Bay 12 Games Forum

"Sound the alarm! Goblins!"

"What?! I thought the goblins came last season!"

"Look, Valter, I know you're new here, but you gotta learn something. Round these parts, Every season is goblin season."

Long story short, another 3 dwarves died  . My epic fish cleaner Tosid, who has now found about 40 goblin snatchers, managed to escape an ambush of lashers by breaking the lead goblin's leg and then running as far as he could. Despite his broken arm, he led the lashers on a zany run around the area surrounding Glovebreakfast, while my wrestlers systematically swarmed and broke-to-death every single other goblin in the area (which included a speargoblin squad and two macegoblin squads) before realizing that Tosid needed help and running to aid him. By then, though, the lashers had realized that their plans for Glovebreakfast domination would not be coming to success today, and had already left.

Sorry, no pictures this time. Already happened a while ago, but I figured I should fill you in. We lost a legendary gem setter among others. He won't be missed.

Soon after the last post, about four gabillion immigrants arrived. Probably not that much, but I haven't been keeping track. Anyway, our fortress now has a healthy 102 dwarves in it. Yikes.

Also, our cheese maker has gone fey and claimed a craftsdwarve's workshop! Oh no! What will we do if he doesn't get the materials he requires?! There will be no one left to make cheese for us! Darn.

About a day after the last post:

Mistakes are made.


The image above shows the results of a pikegoblin ambush. four are caught in cages, two are smashed by weapon traps, and one makes it through and kills two dwarves (including a legendary engraver). Shortly after, a goblin master thief makes it halfway across my bridge before being discovered by two dwarves. Another dwarf gets pulverized, but the other knocks the thief unconscious and proceeds to break every single bone in the goblin's body.

About 4 frames later, the other half of the pikegoblin squad shows up to mop up. Since my dwarves are hauling goblin bits that were blown up by the weapon traps, about 90% of my population is currently outside. I finally decide to give the order to haul ass inside.

Two goblins immediately make a break for the weapon traps, and succeed admirably in getting themselves impaled all over them. A woodworker caught outside gets chopped to pieces, but the pikegoblins shortly run away, having sustained sufficient casualties to actually realize that this whole invasion idea wasn't really working so well after all.

My military spends another couple minutes pulverizing a goblin that got behind, and the dwarves get to work hauling chunky goblin chunks to the refuse stockpile. My fisher, I kid you not, discovers about 4 more goblin snatchers throughout the course of these events.

I like to look on the bright side of these kinds of engagements. I mean, we lost 4 or 5 dwarves, but at least there won't be as much lag now!

And besides, there's a massive amount of satisfaction to be gained from thinking about how the elves entered across a pristine bridge across a fearsome moat, and will be exiting through a pool of bloody goblin chunks and vomit.

I forgot how much I liked this game.

Notes of Valter, first day

Why would any fortress need more than five woodworkers? This is insane! We also have about ten smiths, and 4 magma forges. For now, every single extra dwarf (which in this case amounts to about 30!) will be making our front lawn more aesthetically pleasing. I'm really surprised that this fort can still feed itself with half of its population just lying around doing nothing.

And so I take up the mantle!

The mantle of leadership, that is! Now is the time to lead Glovebreakfast into a new age of prosperity!

Um, actually, it's "1337", not "733T". Duh.

Deon, this fortress was not built with sanity in mind. In fact, it seems that some of the overseers were actively seeking to turn this place into an non-Euclidean nightmare straight out of M.C.Escher.