Bay 12 Games Forum

 This is the story of an elf. But not just any run of the mill, pansy, vegan, tree-loving, hippie elf. No, this one elf was very different from the others. From the day of his birth, Thalu always had a profound disgust for nature (especially for trees) and peace, much prefering violence and power to this whimsical nonsense other elves seemed to love so much. After committing several tree-desecrating acts in his village, Thalu was dubbed "The Bane of Trees" by the other elves and was hereby banned from the village.

 Shortly after being chased away from his birthplace, Thalu "The Bane of Trees" stumbled upon a Dwarven fortress. For him, it was like a new beginning. These people seemed to detest nature almost as much as he did, and respected only combat prowess (and booze consumption). Quickly becoming friends with the rough, bearded denizens of the fortress, Thalu managed to obtain an iron great axe, a shield, and a heavy supply of booze before setting off again. It was the first time he had seen an axe, as they were absolutely forbidden in elven civilizations. Instantly, he knew what he had to do. He returned to his village and went berserk, felling elves and trees alike, thus earning the name of Bowelforest (after spilling so much guts that the entire forest was covered in it).

 The violent (and awesome) elf then went on many great adventures, slaying countless fearsome beasts, bringing necromancer towers to ruin, recruiting followers from all over the world and building Dangerbreach the Tower of Glory, an immense tower housing himself and his many companions, standing just next to a goblin fortress.

 Now that the introduction is done, let us begin with the gist of the story.



Over the course of my adventures, I have managed to gather quite a crowd of followers. 42, to be precise. Most of them are simple peasants, but that doesn't make them any less skilled : To train them, I went to a Bronze Colossus lair and let them hit it until it died (without giving them steel weapons), thus probably raising all their respective weapon skills to legendary or a little bit below. I have also raised their discipline by exposing them to the MASSIVE amout of goblin corpses and severed body parts that lay around Dangerbreach the Tower of Glory. We are currently in the top floors of a goblin dark fortress, ready to overthrow whatever demon might be in there (it's not the one next to Dangerbreach tho, that one didn't have a demon overlord for some reason.) They couldn't be any more prepared for this. (Actually, they could, if I bothered to give a shield to each of them but eh, it's whatever.) [Here I used dfhack's reveal command to get a good group pic, but I don't usually use commands at all.]




I'm also pretty good myself, boasting legendary skill in several military skills (and competent woodcutter !) as well as superelven physical stats (not that it means much tho, elves are pussies). I'm wielding a steel great axe of exceptional quality (not masterwork though :v) that I found in that dwarf fortress from the beginning and a copper shield. My armour consists of a copper breastplate, a copper mail shirt and several layers of clothes.



As we advance to the next floor, we finally meet the demon. It boasts a sick, twisted appearance, somewhat resembling a pangolin. I also notice it has what seems to be a web shooting gland. This could be a problem.



We rush into battle, leaving the demon with little time to react. Surprised, it doesn't shoot any webs at us and we begin our assault. However, most of our strikes seem to have no effect on the demon's thick exterior and her masterwork clothes (just ignore that message about breaking a bone, that was like one out of a hundred :v). We are starting to lose hope as the demons begins severing limbs left and right.




Fortunately, I manage to land two critical blows, severing both of the demon's hands, thus inspiring my companions to start landing effective blows.



After quite a little bit of fighting, we finally manage to take down the demon (which I learn was named Zefon Greasebud. Eww). Success !
It's armor, while very effective, is unfit for a smol elf such as me, so I leave it.



Noticing something hiding behind a pillar and shivering, I rush to the back of the room to find the "lord" of the Dark Fortress shaking in fear and I quickly chop his head off. Victory ! However, this is only the beginning...

TO BE CONTINUED

(On the next episode, we go into the circus !!!)