Bay 12 Games Forum

6

You close your eyes and pretend it's not happening. The Time Geese then apparently decide to see if the frankly rather ill-concieved space vessel you're on will actually work, given that modern rocket technology has been replaced by attempts to achieve escape velocity through centrifugal force. Naturally, nobody actually wants to risk their lives on the massive brick sphere designed to be hurled into space by a dynamo, so nobody gets on, and you're left undisturbed.

Unbelievably, instead of slicing the vessel in half, or breaking free and rolling away across the country, the dynamo actually picks up the brick spaceship you're in and launches it into space. Somehow, the change in velocity doesn't break it or you, and you soar away into a nice low orbit. So now you're in an airtight brick sphere with plentiful supplies of water, food and oxygen, in space. Is that Alt-F4 enough?

Yes.

I decided to do a run of Synthetik, using my favorite class (and the one I'm the best at), the Raider. The first few rooms were pretty standard for Synthetik; in about the third or fourth one, I find a shop selling the Nemesis Prototype - a legendary sniper rifle, and an overpowered one at that. (fun fact: it was originally meant to be the only weapon in Synthetik, but eventually other weapons were added) The first boss was easy; I just had to hack a terminal while defending myself from progressively stronger enemies, which ended with a tank (which died with a fair amount of shots from my Nemesis), and by the fifth or sixth room, my Nemesis Prototype was fully upgraded, with all 4 attachment slots filled. The second boss was easy; it was a large plane which focused on spamming projectiles. Fortunately, after using my air com + plasma grenade, followed by a few shots from my Nemesis, it went down easily. Room ~9 was the first room in the third floor; the Virtual Reality Chambers; which was hell, for one main reason, and also the reason that I died; THE FUCKING MORTAR TURRETS ON THIS FLOOR ARE PRETTY MUCH UNAVOIDABLE. The Chrono Troopers, Crystal Chargers, 12.7mm turrets (which are sniper turrets on every other floor, but on this floor, they're green chain lightning crystals on top of black pillars), etc were reasonable, but I don't know what the fuck was going through the dev team's mind when they designed the mortar turrets for the VR chambers.

>As the time geese overrun my position, contemplate what bullshit happened that lead to this, while praying that Gandalf the gray, and Gandalf the white
And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight
And Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie
And Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie
Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader
Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan
all come out of nowhere, lightning fast, and kick all the time geese in their chronofuckery asses

>Find spaceship(s) with enough combined crew capacity for my entire militia, hijack them if necessary, and turn my militia into a space-faring fleet and my personal army. Fuck this shit, we're out. Earth is quite literally going to hell and back, so it's best that we fuck off at the earliest available opportunity.

>Melt down the pots and pans into molten metal, before pouring said metal into moulds for roughly torso-sized armor plates, to make an improvised armor vest. If I have leftover metal, then making shoulderpads wouldn't hurt.

Gotta be armored for a crusade.

>Walk on everything resembling a mine.