271
Play With Your Buddies / Re: Let's Unify Wales (CKII)
« on: February 28, 2016, 07:11:28 pm »The Dubiously Competent Adventures of King Anarawd
It is 24 March, 890. My newest vassal, Duke Tewdwr and my lovely brother have just sent me this nice letter.
I tell them to get stuffed. Also, my other daughter also wants to kill my son and heir. Sigh.
Right. These rebels have 1500 men, abouts. On a good day I have 1100. I have 59 gold for mercs. I'm doomed.
BUT WAIT! I HAVE SONS OF ABRAHAM!
That means I can be horribly racist and borrow 300 gold from Jewish people!
I use the cash to hire the wonderful Swiss Band. I then tell everyone to congregate in Ireland.
With the mercs, I have 2688 soldiers to his 1476. He makes for the capital city of Powys. We follow him.
I listen to a town crier and gain 1 diplomacy. I'm still at negative 1. Great.
The Battle of Mathrafal is joined. The war hinges on a victory here and now.
Their right flank collapses in the Skirmish phase. They're boned.
Their center collapses and the left flank is almost gone.
The Battle of Mathrafal is a smashing success, with massive casualties for the enemy and but a few on our side. We march on the rebel capital. The remains of their army begin a siege of Cornwall in the south. I'm not worried, we'll deal with them soon.
On the home front, Rhodri's youngest bastard comes of age. I order him to take the vows.
We seize the enemy capital, but Cornwall is at is breaking point. I send my men to trap the rebel forces in the peninsula and reclaim the territory. As I crush the last remnants of Tewdwr's army, a jewish guy shows up at my court. I let him stay, what's the harm.
Ahhh. Tewdwr has a mere 655 soldiers left. Not even enough for sieges. We march back to Gwent to siege him more.
What he has left is somehow able to siege our capital. Sigh.
We now hold the City of Newport. Tewdwr has a mere 481 soldiers now. Warscore is at 99% and the bastard won't give up. Fine then. I march back to Gwent for SIEGES! YAY! FUNTIMES! HAHAHA-no. Not fun. Not fun at all.
After a few days the warscore ticks over to 100 and he accepts my peace offer. Namely, I throw him in the Oubliette, people mock him, and then people talk about how great I am. At least that's how I interpret prestige gain/loss. I also throw my annoying little brother in the Oubliette to die. Ah, the Oubliette! Are there problems it can't solve?
I slap a couple of Vikings and Leinster becomes Welsh. That was fast. That's all for a little while, folks!
It is Christmas Day, 891.
PROGRESS TODAY: Slapped revolt. 7/8 counties to De Facto unified Wales, but I have a truce with that ass. 0 diplomacy instead of negatives.
STATUS:
Cash: 49
Prestige: 1158
Piety: 220
Ruler age: 41
Heir age: 15, and betrothed to fat German Karling woman with no skill above 8. Mihangel, I am so, so sorry.
Vassals: All good, except for the two guys in prison, Mayor Dickhead (I have a cunning plan to kill him next war, btw), and 2 bishops, because they're a different kind of Celtic than me and I owe money to Jewish people, which is OBVIOUSLY heresy.
3 out of 4 of them send tax to the Pope, 1 sends tax to me.
