Bay 12 Games Forum

-Flood the valley with lava. 1z level thick in some places 2 in others.

Unless every single square of magma is at least 2 z levels, it will start evaporating.

When was the last time you saw a natural pond/river where the land around it was perfectly flat but as soon as you met water it was eight feet deep?

'Goblin Keep' is way too broad to convince me it's specifically related to Dwarf Fortress.  What medieval fantasy game doesn't have goblins and keeps in one form or another?

Besides, if the intention was to add a 'subtle' (read: not subtle) Dwarf Fortress reference, there are many more things which the game is famous for.

It's not a waste if you actually get to use it.

Sending a new peasant-with-pick to dig out some faint yellow diamonds, though...

Both lose to any form of dwarven machinery, but I'd have to say hammers; axes always felt like the wielder would be more savage/reckless.

Add $20.88 here, ty

[TL;DR: Add a place to keep babies and a labor task to take care of them]

Ok, I like to think I'm a pretty reasonable manager of Dwarven affairs here at Standardteachers;  wealth is high, dwarves are happy, workshops are being workshopped.  Pretty much everyone does what I say, trusting my judgement.  Sometimes I screw up, but only out of carelessness,  (Sorry Kadol, we'll get your remains out of that magma channel one of these days) but I've been pondering this little hypothetical situation for quite a while now.

Before I get down to it though, let me set the background.  My military started as a couple of marksdwarves [carefully] assigned to clean carp from the small river going through the area.  They were doing a good job - but what was really strange is they were Elite Marksdwarves in practically a year, just from shootin carp - and a little spywork shows that they've been shooting at some messed-up invulnerable or something carps at the edge of our territory for quite a while.  And they're getting experience from it!  I guess it makes sense though, considering they're doing what they would do at an archery range.

Anyway.  So I got these elite marksdwarves, and I don't need em shooting at glitched fishies no more, so I take em off duty and start broadening my militaristic options.  A couple dozen broken necks later and I got three hammerdwarves and three sworddwarves sparring away in the barracks.

This is about the time the trouble begins.  I'm not one to enforce no-touchie policies like no kissing in the halls - if a Dwarf is going to make babies, you're not going to stop them - but it seems that all my military Dwarves seem to be having a Dwarven Orgy in the barracks, and they pop out babies like a McUrist's pops out +Fried Kitten Biscuits+.  I'm not asking any of them who, or why, they've decided to take up a family life.

But a responsible manager's gotta plan ahead.

Let's say goblin ambush #7 makes its way to Standardteachers, and my military goes out to play some poker.  But wait!  They're all carrying their [not really] bloody babies with them.  Now a lucky Goblin gets a shot off at the baby, and it is a [really] bloody baby.  Or worse yet, the shot hits the mother through the left eye, spleen, and shoots down the spine like its a waterslide and the baby crawls around for a bit, only to be pulled/hacked apart by the gobbo melee crew.  Or it crawls into the magma shaft, or gets eaten by a Rhesus Macaque, or some other horribly gruesome fate you've implemented into this hellhole.

Now what kind of parent takes their kid with them into close combat!?  Apparently these Dwarves do, because nobody gave them the brains and/or decency to properly take care of their children.  And try as I might, I can't get the mommies to pry their hands off the little buggers for nothin.

So all I is askin for is a little pigpen where we can put the kids.  Maybe add a new job task, Child Care.  It'll make the peasants happy because they have a job, it'll make the parents happy because they don't have to watch the brat every hour of every day, and it'll make the babies happy because they'll have intact organs.  Also, that way if the mother dies somehow the baby isn't doomed along with her.

What do ya say?