Bay 12 Games Forum

Stupid real.  Having all of these responsibilities is depressing.  How do people go through life like this, grounded in reality during the week and desperately avoiding life on the weekends.  At least that's what I feel like I'm doing.  I feel inadequate while being productive and feel worthless when not.  My entire real career is a hoax.  I'm doing this as a front, a facade because it is what I am suppose to do.  The one topic people near me are proud of is the very thing I don't ever want to be.  I am not a compassionate student.  I am not a smart person.  I am confused and lost and everything hurts.  My third week is on-going currently for my second semester of college and while it is a completely different setting I am also managing myself quite well given who I was before.
Of course, on the first day I was nervous and stairs were hell because my legs shake under stress.  But after that my stomach was fine and there is no issue.  It is nothing.  I just now finished yet another English assignment, looked over some scholarships due next month, and now I plan to purchase a 99 cent drink at the store and study for the next Calculus II quiz.  But...there's nothing here.  I hate this.  I am just moving along doing things I don't even care about.
I wake up this morning.  It is painful.  I am not being hurt, but it is painful.  Oh great, another day to deal with.  There is very little to look forward to.  I amuse myself by being a cowardly dick (in my head) and trying desperately, anything to stimulate my mind in this dull, dull daily routine.  At least in my free time I am able to forget.  Completely ignore everything around me and absorb myself in what is wrong, what is incorrect, what is wasteful, weak, pathetic, pitiful.  I hold only disdain for myself and it is depressing.
Everybody around me is hurting.  My Father has not seen his daughter in months.  He calls me and it hurts.  It hurts a lot but I can't say anything.  I am going to go over his house (he's at his parents now) just to be around him.  It is my responsibility to seem him at least once a month.  I will need to bring my school work.
My parents, my Mom and Step-Dad hate each other.  I wake up to their screaming.  They lie and doubt each other, money is stolen.  Money is evil.  I live at my Grandmother's with them.  I get so mad at them for being so immature but I say nothing because I am weak.
My brother, my brother is sad and apathetic.  He's missed school this whole week so far, not moving from his bed.  In the morning I hear my Mother try to wake him up, he doesn't even respond.  Not a word.  All he does is curl up in his blanket further.  Hiding form the real.  When he is awake he responds to my greetings with groans and grunts.
Why is it like this.  Why must I feel uncomfortable and sad.  This is pathetic.
This summer I plan to work with my step-Dad at his job.  It's just manual labor but I won't have anything to do this summer anyway.  Just...hiding.  I am also going to get my Driver's license.  I applied for Work-Study for next semester too.  So I can work even more like this.
Yesterday before Spanish my closest friend in college right now made the observation that I am "always pissed off and lethargic".  He has known me since High School so I guess this was bound to happen I guess.  It's crazy how nice people are to me.  Is this just for public appearance or are they generally nice people or do they feel pity for me?  I can't imagine why anybody would.  I'm not even a nice person.  I'm just a coward who's afraid of being hurt.  I can't help but be hurt.  It's so sad.  Why is this so sad.

I never knew where Hussie got that line until I heard Otacon in MGS1.

Every single manga site has the same awkward-as-fuck translation of chapters 40+ in FMA. MangaFox, Bakoko, Manga Traders.
this is not how english works, and this is not how people speak it

I checked MangaUpdates.  Chapters 41, 42, and 43 have not been translated by any scanlator site on their list.  Chapter 44+ is back to normal scanlators.

This means some guy probably translated it (poorly) for a site like MangaFox to host.  MangaFox aren't a scanlator group so they're not listed on MU.  You will just have to deal with that garbage for three chapters unfortunately.  Fate/stay night's manga has the same issue, it's really sad.

Quote from: Tellemurius on January 30, 2012, 11:02:02 am

Hey Toony what was that manga?

Mirai Nikki.

I recommend that manga it's one of my first series I finished about a year ago.  The ending sucks though.

It will be fine as lone as i post this

Woah what is this?

EDIT:
The Mahoyo demo was translated.  It's not actually built into the game but you can read from it on the side or just read the pdf I guess.

Mangafox is nice. I always use it.

;_;  My heart feels light.

Comparisons are good.

Now look at this shit.

Now look at the bro sites.

Please go to Batoto or Manga-Access for reading online.

The type-setting and proof-reading is pretty poor in the first place but notice the JPEG artifacts from lowering the quality (Mangareader!!!) or the resolution is decreased instead as well (Mangafox and Mangahere).  If you're going to read online use a good site it's a lot nicer on the eyes and although I can't stop you from reading on sites like Mangafox and Mangareader I can at least put into your mind that there is better and scanlators have their requests ignored constantly because THEY(GREEDY HOSTING SHIT) like to reap profits from advertising thanks to having huge daily visit counts.  Ugh.

Seriously do you know how much money Mangafox/Mangareader/Manganow make?  It's sickening.

I find it easier to look for updates for the manga I read there, than any other site.

MangaUpdates doesn't have that name without a reason.  You can also use the search bar and it's always fast.

---

Oh, I was going to comment on Battle Royale since I finished it...but I have become sidetracked in an awkwardly passionate way.

Mangafox sucks ass.  Mangareader also sucks ass.  I die a little when people use them.

Use Batoto or Manga-Access for online sites.  Go to the scanlators sites from MangaUpdates or to BakaBT for completed series to download stuff.  Use MangaMeeya or HoneyView to read downloaded manga.

Here's FMA on MangaUpdates.

Happy readings.

EDIT:
Oh man Tower of God season 2 has started.  Yessssss  Also loads of new Kaiji chapters, yesssssssss again

Filling out my FAFSA for next school year.  Reading some of this stuff is kind of depressing.  I spent this entire page just saying no to all of this stuff.
"You may be homeless if you are living in shelters, parks, motels or cars, or temporarily living with other people because you have nowhere else to go. Also, if you are living in any of these situations and fleeing an abusive parent you may be considered homeless even if your parent would provide support and a place to live."

Actually just finished Hoshi no Samidare some time ago, reading it all in 2 days time. Needs more love...anime where?!? That's injustice I tell ya'.

Try out Sengoku Youko.  It's the newest work by the same mangaka and it's pretty good.  The one flaw is that IT HASN'T BEEN SCANLATED IN ABOUT A YEAR

I've estimated it takes me about an hour to two hours on average to read one volume of a manga which are usually around 200 pages.  So a nice 15 volumes long series (like Battle Royale) takes a substantial amount of time for me.  I can't categorize VNs and LNs as much thanks to them being random as hell.  Although normal sized VNs should never exceed 35 hours dammit.

Then again, if the manga is say something like...Bleach, then I could read a whole volume in 10 minutes or quite possibly faster.  Word count varies wildly and consumes most of my time.