April 23, 2024: Dwarf Fortress 50.13 has been released.
News: February 3, 2024: The February '24 Report is up.
News: February 4, 2021: Dwarf Fortress Talk #28 has been posted.
News: November 21, 2018: A new Threetoe story has been posted.
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Grow a new leg through mutation. Eat all of the aligator's legs.INIT: [15], [14]
Current status: Head --> Desk
Get in there myself and stop the fighting!
Try to ride Gladush to flee from militia and find the plump helmet men and recruit them.
If I fail to flee, keep trying to recruit the militia with Gladush.
Have Big Plump start sporadically making new Plump Helmet Man while I tell Lumbert Plump and Bob to do there own thing. Also award Purple the medal of Plump Helmet Man Bravery and EspionageINIT: [15], [17], [11], [13]
(Anyway your welcome random but if anybody asks it wasn't me)
Reprogram the stored nanomachines from my non-murderous super cyborgs to override the nanomachines of the murderous super cyborgs to turn the murderous super cyborgs to the non-murderous ones,[4] YOU'RE TRYING TO OVERRIDE THE NANOMACHINES OF THE OTHER SUPER-CYBORGS TO MAKE THEM PEACEFUL! USING YOUR CREATOR'S POWERS, YOU MAKE A HALF OF THE SUPER-CYBORGS PEACEFUL!
also develop a hidden blade but instead of a blade its a syringe, which can be fired, thats in my hand that will be able to inject nanomachines, into someone, or something
(That's a lot of murderous in one sentence)
while sleeping accidentally abandon your body and posses one of the cloning scientists.[6] MERCEDES' SOUL/ESSENCE/WHATEVER LEAVES THE BODY AND POSSESS A (FEMALE) CLONING SCIENTIST, KICKING THE SOUL OF THE SCIENTIST OUT!
highlight suitable for Claire weapon on hud, if there is one around
Connect to satellite network and rain tactical nukes on supercyborgs
[1] THE HIGHLIGHTED WEAPON IS A ROTTEN BRANCH, COVERED IN A RADIOACTIVE MIX OF SNOW AND ASH! YOU STILL TAKE IT!highlight suitable for Claire weapon on hud, if there is one around
Connect to satellite network and rain tactical nukes on supercyborgs
Take this weapon. Assist in finishing off the super cyborgs. After the battle is over, use the suit to interface with the remains of one of the cyborgs. Search this cyborg's data banks for information regarding my family.
Kill the scavengers that are stealing my fuel with the hunting rifle or my bear hands.INIT: [11], [14]
"SHIT BABE, IT'S NOT SAFE HERE! GET BACK TO THE SPIRE, OVER THAT WAY!""SORRY, MY DEAR ARISTOTLE, BUT I HAVE TO HELP YOU!" SAID YOUR WAIFU!
>SAY THE ABOVE TO BELOVED WAIFU WHILST CONTINUING TO DODGE OPPONENT'S ATTACKS
ALSO, TRY TO KEEP SAID OPPONENT BETWEEN ME AND SCAVENGERS ARMED WITH RANGED WEAPONS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
THEN FEINT TO THE RIGHT, THEN AT THE LAST MOMENT SURPRISE HER (ENEMY FIGHTER, NOT WAIFU) WITH VICIOUS LEFT-SIDE KICK/STRIKE TO THE HEAD. AIM TO JUST STUN/KO INSTEAD OF BRUTALLY KILLING HER LIKE I DID THE OTHERS, SINCE I RESPECT HONOURABLE HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT AN ALL THAT SHIZ
>WHETHER OR NOT I MANAGE TO DEFEAT OPPONENT, IT IS THEN TIME FOR TACTICAL RETREAT BACK TO THE SPIRE BEFORE ENEMY REINFORCEMENTS ARRIVE. MAKE SURE MAI WAIFU NOT GET LOST/HARMED ALONG WAY. GRAB ANY CONVENIENT LOOT ON MY WAY OUT, ALSO ATTEMPT TO CAPTURE MARTIAL ARTIST SCAVENGER UNLESS THAT WAY TOO MANY ACTIONS ALREADY I GUESS. THEN JUST FOCUS ON GETTING ME AND WAIFU OUT ALIVE.
LEAD TOWNFOLK TO RETURN FIRE! FOCUS THE ROCKET LAUNCHERS.INIT: [19], [13]
Begin constructing a simple town between the Badassia entrance and my fortess[1] "MY QUEEN, I'M SORRY FOR NOT SAYING IT EARLIER, BUT WE'RE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING A REVOLT IN BADASSIA! A TRAITOR CALLED BLATT HAS PERSUADED A FORGOTTEN BEAST, GLADUSH RONURIST, TO ACCEPT THE IDEALS OF DEMOCRACY! IF WE DON'T DEAL WITH THE BEAST, IT'LL KILL COUNTLESS OF YOUR SUBJECTS AND IT'LL FIND ITS WAY ON THE SURFACE!" SAYS YOUR ROYAL STEWARD!
"MY SUBJECTS, YOUR QUEEN HAS RETURNED TO DECLARE THAT OUR LAND SHALL EXPAND ACROSS THE SURFACE AS WELL... also I live up here now."
Stop the fighting! Stop the fighting!
There is no need for this! We can work out a peaceful solution!
Vomit radioactive waste and disolve the handcuffs on my legs. Attemp to climb on Gladush again and flee to where the plump helmet men are, trying to recruit them into democracy. If I fail to free myself, have Gladush fight the militia and try to convince them to join democracy to win time.
((Unlike the others, Blatt is a big mutant cockroach, not a human-cockroach hybrid.))
Start sporadically making more Plump Helmet Man after I thank Bob, Lumbert, Plump, and Big Plump. Then have them do there own thing while I send Purple on a secret mission to free Blatt[1] KING REGENT SCREAMS IN THE INTERCOM, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THE COMMUNICATION SYSTEM IS GLITCHY RIGHT NOW! THE INTERCOM'S OUTPUT IS, "KILL THIS FOUL BEAST!"
(Wow didn't expect that to work pleasantly surprised btw how many plump helmet man and non plump helmet man (everybody else) are in Badassia atm lol)
Don't try to break the handcuffs just kick the guards to death my objective is in sight.[1] YOU CANNOT WAKE UP! YOU HAVE TO ROLL YET AGAIN FOR WAKING UP IF YOU WANT TO FIGHT!
Convince the mutant alligators that I am one of them and we were born to rule the world.[3 VS 6] "YOU DON'T HAVE SCALES, HAIRY RODENT! YOU'LL NOT RULE OVER US, MEGA-ALLIGATORS! YOU'LL MAKE A GOOD SNACK, AT LEAST!"
APOLOGISE TO MIGHTY QUEEN FOR TEMPORARY ABSENCE[5] YOUR ROACH SENSES TELL YOU THAT THE SCAVENGERS ARE FROM A RELATIVELY SMALL OUTPOST TO THE SOUTH!
INSPECT DEAD SCAVENGERS USING MY HEIGHTENED ROACH SENSES OR SOME SHIT AND DETERMINE WHICH WAY THEY CAME FROM (IF THEY NOT CARRYING MUCH SUPPLIES THEY CLEARLY NOT BASED FAR AWAY) AND GO RAID THEIR BASE FOR FLOUR, TAKING SOME OF THEIR LIMBS, GORE AND ENTRAILS WITH ME TO USE AS TOPPINGS IN CASE NOTHING ELSE AVAILABLE
PREFERABLY USE NINJA SKILLS TO STEALTHILY ENTER THEIR STOCKPILES AND MAKE PIZZA, BUT OTHERWISE JUST HAVE TO KILL ANYONE GUARDING IT I GUESS. USE BLOOD 'N' GUTS IN LIEU OF TOMATO PASTE ON PIZZA BASE, UNLESS I CAN FIND ACTUAL TOMATO PASTE IN THEIR SUPPLIES I GUESS. TOP THE PIZZA W/ BITS OF DEAD PEOPLE AND RAW INTESTINE SAUSAGES, OR, EVEN BETTER, ACTUAL VEG PIZZA TOPPINGS IF I FIND ANY SUCH THINGS EITHER THERE OR ON THE WAY. COOK PIZZA... AT ALL COSTS.
Thank GigaGiant for help also, while i still have time before more of them come back, retry the thing with changing the eye colour
Thank GigaGiant for help also, while i still have time before more of them come back, retry the thing with changing the eye colourTell PaPaj he's welcome and ask him (and anyone else nearby) if he knows of any lost families missing a mother. Describe my family and ask if he's seen them.
PLAY BATTLEHYMN OF REPUBLIC REALLY LOUD[5] JACK SUCCESSFULLY CHANGES THE EYE COLOR OF THE SUPER-CYBORGS! EVIL SUPER-CYBORGS HAVE A RED EYE, THE FREE ONES HAVE A BLUE ONE, AND YOU HAVE A GREEN EYE!
Look around inside and outside my cave and make sure my pickup is still near by.[6] BILLY JOBOB'S PICKUP IS STILL ON ITS PLACE, BUT IT SEEMS THAT SOME SCAVENGERS ARE STEALING PICKUP'S FUEL!
MAKE BETTER VOCAL CHORDS[5] VIRGINIA GROWS NEW AND MUCH BETTER VOCAL CHORDS, ALLOWING HEAR TO SPEAK ENGLISH AGAIN! VIRGINIA IS NO LONGER MUTE
TELL ROSEHEART THAT SENTRY DUTY GREAT HONOR,"UNDERSTOOD! I GUESs I SHOULD ADDRESS YOU AS "SIR" FROM NOW ON?" ASKED ROSEHEART.
POST HSR TO SENTRY WITH 11 OTHER CITIZENS. THE REST WILL PLAY "HOW TO BE PATRIOT", FUN BRAINSTORMING GAME. ALL CITIZENS ARMED, AS TO BE READY.
Actually tried to help in the Crusades.Spoiler (click to show/hide)
((The doctor has the ball, not the astronaut.))
Capture the Overseer locking herself with me was a bad idea.INIT: [18], [13]
Try and communicate with the fire elemental that got summoned earlier.[1] YOUR GRIZZLY (PUN INTENDED) MUTANT VOICE SCARES THE FIRE ELEMENTAL AWAY! IT FLOATS AWAY FROM THE CAVE INTO THE SNOWING VIRGINIA WASTELAND!
Get up, try to punch the enemies again
inject buffout
INIT: [19], [10], [6]Get up, try to punch the enemies again
Continue to assist.
Erm, ok, we calmed down Gladush...
Um...
Now what?
Let's try to get Gladush to be a productive member of society.
Ride awesome forgotten beast steed, attemp to teach the militia about democracy and recruit them in my army. Lead them into battle against the mutant queen that doesn't even speak the same language.GLADUSH RONURIST DOESN'T CARE ABOUT BEING PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY! IT SERVED BLATT, THE DEMOCRATIC REBEL!
develope speech[1] YOU CHANT SOMETHING IN MUTANTESE, BUT YOU DAMAGE YOUR VOCAL CHORDS IN PROCESS! NOW YOU CAN'T EVEN GROWL!
Have Purple Lumbert Plump and Big Plump dig me a damp room to reproduce in while I go check on Bob.[5] LUMBERT PLUMP AND BIG PLUMP HAVE SUCCESSFULLY DUG OUT A LARGE PIT WHERE PLUMP HELMET MEN CAN BREED!
(Man my luck sucks jesus also be aware glass that gladish is democratic now and your kind of the current temp king lol)
Cry. Yell again.[6] AFTER SOME CRYING, YOU UNLEASH A VERY LOUD YELL! UNFORTUNATELY, THE ONLY ONES WHO HEARD THE YELL ARE MUTANT ALLIGATORS!
HELP DIG OUT MORE ROOMS, ADD GRENADE BLOCKERS IN FRONT OF EACH ENTRANCE. WE WILL NOT BE GRENADED AGAIN![5] YOU DIG OUT MORE ROOMS AND ADD GRENADE BLOCKERS, ALONG WITH OTHER FORTIFICATIONS! THE PEOPLE ARE PRETTY HAPPY, BUT THEY WOULD LIKE TO HAVE SOME ENTERTAINMENT, SO THAT THEY CAN BATTLE STRESS!
OH SHIT TOO MUCH GOING ON AT ONCE[2] THEY CARRY NO FLOUR, UNFORTUNATELY!
>LOOT FLOUR FROM DEAD SCAVENGERS (THEY WASTELAND SURVIVORS, SURELY HAVE SUPPLIES ON THEM... FAILING THAT JUST USE IRRADIATED DUST AND SPIDER SILK I GUESS), THEN HOLLOW OUT ONE OF THEY SKULLS TO USE AS MIXING BOWL FOR DOUGH
MIGHT AS WELL EAT THEIR BRAIN WHILE I'M AT IT, POSSIBLY GAIN IMPROVED COOKING SKILLZ FROM THEIR MEMORIES
CRAFT MASTERWORK PIZZA BASE
AND OF COURSE, DEFEND QUEEN FROM ALL ATTACKS WITH BADASS ROACH-FU. EVEN IF THEY INTERRUPT MY PIZZA-MAKING
