Thunk gets drawbridges closed quickly to draw goblins to barracks!
Thunk will use tried and true Breadbowl strategy of luring goblins into barracks and hitting them with sharp and/or heavy pieces of metal until they are dead!
"THUNK IS READY! THUNK WILL DESTROY BREADBOWL'S ENEMIES!"
"... after Thunk takes a brief nap. Wake Thunk up when they get here."
"Wait, what?
Now?"
"Actually, you know what? I need a drink. Hold the fort while I'm gone."
"Metalhead, no! You can't just..."
"Oh hey, that reminds me, I need a new sock. So, you know... brb."
"Oh come on Big Sibrek, you're the commander,
you can't leave! Get back here you assholes! You absolute assholes!"
In the sudden silence,
Rovod,
Kol and
Gordak stared at each other.
"... well crud."
OOC: So, first lesson I learned today: give the militia a Station order as soon as
the goblins arrive. Do not let them continue training and expect them to still be there when you get back.
Cowardly pricks.
"Hey guys, need some backup slash goblin fodder?"
"Techno!" said Kol, obviously relieved, as the trainee squads captain entered the barracks ahead of several raw and nervous looking recruits. "Thank Armok."
"Hang on, where is everyone else?"
"They-"
"ROOOAAARR!" [SHING] *SPLACK!*
"- nevermind! That sounds like the door bell! Everyone hold position, they're coming in!"
[SHING] *SPLURK* [CRUNCH]
"Dammit, that sounds like another trap jammed. They're nearly through."
"Hold position, Rovod."
"But they're about going to get in! We should take the fight to them!"
"I SAID HOLD POSITION, RECRUIT OILYBUST!"
[awkward silence]
"Wait, your name is-"
"CHAARRRGE!"
"Shit! Alright, everyone in! Let's crack some skulls!"
OOC: Second lesson I learned: it's impossible to keep dwarves away from a fight. Nice try with the staggered trap corridor, whoever designed that, but once they see the first ogre all bets are off and all you can do is cross your fingers and charge.
Rovod Oilybust was the first to fall. She was a skilled axedwarf, but after she was lifted bodily and thrown into Kol by an ogre, she was easily prey to goblin lashes.
Next to fall were Goden and Rigoth, both raw recruits, and both seeing combat for the first time.
Seeing his companions falling left, right and center, the only rookie left on the field narrowed his eyes and dove into the fray.
OOC: Third lesson: don't let non-legendary dwarves do anything
. They are delicate little flowers that cannot be trusted to survive a stiff wind, let alone a goblin siege.
"Ahahahahah! I love you guys! You're my best bro's!"
"Techno what are you... are you
drunk?!"
"I feel so gooooood what noooo I'm not druuuunk I've only had a few."
"Dammit Techno, being drunk doesn't make you fight better!"
"Oh. Well... huh. I guess I stand corrected."
Techno, Kol, Feb and Gordak stand alone in a field of goblin bodies. Somewhere under the dead greenskins lie 3 dwarves, but the 4 living don't have time to grieve.
Feb: [pant] [pant] [pant] "Is... is that it? Is it over? Is the horror over?"
Kol: "Nope. On your feet, rookie, those were just the front runners.
Now the real fight begins."
Feb: "Oh. Great. Well, okay then."
Gordak: "How many, do you think?"
Techno: "Not sure. They're bunched up, so it's hard to say. Around ninety... maybe a hundred."
Kol: "Well, I guess that means we outnumber them 1 to 25. Let's not keep them waiting, eh? You want to do the honors rookie?"
Feb: "Right." [deep breath] "CHAAAARRRRGGGE!"
Feb was the next to die, but not without taking more than a few goblins with him. The cruel beasts were not merciful to the poor kid. They made sure he died in pain.
Back inside, Dirk fell to her knee's, her stomach tightening in grief at the sound of a loud, long scream from outside the walls. It should not have been possible to distinguish her sons wails from the rest, but somehow she knew.
The battle raged on and on. Eventually, a legendary dwarf fell to the ground, but not from goblin weapons: Techno collapsed from overexertion.
Luckily for her, Kol and Gordak had control of the fight by this stage. Despite their tiredness, they managed to to push the fight away from their friend.
It took some time for Techno to rouse, by which stage the siege was dwindling and reinforcements were on the way in the form of Metalhead 183 and Tonnot.
But the hero's of the day weren't about to let some johnny-come-lately's muscle in on their glorious battle, however. Techno and Gordak fought hard to break the siege before anyone else could arrive, charging into the forest to hunt down the bowmen who had been taking potshots into the melee the entire time.
It was hardly a fair fight: even on the last ounce of their strength, either one of them was more than a match for 10 bowgoblins. Meanwhile, Kol put Kastoltegir through the last ogre.
Surprisingly, the fight never quite became a route. I have to give credit to the Hell of Emancipating goblins: they kept fighting to the last.
And then, finally, when the last goblin was dead...
"THUNK WELL RESTED AND READY TO DEFEND BREADBOWL! WHERE ARE GOBLINS? WHERE IS THUNKS AXE?! LET THUNK AT THEM!"
The hero's of the day all got rather significant titles for this days work, although Gordak already had his before the battle started:
Kill counts:Techno (8 notable, 44 other),
Kol (6 notable, 93 other)
Gordak (18 notable, 78 other).
Thunk proud of fellow militia dwarves and also annoyed Thunk not get to thunk any goblins, but no time to rest! Thunk doesn't care what you did before, Thunk put everyone on cleanup duty! Thunk sick of the smell of Breadbowl summers!
