Stop enjoing just slaughering everything, don't be mad person possesed by some kind of deamons. Export data about your village, find smallest one. Generate world without knowing whole legends. Join to smallest village, start talking. Read what they are speaking, who is well traveled, who is just fast generated junk...
Bring some lethers, meats, sell them. Look how persons are GLAD, because you did someting fine. Get some soldiers with you, some guides (two-three are good number) find this chilling horror, make manhunt... Prepare everybody, give them weapons, order to stay in correct positions...
Why should we? Maybe it's fun for you to play like that, but why should everyone? And besides, everyone is telling me that the bandits are causing them HARDSHIP, not thieves, bandits, that means they aren't just stealing things, they probably killed a few people too. I will go to their camp and slay them in the name of Armok.
Unfortunately, in this current version this will cause the people who sent me to deal with the bandits to hate me, because emotions are not working correctly right now. I really hope in this upcoming patch with new emotions this issue will be fixed. Hopefully it will fix vampires not attacking anything when they are revealed and other stuff like goblin raiders, terrorizing people on the streets being neutral to you(same for bandits).
Edit: Also, I don't know if I'm just lucky, but I never had trouble finding someone who knows directions to lairs/whatever. Try looking in the local mead hall, lord/lady usually tell you where the site is located, or tell you about someone who can. You can then ask him/her directions to that man(usually he/she is somewhere in that same mead hall, in my experience).