Bay 12 Games Forum

Let's just hope the 'bugs' don't take the form of literal bugs this time.

The giant mosquitoes, ye gads. They barely even did anything, they just loitered.

If I wanted to sprinkle magma on my soldiers to burn their nerves and fat and make them fireproof and painless...

How would I go about that?

Hardly. When was the last time the thing he was killing actually contacted HIM?

For all my bravado, I do usually expend a modicum of effort preventing needless dwarf death. I do sometimes get genuinely sad when one of my more favored dwarves dies.

Unless you are a noble/cheese maker/potash maker/etc. Then, you are a waste of food and water, and your death is in the best interest of everyone. While I will not go out of my way to kill you, I will not waste a single *cave silk sock* to save you if it comes to it.

an unacceptable number of casualties,

See, there's your problem.

Okay, Candy is a science defying substance. It is supposedly either a incredibly heavy material with gravity-hindering capabilities, or a super  material without atoms.

What is known is its incredibly light, completely unbreakable, very hard to break, almost unspeakably sharp, and ridiculously valuable. Supposedly, it's edge is so fine, it is capable of slicing through atoms, and so when you swing its glows due to ionization. Because of its lightness its a terrible blunt weapon, hammers are wiffle bats, but swords are lightsabers.

The method of smelting is difficult, when you mine you have to extract metal strands at a craftshop, then you have to smelt it into wafers. But of course, while you're doing that, dig it out. It is so very valuable. There, as others have mentioned, deadly repercussions to doing so, mostly attracting greedy gobbos. Thats why we don't tell new players, cause they dig it out and get hurt. But, if your capable of handling a siege or two, you're probably going to wipe out the goblins with your awesome weapons. And even if you don't have a big military, just turtle till you have candy clad warriors ready to shred them.

What he said. The important thing to remember is this - get all the candy you can, and start kitting out your guys in it as soon as possible.  You want as much as possible to help make your warriors more powerful.

It's also important to remember the threat from goblins. You may wish to station your military near the surface or even above it while mining candy, to better be able to respond rapidly to goblin sieges drawn by the sudden influx of wealth.

Dear Militia of Passcrafts,

Come ON. It was ONE GOBLIN. One goblin with a SILVER DAGGER. The whole army of the proud dwarven city of Passcrafts just got it's shit wrecked by one sneaking greenskin with a BUTTERKNIFE. You had steel armor and weapons! You outnumbered him ten to one! What happened?
 Thanks to your mess, we lost a good farmer because his badger bite got infected. You know why they couldn't treat it? BECAUSE YOU ASSHOLES were lounging in all the hospital beds, recovering from your beatdown at the hands of a silverware wielding greenskin. Do you know what it was like, going up to his wife and telling her her husband died of an easily treatable wound? Or telling his three year old son that his father is never coming home? I expect better from you. All of you.
And by the way? When the next goblin ambush came around, (most of you weren't there - still lazing about in the hospital) the panda I bought on a whim from the elves killed three of them alone. And they were actual soldiers with weapons, instead of some goblin kid with a knife from his mother's kitchen going off to play war against the dwarves! THE PANDA IS A BETTER SOLDIER THAN YOU.

- The Overseer

Dear Hospital Staff of Passcrafts:
Are you serious? There hasn't been a single medical emergency in the history of the fort. Yet the day the entire militia ends up in the hospital pouring blood all over the nice smoothed floors, you decide to have a party in the dining hall? You think just because I don't pay attention to you, you can get away with not doing your JOB!? What did you say when the messenger told you all that Dwarves were DYING?
"Hold on, Logum's about to do a kegstand!" You sicken me. The dwarves of this fortress trusted you with their LIVES, and you BETRAYED them. Thanks to your shenanigans, one of our Axedwarves is dead, another will never walk again, and because you dragged your feet fixing the incompetent band of dipshits we call the militia, one of our best farmers died of an INFECTION. From a BADGER BITE. These were men with families, and you let them die so that you could go dance and get plastered.
I hope it was a good party, to be worth all this. I hope you had fun.
-The Overseer

All 120 dwarves of my fortress, including my legendary militia of ten, were killed in about two minutes by a giant three-horned quadruped made of sandstone that shot webs. Half of them were killed in the first thirty seconds.