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Did you know that babies strive better if they are regularly hugged and kissed. Physical contact is very important and face to face meetings too. Your loneliness will not go away by speaking with forum avatars.When you're going without conversations at all for months, if not years, you don't care, if you're talking with avatars, or real persons. You just need to talk. And that's what I feel right now. I wish somebody would talk to me... well, somebody I can understand.
You asked for help here, so listen to the advices made to you, as i evaluated all of them as not harmful.
You are not only lonely, you are full of fear of people. Grab hold of that, not all people are unlike you, afterall your genetic makeup is 99.9% equal to all surrounding you. You belong to the group of people in your area, your city, your country, you are human. Your nature forbids eremitism.
But you have come to a good place to fight your loneliness, people here on lifeadvice/bay12 are very educated and helpful, most of the time, and if you open up to their suggestions you will succeed.
People have failed you in the past, but that does not mean they'll do it again.
I wish you success in your goal...
Well... any particular rpg forums? I didn't have the best of luck with them.Bay12?
I actually meant one on one talks, not what you suggest, sorry.I'm interested in online talks only, actually.You could join us over in General Discussion, there's always something happening there.
I don't know about IRC or forum work. And I won't define a friend, because it's something not meant for this.I'm interested in online talks only, actually.How will that help with loneliness alone?
IRC? Forum work?I don't need friends in real life, because it won't be something I crave for. And yes, I do have a job.How do you define a friend? This sounds like you've already a concept to go by, and for you it has something negative to it.
And you could answer other things in nenjin's, and others' posts that you quoted.It helps detail the situation better.
If that helps you feel less lonely, go for online rpg forums, there are plenty of those. Forums in general seem like a good fit.Well... any particular rpg forums? I didn't have the best of luck with them.
Food. Food/cofee/tea is your best friend in regards to getting to know people. If there is anyone who you remotely think you might want to know, offer to grab something to eat with them.I'm interested in online talks only, actually.
It might not solve the base issue immediately, but at the very least it gives you an excuse to hang out.
Alternatively, seek out groups or organizations that have similar interests to you. The main reason that I got out of my own loneliness funk is because I found a fraternity who helped me to break out of my shell, which in turn helped me to be the person who I was arguably meant to be.
Friends in real life can be everywhereRoleplaying, video games, talks about good things.
In all seriousness, friends who you can talk to face-to-face are pretty great. I've always managed to get by by talking to people, maybe asking for their help at times and then giving them help in return. Aspiring to get better at things is sometimes a good way to make friends.People in real life have drastically different lifestyles, purposes, desires, etc. than me. I'm kinda of an odd one around here. So finding people in the web is much more likely.In addition, you're sort of underestimating the variety of people around you. Everybody has all kinds of traits nobody ever knew about, and being the odd one out doesn't mean you'll never make friends among your community. Finding people on the web is good, but even it pales in comparison to having somebody you can talk to in person (or so it has always seemed to me). Many of the friends I have now I would never have met if I didn't hang out in certain places and do certain things (like playing an instrument or being a student librarian, or something)
What kind of interests do you have (other than the Interwebs)?
Didn't really answer some my question SP. Do you have a job? Are you still in school? Do you have actual opportunities to meet people and get to know them or are you having to invent them all?I don't need friends in real life, because it won't be something I crave for. And yes, I do have a job.
I'm a really big introvert. I often feel "different and weird" and awkward compared to people around me. It's easy as an introvert to reduce your chances for social interaction to zero if you let yourself, then feel bad for being isolated.
Truth is, you just have to be out there, be relaxed and hope for the best. A job and/or school (hopefully not high school) are chances to meet people. The secret to meeting people once you're around them is ask about them. Ask about the stuff they're into like you're genuinely interested in the answer (and you should be since you want to meet people.) Just be relaxed and be honest and you'll find people that want to know you will seek you out. Be calm and not self-pitying enough to be funny, smart, gracious. Because if you walk around with a black cloud over your head or surrounded by your own self pity, people see that and they ask "Do I really want to hang out with someone who is this hard on themselves/angry/sad." I'm not saying all that to be mean, it's just truth. If you want people to want to get to know you, you have to show them the best of yourself.
I mean, here's an example.....I've been sitting here asking you questions about yourself and you have.....nothing to say. You haven't really told me or anyone anything other than generalities about how you've tried everything and nothing works and, sorry, but "oh woe is me." Think on that.
There's your problem. You need people in real life.People in real life have drastically different lifestyles, purposes, desires, etc. than me. I'm kinda of an odd one around here. So finding people in the web is much more likely.
Well, if that's tru, I won't ever get anyone to talk to.QuoteWell, I tried that and many other things as well, and none of them worked.
Why didn't they work? You say a lot of stuff doesn't work but you don't explain why.
You could always volunteer your time at a homeless shelter or food bank. My dad made me do that when I was 15, I hated it. Initially. But then I started helping people and that felt pretty good, and getting to know my coworkers, and it turned out to be a pretty fulfilling experience.
Do you have a job? Jobs are a quick way to find a social circle.
I'll be honest you: you seem desperate. Which is understandable. But desperate makes you look like a charity case and you don't get genuine social contact doing that. You get pity, which is like giving a starving man a single potato chip. It will keep them going but it won't solve their hunger. You need to be less desperate because truly, people pick up on this stuff. Perhaps that's why many of your other attempts have failed...because people can pick up on how desperate you are and that ultimately drives them away.
I truly believe you have to like being around yourself before you can expect anyone else to like being around you.
I don't see how money can lubricate your loneliness problem.People who run charity... they give their money to those in need, right? Well, I'd like to have a charity that way: people who run charity will give their time to talk with lonely persons, such as myself. Instead of money, they will talk.
You can have all the cash in the world, and still no one to genuinely respect you.
If that isn't what you were implying in your post, might you detail more about the charity lines?
If you can't go out to find friends, or don't have IRL friends, you'll have to go to roleplaying forums, be an active forumite here or there, play an online game and develop rapport. You can't just force it; that said going online gaming might be a step in the right direction to at least fend it off.
Beware of the trap that is escapism though; gaming too much may result in your numbness for reality and your non-participation in very important activities in real life.
Thanks you.I've said it before, and I'll say it again. No good can come from continuing this discussionWell nothing bad came out of it.
Flame war? Nothing of the sort. What good came out is information from both sides. With how it is, however, its not best to assume anger in this situation.
I can understand that anger flares up at times like these, with how far viewpoints go and such, but all I feel for Sam is...err, how to describe pity with a total wish to help him? That. Whatever events have happened in his life lead to how he sees things now, and I feel very much with how that process works...having gone through it very thoroughly for 8 years here.
It's something that takes time to recognize and realize (ie the source of good, and why people are attached to things and such...), and to help make an informed decision--while it may be denied in word, it at least is sensed by the eyes and analyzed by the mind.
Anyway, wishing you well here, Sam. Hopeful we are of you and that person and in general.
