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Messages - Nilbert

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16
DF General Discussion / Re: Where on Earth would a fortress thrive?
« on: January 20, 2017, 06:50:11 pm »
Any coal?  or.... magma?

Not much to burn otherwise, although saguaro wood is a type of wood in the wood list. 

Honestly, if you got magma, Arizona would be my choice for a fort.  Very few trees and no running water = awesome FPS

17
DF General Discussion / Re: What Would Urist Do?
« on: January 20, 2017, 06:37:46 pm »
Go back/forward in time, get stuck in a tree, and die from dehydration.

WWUD if he got into battle with a dalek?

18
DF General Discussion / Re: Dwarves have no booze. Halp!
« on: January 20, 2017, 06:25:01 pm »
If ThisFox's suggestions don't work, check to make sure that Urist McBrewer really isn't an elf wearing a fake beard.

To check this, I have found that a retracting bridge and magma works well.

19
DF General Discussion / Re: Where on Earth would a fortress thrive?
« on: January 20, 2017, 06:20:55 pm »
Urist McNilbert, Overseer                                                                                                                    Ponders Scholarship!

20
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What to do with a murderous goblin mayor with no preferences?
« on: January 20, 2017, 06:04:20 pm »
Indeed, it is a work of art and will be ohhhhh soooo much fun!!!! 

Bad news, though, I think it has scared off the ol' gobbies and elves.  Two years have passed and not even a buzzard has shown up.  Word must be out.  Madam Mayor is truly a terrifying killing machine with absolutely no sense of mercy or compassion a good negotiator with elves and goblins and sometimes comes on a little strong in conversation. 

And happy B-Day Dunamisdeos!  Indeed, it was your inspiration that led to Madam Mayor's visitor's center.

21
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Am I taverning wrong?
« on: January 20, 2017, 08:09:16 am »
I have a question for this thread.

I have recently posted bouncers to my taverns, you know just in case.  They stand in the bar and look tough for the most part.

That said, this has given me an idea and an all important question.  Do military dwarves listen to poetry, dance, sing, etc. when posted to defend within a tavern and/or get any leisure out of poetry, dancing, singing, etc. of the patrons? 

If they do, I think every fort needs a toga squad.  Equipped with just a toga, they are assigned to defend a tavern burrow.  If there are flasks and backpacks, they will even bring their own booze and snacks to the party.  And they will stay at the party as long as you want them too!

If military dwarves don't get any leisure out of it, then there is a perfect alternative.  Draft a squad of 12 to 15 year old boy dwarves.  Assign them a cloth shirt/tunic, cloth vest, cloth coat, cloth trousers, cloth socks, and leather shoes.  Make sure there are no flasks or backpacks available so they don't carry food or drink.  Next, assign a burrow along one wall of the tavern and assign the squad to it.  Next, draft a squad of 12 to 15 year old girls.  Assign them a cloth or silk dress and leather shoes.  Again, make sure no flasks or backpacks available.  Make a burrow along opposite wall from the boys burrow and assign the girl squad to it.  It is important that there are plenty of tiles between the two walls so that no one wanders from one burrow to the next.  Sure, it might not be a toga party, but who doesn't have such fond memories of junior high dances?

22
DF General Discussion / Re: Where on Earth would a fortress thrive?
« on: January 20, 2017, 07:45:19 am »
Quote from: Salmeuk on January 20, 2017, 02:42:05 am
TBH I'm not surprised this thread derailed in record time, nor am I surprised that discussion of dangerous Aussie fauna was the culprit. . .

Salmeuk, we haven't derailed.  We have just been engaged in "Ponder Biome!" and "Discuss Biome!"  A masterful work written on a mosquito parchment quire will be the result.  Just give us a few years and a few barrels of dwarvish wine.

23
DF General Discussion / Re: Where on Earth would a fortress thrive?
« on: January 19, 2017, 06:12:15 pm »
Don't think I'd ever lift a rock in Arizona...  My uncle and aunt retired in Arizona years ago and had a lot of stories of scorpions getting into their house

Guess I'm fine with the ol' swamp 'squitors.

24
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What to do with a murderous goblin mayor with no preferences?
« on: January 19, 2017, 06:07:17 pm »



Madam Mayor's visitor's center is complete.  A retracting bridge from the entrance to Stabcaves is two z-levels above the DF.  The gold statues in the visitor's room are grotesque statues of horribly violent slayings by the Mayor works of art.  The statue room is to the north with an exit for the Mayor that opens only if the mayor needs to meet visitors who prefer to stay outside.  To the south is the liaison meeting room.  The iron door only opens once a year to let the liaison in.  The dwarf stationed on the south side of the iron bars is to make sure nothing horrible happens to the liaison keep an eye on the gold furniture.  To the east are the Mayor's living quarters, complete with training area, a comprehensive set of masterpiece weapons, dining area, and, yes, a small pack of war dogs (more to come; I haven't had the luck in getting a breeding pair).  Then there is the bed room.

Once some visitors come, I will update with a new image and let you know how it goes.

25
DF General Discussion / Re: Where on Earth would a fortress thrive?
« on: January 19, 2017, 05:45:42 pm »
Quote from: Thisfox on January 19, 2017, 04:44:41 pm

Oh, yeah, well... Newcastle is home to the largest biting mosquito in the world, or so we are informed. It's called the Hexham Grey, and you can keep it out of your house using chicken wire. I have. It has stripes down its flank, grey and black, and a very loud buzz.

....Then there's the snakes. I met a 3 metre diamond python in the house two days before Christmas. I let it be: If it's in the house, there's less King Browns, Tigers, and Redbelly Blacksnakes in the house. I know what I want.

....Then there's the only venomous mammal in the world, found in rivers all up and down the East Coast..... The duck billed platypus.


Ummm... yikes.  Where I live in the Midwest USA (aka, swampy farming country), our mosquitos are like ninjas.  They strike at night, are hard to see, and leave a big welt when they are done.  I suppose I prefer not seeing my predator before it attacks.  That said, they are only one of many annoying biting insects that attack constantly from June to September.

As for snakes, I have no words.  Our 'worst' one is a bull snake... it is big enough to eat a mouse.  Our most common snakes are only big enough to eat insects.  Needless to say, I like the reptiles.  Not sure how I'd feel if they were poisonous...

Didn't know that the platypus was poisonous.  My only experience with a platypus is reading the "Little Wombat" series to my kids when they were littler.  Guessing that wasn't a truly factual representation :)

26
DF General Discussion / Re: Where on Earth would a fortress thrive?
« on: January 19, 2017, 01:19:45 pm »
Surely Kalamazoo fits into the category of mountainhome (Bell's Brewery), so I'd say aye.

27
DF General Discussion / Re: Where on Earth would a fortress thrive?
« on: January 19, 2017, 10:57:45 am »
Quote from: Asin on January 19, 2017, 09:17:37 am
Well, I come from the Lower Pennisula.
What does that make me?

DF worlds don't have bridges or ferries across major bodies of water yet, so I'm not sure how Lower Peninsula folks fit in.

28
DF General Discussion / Re: Where on Earth would a fortress thrive?
« on: January 19, 2017, 08:36:11 am »
For the States, I think we missed the obvious.  Northeastern Wisconsin and the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  They actually may already be settled by dwarves.  Some reasons:

1.  Rich in minerals, particularly iron.  Supplied a lot of US steel production with ore.
2.  Rather hilly and wooded.  Means plenty of good embark locations and fuel for the smelters.
3.  Very important, enormous quantities of alcohol are consumed by locals.  Highest per capita in States I believe.
4.  They tend to eat foods that other Americans would consider odd and perhaps gross.  Does anyone really know what is in a pastie?  I say, nay nay.
5.  Locals tend not to work months at a time and spend that time in a bar or tavern.  Debatable if they go home to sleep ever.
6.  It is obvious that the biome is a DF biome.  They have large predatory flying creatures that are capable of attacking and hurting small locals dwarven children and carrying away provisions.  They call them mosquitos (and yes, they are visible from a distance and travel in the billions).  Also plenty of less annoying animals, bears and the like.

Now the less obvious questions, who then are the humans, elves and goblins?  That depends on who you'd ask I suppose, eh?  There are Canadians to the north, Minnesotans to the west, and Chicagoans to the south...  I have an inkling who the humans and goblins are, but find it hard to see a Canadian as an elf.

29
DF General Discussion / Re: Where on Earth would a fortress thrive?
« on: January 18, 2017, 06:20:17 pm »
Quote from: Urist McVoyager on January 18, 2017, 05:37:56 pm
The goblins would prefer one of the various Hellmouths that exist in the real world. There's Youtube videos dedicated to listing all of them off.

I believe cross referencing the Hellmouth locations with the World Banks index of corruption will provide the ideal goblin locations.

30
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« on: January 18, 2017, 04:54:06 pm »
Dear Urist McGreenTrails,

You along with all other non-essential dwarves have been assigned outside construction duties to assist our Madam Mayor in building a new visitors center.  You have been given your duty for over a year, and all of your fellow dwarves have taken to their work happily.  They are all used to the harsh sunlight while you seem to have just seen the light for the first time.  Yes, I know it is harsh and you did feel the strong need to listen to bad poetry, but did you really have to volunteer to carry the last block into the visitor's center?  Do you know that this is to be a show place for Madam Mayor?  I wish to inform you that Madam Mayor is not pleased with the disgusting trail that you left that cannot be cleaned up as the visitors center is directly underneath the new retracting visitors entrance.  I also wish to remind you of Madam Mayor's short temper.  Do you not remember what happened to your cousin twenty years ago when she was standing too close to Madam Mayor?  That's right.  Speared to death for just standing in Madam Mayor's personal space.  Please consider yourself lucky, and this your first and last warning.  Any additional lapses in judgement means that you will assist Madam Mayor in welcoming our next visitors.

Sincerely,

Your Overly Generous Overseer

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