DFGT VIII Round 3
Fight 3A: Ine the Impala Man vs Queen Regina Formicarium the Queen Ant WomanGamelog:
https://pastebin.com/kpLmg5as Ine (managed by dr00) struts into the arena, proudly displaying his shiny new steel helm, breastplate and steel sword to the onlookers. We heard he had quite the time haggling over prices with the blacksmiths, but eventually he got his order in, and some important training in. If he wants to avoid another close call like he faced against Yeti Soon to Become Spaghetti, he’ll need all he can get!
Queen Regina Formicarium (managed by PaperPlinkPlonk) enters into the arena, twirling her twin new iron spears, as the (large) section of the crowd formed of her children cheer in approval at her arrival. She’s one of the largest remaining gladiators aside from the minotaurs, and her performance against her previous opponent, Bughead the Ant Man and Estu Amazon the Dwarf, has shown she’s no slouch in combat either.
Queen Regina and Ine trade a series of blows, as the iron spears and steel long sword throw up sparks as they clash into one another. Queen Regina keeps up a steady advance as she attacks, before charging forward and using her greater mass to bowl Ine over. Queen Regina stabs at the downed impala man, but he merely parries it before lifting himself off with a strike. Queen Regina reveals her ploy though, as one of her spears punches through Ine’s copper gauntlet to mangle his right forearm!
Ine’s weapon is in his other hand though, and he swings back with a retaliatory strike to Queen Regina’s right thigh, smashing the chitin with the flat of the blade, and toppling her over. The Queen manages another strike into Ine’s right upper arm, but the impala man is upon her before she can do any more damage. Her first right forearm goes flying, and ichor spouts from her chest and right thigh. Queen Regina attempts a vengeful stab to bring Ine down to her level, but his copper mail robs the blow of much of it’s force, allowing Ine to partially sever her lower left arm, and tearing her gorgeous silk robe to shreds in the process.
Queen Regina continues to fight, but with both her energy and the amount of ichor she has left to give decreasing, the fight goes to a foregone conclusion as Ine continues to slash off hands and feet with his sword. The Great Queen eventually goes still, and as the bell is rung to announce Ine’s victory, a great wailing cry of horror erupts from Queen Regina’s children. Ant Women workers topple off their benches in horror, clutching at themselves, while Ant Men drones soar into the air, uttering echoing cries of pain. Congratulations Ine, you’ve advanced to the next round and toppled a whole cavern society!
Fight 3B: Butcher Bart the Human vs Sharpfist the Hyena ManGamelog:
https://pastebin.com/SV5kQjhz Butcher Bart (managed by SamJF) stumbles out of the arena gates, ahead of the shouts and prods of the guards this time. He’s quite the sight, still encrusted with the blood from his kill of Ligir Dustband, and rubbing his head as if he’s just woken up. It would have to have been quite the nap to sleep away an entire week, eh?
On the other hand (and side of the arena), Sharpfist (managed by BecauseISaid) seems alive with nervous energy. He bounces around on the pads of his feet, and swishes his steel knife through the air. The soft noises it makes as it passes through the air only seem to agitate him further though, as he looks up furtively at the organizer’s balcony, awaiting the sound of the bell.
And hear it he does! Sharpfsit bounds forward with inhuman speed, slashing his knife through both Butcher Bart’s right wrist and left ankle. Butcher Bart falls to the ground as he comes apart into three separate pieces, but he still keeps up the fight, jabbing with the steel carving fork in his left hand. Those in the audience closest to the arena also begin to hear a soft noise, almost like giggling…
Sharpfist remains focused on the fight though, lunging forward with his knife again to tear into Butcher Bart’s belly, opening a bright red gash on his pale skin suit. As he dodges around another sluggish stab of Bart’s, his next strike stabs deeply into his right shin, making a sharp crunching noise as he contacts bone. Members of the audience now look around at one another, as a steady chuckle comes up from the arena, seemingly at odds with the gruesome scene in front of them.
Butcher Bart attempts another stab, but Sharpfist calmly sidesteps it again, before punching the outstretched arm, and knocking the mad butcher’s remaining weapon out of his grasp. A quick follow up stab to his left forearm ensures he’ll never pick it up again. As Sharfist arcs his next strike downward, he completely saws away at Bart’s right leg! At this, Butcher Bart rears his head back, and cackling laughter echoes throughout the arena. Slowly, the crowd realizes that it isn’t the Hyena Man laughing, but rather the Human. Sharpfist takes a hesitant step back, before redoubling his efforts, and sinking both his dagger and fangs into Butcher Bart’s maimed belly. Butcher Bart’s laughter finally begins to fade as he folds up around these impacts, before both he, and his madness die, slumped down on the arena floor. Congratulations to Sharpfist! Your madness has proven the stronger of the two today, and carried you on to your next fight!
Fight 3C: Knifin’ Around the Hoary Marmot Woman vs Nijinsky the HumanGamelog:
https://pastebin.com/YxpzyphM Knifin’ Around (managed by Rendentare) waves her adamantine knife to the crowd, unleashing a piercing whistle as she enters. The closer members in the crowd cover their ears, but the rest cheer in excitement, and some even stuff fingers into their mouths to whistle right back at her. The Hoary Marmot woman seems blind to the world after her entry though, as she stares deeply into the gleaming depths of her adamantine dagger. Some claim that she wanders around at night, with it to her ear, or that instead of attending training sessions, she locks herself away in her room. Will her methods work? Only blood will tell.
Nijinsky (managed by Salmeuk) enters next, singing a quick ditty he seems to have picked up on the road.
♫ You can't touch this
You can't touch this
My, my, my, my
(You can't touch this)
Music hits me so hard ♫
We’ll see if there’s truth or not to this, as the determined dancer warrior has so far put his faith in his shield and his agility to avoid serious injury. Let the battle begin!
Knifin’ Around’s knife begins the fight by sinking into Nijinsky’s highwood shield. The two unnaturally light materials bounce off of one another, and the masked bard takes advantage of the opening to smack Knifin’ around with the pommel of his sword. The strike barely seems to affect the hoary marmot woman though, as she lets out a shrill whistle of anger as she slices her dagger across Njinsky’s weapon hand in return. The steel shortsword clatters to the ground as his hand goes limp, and the crowd lets out a groan at the early weapon loss. He’ll have to fight hard to come back from this!
Nijinsky fights unbothered though, as he swings wildly around with his shield. Knfin’ Around casually parries most of his strikes, and those that do get through merely bounce off of her. His play time comes to an end as she re-enters the fray, stabbing and twisting her dagger into his belly, before stabbing into his head. Ammazingly, the dagger seems to glance off of his hard head, though the leather mask now has a nasty tear through it, and Nijinsky fights on!
Knifin’ Around seems mildly frustrated by the strangely resilient music man, as she switches up tactics. This time when her knife flashes out, Nijinsky’s lower left leg and right forearm go flying, as he collapses to the ground. Nijinsky tries to chomp at Knifin’ Around, but she merely gives him her knife to bite on, sending his teeth flying as well. Don’t worry Nijinsky, if you survive this, we can make you pretty* again!
The hoary marmot woman seems unwilling to allow this possibility though, as her next stab lands on the meat of Nijinsky’s left arm, forcing him to drop his shield. With his defenses now completely down, Nijinsky goes on the offensive, lunging out with his remaining teeth. Nijinsky contemptuously kicks him aside though, and the downed bard sprawls on the ground, and remains there. Congratulations to Knifin’ Around.
*The DFGT legal team would like to take this moment to remind readers that an unqualified “pretty” is a subjective and undefined phrase in interspecies agreements. In this instance, [retty could easily mean what is pretty to a dwarf, or what is pretty to a blind cave ogre.
Fight 3D: Skitterleap the Rat Woman vs Horof Dreadhoof the Minotaur Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/VGCXbhcX Horof Dreadhoof (managed by Nibudd) has so far crushed two insect men, Gromp Gromp the Roach Man and Boofy the Ant Man, with his massive bronze great axe. Despite his tale of being ousted from his family as a cowardly avoider of pain, he so far seems to be taking a rather proactive approach to it, as he pounds opponents into paste before they can touch him!
Skitterleap (managed by ixn) enters the arena with her hands inside her robe sleeves, and her head bowed, as a picture of martial modesty. Suddenly she snaps her head up, and with a fiendish cackle, draws an adamantine dagger from one of her sleeves. The crowd goes wild at the revelation, as some of the bare chested martial artist enthusiasts boo at the loss of one of their champions. Let’s see if this bold switch favors the verminous villain!
The bronze great axe and adamantine dagger clash and clang against one another in the middle of the arena, as Skitterleap ducks and dodges around the whooshing axe blade, while Horof catches blows on the haft of his axe and dances nimbly around on his hooves. But Skitterleap makes the first mis-step, as she catches Horof’s axe in her mid-section, and blood begins to pour down her cotton robe.
Skitterleap seems perturbed by this development, and begins to frantically dodge around Horof’s axe more and more. Meanwhile her own attacks against him become more frantic, but Horof merely continues his inexorable approach, which the small adamantine dagger seems unable to stop. The minotaur’s strikes continue to land true, mangling Skitterleap’s off hand, before sinking his axe into the wide eyed rat woman’s scraggly chest. Skitterleap folds over around the axe, collapsing to the ground in pain, while Horof calmly withdraws it and claims his victory by striking off her head. Congratulations to Horof!
Fight 3E: The Roach Man Diago Pastor 53rd vs Sweetteeth the Leech ManGamelog:
https://pastebin.com/PJ2B3q1tDiago Pastor 53rd (managed by aspy523) hops into the arena, toting his newest purchase: an adamantine spear! While his family sits in silence, still judging his weapon choice, the crowd goes wild praising our bold roach man. There are some sour faces in the stands however, as my sources tell me that there has been some devious propaganda moves behind the scenes on the part of his foe's managers. Adding fuel to the fire, this match was already shaping up to be one of our fiercest yet, as the talent of these two fighters is top tier. All the backdoor news report bribes aren't enough to diminish this roach man's thunder however, as has been steadily building his reputation as a capable warrior after slaying Urist McGladiator and Rasgrid the Bard. Will Diago's dazzling new spear be enough to catapult him to ever greater success in honor of his late brother, or will his family's doubts about his weapon choice prove to have some merit?
Preceded by a disgusting cacophony of slurps, belches, gurgles and other assorted wet mouthed vocalizations, famished Sweetteeth (managed by Merrygin) slithers into the arena, eager for his next meal. More a toothed mouth than an actual humanoid, and more of a gourmand than a fighter, this ravenous leech man has nevertheless garnered a reputation as a tough and terrible foe. Nothing, and I mean nothing so far has gotten between him and his next fix of blood and fresh meat. His signature black bronze armor has been supplemented by the iron mail shirt pilfered off Mephit's corpse, while he's ditched his wooden buckler entirely. He should have invested in a bib I say, judging by the nasty remains of his previous meals spattered on his gullet... This leech man has reportedly had some beef already with Diago, as the two have tussled in the gym, though it's hard to tell if this has shaken or infuriated the leech man at all. Little can be discerned from his drooling maw, other than a dark insatiable hunger... Will this signature hunger translate to a hunger for victory, or will this hungry mouth taste only bitter defeat?
The bell rings, and our fighters race into action. Diago bashes, then stabs the leech man in the left arm with tremendous force and speed, forced to wrench his treasured spear from his foes' greasy flesh. Sweetteeth charges in, knocking the roach man prone for a dangerous second, before the roach man nimbly springs back to his feet, and stabs him again in the right arm! A follow-up bash to the chest is handily absorbed by Sweetteeth's black bronze breastplate however, appearing to cause some emotional stress to the roach man. Perhaps he gazed too deeply into the black abyss that is Sweetteeth's maw as for reasons unknown, Diago begins to yell out in terror! As he cries for someone to save him, he still manages to stab the leech man in his hungry gut, lodging his adamantine weapon deep in its folds and causing a spray of arterial bleeding to spurt in a majestic arc. As Diago wrenches his spear free, Sweetteeth seizes his chance, and lands his first hit: a toothy bite to the left arm!
As if to replenish the blood he's lost, Sweetteeth takes a moment to indulge his cravings, and sucks greedily from Diago's arm; guzzling down thick gobs of roach man ichor. Reaching deep into his reserve of willpower, perhaps reflecting on his dearly departed brother, Diago shrugs off the hideous injury, and stabs Sweetteeth in the right arm again. Shockingly, it is he who loses a limb, as the leech man shakes his fanged head to-and-fro, and rips his second left arm with a sickening wet rip. The roach man still has several arms to use however, and he quickly adjusts his grip on his spear, tearing it out of Sweetteeth's arm and adopting a defensive stance. Sweetteeth lets his foe's severed arm fall from his mouth with a disgusting plop, but his next attack ends in failure. Blocked by the roach man's shield, he then loses his own left arm to a powerful stab of Diago's adamantine spear! In an attempt to even the score, and number of remaining limbs, Sweetteeth hisses and bites the roach man in retaliation: his teeth locking on Diago's first right arm!
Once again, the arena is subjected to a disgusting wet sucking noise, as Sweetteeth slurps the blood out of Diago's arm, before his feral instincts compel him to rip it off entirely! This time Diago shrugs off the fear, but a fruitless exchange of blows finally results in another brutal bite to his lower body. By the gods, Sweetteeth cannot contain himself today, as he takes any opening he can, this one included, to suck the blood from poor Diago! His tried and true 'bite and shake' attack method is supplemented by a blood sucking phase, as the leech man wrecks Diago's lower body, before tearing off his right foot. Diago falls over, pale from the blood loss and gravely injured. His fate is sealed, as the leech man bites his already mangled second upper left arm off, savoring the tasty insect ichor that dribbles out all the while. In a final act of defiance, not wishing to make Sweetteeth's meal too easy a matter, Diago blocks a biting thrust with his shield, and rolls out of reach. At last, he mercifully bleeds out, dying of blood loss as the wails of his adoring family echo in the stands. A small comfort perhaps that he will not have to hear his mother's 'I told you so' regarding his spear preference...
Having already gorged himself on Diago's blood, our hungry leech man basks in the cheers and jeers from the spectators! Congratulations, Sweetteeth! Your ravenous hunger has allowed you to come out on top once more, despite receiving some grievous wounds. Now don't overeat, leech man. You'll need to maintain that hunger for victory if you want to succeed in the Quarter Finals!
Fight 3F: The Human Carabella The Fast vs The Wolverine Man Logem Branchsyrup Gamelog:
https://pastebin.com/sYHsi3FMCarabella the Fast (managed by RandomFastom) saunters in, having squandered most of her training and purchasing time espousing the virtues of ranged combat, while shining a light on the murky world of the Military-Workshop Complex. Fascinating stuff, though her relaxed approach to this matchup could backfire, as despite a few impressive wins, she now faces a ferocious foe...
Logem Branchsyrup (managed by kesperan) puffs a cigar as he admires his new blade with wicked wonder. He's apparently strong-armed the whereabouts of his new weapon from some poor bub, who dutifully pointed him to the Quartermaster's shop. With this seemingly simple act, ol' amnesiac Logem finally has his muscly paws on the item of his dreams: an adamantine katana (scimitar). Squashing the bud of his stogie beneath his foot, he grins at his human foe, eager to put this treasure to use. Will the weapon of his dreams pay off, or will this matchup be a nightmare for the gruff wolverine man?
Not a second is wasted in this matchup, both fighters aiming for disabling strikes within mere moments of the bell ringing. Carabella's first steel bolt flies true, and imbeds itself in Logem's left arm! Logem's determination and training quickly prove decisive however, as he slices off the human's left arm in revenge! Her arm and weapon now sailing away in a jet of crimson, Carabella maintains her wintery cool and merely grits her teeth; lunging at the wolverine man with her remaining bolts. Logem’s training seems to be paying off however, as she cannot find an opening, as the wolverine man dodges and parries all of her blows. He wields his adamantine katana as surely as it were an extension of his own body; a dazzling blue metal claw singing as it slashes and stabs gruesome injuries into the human's right leg, upper body, and right arm in quick succession.
Carabella's right arm bears the brunt of this razor sharp punishment, until a vicious stab finally renders it useless; spasming tendons forced to drop their steel bolts into the dirt. Carabella is given no time to process this violence, before Logem stabs her in the head! Incredibly, this blow doesn't even knock the cold hearted Carabella out, and she continues swinging and gnashing her teeth in defiance! She even manages to knock Logem off his feet with a full body charge! Logem is forced on the backfoot from this surprising resilience for a few harrowing seconds, before he renews his attack; slicing and dicing the crippled archer to frilly red ribbons!
Despite Carabella's tenacity, this fight's outcome is certain now. After withstanding more punishment to her extremities, a mighty stab to the upper body finally knocks her out of the fight. As she slides off her foe's blade and falls to the floor and into unconsciousness, Logem brings his katana down on the human's exposed neck, decapitating Carabella and ending her dreams of being a big player in the Military-Workshop Complex.
Congratulations Logem on another swift victory! By eliminating the last ranged contestant, you've secured your place in the Quarter Finals! Now rest and make ready for your next matchup; your precious adamantine katana will be put to the test in your coming fights, no doubt.
Fight 3G: Priest Ndrog the Human vs Stimraug the Armadillo ManGamelog:
https://pastebin.com/PdtK9sgeStimraug (managed by stimraug) walks into the arena with confidence that has been growing since round 1. This armadillo man is of shorter stature than most competitors, but it was his first fight when he proved that size isn’t everything. Between rounds he equipped himself with a new steel helmet and mail shirt. He’s also traded in his iron dagger which seemed so familiar to him for a steel dagger. He did quite a bit of practicing with the new dagger as well. He flips and twirls it like a toy as he walks into positions.
Opposite the armadillo man is Priest Ndrog (managed by Quantum Drop), the blood cultist and warrior who has demonstrated frightening skill and efficiency with his halberd, dismembering opponents with ease. Speaking of the halberd, Priest Ndrog has exchanged his iron halberd for a steel one. He also upgraded his armor a bit, too, now wearing a steel mail shirt and gauntlets. We didn’t see him spend any time at all in training, only shopping carefully since last round. He admires his new halberd, then plants it before him and begins a prayer.
The bell rings and Stimraug waits for nothing, dashing toward Priest Ndrog in an all-out offensive. He stabs the priest in the hand, failing to pierce the steel gauntlet but denting it badly. Priest Ndrog parries the next attack and stabs Stimraug in the arm, glancing off of Stimraug’s own steel gauntlet. Stimraug aims for the head, bashing the dagger into Ndrog’s helm, pulling his neck further than it ought to be pulled. Stimraug’s attacks seem ineffective, but he’s staying right on top of the halberd wielding priest, preventing Ndrog from winding up a deadly, dismembering swing.
Stimraug strikes again. “Oh, how quickly this will end, human,” he scoffs. Priest Ndrog parries the strike and thrusts the halberd, and Stimraug tumbles out of the way. “Yes,” the priest replies, “flesh is easily sundered. You’ll see”.
Stimraug’s next strike is parried, but Priest Ndrog’s counterattack is parried as well and Stimraug slams his dagger down into the priest’s foot! The dagger punctures through the iron boot and Ndrog falls to the ground with the dagger firmly implanted in his foot. Stimraug dodges an attack to reclaim the dagger, then stabs into the opposite leg, again piercing the armor! Priest Ndrog will need to finish this fight on the ground. Stimraug remains completely on the offense, trying to land a blow somewhere that isn’t protected, but the priest does a good job keeping his armor between them. Not good enough, though, as Stimraug slashes his foot and cuts it away from his leg entirely!
Priest Ndrog’s wounds are taking their toll on his focus. Stimraug continues his ferocious assault, walking circles around the fallen priest as he strikes repeatedly for any opening and easily parries any attack from Ndrog. He cuts off an ear, and delivers two more deep stabs to the leg and foot. Priest Ndrog has no choice, he can’t win defensively like this. He takes his chance and leaves himself open in a gamble on one powerful thrust of his halberd. He misses! Stimraug needs not even one second to pay it back, and slashes at Priest Ndrog’s neck. It’s a flawless strike and Ndrog’s head tumbles from his shoulders, a pool of blood chasing it across the arena ground.
Congratulations, Stimraug! Your talent and tenacity are unmatched.
Fight 3H: Beast of Spearimpale the Minotaur vs Zeps the Rat ManGamelog:
https://pastebin.com/nug89hDSThe gates open and a long shadow leads the Beast of Spearimpale (managed by memmet) into the arena, emerging now with iron armor! With a full iron set of a helm, breastplate, greaves, boots, and gauntlets, the Beast appears ever more intimidating. It stomps its ironclad hooves to adjust to the new accessories. The crowd makes no sound at all – not a cheer, not a shout. The Beast of Spearimpale is greeted by the silence of a wary crowd, and the wind.
Well, those and its opponent, Zeps (managed by Eris235), who seems to be the only person in sight of the Beast who isn’t affected by its intimidating aura. Zeps has brutally exercised his self-proclaimed authority over two fighters thus far and surely sees this as an opportunity to drive even the most fearsome of creatures before him like cattle to be branded. Zeps has opted for some new gear of his own, grabbing an iron helm and a wooden buckler from the armory and spending quite a bit of time practicing his coordination between the scourge and shield between rounds.
The bell rings! The Beast opts not to charge Zeps to open the fight, a surprising show of restraint from such a creature. Instead they both run to meet each other in combat and when they finally clash a flurry of blows erupts! The Beast strikes first and Zeps sidesteps the attack, replying with a strong lash to the Beast’s upper arm, tearing into muscle! The beast takes no notice of its injury and keeps swinging, but Zeps dodges every attack! The rat man deftly dodges and parries dozens of strikes, all while landing more lashes on the minotaur. One strike to the same arm shreds the flesh further, then a strike to the legs and one to the head with enough force to dent the iron helm!
Zeps lets out a cruel snicker; this fight is no different than the last two. The Beast of Spearimpale replies with a mighty huff and gains a short distance between itself and Zeps. It leans forward and explodes into a charge! The Beast smashes into Zeps and sends him tumbling backwards! But Zeps is as talented as he is cruel, and quickly finds his footing. He’s upright before the Beast can close the gap. Zeps stands his ground and gets back into the fight. The rat man’s expression grows even more gleeful as the fight goes on.
Zeps lands another strike on the Beast’s iron gauntlet. Like the helm strike, it caves the metal in, clearly doing damage below the surface. The Beast takes a quick step back and leans into another charge! This one connects and sends Zeps flying back again! Zeps catches his footing and rights himself effortlessly yet again! But this time the Beast runs in to close the gap more quickly, hoping to land a follow-up attack. Zeps blocks the attack and counterattacks …but this was bait. The Beast raises its shield, not blocking the attack but letting it miss, and then it brings the shield down into Zep’s ribcage! The wind is knocked out of the rat man and the Beast takes the opportunity to smash the edge of his copper shield into Zep’s abdomen! The strike is powerful and folds the spine unnaturally. The breaking of vertebrae can be heard from the stands!
The Beast charges again, knocking the now gravely injured Zeps backwards. Somehow Zeps still manages to stand, and he even parries the beast’s follow-up attack, though just barely. Is this rat man powered by sadism instead of blood and bone?? The Beast of Spearimpale sidesteps an attack and stomps down onto Zep’s foot, exploding it into gore! Zeps falls to the ground. “No! It’s over too soon! There’s still so many who need punishment…” he angrily decrees. The Beast’s shield crashes down again, crushing Zep’s spleen and shattering his already mangled foot. Zeps cannot endure and gives in to pain.
The Beast huffs and snorts as it works Zeps’ body like a hot ingot on an anvil, his shield the hammer. It slams edge-first into the rat man’s torso over and over. The arena begins to sound like a butcher’s workshop; bones crack, ribs shatter and give way, the shield’s edge minces organs even without breaking skin. Eventually the shield only meets resistance against the ground behind Zep’s body. The skin splits open, spilling what may once have been guts and organs, but now resembles a pile of crushed sweet pods. Zeps is dead. The Beast of Spearimpale looms over the corpse for a few moments as its huffing and dark mooing return to normal breathing.
Congratulations, Beast of Spearimpale! One cruel soul has received a taste of his own medicine. Will you?
Fights 3A-3D written by Mkhos
Fights 3E and 3F written by SlitherPapi
Fights 3G and 3H written by Tekkud
