Bay 12 Games Forum

I kinda broke myself starting around the middle of 2009, before then I didn't act how I am today at all.  I went from,

Everybody I see are U's all I see are U's.  I talk to the U's, they talk back, I eat %'s, all I see are %.  I wear ['s I wear ['sS>ss.sa;;asala  I eat, see, smell, feel, hear, and are embraced by DF. DF DF DF FD Dwarf fortress dwarf fortressss.  I am insane. I am insane.  All I see are letters!  All I see are letters!  They keep moving and blinking with green slashess!!!!  Green slashes march down the asile and spin they spin.  Hahahakka.  There is no game except for DF get away from me must typoeepe

I've never really been a people person, I'm friendly when pushed, but agh.  I'm severly depressed some days.  I wouldn't hurt anybody, but I have a real problem with feeling useless.  I have to do my best, no matter what.  Failure is not an option.  Seems like most people on Bay12 are perfectionist.  Same here.  I do my best in school and I get nothin'.  I'm top of my sophomore class and teachers praise me and yaddha yaddha, your going to be the best, I wish everybody in my class was you ToonyMan.  Lately though it's been weird.  Getting an A on the test is nothing special, I do this every time.  I work hard to get farther in life.  Now the problem is that some other kids don't see it that way.  They think (I presume) that they don't have to do anything!  This a community is not.  I do my best.  They do nothing.  I get an A, not even a smile anymore.  They get a B!!!!  And they have the nerve to be proud of it.  Oh lets throw a pizza party for this lazy mofo.  He sleeps for most of his classes, but he deserves it!  If I were to ever slip up...I feel crazy.

Hehe, "lazy mofo".  Ahem, anyway at this point I felt myself pivoting towards a more happy life.

I don't know what kinda magic it is, but being more carefree and relaxed is the answer.

Don't stress, don't care.  It's gonna be alright in the end.

Yesterday I remember being pulled out of class to one of the vice-principal type people.  I thought I was in some kinda trouble because there was this detention fiasco I've never mentioned before and don't feel like explaining.  Funny enough my worries were yet again proven wrong when it was pretty much just a praise speech which I'm highly modest about.  It was really great honesty, but I didn't say that.  I think I'm too polite now, we were playing basketball today and I bumped into someone.  Sounds pretty typical, but I muttered a sorry instinctively and he had a cheerful laugh over the fact.  Because having players apologizing to the opposing team does sound kinda ridiculous right?  Hehe.

Overall though the main theme of the meeting thing was how much I've changed since 9th grade, which I can kinda see myself.  I don't like judging myself, but I agree with it.  The only problem I have with my life right now are my parents (well, Mom and Step-Dad) and me trying to still figure out life.  I really want to smile everyday, I really do.  But that doesn't happen, I'm not going to pull some '09 ToonyMan bullshit and go "I'm crazy." or "I'm all alone."  'Cause I'm not, bitch.  I've got friends, all you've gotta do is be nice to people.  I'm serious, give some greetings and talk some.  If it turns out they're an asshole then they're an asshole!  They don't know how to live so don't bother with them.  If you're ever insulted just laugh it off, it doesn't matter man.  It's just a petty insult about something stupid like water melting.

My interest in science and math is at an all time low right now though, but it has been replaced with fiction.  Lovely lovely fiction of all kinds.  And my English grade is higher now, huzzah!

Lastly, I guess I'll mention today we had to fill out a 'superlative' thing for the Senior class.  There's like 20 different titles ranging from "Class Clown" to "Best Artist" to "Most Likely to Succeed".  The whole day was pretty much just kids running around with ideas for who would be who.  There's quite a bit of Seniors though (not enough to fill more than one page though!) and most surprisingly I was getting comments the whole day that they put me down for the "Most Likely to Succeed" thing, which is nice to hear.  I even gave them a thank you.  You're suppose to do that man.  Anyway, the whole thing was really cool and I had some fun.

Now I just have to smile and enjoy it.  I'm involving myself but I'm not really feeling it emotionally as much as I like or should be.

EDIT:
Oh, and fingers crossed if somebody actually replies to something serious I say.

Hehehe, it seems whenever a character dies off earlier than expected they always comes back for the final act.

Yay it's Tuesday, time to see what the newest Bleach is about.

-_-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml9hAN5km14

I love this youtuber.

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World?

I hate wheelchair guy.  He's cheap and he's not a lot of fun to play as either.  That's why I don't bother checking the fastest reply of a level, because instead of seeing some gnarly bike play I see an old fart fly across the top of the level at warp speed boringly.

Fat lady is kinda the same as well, moped couple would be cooler if you could control the blasted thing better.

My two favorites are father on the bike and segway guy.  <3 segway guy.

I saw this awhile ago, but might as well share it.  Drawing tips from the guy that does Lackadaisy.  Sure all his references are from anthropomorphic cats, but still.  Look at all those faces man.