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Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: Counsel of Wizards
« on: February 13, 2024, 12:03:10 am »
What defines the 'perfect chair'?
"Invokana?"
Naturally, one must be able to sit in it. After all, this is the purpose of chairs. A chair that cannot be sat in is not a chair at all. At best, it might be a desk.
"Hello? Magus Invokana?"
However, it must also be possible to cease sitting in it, as the purpose of the chair is not to be sat upon forever. Even that most regal of chairs, the throne, is intended to be vacated from time to time.
"Do you think she can hear us?"
"...try knocking maybe?"
So we come upon the most basic qualities a chair must have, and which should presumably be perfected in order to produce a 'perfect chair': the ability to sit on it, and the ability to stop sitting on it.
*Tunk tunk tunk*
"Hmn? Come in, come in."
The doorknob jiggled, locked. Invokana waved a hand, and the latch audibly shifted open.
Two hunters - one human, the other elven - carefully walked into the room.
"We, ah, brought the teeth and claws and such?"
"Ah, that. Excellent, excellent. Bring it here, bring it here." She swept her notebook to the side, pulling a small diorama forest to the center of her desk.
"...what is that?"
"Essential for the ritual, I assure you. Modeled after a particular clearing at the approximate center of the Riverwood. I have left some corresponding totems there as additional Connections, matching those in the model. Thank you, thank you. Do you wish to watch?"
The hunters shared glances.
"...sure?"
"Wonderful, wonderful." As they watched, she sifted through the collection of animal parts that they'd acquired; it took a moment, but it became clear that she was keeping exactly one sample from each species. "Yes, yes, this should work, this should work... excellent." She held a vaguely-purple claw up to the light. "You retrieved a claw from one of the waldtier? You have done well, done well indeed. Yes, this will be useful."
After 95% of their haul was swept aside, uncared for, the arcaness seemed to focus upon the few items retained. A myriad small tools arose from gods-knew-where and began flitting about the ivory trinkets, engraving them with symbols and images barely visible. Then, they were placed in a circle within the diorama clearing, surrounding a selection of pillars.
"Silver knows the magic as the iron knows the land, aurum knows the kingdom as the cuprum knows the hand..."
Oh boy. She was chanting.
"...oak and ash and thorn will sing of nature's wild grace, red in tooth and claw within the forest's dark embrace.
All in one, oh Riverwood, grant unto our blades, the fearsome beasts' ferocity that you have ever bade,
For what are we but beasts of yours, implore to know your own, as foreign things would take from you, bring ruin to our home."
Gods of the forest and skies, all the damned runes were glowing. And it looked like some of the light was shining out of the arcaness' hood, not just into it.
After a few more minutes of unintelligible magic words, the glow subsided.
"Hmn... yes, yes, I think that should work. Excellent, excellent." A moment. "Oh, you're still here, right, right. Ah, the trees within the diorama were made from shavings from trees around the country in order to increase the narrative Connections to the nation as a whole, and the intention here was to Sacrifice some of the power and danger of the present plague of beasts to imbue into our soldiery and their weapons- where are you going? I thought you wanted to know how the ritual worked?"
The hunters were already running out the door.
They were not paid enough to deal with the really high-grade magic.
"Invokana?"
Naturally, one must be able to sit in it. After all, this is the purpose of chairs. A chair that cannot be sat in is not a chair at all. At best, it might be a desk.
"Hello? Magus Invokana?"
However, it must also be possible to cease sitting in it, as the purpose of the chair is not to be sat upon forever. Even that most regal of chairs, the throne, is intended to be vacated from time to time.
"Do you think she can hear us?"
"...try knocking maybe?"
So we come upon the most basic qualities a chair must have, and which should presumably be perfected in order to produce a 'perfect chair': the ability to sit on it, and the ability to stop sitting on it.
*Tunk tunk tunk*
"Hmn? Come in, come in."
The doorknob jiggled, locked. Invokana waved a hand, and the latch audibly shifted open.
Two hunters - one human, the other elven - carefully walked into the room.
"We, ah, brought the teeth and claws and such?"
"Ah, that. Excellent, excellent. Bring it here, bring it here." She swept her notebook to the side, pulling a small diorama forest to the center of her desk.
"...what is that?"
"Essential for the ritual, I assure you. Modeled after a particular clearing at the approximate center of the Riverwood. I have left some corresponding totems there as additional Connections, matching those in the model. Thank you, thank you. Do you wish to watch?"
The hunters shared glances.
"...sure?"
"Wonderful, wonderful." As they watched, she sifted through the collection of animal parts that they'd acquired; it took a moment, but it became clear that she was keeping exactly one sample from each species. "Yes, yes, this should work, this should work... excellent." She held a vaguely-purple claw up to the light. "You retrieved a claw from one of the waldtier? You have done well, done well indeed. Yes, this will be useful."
After 95% of their haul was swept aside, uncared for, the arcaness seemed to focus upon the few items retained. A myriad small tools arose from gods-knew-where and began flitting about the ivory trinkets, engraving them with symbols and images barely visible. Then, they were placed in a circle within the diorama clearing, surrounding a selection of pillars.
"Silver knows the magic as the iron knows the land, aurum knows the kingdom as the cuprum knows the hand..."
Oh boy. She was chanting.
"...oak and ash and thorn will sing of nature's wild grace, red in tooth and claw within the forest's dark embrace.
All in one, oh Riverwood, grant unto our blades, the fearsome beasts' ferocity that you have ever bade,
For what are we but beasts of yours, implore to know your own, as foreign things would take from you, bring ruin to our home."
Gods of the forest and skies, all the damned runes were glowing. And it looked like some of the light was shining out of the arcaness' hood, not just into it.
After a few more minutes of unintelligible magic words, the glow subsided.
"Hmn... yes, yes, I think that should work. Excellent, excellent." A moment. "Oh, you're still here, right, right. Ah, the trees within the diorama were made from shavings from trees around the country in order to increase the narrative Connections to the nation as a whole, and the intention here was to Sacrifice some of the power and danger of the present plague of beasts to imbue into our soldiery and their weapons- where are you going? I thought you wanted to know how the ritual worked?"
The hunters were already running out the door.
They were not paid enough to deal with the really high-grade magic.