18
« on: September 13, 2014, 12:39:43 am »
So I decided to make a new adventurer. I made him a demigod wrestler and started as a dwarf. Equipment was meh. Copper spear and no shield. I found a merchant room that had the count, duke, militia commander, and outpost liaison all in the same room. I immediately grabbed the count by the tongue and threw him across the room. As he flew, the room erupted into chaos with everyone screaming about vengeance and how this was their fight too. Several ganged up on the duke at the northern corner of the room. I then proceeded to put the count's shoulder in a joint lock and collapse it into his torso. Once he was unconscious, I grabbed his tongue again and pinched it out, then took his axe and shield for shits and giggles. I threw the shield at some no-count bone doctor who had started assaulting me. He was stunned long enough for me to get a grip on his head and gouge out his eyes, cheeks, lips, and eyelids. He was bleeding out so I stabbed him the head until he died. I returned to the count and punched him several times in the neck, killing him. By this time, the militia commander was obviously taking out a long-standing grudge on the duke and was beating him mercilessly. I decided to intervene and cut off the commander's foot with a blow from my newly acquired steel axe. The duke was recuperating from his beating when I joint-locked his hip and crushed it into his body. I then decapitated him, and his assailant. Finally I turned my focus to the liaison. I ripped his tongue out next, then bit his head and shook him around for a while. After I became bored of this, I beat him for quite some time with his own tongue, then threw his vomit at him, breaking his hand. Finally I ended it all by crushing his skull with a golden throne.