorist to get his grenade. Noticing the old man, you hold your fire. He doesn't seem to notice you.
Wooooooow.
inform the strong man of the vending machine, then hunt for more food
You walk over to Fredrick and tell him about the vending machine. The old man gives you a dirty look. Walking away, you decide to help hunt for food. [3] Looking through an empty 3-story house, you find a half-eaten sandwich inside someone's fridge.
FIND MORE GRENADES
Grabbing your unmarked grenade, you realize it's not enough...You need MORE! [3] You find what seems to be a frag grenade inside someone's basement. It looks like it's been slightly chewed. I wonder if it still works?
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Gigantic Wooden Pillar
Hunger: 58%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Status:
Name: Brian
Inventory: Katana of Healing, sunglasses
Hunger: 82%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Status: Zombie Whisperer (+1 to negotiations with zombies)
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls), Toolbox w/ tools, Loose Warhammer, Half-Eaten Sandwich (Restores 8% hunger)
Vehicle: 3-wheeled wooden car that runs on hopes and dreams (Driver, has Mounted Gauss Cannon)
Hunger: 68%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: Cigar (1 turn) Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds), Minigun (0 bullets)
Hunger: 95%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Status: On the Gauss Cannon (74 Minigun bullets)
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: M4A1 (21 Bullets), Unmarked Grenade, Slightly chewed Fragmentation Grenade
Hunger: 81%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Name:Aaron
Inventory: Rotten Hamburger (Restores 5% hunger, makes you sick), Rotten Cheese (Restores 5% hunger, makes you sick)
Hunger: 88%
Skill: Karate CHOP!: +1 to rolls involving hand-to-hand combat.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Status: Sprained hands (-1 to combat rolls, 1 turns remaining)
GRENADES! FIND MOAR! MOAR!
[2] Pocketing the chewed grenade, you hunt through the basement some more. However, you can't seem to find any more grenades.
Eat the sandwich, find crafting supplies
[2]You begin looking through the neighborhood for some supplies while eating your sandwich. Like Counter Terrorist however, you can't seem to find what you're looking for.
try and find moar food
[2] (I swear to god this is actually how the rolls are going) You ruffle through the kitchen some more, throwing aside moldy bread, flat soda, and a disgusting looking soup left on the stove. Nothing is edible.
Secure the area
[6+1] The area is more secure than the best military establishment in the US. You grab some boards and put up a fence around your immediate area, which will come in handy later. You also find 2 survivors, a teenage boy and girl, hiding in the second floor of a house.
Inform the old man that I'd like to work for food, if he needs anything done. After receiving instructions (if any) go over to the vending machine and grab those candy bars that fell out.
[4] You ask the old man if he'd be willing to give you a job in return for some food. He rubs his chin for a second and then says "Well, I have this big old tree in the backyard that needs cutting. You look strong, so this shouldn't be a problem for you."
You nod your head and tell him you'll get right on it, then go over to the vending machine and grab all the candy bars.
Talk to the old man, I am the charismatic one of the group after all.
[4+1] After Fredrick leaves, you engage the old man in idle conversation. In your talk, you manage to convince him of the existence of zombies as well as the need to reinforce the house and surrounding area. He sighs and grabs a shotgun off the wall.
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Gigantic Wooden Pillar, Candy Bar x4 (Restores 4% Hunger)
Hunger: 57%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Status:
Name: Brian
Inventory: Katana of Healing, sunglasses
Hunger: 81%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Status: Zombie Whisperer (+1 to negotiations with zombies)
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls), Toolbox w/ tools, Loose Warhammer
Vehicle: 3-wheeled wooden car that runs on hopes and dreams (Driver, has Mounted Gauss Cannon)
Hunger: 75%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds), Minigun (0 bullets)
Hunger: 92%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Status: On the Gauss Cannon (74 Minigun bullets)
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: M4A1 (21 Bullets), Unmarked Grenade, Slightly chewed Fragmentation Grenade
Hunger: 80%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Name:Aaron
Inventory: Rotten Hamburger (Restores 5% hunger, makes you sick), Rotten Cheese (Restores 5% hunger, makes you sick)
Hunger: 86%
Skill: Karate CHOP!: +1 to rolls involving hand-to-hand combat.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Help the old man build defenses.
[2] While the old timer walks off to begin building a barricade, you try to hunt for some building materials. You can't seem to find any loose wood or metal sheets or anything you could use to build a sturdy barricade.
Ask the survivor's for cigars, than pull 2 Mini-Uzi's out of Hammer space and give them to the people.
[1] You ask the survivors for cigars. They give you a look that clearly says "Why would WE have cigars?"
[4] You pull out a pair of uzis from apparently nowhere and pass them to the survivors. They walk outside to begin assisting with the barricade.
Eat the candy bars, grab hatchet from wolfchild, then set to work on the tree.
You eat ALL FOUR CANDY BARS. Good thing it's an even number or else your disability would have screwed with you.
[5] You grab the hatchet and go to town on the tree, taking it down in a few swift chops. You yell "TIMBER" as it falls down harmlessly into the yard. You feel like a Canadian.
Search again
[2] Again, you begin sifting through homes, basements, and shacks for building materials for a barricade. You still can't find anything. You start thinking you might have to start dismantling things...
Find some food
[3] Walking down the street, you look inside of a car by pure chance. Hey, look, some McDonalds! You open up the bag to find a some fries. It looks like the person already ate the burger. Asshole.
get depressed for failing in everything and get to the old mans house.
[5] You walk into the old man's house and park yourself on the rocking chair. Staring forlornly into the fire, you become filled with burning passion. You have been very very accident prone, BUT NO MORE! YOU will be the one to end this zombie apocalypse! (+1 to your next 2 rolls)
Build a barricade
[1] The trio of NPC survivors attempt to make a barricade using what materials they have, but their inexperience shows as they instead they just open up a giant hole in the defenses. Oops.
U.S. Miltarry : go go special forces! Kill those zombies!
[2] The US Military is busy in Washington DC playing Poker with the presidential cabinet. Strip Poker. The president is losing.
Hey, what's that?
Through the fog on the horizon, you spot a giant crowd shambling towards you. Huh. This could be bad.
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Gigantic Wooden Pillar, Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls)
Hunger: 70%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Status:
Name: Brian
Inventory: Katana of Healing, sunglasses
Hunger: 79%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Status: Zombie Whisperer (+1 to negotiations with zombies)
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Toolbox w/ tools, Loose Warhammer
Vehicle: 3-wheeled wooden car that runs on hopes and dreams (Driver, has Mounted Gauss Cannon)
Hunger: 74%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds), Minigun (0 bullets)
Hunger: 91%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: M4A1 (21 Bullets), Unmarked Grenade, Slightly chewed Fragmentation Grenade, Fries (Restores 5% Hunger)
Hunger: 79%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Name:Aaron
Inventory: Rotten Hamburger (Restores 5% hunger, makes you sick), Rotten Cheese (Restores 5% hunger, makes you sick)
Hunger: 85%
Skill: Karate CHOP!: +1 to rolls involving hand-to-hand combat.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Status: Filled with burning passion (+1 to all rolls, 2 more turns)
Old Man: 100% Health, 100% Hunger, Inventory: Shotgun (8 shots)
Male Survivor: 100% Health, 100% Hunger, Inventory: Uzi (30 shots)
Female Survivor: 100% Health, 100% Hunger, Inventory: Uzi (30 shots)
I'll add you to the waiting list, ggamer.
build defences
[3+1] Searching around for the nearest materials, you grab some steel bars and girders and pile them up along the street facing the approaching zombie horde. You think you did a good job.
Move the car to where the survivors are and armour plate it with bits and pieces peuple dotn need anymore
[3+1] Moving the car behind where the barricade is being built, you get some spare pieces of wood and some scraps of metal and reinforce the car with it. You did the best you could without any high-end engineering tools, but you think it'll hold.
Help the Old man and survivors build a barricade
[2] You grab a plank of wood and begin searching for a good place to put it. You fail hard. You shrug your shoulders.
Pull out a Spas-12 out of hammer space.
[4] Reaching your hand into the magical hammerspace you seem to get everything from, you pull out a Spas-12 shotgun and cock it. Lock and load, baby.
Pull a sniper rifle out of my pants.
[1] Attempting to emulate Bob, you try to pull a sniper rifle out of your trousers. Instead, your hand draws back of it's own free will and sucker punches you in the gonads. You collapse holding your crotch and crying to yourself while rocking back and forth. Wow. (-2 to your next roll)
Prod Aaron into fixing the warhammer for me, then help with the barricades.
[4+1] Aaron rebuilds the warhammer bigger and badder than before, transforming it back into the Warhammer of +1 Zombie Slaying. Woo!
[5] Using your immense strength, you chop up the tree from the old man's back yard, making several long planks to reinforce the barricade with. Then you get some steel girders from an unfinished building and pile them on as well.
4Chan: Summon and army of teolls and anons to foght the zombies.
US Miltarry: stop playing strip poker and kill some zombies!
[2] 4chan is too busy singing 'FRIDAY, IT'S FRIDAY' to pay attention to the zombies.
[4] The US Military begins gearing up. It took them long enough. The President still doesn't have clothes.
Reinforce the barricade!
[6] The trio of NPC's begin removing the structures of the buildings around them to reinforce the barricade. You question this decision as the houses around you start looking mighty unstable. They DO make good defenses though.
BRAINS
THE HORDE fades into the view. Goddamn, those zombies can run! They throw themselves against your barricade of steel, iron, and wood. All your reinforcing has paid off though. It doesn't look like they have a chance of breaking through...yet.
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Gigantic Wooden Pillar, Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls), Warhammer of +1 Zombie Slaying (+1 to rolls vs zombies)
Hunger: 65%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Status:
Name: Brian
Inventory: Katana of Healing, sunglasses
Hunger: 79%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Status: Zombie Whisperer (+1 to negotiations with zombies)
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Toolbox w/ tools,
Vehicle: 3-wheeled wooden car that runs on hopes and dreams (Driver, has Mounted Gauss Cannon)
Hunger: 69%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: Duke's Desert Eagle (8 'Hail to the King' DE rounds), Minigun (0 bullets), Spas-12 (12 shots)
Hunger: 86%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: M4A1 (21 Bullets), Unmarked Grenade, Slightly chewed Fragmentation Grenade, Fries (Restores 5% Hunger)
Hunger: 77%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Name:Aaron
Inventory: Rotten Hamburger (Restores 5% hunger, makes you sick), Rotten Cheese (Restores 5% hunger, makes you sick)
Hunger: 80%
Skill: Karate CHOP!: +1 to rolls involving hand-to-hand combat.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Status: Filled with burning passion (+1 to all rolls, 2 more turns)
Old Man: 94% Health, 100% Hunger, Inventory: Shotgun (8 shots)
Male Survivor: 100% Health, 94% Hunger, Inventory: Uzi (30 shots)
Female Survivor: 100% Health, 94% Hunger, Inventory: Uzi (30 shots)
What the hell at these rolls.
Just.
What the hell. Random.org is weird like that.
Fire 3 DE rounds into the Horde.
[4] Drawing your trusted Desert Eagle, you pump a few rounds into the horde. The special ammo pierces the zombies heads and lights them on fire, burning them into nothing but ashes. That's 3 zombies less to worry about, and they sure aren't getting back up.
Grab some food from the old man's fridge, then go play wack 'a zombie!
[5] You grab an especially large and delicious looking subway sandwich and stuff it into hammerspace for later. Mmm!
[4+1+1] Grabbing your new toy, you head outside and hop up on the barricade with your allies, smacking zombies left and right. 3 zombies go flying into a nearby building, leaving a large hole in the wall. 2 others get smacked back down the street where they came from, and don't get back up. You pray that the warhammer head doesn't fall off again. Which it probably will.
Load Pebbles etc. into the cannon and unload on the horde
[5] You pull a tube out of nowhere, attaching one end to the gauss cannon and the other you set on the ground. You flick a switch, causing the end on the ground to suction up a bunch of pebbles, then you open fire. The hail of stones pierces multiple zombie brains and bodies, forcing some zombies to the ground under the barrage of fire.
SHOOT THEM ZAWMBIES
[5] You unsling your trusty rifle and fire 3 round bursts into the horde, dropping 4 more zombies. One crawls up on the barricade, so you smack it with the butt of your gun then drill another burst into it's skull while its on the ground.
spiked gloves, hammerspace.
[2+1] While all your allies roll 5's, you attempt to get your gloves at last. Thanks to your +1, you don't fail completely. You get some brass knuckles instead!
Do nothing.
You lean against a wall cleaning your sniper rifle. Derp herp derp.
US Army: go '"help" in the battle.
Mother Nature: throe every imangible naturale disaster at the battlefield.
[2] The U.S. Army is still too busy putting their clothes on.
[1] Instead, Mother Nature accidentally causes a huge hurricane which rends into the eastern Australia coastline. Oops.
KILL ZOMBIES
[1] The NPC's try to assist the battle against the zombies. However, it seems the old man forgot to load his shotgun, the female survivor forgot to turn the safety off on her SMG, and the male survivor got pulled down off the barricades and eaten. That's life for you.
[2] The horde is still too busy tearing down the barricade to attack anyone yet. Somehow, our team of heroes has held them off.
Name: Fredrick
Inventory: Gigantic Wooden Pillar, Unbalanced Hatchet (-1 to attack rolls), Warhammer of +1 Zombie Slaying (+1 to rolls vs zombies), Big Subway Sandwich (Restores 25% Hunger)
Hunger: 63%
Skill: Strongman: +1 to rolls involving melee weapons.
Disability: Om Nom Nom: You require and consume 1 extra ration of food whenever you eat. Fatty.
Status:
Name: Brian
Inventory: Katana of Healing, sunglasses, Sniper Rifle (10 shots)
Hunger: 78%
Skill: The Negotiator: +1 to all rolls involving diplomacy with the bandit hordes fighting for survival.
Disability: Oh god how do I fire this thing: -1 to all rolls involving firearms.
Status: Zombie Whisperer (+1 to negotiations with zombies)
Name: Aaron
Inventory: Toolbox w/ tools, Gauss Cannon loaded w/ Pebbles (∞ ammo)
Vehicle: 3-wheeled wooden car that runs on hopes and dreams (On gun)
Hunger: 67%
Skill: An Original McGuyver: +1 to rolls involving engineering, like setting up barricades.
Disability: Lone Wolf: -1 to all rolls involving helping allies.
Name:Bob Anderson
Inventory: Duke's Desert Eagle (5 'Hail to the King' DE rounds), Minigun (0 bullets), Spas-12 (12 shots)
Hunger: 85%
Skill: I'm Duke Nukem: +1 to all rolls while smoking a cigar. Start with 1 cigar.
Disability:Attention Span? What's that?: -1 to all rolls involving insight and examination.
Name: Counter Terrorist
Inventory: M4A1 (6 Bullets), Unmarked Grenade, Slightly chewed Fragmentation Grenade, Fries (Restores 5% Hunger)
Hunger: 76%
Skill: I went to Military School: +1 to rolls involving firearms.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Name:Aaron
Inventory: Brass Knuckles (+1 to hand-to-hand combat) Rotten Hamburger (Restores 5% hunger, makes you sick), Rotten Cheese (Restores 5% hunger, makes you sick)
Hunger: 78%
Skill: Karate CHOP!: +1 to rolls involving hand-to-hand combat.
Disability: Did I say something wrong?: -1 to all rolls involving diplomacy and negotiation.
Status: Filled with burning passion (+1 to all rolls, 2 more turns)
Old Man: 100% Health, 92% Hunger, Inventory: Shotgun (8 shots)
Female Survivor: 100% Health, 92% Hunger, Inventory: Uzi (30 shots)