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« on: September 25, 2017, 11:49:06 pm »
Lately I've been struggling with my feelings about come to terms with the fact that I'll most likley never see the person I realized I'd fallen in love with in high school, because timing was bad and I've never had a way to propperly contact them. Yet it eats at me too often, I beat myself up over not compromising myself just to gain time to at least build a working relationship. I could have pourpose fully failed a course and gotten enough time to at least network, but choose not to.
I could've visited the area sooner but I was too embarrassed, I feel feel horrible about not even really getting a chance at any kind of closure, heck if I had worked out the timing a little better I could've asked some of my other friends to act as intermediaries, but I suppose it was too confident in my ability to deal with everything on my own at the time to ask for help.
In short I've come to the conclusion that I'll probably never see this person again and I'll probably never end up knowing how I felt about them, how do I let go of all of that?