BREAKING NEWS!
Baby steals taxi and runs over 20 nuns!
Today a baby was taken into custody when witnesses said, "He waved a taxi over and then suddenly drew a knife on the suspect. The baby forced the taxi driver out of the car, not before stabbing him and then high tailed out of there." "It was so fast and shocking I didn't even know what happened before it was too late." Says one witness.
The carnage didn't end there says police officers. "The baby then proceeded to the closest church and ran down all the nuns he could see." One of the surviving nuns says, "It was the most horrifying event I have ever experienced. I thought my time was up!" The baby killed 4 of the nuns and seriously injured the rest. The surviving nuns have stated that they will be pressing charges for all it's worth on the baby.
Finally, after the baby ran over the nuns he drove onto a local highway were he clocked at over 110 MPH! The baby lost control and fish-tailed into one of the concrete barriers. Unforgettably, the baby survived. Police surrounded the fugitive and hand-cuffed him. The baby had several broken bones and was missing a leg. Then police searched the taxi, pounds upon pounds of cocaine was found! The baby stated that it wasn't his, but that accuse was defiantly a lie. Continue reading this shocking story on pg 9!