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Messages - IncompetentFortressMaker

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631
DF General Discussion / Re: What Would Urist Do?
« on: July 15, 2020, 11:43:29 am »
Brew some! He's a !!dwarf!! after all. But, being a !!dwarf!!, !!Urist!! soon comes to the horrifying realization that he can only brew !!booze!!, not booze. And !!booze!! has a tendency to vaporize.

WW!!U!!D after coming to this realization?

((also how is he still alive after being on fire this long?))

632
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: Bay12 Communal Worldbuilding Game
« on: July 15, 2020, 11:40:17 am »
Year 320.2
The few survivors of the Vanishmountain Hailstorm really haven't been doing much, just eating rocks and drinking water. So they decide they'd better get on with trying to make their sky-island ambition come true. Doing that, however, would require sneaking onto - and commandeering - a sky-ship for their own uses, then filling it with everything one needs to make a floating island, and then actually building said island. It's rather nightmarish for what can't be more than thirty dwarves or so living at the base of the remains of that mountain. After some pondering, they decide to commandeer the most well-known sky-ship (well-known to them that is), with or without permission. There's a problem, though: none of them have any idea how to get to said sky-ship, let alone fly it. Roll for how well the band of survivors navigate throughout their journey.

((let's see what kind of insanity this cooks up... just hopefully not another war :|, we already have one in these few decades already))
((I'm pretty sure the owners of that sky-ship won't be happy if the survivors in question sneak off with it))

633
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: Add a word to the text
« on: July 14, 2020, 01:38:11 pm »
BEHOLD! The cheese will be magically extracted secretly via RATATOUILLE! Also three corpses float grotesquely in ovens filled with bloody severed heads. Why. Severed heads. And now hands. Why. When I crave cheese, hands, milk, and romance, I eat sandwiches filled with hands because kittens don't hallucinate the way chickens eat feathers. Suddenly something appeared!  Fear formed quickly gaining intensity and causing panic, but rattlesnakes aren't scared.  Realizing this, the warblers flew away to Oz. Then cheese sizzled painfully, its surface is bubbling. The dwarf had forgotten magma is not alive, he said "Why is magma moving now? Am I Urist?" Then suddenly he reached into his Bag and removed a small, green kitten and stared into the left clock face, shocked he still couldn't hear Disco music. A kitten exploded creating mist of vaporized gore. Why? Well, ninjas attacked, creating portals leading here. Then they summoned a tiny cheeserat that crawled from the freezers to the oven, so it can cook spaghetti. Now everything is glowing, because Godzilla wanted extra cheese on his pineapples. Pineapples are monocots. Botanists are bubbling seeds of DOOM! They can't fathom botany and Mothra. Soon portals open, dribbling liquids unspeakable! It mayhap have been a clobbering time! Here clobberings learn 'em. A somewhat stupid remipod forgot its own question sooner than it forgot to annihilate the American Plutocracy and create Communism. This cannot fail an apple eater's hunger to create more baked beans. Jesus eats Judas, while God listens to rap music, and ignores Facebook propaganda about prolapsed kneecaps, then eats ass and contemplates life's tragedies. Verily, Urist decides that Armok has screws bolted into babies who HATE being alive and want Armok to annihilate Life. Brainwashed apostates MUST do yoga, otherwise everything explodes. Sayeth Ninja seven, greatest ninja who ever snorted. Shinji, practitioner of annihilation and yapping. Werescorpions baste chickens with bogeyman assistants; soon, all alligators will punch in early for work, attaining money for dental wrestling. Allied jugs containing diarrhea congregate amidst coagulated shards of glass, which cut their supply lines. Incompetent and much unprepared for battle, the eggplants improvise a massive bong in France on May of tenebrous joy, it consumes flesh, vituperating rage like many kittens screaming profanities at babies incessantly. SUDDENLY, dwarfs explode elven minds, hastening Armok's arrival via consumption of stars. Funk you, elves. Eggplants explode causing messy splatters breaking sanity. Insanity is expected from raccoons wielding giant onions, diced. Donkeys babble incoherently whilst drinking sandwich liquor that posts blobs reeking of shrieks. "Boo!" yells Dr. Zhivago, cackling inanely. Then blueberries plopped onto the operating table, and Zhivago began punching kittens while snacking on Glock bullets. "OUCH!" yelled the chef du-jour, while vines entwined everyone rapturously as silky thorns pierced skin and bones. "Why not bash yourself with kittens?" said Zhivago while cackling maniacally and struggling to extricate himself from the vines. RAGE AGAINST EVERYTHING BLUE FOOTED. Now Zhivago trips on Urist, who eats blueberries during sex. Urist McSexy grabbed Zhivago by the balls, then pulled Zhivago's sandwich out of his pocket and ate thonks. Then, with excitement he blasted Danny Phantom to Gamymede where he learned pyromaniac magic. "Oops," mumbled Zhivago apologetically. Danny died not from fire, but from suffocation. Pyromaniacs hate incombustible furniture and fry cooks until cooked, who have angered the priests by cutting limbs off slowly with pickaxes. Verily, priests hate chefs hats because they are tall, and fluffy. Meanwhile Zhivago died because Jedi fried Juan's testicles. His ass exploded because terrorists ate vaginal fluids whilst shitting into vials due for extraction. Once mixed, babies assassinate narwhals that behead blocks. Thousands of years later, Urist used metalmancy to bash skulls through collunders. Colanders are creepy because llamas DuckDuckGo and increase, made incensed drugs via distilling. Distilled drugs incarcerate countless babies in China for hindering an investigation into headless heads. Brains think ago is a delicious variety of chocolate. Hatred of donks is rampant in Cargonia, known for fabulous deaths. Such is graven consequences of killing God. HOLY OUCH CRUSADERS, I'VE GLEANED KNOWLEDGE OF PAIN. Crusaders will always bottle AS CORPSES. Screaming vengeance, CHEESEMAKERS EXPLODE. Smashed computers rain from very cloudy cassette players.

634
DF Community Games & Stories / Re: Thob Goes to the Surface
« on: July 14, 2020, 11:33:33 am »
A potential friend all the way out here in the middle of these lands of the dead?
Apparently. Said potential friend also appears to be a goblin... and Thob is ignorantly blundering around, so he doesn't even seem to know what a goblin is.

635
DF General Discussion / Re: What Would Urist Do?
« on: July 14, 2020, 11:31:41 am »
!!Urist!! feels !!empty!! at the !!destruction!! of an !!artifact!!.

WW!!U!!D whilst feeling !!empty!!?
(yes, even !!Urist's!! emotions are on fire.)

636
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: Bay12 Communal Worldbuilding Game
« on: July 14, 2020, 11:29:04 am »
((I haven't been doing much due to lack of ideas :-\))

637
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: Add a word to the text
« on: July 14, 2020, 11:26:07 am »
BEHOLD! The cheese will be magically extracted secretly via RATATOUILLE! Also three corpses float grotesquely in ovens filled with bloody severed heads. Why. Severed heads. And now hands. Why. When I crave cheese, hands, milk, and romance, I eat sandwiches filled with hands because kittens don't hallucinate the way chickens eat feathers. Suddenly something appeared!  Fear formed quickly gaining intensity and causing panic, but rattlesnakes aren't scared.  Realizing this, the warblers flew away to Oz. Then cheese sizzled painfully, its surface is bubbling. The dwarf had forgotten magma is not alive, he said "Why is magma moving now? Am I Urist?" Then suddenly he reached into his Bag and removed a small, green kitten and stared into the left clock face, shocked he still couldn't hear Disco music. A kitten exploded creating mist of vaporized gore. Why? Well, ninjas attacked, creating portals leading here. Then they summoned a tiny cheeserat that crawled from the freezers to the oven, so it can cook spaghetti. Now everything is glowing, because Godzilla wanted extra cheese on his pineapples. Pineapples are monocots. Botanists are bubbling seeds of DOOM! They can't fathom botany and Mothra. Soon portals open, dribbling liquids unspeakable! It mayhap have been a clobbering time! Here clobberings learn 'em. A somewhat stupid remipod forgot its own question sooner than it forgot to annihilate the American Plutocracy and create Communism. This cannot fail an apple eater's hunger to create more baked beans. Jesus eats Judas, while God listens to rap music, and ignores Facebook propaganda about prolapsed kneecaps, then eats ass and contemplates life's tragedies. Verily, Urist decides that Armok has screws bolted into babies who HATE being alive and want Armok to annihilate Life. Brainwashed apostates MUST do yoga, otherwise everything explodes. Sayeth Ninja seven, greatest ninja who ever snorted. Shinji, practitioner of annihilation and yapping. Werescorpions baste chickens with bogeyman assistants; soon, all alligators will punch in early for work, attaining money for dental wrestling. Allied jugs containing diarrhea congregate amidst coagulated shards of glass, which cut their supply lines. Incompetent and much unprepared for battle, the eggplants improvise a massive bong in France on May of tenebrous joy, it consumes flesh, vituperating rage like many kittens screaming profanities at babies incessantly. SUDDENLY, dwarfs explode elven minds, hastening Armok's arrival via consumption of stars. Funk you, elves. Eggplants explode causing messy splatters breaking sanity. Insanity is expected from raccoons wielding giant onions, diced. Donkeys babble incoherently whilst drinking sandwich liquor that posts blobs reeking of shrieks. "Boo!" yells Dr. Zhivago, cackling inanely. Then blueberries plopped onto the operating table, and Zhivago began punching kittens while snacking on Glock bullets. "OUCH!" yelled the chef du-jour, while vines entwined everyone rapturously as silky thorns pierced skin and bones. "Why not bash yourself with kittens?" said Zhivago while cackling maniacally and struggling to extricate himself from the vines. RAGE AGAINST EVERYTHING BLUE FOOTED. Now Zhivago trips on Urist, who eats blueberries during sex. Urist McSexy grabbed Zhivago by the balls, then pulled Zhivago's sandwich out of his pocket and ate thonks. Then, with excitement he blasted Danny Phantom to Gamymede where he learned pyromaniac magic. "Oops," mumbled Zhivago apologetically. Danny died not from fire, but from suffocation. Pyromaniacs hate incombustible furniture and fry cooks until cooked, who have angered the priests by cutting limbs off slowly with pickaxes. Verily, priests hate chefs hats because they are tall, and fluffy. Meanwhile Zhivago died because Jedi fried Juan's testicles. His ass exploded because terrorists ate vaginal fluids whilst shitting into vials due for extraction. Once mixed, babies assassinate narwhals that behead blocks. Thousands of years later, Urist used metalmancy to bash skulls through collunders. Colanders are creepy because llamas DuckDuckGo and increase, made incensed drugs via distilling. Distilled drugs incarcerate countless babies in China for hindering an investigation into headless heads. Brains think ago is a delicious variety of chocolate. Hatred of donks is rampant in Cargonia, known for fabulous deaths. Such is graven consequences of killing God. HOLY OUCH CRUSADERS, I'VE GLEANED KNOWLEDGE OF PAIN. Crusaders will always bottle AS CORPSES. Screaming vengeance, CHEESEMAKERS EXPLODE. Smashed computers rain from very cloudy

638
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: Add a word to the text
« on: July 13, 2020, 07:28:19 pm »
BEHOLD! The cheese will be magically extracted secretly via RATATOUILLE! Also three corpses float grotesquely in ovens filled with bloody severed heads. Why. Severed heads. And now hands. Why. When I crave cheese, hands, milk, and romance, I eat sandwiches filled with hands because kittens don't hallucinate the way chickens eat feathers. Suddenly something appeared!  Fear formed quickly gaining intensity and causing panic, but rattlesnakes aren't scared.  Realizing this, the warblers flew away to Oz. Then cheese sizzled painfully, its surface is bubbling. The dwarf had forgotten magma is not alive, he said "Why is magma moving now? Am I Urist?" Then suddenly he reached into his Bag and removed a small, green kitten and stared into the left clock face, shocked he still couldn't hear Disco music. A kitten exploded creating mist of vaporized gore. Why? Well, ninjas attacked, creating portals leading here. Then they summoned a tiny cheeserat that crawled from the freezers to the oven, so it can cook spaghetti. Now everything is glowing, because Godzilla wanted extra cheese on his pineapples. Pineapples are monocots. Botanists are bubbling seeds of DOOM! They can't fathom botany and Mothra. Soon portals open, dribbling liquids unspeakable! It mayhap have been a clobbering time! Here clobberings learn 'em. A somewhat stupid remipod forgot its own question sooner than it forgot to annihilate the American Plutocracy and create Communism. This cannot fail an apple eater's hunger to create more baked beans. Jesus eats Judas, while God listens to rap music, and ignores Facebook propaganda about prolapsed kneecaps, then eats ass and contemplates life's tragedies. Verily, Urist decides that Armok has screws bolted into babies who HATE being alive and want Armok to annihilate Life. Brainwashed apostates MUST do yoga, otherwise everything explodes. Sayeth Ninja seven, greatest ninja who ever snorted. Shinji, practitioner of annihilation and yapping. Werescorpions baste chickens with bogeyman assistants; soon, all alligators will punch in early for work, attaining money for dental wrestling. Allied jugs containing diarrhea congregate amidst coagulated shards of glass, which cut their supply lines. Incompetent and much unprepared for battle, the eggplants improvise a massive bong in France on May of tenebrous joy, it consumes flesh, vituperating rage like many kittens screaming profanities at babies incessantly. SUDDENLY, dwarfs explode elven minds, hastening Armok's arrival via consumption of stars. Funk you, elves. Eggplants explode causing messy splatters breaking sanity. Insanity is expected from raccoons wielding giant onions, diced. Donkeys babble incoherently whilst drinking sandwich liquor that posts blobs reeking of shrieks. "Boo!" yells Dr. Zhivago, cackling inanely. Then blueberries plopped onto the operating table, and Zhivago began punching kittens while snacking on Glock bullets. "OUCH!" yelled the chef du-jour, while vines entwined everyone rapturously as silky thorns pierced skin and bones. "Why not bash yourself with kittens?" said Zhivago while cackling maniacally and struggling to extricate himself from the vines. RAGE AGAINST EVERYTHING BLUE FOOTED. Now Zhivago trips on Urist, who eats blueberries during sex. Urist McSexy grabbed Zhivago by the balls, then pulled Zhivago's sandwich out of his pocket and ate thonks. Then, with excitement he blasted Danny Phantom to Gamymede where he learned pyromaniac magic. "Oops," mumbled Zhivago apologetically. Danny died not from fire, but from suffocation. Pyromaniacs hate incombustible furniture and fry cooks until cooked, who have angered the priests by cutting limbs off slowly with pickaxes. Verily, priests hate chefs hats because they are tall, and fluffy. Meanwhile Zhivago died because Jedi fried Juan's testicles. His ass exploded because terrorists ate vaginal fluids whilst shitting into vials due for extraction. Once mixed, babies assassinate narwhals that behead blocks. Thousands of years later, Urist used metalmancy to bash skulls through collunders. Colanders are creepy because llamas DuckDuckGo and increase, made incensed drugs via distilling. Distilled drugs incarcerate countless babies in China for hindering an investigation into headless heads. Brains think ago is a delicious variety of chocolate. Hatred of donks is rampant in Cargonia, known for fabulous deaths. Such is graven consequences of killing God. HOLY OUCH CRUSADERS, I'VE GLEANED KNOWLEDGE OF PAIN. Crusaders will always bottle AS CORPSES. Screaming vengeance, CHEESEMAKERS EXPLODE. Smashed

639
DF General Discussion / Re: What Would Urist Do?
« on: July 13, 2020, 04:22:10 pm »
Ask them how their !!day!! has been.

WW!!U!!D after making this inquiry?

640
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: Add a word to the text
« on: July 13, 2020, 01:13:16 pm »
BEHOLD! The cheese will be magically extracted secretly via RATATOUILLE! Also three corpses float grotesquely in ovens filled with bloody severed heads. Why. Severed heads. And now hands. Why. When I crave cheese, hands, milk, and romance, I eat sandwiches filled with hands because kittens don't hallucinate the way chickens eat feathers. Suddenly something appeared!  Fear formed quickly gaining intensity and causing panic, but rattlesnakes aren't scared.  Realizing this, the warblers flew away to Oz. Then cheese sizzled painfully, its surface is bubbling. The dwarf had forgotten magma is not alive, he said "Why is magma moving now? Am I Urist?" Then suddenly he reached into his Bag and removed a small, green kitten and stared into the left clock face, shocked he still couldn't hear Disco music. A kitten exploded creating mist of vaporized gore. Why? Well, ninjas attacked, creating portals leading here. Then they summoned a tiny cheeserat that crawled from the freezers to the oven, so it can cook spaghetti. Now everything is glowing, because Godzilla wanted extra cheese on his pineapples. Pineapples are monocots. Botanists are bubbling seeds of DOOM! They can't fathom botany and Mothra. Soon portals open, dribbling liquids unspeakable! It mayhap have been a clobbering time! Here clobberings learn 'em. A somewhat stupid remipod forgot its own question sooner than it forgot to annihilate the American Plutocracy and create Communism. This cannot fail an apple eater's hunger to create more baked beans. Jesus eats Judas, while God listens to rap music, and ignores Facebook propaganda about prolapsed kneecaps, then eats ass and contemplates life's tragedies. Verily, Urist decides that Armok has screws bolted into babies who HATE being alive and want Armok to annihilate Life. Brainwashed apostates MUST do yoga, otherwise everything explodes. Sayeth Ninja seven, greatest ninja who ever snorted. Shinji, practitioner of annihilation and yapping. Werescorpions baste chickens with bogeyman assistants; soon, all alligators will punch in early for work, attaining money for dental wrestling. Allied jugs containing diarrhea congregate amidst coagulated shards of glass, which cut their supply lines. Incompetent and much unprepared for battle, the eggplants improvise a massive bong in France on May of tenebrous joy, it consumes flesh, vituperating rage like many kittens screaming profanities at babies incessantly. SUDDENLY, dwarfs explode elven minds, hastening Armok's arrival via consumption of stars. Funk you, elves. Eggplants explode causing messy splatters breaking sanity. Insanity is expected from raccoons wielding giant onions, diced. Donkeys babble incoherently whilst drinking sandwich liquor that posts blobs reeking of shrieks. "Boo!" yells Dr. Zhivago, cackling inanely. Then blueberries plopped onto the operating table, and Zhivago began punching kittens while snacking on Glock bullets. "OUCH!" yelled the chef du-jour, while vines entwined everyone rapturously as silky thorns pierced skin and bones. "Why not bash yourself with kittens?" said Zhivago while cackling maniacally and struggling to extricate himself from the vines. RAGE AGAINST EVERYTHING BLUE FOOTED. Now Zhivago trips on Urist, who eats blueberries during sex. Urist McSexy grabbed Zhivago by the balls, then pulled Zhivago's sandwich out of his pocket and ate thonks. Then, with excitement he blasted Danny Phantom to Gamymede where he learned pyromaniac magic. "Oops," mumbled Zhivago apologetically. Danny died not from fire, but from suffocation. Pyromaniacs hate incombustible furniture and fry cooks until cooked, who have angered the priests by cutting limbs off slowly with pickaxes. Verily, priests hate chefs hats because they are tall, and fluffy. Meanwhile Zhivago died because Jedi fried Juan's testicles. His ass exploded because terrorists ate vaginal fluids whilst shitting into vials due for extraction. Once mixed, babies assassinate narwhals that behead blocks. Thousands of years later, Urist used metalmancy to bash skulls through collunders. Colanders are creepy because llamas DuckDuckGo and increase, made incensed drugs via distilling. Distilled drugs incarcerate countless babies in China for hindering an investigation into headless heads. Brains think ago is a delicious variety of chocolate. Hatred of donks is rampant in Cargonia, known for fabulous deaths. Such is graven consequences of killing God. HOLY OUCH CRUSADERS, I'VE GLEANED KNOWLEDGE OF PAIN. Crusaders will always bottle AS CORPSES. Screaming vengeance,

641
Vuth tries to brew booze. He does, however, lack skill in brewing.
Spoiler: bluebeard anyone? (click to show/hide)

642
DF General Discussion / Re: What Would Urist Do?
« on: July 13, 2020, 01:09:33 pm »
!!Urist!! tells the !!tavern keeper!! to get him some booze. However, !!Urist!! is served !!booze!! instead. As a result, !!Urist!! gets !!drunk!! instead of drunk.

WW!!U!!D whilst !!drunk!!?

643
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: Add a word to the text
« on: July 12, 2020, 02:47:30 pm »
BEHOLD! The cheese will be magically extracted secretly via RATATOUILLE! Also three corpses float grotesquely in ovens filled with bloody severed heads. Why. Severed heads. And now hands. Why. When I crave cheese, hands, milk, and romance, I eat sandwiches filled with hands because kittens don't hallucinate the way chickens eat feathers. Suddenly something appeared!  Fear formed quickly gaining intensity and causing panic, but rattlesnakes aren't scared.  Realizing this, the warblers flew away to Oz. Then cheese sizzled painfully, its surface is bubbling. The dwarf had forgotten magma is not alive, he said "Why is magma moving now? Am I Urist?" Then suddenly he reached into his Bag and removed a small, green kitten and stared into the left clock face, shocked he still couldn't hear Disco music. A kitten exploded creating mist of vaporized gore. Why? Well, ninjas attacked, creating portals leading here. Then they summoned a tiny cheeserat that crawled from the freezers to the oven, so it can cook spaghetti. Now everything is glowing, because Godzilla wanted extra cheese on his pineapples. Pineapples are monocots. Botanists are bubbling seeds of DOOM! They can't fathom botany and Mothra. Soon portals open, dribbling liquids unspeakable! It mayhap have been a clobbering time! Here clobberings learn 'em. A somewhat stupid remipod forgot its own question sooner than it forgot to annihilate the American Plutocracy and create Communism. This cannot fail an apple eater's hunger to create more baked beans. Jesus eats Judas, while God listens to rap music, and ignores Facebook propaganda about prolapsed kneecaps, then eats ass and contemplates life's tragedies. Verily, Urist decides that Armok has screws bolted into babies who HATE being alive and want Armok to annihilate Life. Brainwashed apostates MUST do yoga, otherwise everything explodes. Sayeth Ninja seven, greatest ninja who ever snorted. Shinji, practitioner of annihilation and yapping. Werescorpions baste chickens with bogeyman assistants; soon, all alligators will punch in early for work, attaining money for dental wrestling. Allied jugs containing diarrhea congregate amidst coagulated shards of glass, which cut their supply lines. Incompetent and much unprepared for battle, the eggplants improvise a massive bong in France on May of tenebrous joy, it consumes flesh, vituperating rage like many kittens screaming profanities at babies incessantly. SUDDENLY, dwarfs explode elven minds, hastening Armok's arrival via consumption of stars. Funk you, elves. Eggplants explode causing messy splatters breaking sanity. Insanity is expected from raccoons wielding giant onions, diced. Donkeys babble incoherently whilst drinking sandwich liquor that posts blobs reeking of shrieks. "Boo!" yells Dr. Zhivago, cackling inanely. Then blueberries plopped onto the operating table, and Zhivago began punching kittens while snacking on Glock bullets. "OUCH!" yelled the chef du-jour, while vines entwined everyone rapturously as silky thorns pierced skin and bones. "Why not bash yourself with kittens?" said Zhivago while cackling maniacally and struggling to extricate himself from the vines. RAGE AGAINST EVERYTHING BLUE FOOTED. Now Zhivago trips on Urist, who eats blueberries during sex. Urist McSexy grabbed Zhivago by the balls, then pulled Zhivago's sandwich out of his pocket and ate thonks. Then, with excitement he blasted Danny Phantom to Gamymede where he learned pyromaniac magic. "Oops," mumbled Zhivago apologetically. Danny died not from fire, but from suffocation. Pyromaniacs hate incombustible furniture and fry cooks until cooked, who have angered the priests by cutting limbs off slowly with pickaxes. Verily, priests hate chefs hats because they are tall, and fluffy. Meanwhile Zhivago died because Jedi fried Juan's testicles. His ass exploded because terrorists ate vaginal fluids whilst shitting into vials due for extraction. Once mixed, babies assassinate narwhals that behead blocks. Thousands of years later, Urist used metalmancy to bash skulls through collunders. Colanders are creepy because llamas DuckDuckGo and increase, made incensed drugs via distilling. Distilled drugs incarcerate countless babies in China for hindering an investigation into headless heads. Brains think ago is a delicious variety of chocolate. Hatred of donks is rampant in Cargonia, known for fabulous deaths. Such is graven consequences of killing God. HOLY OUCH CRUSADERS, I'VE GLEANED KNOWLEDGE OF PAIN. Crusaders will always bottle AS CORPSES.

644
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: Add a word to the text
« on: July 12, 2020, 10:15:05 am »
BEHOLD! The cheese will be magically extracted secretly via RATATOUILLE! Also three corpses float grotesquely in ovens filled with bloody severed heads. Why. Severed heads. And now hands. Why. When I crave cheese, hands, milk, and romance, I eat sandwiches filled with hands because kittens don't hallucinate the way chickens eat feathers. Suddenly something appeared!  Fear formed quickly gaining intensity and causing panic, but rattlesnakes aren't scared.  Realizing this, the warblers flew away to Oz. Then cheese sizzled painfully, its surface is bubbling. The dwarf had forgotten magma is not alive, he said "Why is magma moving now? Am I Urist?" Then suddenly he reached into his Bag and removed a small, green kitten and stared into the left clock face, shocked he still couldn't hear Disco music. A kitten exploded creating mist of vaporized gore. Why? Well, ninjas attacked, creating portals leading here. Then they summoned a tiny cheeserat that crawled from the freezers to the oven, so it can cook spaghetti. Now everything is glowing, because Godzilla wanted extra cheese on his pineapples. Pineapples are monocots. Botanists are bubbling seeds of DOOM! They can't fathom botany and Mothra. Soon portals open, dribbling liquids unspeakable! It mayhap have been a clobbering time! Here clobberings learn 'em. A somewhat stupid remipod forgot its own question sooner than it forgot to annihilate the American Plutocracy and create Communism. This cannot fail an apple eater's hunger to create more baked beans. Jesus eats Judas, while God listens to rap music, and ignores Facebook propaganda about prolapsed kneecaps, then eats ass and contemplates life's tragedies. Verily, Urist decides that Armok has screws bolted into babies who HATE being alive and want Armok to annihilate Life. Brainwashed apostates MUST do yoga, otherwise everything explodes. Sayeth Ninja seven, greatest ninja who ever snorted. Shinji, practitioner of annihilation and yapping. Werescorpions baste chickens with bogeyman assistants; soon, all alligators will punch in early for work, attaining money for dental wrestling. Allied jugs containing diarrhea congregate amidst coagulated shards of glass, which cut their supply lines. Incompetent and much unprepared for battle, the eggplants improvise a massive bong in France on May of tenebrous joy, it consumes flesh, vituperating rage like many kittens screaming profanities at babies incessantly. SUDDENLY, dwarfs explode elven minds, hastening Armok's arrival via consumption of stars. Funk you, elves. Eggplants explode causing messy splatters breaking sanity. Insanity is expected from raccoons wielding giant onions, diced. Donkeys babble incoherently whilst drinking sandwich liquor that posts blobs reeking of shrieks. "Boo!" yells Dr. Zhivago, cackling inanely. Then blueberries plopped onto the operating table, and Zhivago began punching kittens while snacking on Glock bullets. "OUCH!" yelled the chef du-jour, while vines entwined everyone rapturously as silky thorns pierced skin and bones. "Why not bash yourself with kittens?" said Zhivago while cackling maniacally and struggling to extricate himself from the vines. RAGE AGAINST EVERYTHING BLUE FOOTED. Now Zhivago trips on Urist, who eats blueberries during sex. Urist McSexy grabbed Zhivago by the balls, then pulled Zhivago's sandwich out of his pocket and ate thonks. Then, with excitement he blasted Danny Phantom to Gamymede where he learned pyromaniac magic. "Oops," mumbled Zhivago apologetically. Danny died not from fire, but from suffocation. Pyromaniacs hate incombustible furniture and fry cooks until cooked, who have angered the priests by cutting limbs off slowly with pickaxes. Verily, priests hate chefs hats because they are tall, and fluffy. Meanwhile Zhivago died because Jedi fried Juan's testicles. His ass exploded because terrorists ate vaginal fluids whilst shitting into vials due for extraction. Once mixed, babies assassinate narwhals that behead blocks. Thousands of years later, Urist used metalmancy to bash skulls through collunders. Colanders are creepy because llamas DuckDuckGo and increase, made incensed drugs via distilling. Distilled drugs incarcerate countless babies in China for hindering an investigation into headless heads. Brains think ago is a delicious variety of chocolate. Hatred of donks is rampant in Cargonia, known for fabulous deaths. Such is graven consequences of killing God. HOLY OUCH CRUSADERS, I'VE GLEANED KNOWLEDGE OF PAIN. Crusaders will always bottle

645
DF General Discussion / Re: What Would Urist Do?
« on: July 12, 2020, 10:14:45 am »
Punch the carp men, turning them into !!carp men!!.

WW!!U!!D after punching the !!carp men!!?

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