Bay 12 Games Forum

put me on the waitlist for the meatgrinder pls

Done and done!

Bumping for Failbird.

Spotted in the high trees, and with a first victory already so close to bear, the ambassador known as Jon Benjamin stretches his legs a little as he stares down at Kevin and the injured Kai with hatred in his eyes. He puts his hands to either side of his mouth and calls down a loud "Don't struggle!" before he squats down, prepared for an acrobatic leap downwards. [8+2 (Gymnastics and Acrobatics)] Dexterously, he leaps off his branch, only to grab it and vault off to a lower one, before leaping down ever lower. Kai, with his one good eye, and his brother with two perfectly fine ones, see him reach about half-way down the tree, before he leaps off to a closer one, and then leaps from that right towards Kai, his stun gun in hand and fire in his soul. [3 v 4] With a crackle between the prongs, Jon flies towards Kai. Still, the crippled canoeist can see Jon coming, and rolls deftly out of the way before scrambling to his shaky feet. [9+2 (Gymnastics and Acrobatics)] Still, Jon manages to land into a roll, which he ends on his free hand and a single knee. Looking up at Kai from his lowered position, he sheathes the stun gun and quickly flicks his wrist, brandishing a fearsome blade as he leaps to a sprint towards Kai. [2 v 8] He raises his hand up and delivers on a downward slash, but it's one Kai narrowly dodges, making sure to focus on Jon as he does. Jon then reaches forward, aiming to grab his throwing knife and pull it out of Kai's socket. [6 v 2] He manages to wraps his fingers around the hilt and quickly yank it out, spraying blood and humours across the snowbank and causing Kai to yell in pain.

In a sea of dreary black, Hannah can see only visions. Their child, a miracle soldier, staring down a fleet of fearsome horrors from the stars with nothing but their crew, their party, their friends behind them. Mass Relays shooting ships across the stars. Red blood under alien skies. [Consciousness: 4-2 (Pain and Injuries)] With a gurgle, Hannah in the waking world shifts a little, but is unable to wake up. Still, her Ogre is still operational, and while still blind to the world, is fully capable of blasting the now-audibly spooked horse in it's mad gallop. [7-2 (Blind) v 1] With a volley of three more plasma rounds, it aims ahead of where Jasper is madly vaulting, and while one of the shots misses, this is enough. The first shot that hits burns through Jasper's right front leg, disconnecting it at the knee in a grisly display of blue sparks and equine blood, while the seconds hits higher, right at Jasper's head. There is only a loud yelp of agony before his head bursts apart, sending the Valkyrie flying through a sea of gore and viscera. [Balance: 5] The Valkyrie tumbles across the snowbank, but manages to keep herself from being injured further. Looking up, she can see Jasper's mangled body tumble through the air from his momentum, the end of her mount's short life.

From the darkest recesses of his soul, Johnny Cash can only stare at the burning drow with nothing short of joy. The ghastly orange flames are entrancing, enticing, beautiful. More beautiful than his own songs, surely, or at least that's where he mind drifts to. Still, the flame of the ancestry doesn't actually end the fight, Vavil seeming immune to it's amazing capabilities of destruction. Once Vavil makes it back to his knees with a maniacal laugh, a small sliver of that deeply rooted euphoria fades, replaced with a clear rage. If the Elf thinks a little fire will stop Johnny Cash, he has another thing coming. "Buddy, we're both funny men. But I'm hilarious," he starts, grinning wryly as he raises the mace once more. But then, his face morphs into an expression of anger and pain, though still with a smirk darting across visage. "WHILE YOU'RE A JOKE!" [10 v 5-2 (Crippled Left Side)] Trying his best to avoid the scorching flames, Johnny lunges towards Vavil, who attempts to lunge himself towards Cash. But Johnny strikes first, swinging his mace wildly at Vavil's head, slamming right into his jaw with a ghastly crack, breaking several teeth [Consciousness: 10-2 (Pain)] but only serving to make Vavil angrier. [Medical: 3-2 (Pain)] Still, it's enough to send him back down to the ground, huffing, if still ablaze and with a slight chuckle. Cash frowns and swings downwards at prone Dark Elf. [10 v 2-2 (Injuries)] With one last ghastly laugh, Vavil rolls over and looks back up just in time to see the mace's head careen towards his head. With a crack and a snap, the blow caves his skull in and damages his brain stem, killing him instantly and dissipating the Ancestor's Wrath. [4 v 2] Before it fades, Cash entered it's range, and it manages to burn the left side of his face, scarring his cheek. Still, with it gone, Cash swings again and again, until he's sure the Dark Elf is well and truly gone.
Vavil has been Clubbed to Death! Johnny Cash gets:
https://yakuza.fandom.com/wiki/Tojo_Clan_Headquarters: +Katana
Slinging to Johnny Cash's waist is a shiny, new sword made straight from Japan. Putting away his mace, he unlatches it, with the sheath bearing the logo of the Tojo Clan, and when unsheathed, the blade is marked by a shiny silver.

With a yell of agony, the canoeist Stand-user named Kai Müller stumbles backward, holding a hand over his blinded right away and swaying slightly from the shock of it all. Still, he has the wherewithal to look to his brother Kevin and shout a command to him, yelling "Touch the stone Kevin! Keep them off me for a second!" as he makes a break for the Mage Stone. Kevin, nodding, makes his own break for the closer Warrior Stone, and touches it, imbuing his life force to it. A surge of martial energy courses through him, and as he draws his paddle, a lot of the fear fades from his mind. (+2 to Melee Attacks and Defenses against Melee). He runs towards Jon, aiming to strike at him and ensure his brother makes it to the stone. [1+2 (Warrior Stone) v 10] He swipes towards Jon's chest, but the paddle is parried quickly by the gauntlet claw, pushing Kevin back. Kai lunges forward, touching the Mage's Stone and feeling it's own energy spark across him, a warm feeling of Arcane might. (Learns spells from Skyrim and can unlock new spells the more you train. Starting Spells: Flames, Sparks, Frostbite, and Healing.) Kai looks back, and as Under World is called behind him, he swirls a blue and gold energy across his hands. With the gold Healing spell, he stems the bleeding of his own, and with the other, Frostbite, he casts a stream of ice towards Jon. [9 v 9] Jon looks back, and deftly leaps over the stream of ice, rolling away from it after a short hop and landing just fine away from it. But then, Under World leaps out, and strikes the earth. [10 v 2] Suddenly, tunneling out of the snowbank, is the memory of a gasping, pained Viking warrior. He lets out a yell of agony, just as an arrow suddenly launches through his chest, and straight into Jon's behind him. The arrow lodges into a rib, snapping it to pieces and leaving behind the full arrowhead pierced into his torso.

The Valkyrie, seeing Jasper's body finally collapse onto the ground, clenches her fist and closes her eyes, before steeling herself. It was time for revenge, and the hour is upon the spacewoman like it was for Jasper. She stands up, and rushes towards Hannah with a yell, catching the Ogre's attention once more. [1-2 (Blind) v 6] It fires wildly off-course, blasting trees apart yards away from The Valkyrie. She draws her Spear, and as she reaches Hannah Shepard, she stabs down towards the comatose combatant. [5 v 3-3 (Unconscious)] Her first spear strike impales into Hannah's gut, spewing blood outward, while she aims a second blow towards her head. [10 v 8-8 (Unconscious)] The spear strikes through her skull and pierces her brain, killing her instantly with a final gurgle and a twitch from her lifeless body. With no valid Ally to shunt her soul into, Hannah Shepard dies, and her Ogre Mech shuts down.
The Valkyrie has secured her glory! She gets:
https://sonic.fandom.com/wiki/Disruptor_(Archie): +Disruptor
In a new holster at the Valkyrie's waist, there lies a new ranged weapon. A small, white energy blaster. Unholstering it, she inspects it with steely eyes, before returning it to it's sheathe.

As the time shift, Noon becomes Afternoon, and the snow somehow becomes heavier.
Time Change: Afternoon, Blizzard, 650 BCE

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BSN: Welcome back!
First and foremost, Fluffe and Zultan, if you have any disputes with the rulings behind your death, feel free to voice them! Otherwise, I hope you'll consider hopping on the waitlist and playing again.
Secondly, I'm sorry for taking so long! I have ADHD, sure, but I also just psyched myself out. I made engaging with creative projects feel like work, which crippled my enthusiasm. Oddly, what made me realize fun should be fun again was Space Station 13, so if ever more delays happen, just remind me to play more Paradise Station, I guess? XD
In any case, I look forward to your responses, and I can't wait to update this, Virtual Mortality, and the Spacebattles WW more in the future!

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Thank you all so much for your patience! The turn is still a bit away, but I'm definitely going to be working on it soon!

Turn progress is certainly going, but in the time between posts, I had an idea:

I'm adding two new mechanics to this, Valhalla, and any other Wiki-Warfares I produce in the future!

Quests and Random Encounters.
Quests are self-explanatory: they are global world events with an objective that, when completed, will give the winning player(s) an article and, in score-based gamemodes, a point.

Previously, encounters during a match were dictated by Spot Checks, Additional character sheet details, and storyline consequences. While all three still exist, I am adding the idea of Random Encounters. Per my whims and a dice roll, you will be able to run into NPCs, weapon caches, events of intrigue, abandoned mounts and vehicles, and more! Some of these may even create Quests for additional bonuses!

Let me know what you think!

Despite the tangled web of wood splinters that now encompasses the southern side of her shield, in spite of the cold wind exacerbating the pain of her burned midriff and the hole within across her stomach, and in contrast to Jasper the horse's spooked gait as he still gallops towards the half-crocodilian Rear Admiral before them, The Valkyrie grins as she raises her spear up, ready to finish off the wounded figure. She twirls the weapon outward so the blade is pointed at Hannah Shepard, and as the Valkyrie hoists her arm back, she exclaims one more thing: "Now, you fall!" [9 v 10-2 (Pain)] Out of pure reflex, Hannah rears her free hand back as a cloud of static and green flame overwhelms the green, scaly flesh. The hand reaches about to her face before the bladed tip of the Valkyrie's spear suddenly plunges through her palm and out the back, interrupting the ironically interruption-themed attack as blood speckles her cheek. Before she can react, the Valkyrie growls and pulls the spear away as she and Jasper ride away, ready to circle back around for another strike, hopefully the final blow.

As they properly step foot on the snowbank, parking the canoe properly for a quick getaway should the need arise, Kai Müller's face lights up as he sees the familiar trio of standing stones, perfectly placed in the white puff of ground like a tree in the dirt. "What interesting stones we've found, Kevin! Very Skyrim, ja. You check them out, I'll set-up my telescope." Kevin gives a quick thumbs-up and walks over to the Stones, while Kai unpacks his telescope. Planting the three legs into the ground, Kai adjusts the sights on the lens and takes a quick peek up through at the sky. The cloudy noon sky looks ever more dreary up-close. Maybe this really is the end of the world. Kevin pipes up from Kai's left, next to the Warrior Stone. "Come on, I have an idea!" he responds. Kai sets the telescope back to a neutral position and looks around at the nearby area. [Spot: 6] Nothing seems amiss, save for the sound of branches moving from the winds. Kevin waves Kai over. "Thinking about our situation, Bruder, these have to be the actual Standing Stones. We can imbue ourselves with them. So, I could grab one and you can grab the other. It leaves one for our enemies, but we should be powerful enough to counteract it, I think."

Blood. Crimson, sticky, flowing freely from the chest of a country star with a newly fresh grudge. Johnny Cash bites back another of his free-flowing insults as he can feel his life-essence spray out from a three-pronged blade just inches from his right lung; he now has a time limit, a strict one, and if past strategy means anything, his opponent loves a good fire-trick. But how is one to breathe fire, or indeed at all, when their own lungs are compromised? As the one-armed Dark Elf grits his teeth at the comparatively less-severe bruising on the surface of his stomach's skin, Cash grinds his boots back across the snow. [10 v 1] Suddenly, with a roar of Arkansas rage, Cash prepares one more Rampart as he sprints towards Vavil. Smirking, Vavil prepares to dodge, only to be blindsided by Cash suddenly kicking a wad of snow into his face. Startled, Vavil reacts instinctively, yelling as his right hand moves up to try and remove the snow from his eyes, only for Cash to connect, for the first time, with Rampart. A massive, concussive shield bash strikes right in the chest, snapping several ribs instantly and cracking most of the others. Launched back onto, well, his back, Vavil struggles to breathe. [Medical: 7] Fortunately, judging from the lack of blood shooting up his throat, none of those snapped ribs punctured his lungs or heart, but the pressure is certainly built on them as deep breaths cause nothing but pain. Cash smirks, and raises his mace up, pointing right at the chest. [3 v 5-2 (Pain)] Just in time, Vavil manages a pathetic roll out of the way, laying on his chest as inches away, the head of the mace connects with the snow.

Coughing up blood, filling her mouth with the taste of iron as cold steel leaves her hand, Hannah tries to stand up [Medical: 2-2 (Pain)] only to find the agony too much to bear. The combination of blood and air building in her lung cavity from the javelin doesn't help. Short of breath, Hannah collapses prone to the ground [Consciousness: 3-2 (Pain)] and slips into unconsciousness, though she is fortunately still alive and can wake up. Extra-fortunately, the Ogre Mech, though still blind, is still functioning and is able to track the sound of the galloping hooves. Firing a three-round burst blindly, the last thing Hannah sees before her vision fades black [7-2 (Blind) v 3] is one of those shots connecting against Jasper's right flank, blasting through the horse's thick musculature. In the land of the awake, Jasper yells out in pain and begins wobbling hard [Control: 6], just barely allowing The Valkyrie to cling on, though Jasper's being spooked means it's harder to stop him or control her own aim (-2 to dismounting Jasper and Attack Rolls made on Jasper, unless he can be calmed down.)

Rolling his eyes and sighing out his disapproval at the lack of results, Ambassador Jon Benjamin can make only one true reply: "Bah." Still, ever vigilant, he begins making his way North, still climbing the trees [Gymnastics: 6+2] with ease as he, much like a spider-monkey, hops from branch to branch. After a few minutes moving North, he takes a closer look at his surroundings. [Spot: 8] Finally, he sees them. His gifts, treasures, power: the Standing Stones. Warrior, Mage, Thief, all close to his grasp. Or, rather, closest to the grasp of a German Wiki-Warrior and his brother, reaching forward to examine them closer. [Stealth: 8] With the grace and the shadows behind him, Jon gets closer, to a better angle, seeing Kai examine the markings of the Warrior Stone with curious, beady eyes. That won't pass, as Jon unsheathes just one of his three remaining throwing knives, and aims it right at Kai's head. [10+2 (Stealth) v 6] Right as Kai's eyes leave the stone, they peer at the treeline, only to catch a knife already too close. Kai fails to react before the blade whips straight into his right eye, splitting it apart. Kai collapses to the ground and yells in agony as he points towards Jon's rough position for Kevin to examine. [Spot vs. Stealth: 5 v 2] The crisp suit now contrasts with the dark corners of the treeline, exposing Jon right before their eyes.

Coughing roughly and struggling to breathe much at all, Vavil lolls his head in Johnny Cash's direction after the mace makes contact, and just laughs. Taken aback, Johnny Cash raises his mace up, but doesn't yet strike again. "Well, now, funny man. Tell me," Cash says with a scowl. "What the hell's so funny this time?" Still laughing, Vavil's eyes lazily roll up to meet Cash's own. "Nothi'-(cough, cough), just...wondering...you sure like...to dance cl-...close...to the fire, don't you?" [1 v 5] Vavil, too enthralled in pain to think, lazily throws his broken arm out to brush against Cash's leg. Johnny Cash smirks, but Vavil lets out a more ominous laugh. "Then burn...in Oblivion...with me." [10 v 10] Suddenly, Vavil's body ignites in the aura of his Ancestor's Wrath, a melee-ranged cloak of flame that doesn't harm him, but does harm everything he touches. Just before he can be burned, Johnny Cash jumps back away from him. On his right, shaky arm, [Medical: 10-2 (Pain)] Vavil somehow moves himself up onto his knees, which is exemplary in his condition, and just laughs and laughs. "Who's the funny man, now?"

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BSN: I really hope this site isn't weighted, lol. That is...a lot of tens!
Anyway, hope you enjoyed the turn, sorry for the wait.

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Sorry for the lack of updates! Turns out, January was packed. And then I got sick. I'm still a little stuffy and cough-y. I do still want to continue this, and I hope you'll join me in it, it might just take a little longer. I kinda got blindsided by some activity elsewhere.