From the journal of "Fperson1"... uh... bollocks, what's my last name againSometime in Summer, can't be arsed to remember datesI hate literally everything.
First, the bloody world collapses in on itself, and I find myself in a random forest somewhere. Then I run into a contingent of elves that decide they want to eat my bones. Then, after I manage to escape the suddenly-not-wooden arrows of doom, I get press-ganged into carrying plural horses by some passing ambulatory phalluses. Then the air turns into some kind of horrid purple goo. Then I lose my fucking eyes. Then I get lucky, and wind up in a fort that has a pressing need for a weaponsmith.
But then they tell me to make crossbows.
Do I look sound like a bloody bowyer? I make axes, hammers, swords, things that bring joy to those poor depressed maniacs that join the military, that carve the flesh from the bones of the foes of the dwarves, or else smash them into unrecognizable paste. I do not make little needle-throwers, worthless weapons powered by a bit of sinew instead of old-fashioned dwarven muscle, things that turn enemies into nothing more than pincushions. Where's the glory in giving the enemy superfluous orifices from behind a fortification?
More importantly, when someone sees notices a masterful axe, they admire it, they praise the craftsdwarf that slaved over the forges for days to make it. Nobody looks thinks twice about any crossbow, good or bad.
Of course the overseer's not quite right in the head either. I tried to tell the lad why crossbows were worthless, why we should be making glorious dwarven axes and hammers, and he just smiles, claps me on the shoulder, and says "but we need crossbows." Meanwhile, a hapless recruit toddles past, shite ant-man spear strapped to his back. Trying to tell me we what dwarves need when we don't even have booze.
Oh yeah, we're out of booze. And water. And apparently some arsehole ogre has murdered half our military, which wouldn't have happened if they'd had my spears instead of all those bloody crossbows. If this is my final entry, let Armok and the world know that I hate literally everything.
(I'm quite enjoying these updates, kinda sad I didn't notice them until just now. Is there any chance I could get a look at our dorfs' status screens?)
