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The Austrian nobility sends the Italian nobility a fruit basket. The fruit basket contains a wide arrangement of exotic fruits, fine Austrian chocolates, and a small bomb with the words "No hard feelings" hastily scrawled across it.


Declare war on Italy.
1 Army from 48 to 40.
1 Army from 40 to 62.
Build a railroad in 41.
Build academies in 40, 41, and 47.

Offer a military alliance to the Ottomans, for they surely see that the vile Russians must be coming for them next.

Tem:

You exit the kitchen and wait. After a short while, a part of the wall folds up to reveal the chef. Now that you can see his face, he is a very strange looking fellow. His eyes are completely obscured by big, bushy eyebrows and his mustache is similarly huge and obscuring.

"Breekffest is serfed! Iferyune-a furm leenes nuo, und du nut ruosh! Becun, beuons, und beescuoit I im serfing."

The chef sneaks up behind Papyrus and whacks him in the head with a wooden spoon.
"Touou mooch saltoo! Bork bork bork."

The chef rejects the spaghetti! It has too much salt!

Possesses an avatar that is getting increasingly disturbing.

Sayla:

There is the tower, and then there is the forest. Seeing as there is no sign of an actual lumber mill on the shore, you assume that it must be within the forest. If only you had a way into the forest without getting lost...

You decide to enter the tower, in search of loot. You arrive just in time to see Saevire punch half of a man in the face.

Lyssha:

Oh look, Juniper's back! And she just knocked herself unconscious by banging her head into the ground!

Oh yeah, that's why you were glad you didn't have to deal with Juniper. Damn.

Juniper:

[wis: 1-2]

You can't find any good holes to stick your head in, so you decide to make a hole in the ground. To do this, you start repeatedly banging your head against the ground in the hopes of creating a hole.

[end: 2]

[Juniper has passed out!]
[Juniper has sustained a minor head injury!]

Saevire:

[str: 6]

Rearing your fist back, you clock the bisected man square in the jaw with a devastating uppercut! The force of your blow lifts him off the ground slightly before he collapses into a heap, before he falls unconscious.

[end: 4]

Gods above though, that really hurt!

Gasozein:

Unfortunately, Saevire just beat the shit out of the fellow before you could begin questioning him. You try to shake him to get him to wake up.

[dex: 3]
[? will: 3 + ?]

"...wha?"

He promptly falls unconscious again.

1v1 me m8

Boogaloos

The Boogaloos are adherents of the pseudoscientific religiou order of the Boogaloo, most notable for their crusades against "impure" humans, i.e. all mutants, those with [Clockwork Enhancements], or any others who could be considered not completely human.

When dealing with "pure" humans the Boogaloos are known to be quite amiable, eager to share their religious texts and scientific findings. The Boogaloos are responsible for spreading the [Assualt of the Sun] theory, helping man understand many advanced mathematical principles, and bringing various artifacts from the [Pre-collapse Era] to major hubs of civilization.

The sources of these findings are unknown, but it is rumored that the Boogaloos know what they do and recover what they can because they dare to breach the surface.

The origin of the name "Boogaloo" is similarly unknown and rumored to be connected to the Boogaloos' interest in, and possible presence on the surface.

T. H. Inman

EDIT: I should really proofread before I post