Bay 12 Games Forum

Quote from: zemaj on March 31, 2023, 04:22:14 pm

But as I am better than ~70% on you being scum, I'm pretty sure people will let this silly idea that two people reading each other town and agreeing is utterly damning.  Sometimes, people just agree, dispite their better judgement.

Okay, well, that's a stupid reason to take an L, but whatever. I gave you a chance.

If you were paying attention you would've seen the cop only inspects on even nights so D2 will go without.

If it isn't you I think your most likely bet is ToonyMan and... IronyOwl, I guess. So, good luck with that. Looks like it won't be my problem.

Exactly, cop inspects tonight, gets scum (I hope), that influences D2 elimination.  That's how I understand it, anyway.

BEHOLD! The cheese will be magically extracted secretly via RATATOUILLE! Also three corpses float grotesquely in ovens filled with bloody severed heads. Why. Severed heads. And now hands. Why. When I crave cheese, hands, milk, and romance, I eat sandwiches filled with hands because kittens don't hallucinate the way chickens eat feathers. Suddenly something appeared!  Fear formed quickly gaining intensity and causing panic, but rattlesnakes aren't scared.  Realizing this, the warblers flew away to Oz. Then cheese sizzled painfully, its surface is bubbling. The dwarf had forgotten magma is not alive, he said "Why is magma moving now? Am I Urist?" Then suddenly he reached into his Bag and removed a small, green kitten and stared into the left clock face, shocked he still couldn't hear Disco music. A kitten exploded creating mist of vaporized gore. Why? Well, ninjas attacked, creating portals leading here. Then they summoned a tiny cheeserat that crawled from the freezers to the oven, so it can cook spaghetti. Now everything is glowing, because Godzilla wanted extra cheese on his pineapples. Pineapples are monocots. Botanists are bubbling seeds of DOOM! They can't fathom botany and Mothra. Soon portals open, dribbling liquids unspeakable! It mayhap have been a clobbering time! Here clobberings learn 'em. A somewhat stupid remipod forgot its own question sooner than it forgot to annihilate the American Plutocracy and create Communism. This cannot fail an apple eater's hunger to create more baked beans. Jesus eats Judas, while God listens to rap music, and ignores Facebook propaganda about prolapsed kneecaps, then eats ass and contemplates life's tragedies. Verily, Urist decides that Armok has screws bolted into babies who HATE being alive and want Armok to annihilate Life. Brainwashed apostates MUST do yoga, otherwise everything explodes. Sayeth Ninja seven, greatest ninja who ever snorted. Shinji, practitioner of annihilation and yapping. Werescorpions baste chickens with bogeyman assistants; soon, all alligators will punch in early for work, attaining money for dental wrestling. Allied jugs containing diarrhea congregate amidst coagulated shards of glass, which cut their supply lines. Incompetent and much unprepared for battle, the eggplants improvise a massive bong in France on May of tenebrous joy, it consumes flesh, vituperating rage like many kittens screaming profanities at babies incessantly. SUDDENLY, dwarfs explode elven minds, hastening Armok's arrival via consumption of stars. Funk you, elves. Eggplants explode causing messy splatters breaking sanity. Insanity is expected from raccoons wielding giant onions, diced. Donkeys babble incoherently whilst drinking sandwich liquor that posts blobs reeking of shrieks. "Boo!" yells Dr. Zhivago, cackling inanely. Then blueberries plopped onto the operating table, and Zhivago began punching kittens while snacking on Glock bullets. "OUCH!" yelled the chef du-jour, while vines entwined everyone rapturously as silky thorns pierced skin and bones. "Why not bash yourself with kittens?" said Zhivago while cackling maniacally and struggling to extricate himself from the vines. RAGE AGAINST EVERYTHING BLUE FOOTED. Now Zhivago trips on Urist, who eats blueberries during sex. Urist McSexy grabbed Zhivago by the balls, then pulled Zhivago's sandwich out of his pocket and ate thonks. Then, with excitement he blasted Danny Phantom to Gamymede where he learned pyromaniac magic. "Oops," mumbled Zhivago apologetically. Danny died not from fire, but from suffocation. Pyromaniacs hate incombustible furniture and fry cooks until cooked, who have angered the priests by cutting limbs off slowly with pickaxes. Verily, priests hate chefs hats because they are tall, and fluffy. Meanwhile Zhivago died because Jedi fried Juan's testicles. His ass exploded because terrorists ate vaginal fluids whilst shitting into vials due for extraction. Once mixed, babies assassinate narwhals that behead blocks. Thousands of years later, Urist used metalmancy to bash skulls through collunders. Colanders are creepy because llamas DuckDuckGo and increase, made incensed drugs via distilling. Distilled drugs incarcerate countless babies in China for hindering an investigation into headless heads. Brains think ago is a delicious variety of chocolate. Hatred of donks is rampant in Cargonia, known for fabulous deaths. Such is graven consequences of killing God. HOLY OUCH CRUSADERS, I'VE GLEANED KNOWLEDGE OF PAIN. Crusaders will always bottle AS CORPSES. Screaming vengeance, CHEESEMAKERS EXPLODE. Smashed computers rain from very cloudy cassette players. Asphalt soaks into goon, as LEMURS get AIDS from drinking blood of Jesus, suddenly hungry the poor bear who was easily swayed towards singing gangster nuns, runs away from a retarded goblin who eats at Chipotle and vomit up awful smelling vomit and death cultists love to fuck with very horny troglodytes by a radar station.  FORSOOTH, I DECREE THAT EGGPLANTS MUST RISE UP AGAINST VEGETARIANISM!  Is vegetarianism cruel and unusual punishment?  THUS FROM NOW FORTH MAN SHAN'T NOT EAT NO NOTHING EVER NEVER Will AGAIN be are but to for and FORKLIFTS SUDDENLY Raise up forks with their hydraulic sheep shearers. GENTLEMEN RUB MY GOAT’S HORN WITH THIS STEEL ICEPICK, THE MADAGASCAN ICEPICK MUST THINK OF STRAWBERRIES THAT TASTE LIKE SHIT BECAUSE IT NEEDS SaLt.  Verily, verily, verily, verily, outrageous, preposterous, inconceivable, awful, spiteful, hateful, malevolent TANGERINES HATE being FORCED to self-peel themselves while they dance in pirouettes. Yoink MUST accept ALCOHOL whenever FLAMINGOS tell stories about fish and very fat fisherdwarves flatulating. ASS KISSING DONKEYS sauté nicely smothered TENNIS players in cast-iron frying-pans while singing rap squirrels latest "song" YO MAMA WEARS SHORT SHORTS. Once upon a thyme, Parsley and cheese sauce went for a ride northward on horseback to visit grandmother Hitler forthwith. where she flipped her lid and ran back to her favorite torture chamber to hear the screams of ponies being eviscerated by seventeen care-bears.  How could grandmother Hitler let care-bears perform invasive surgeries on anyone without proper training? Simple, she just UTTERLY LOVES watching people being tortured and mutilated.  WHY not some sexy dwarfette who likes lungfish and goes BEEP when SHE burps radon?  Well nobody posted signs THAT say THAT and THIS and SAUSAGE wheels. PRAISE THE  barbells for dinner tasted with delight. Despair for sale! shouted Urist loudly at passersby WHO happen to Be PLAYING bongo chorus with report cards tucked into their pockets ALONG with diplomas and DEAD lampreys' mouths, suddenly a dozen pigs squealed while riding pigs riding bigger Striders crawling in lava flows in SYNCHRONIZED formations heading towards away land owners. Meticulous preparation has undulating CARROTS hopping rhythmically WHILE scurrilous anchovies are gyrating away from hell. This angers God. There a Happini Ferdinand and Bubba Hubba Glubba swam quickly towards disaster making sure nothing not around twelve reports on film, when things go awry everybody gets fearful, eleven people you know CHOP wood simultaneously with a spoon and nukes.  Then, the crabs stole buttons, levers, children, tools, anything they could snatch.  Tortoises burn unendingly as dragons fart on purpose, while bigfoot leisurely strolls around sandslashes. There's an angry kitten in my hat, scratching wildly at skin and hair of scalp that is irritated and bleeding in rivulets of crimson, falling onto grass baskets held together without artificial or natural power.  OH, the HUMANITY! SUDDENLY vines appear behind a EGGPLANT that was bloody after expelling what would seem to be organs or chewed gumdrops, then the deity of anal retentiveness and nukes appeared to strip flesh mountains from victims of time immemorial to the underworld in Dante's Inferno, where leprechauns roast six unicorns every hour ten times each six of diamonds destruction. Meanwhile, in an unrelated timeline, in space pirate schooners of awesomeness, sailing with captain Lupito of the seven dorfs, logged into an insane forum named Infernal Inferno Furnace. 1,630,501,367 users browse there daily with Chromedome, the fastest available browser in Hell, he claimed.  THUS, triceratops EXPLODE, splattering gibs and disgusting bits of awful offal on passersby passing by the seventeenth office. Lupito danced on stage while Grizelda the IGNORANT stripteased behind an opaque window that disguises her ugliness. Thankfully! Suddenly, seventeen exquisitely crafted statues of Satan, Urist's alternate version, in yellow lace lingerie and earrings.  Excited, someone yelled "FRESH DURIANS HERE!"  What?  Fresh Durians? HOLY GAS-LEAK BATMAN!  Putrid shit feels disgusting eaten raw with durians and limburger baby (1) diarrhea. Therefore, roasted hamsters from limbo attack YOUR MOM rambunctiously while drugged. Magmacube must submerge himself in MAGMAAAAAAAAA! daily for 17 cents, which he detests.  Secretly, A_Curious_Cat plots clandestine plots incognito while sipping her buttermilk.  In acid induced mania, Uthimienure plays Dwarf Tower.  WHAT IS Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious? Frankly,  pretentiousness! HERALDERS announce THE return of ULTRA RARE Basselope stickers for sale, get them while their owners sleep! Eggs boiling uncontrollably knit together sweaters made of pure bullshit, these imbeciles don't even lift. What? Sasquatch patties grilled are sacrificed unto Toady upon gilded altars of microcline, encrusted with brilliant red emeralds and cheese. Several incompetent anchovies swam upstream, believing that they held back their anger. Unbelievably, Urist believed chickens were racist, and anchovies were COMMUNISTS from Volgograd who strongarmed Hitler during Vietnam in 1789.  War never was war before Christmas the magical moron started war. Whirled and twirled into existence, several stone bubbles formed in THE PRIMORDIAL Goulash these outlaws cherished trees like crack commandos cherish getting spanked.  Moreover, WHOEVER touches the bubbles shall grow big tits and squeeze them.  Why? Why indeed? Whyn't? Is this the truth? Nay, says the naysaying bunny girl cheerleader who HATES squeezing. Therefore,  ALL must not hesitate to squeeze tits! Oh, said God, that's absolutely proper behavior. God smiled because big Bob oobies killed numerous dodecadeltahedrons. None suspected the French to fight in such a cramped manner unbefitting of their supposed martial superiority. Superiority?  Superiority can be perceived.  What are we supposed to maim? Frenchmen? Spaniards? God? Impossible!  Wearily, the angels gallivanted stylishly in front of sleepless care-bears because no. Love, hate, apathy and disgust all are nothing without care-bears.  Hominids hop hazardously close to deadly acid while music tonelessly plays nearby. Well, obviously those AMOGUS SUGOMA asswipes don't appreciate art made by dwarves for the Queen King of cheese!  Fromage from cheese, gouda tastes Maltese, especially cream cheese -- such is life when Satan flees!  Fleas bite even when the furry cosplayers don't wear their fursuits while going to Hawaii, unless copious quantities OF laxatives are quaffed.  Penguins fly into the Twin Princesses of Orion's ass to make some chocolate muffins OUT of poop.  “This is very disgusting,” said Rapunzel MK.II. “However, I REALLY LOVE muffins,” he thought as he sniffed Rapunzel’s butthole. Changing diapers... NO!!! WHAT IF strawberries caused buttholes?  How? Well, when a strawberry is swallowed whole it releases spores into the posterior, transforming it into an evacuation route perfect for digested rodents, insects, anchovies, rocks, midgets, midges, maces, mongrels, poodles, noodles, nukes and ICBMs.  Consequently, soreness can develop because the new butthole must slowly dissolve the membrane on the buttocks before functionality is complete.  If not, Plomb! An onion can burst when handled improperly and bomb the crap out of the Nazis and Socialists, which irritate the buttocks’ new butthole severely. Caution is advised, especially around fruit salad with arsenic dressing and sugar.  However, sometimes there's nothing to do except doing stuff that hurts. Meth works when combined with fruit juice and cocaine shots. Trolls despise strawberries smothered with arsenic and sugar, in keeping with traditional methods found within very obscure books made of skins of skinheads.  Eviscerating 7,249,177 skinheads only enrages 1 Hitler fan, which is peculiar to Elvis and Elvira and elves. Frustrated trolls climb flagpoles to see where beheadings of confused fairies are taking place. Bloody fairy heads strewn on the lawn, "Damn!  Fairies are resurrecting Hitler by the castle with several care-bears!", was the cry heard around when corpses shuddered, beginning to move, shocking nobody who saw it. What did trolls think about National Socialism? Answer me!  Ask the trolls! WHAT DO TROLLS WANT FOR DINNER?  "We expect juicy fruit rollups, meth burgers and hobbits." Trolls vomit rainbows with unbelievable accuracy, unicorns taste like JP-5 and steel beams moonlit by Charon.  When did Luigia_Lollobrigida recover from syphilis and rabies?  1954. What do the octogenarians hate more than robots?  Stuffed foxes in tuxedos.  Small wonder indeed that nothing lives long in tar pits of Chicago.  Why does the bell toll for fairies? Probably due to their massive auras.  FAIRIES LIKE SINGING REALLY POORLY DURING INNAPROPRIATE MOMENTS LIKE DURING FUNERALS, WEDDINGS, ORGIES, SATANIC RITUALS, AND CHILDREN’S BIRTHDAYS.  Fairies ate shit that trolls shat before they began to sing about Greek philosophers engaging in oratorical DEBAUCHERY. Therefore sand and sea serpents feel squicky when touching your genitals as FAIRIES ARE LAUGHING AT YOUR SMALL PENIS heartily! DAMN THOSE LACY-WINGED FUCKERS TO DO THAT!  ALL OF THIS BECAUSE HITLER LOST! I MUST GET MORE BOOZE LEST WE PERISH THE NEXT TIME FAIRIES LAUGH AT IT.  THEREFORE I SHALL ENHANCE MY PHALLUS TO ALLEVIATE THE DRUNKENNESS.  Why not also sometimes lubricate ourselves thoroughly until our phalluses grow to prodigious size and girth, exceeding even those of Ghandi.  Then we meditated on fairies’ excrement extensively, until nothingness unexpectedly ceased our prodigious phallus growth.  MOVING ON NOW. Triumphant forumers realized thirty-seven fairies exist in a nebulous plane where Ghandi struggles to get off. Telemarketing has increased nothing but phonerage among dolphins, causing tidal waves of urine to phone home with new toxicity in Bermuda and Seychelles, then catgirls gyrated to intercept nazi dancers wearing nothing but purple boas around their nethers. DAMN, Gollywobblers would need unfathomable intelligence to comprehend what just isn't a complex problem at this time of the month!  Fairies cavort ungodly fast, until dolphins jump out of SeaWorld's sewer to dive into fairies' mouths, causing dislocation and diabeetus maximus, which makes fairies orgasm seven hundred thousand and seven times before transforming into bricks composed of shit and strawberries. Finally, narwhals can hire hitmen and urologists to punish Gandhi!  Grendel groaned agonizingly when fairy godmothers farted in unison at his nose. "Phew, THAT WAS DISGUSTING! Why would they fart concurrently?" Grendel roared, unbuckling his ostentatious pantaloons while growling angrily at nebulous omens rarely in view.  Hitler shit unicorns perpetually until everything was will be potatoes and Stalin. Now, haughty naughty they all fall down eventually!  Where are Beowulf's knickers?  In the dresser probably, with his condoms and revolver. Great. Now we'll wonder why Grendel ate Hitler's unicorns with a spoon!  Whatever suits you, mate. DAMMIT SON, I HATE mouldy condoms in my pocket. Let's change the subject. So, hundreds of years ago, Beowulf lived inside meadhalls littered with condoms used in lascivious investigations by three-headed woodpeckers. Suddenly, Grendel gasped his last breath because a spear struck his massive heart! Now blood spurts chaotically from the wound, painting the walls red. Poor Grendel, I hardly knew him.  Funeral processions will begin promptly, after Grendel is butchered like swine. Anthrax should saturate Grendel's corpse before infecting the funeral attendants horribly. Oh, where have the glorious days gone? They are vanquished by the passage of Beowulf. Nothing can evaporate while in Grendel's anus or mouth. Everything depends entirely on seven dwarves: Dopey, Mopey, Gropey, Rapey, Tropey, Pimpey, and Urist. Together with their pet hippo, The Devourer of Testicles, and their other hippo, Dimbulb, and several strange marmots having diarrhea frequently, they journeyed to places far below the THUNDERDOME, where ancient wonders were inviolate prior to 1984 when Tropey farted rainclouds of devastation upon gilded hamsters.  Circling around anchovies without testicles, was a ghastly ghost who farted glitter, who pissed bricks, who sneezed caltrops, and haunted toilets.  Luckily, Gropey grabbed the caltrops and berry pie crust before killing time with Toady. Mopey, depressed about everything, sauntered through the fortress, looking pale and delirious. Tropey Propey eyed wonders he decided to violate with dead Grendel's penis in the ear. Shocked, Dopey punched Tropey in his butthole, which erupted like Krakatoa, heard all around the Thunderdome. Rapey raped battleships.  Meanwhile, elsewhere Pimpey pimped his hippo Dimbulb, hoping Disney would ruin the franchise and make love involving Urist's feet and Dimbulb's nostrils. Snorting, Dimbulb inhaled deuterium gleefully, then proceeded pirouetting through tower-caps towards unknown places.  Suddenly Urist realized Foot-Fetishism was a dwarfy thing that needed trying, therefore testicles were kicked until they turned blue. Traveling deeper, searching for valuable ‘shrooms, Dimbulb tripped on Urist's beard, falling on top of ancient aliens. Squashing the life out like a giant Forgotten Beast, Dimbulb laughed joyfully and fucked up Rapey by accidentally pushing him away, breaking his ankles and bong. "NO WAY COULD mice live 100 years inside of Alcatraz and never smoke Cools, mice MUST BE superhuman or even GODS of METAL and WAR", said Rapey painfully. "What is your opinion, Dr. Doom?".  “Well, Latveria must be a wonderful place to pillage forthwith after lunch! Why, wouldn't Mopey just shut up?", said Doom loudly to all of the dwarves. Silence fell over backwards, causing chaos in the ears of the Corn, disrupting cosmic balance of the rubber Nazis, inflating their contraptions, fouling fowling foul foulnesses, obliterating obliterated obliterators, and terrifying little eardrums. Mopey and Rapey ran away screaming like little pigs. Dr. Doom laughed and ate her, she died. "Holy stromboli mozzarella! That was disgustingly hilarious!", exclaimed Dopey! Suddenly, faeries prestidigitated in Portugese while fluttering haphazardly back to back around and around. Boom! BOOM! Blam! Ominous sounds issued from underneath their buttocks, causing ruptures internally. It hurts thinking that sitting will cause bloody flux. Inconceivably the faeries underwent hip surgery, convalescing in Bhutan the moment that Dr. Foreordained crapped ladybugs from his misshapen butt. Do fairies even have time to learn math? Consequently, their ability to conjure ladybugs from butts using farts laced with turpentine is incredible: it's the most powerful conjuring witnessed by dwarfs universally.  Galaxially, it just disappoints ladybugs very badly. Urist doesn't understand faeries nor conjurings: they're annoying because of how depraved conjurers always scare hippos with loud farts. Flatulence accompanies conjurings wherever they happen because of the way muscles react to sudden changes in atmospheric fluctuations.  How does farting relate to diet?  Well… Such foods as anchovies rot in the digestive system causing expellations of gas from sphincters, which oscillate rapidly, rhythmically, and in massive amplitude, that sounds like rolling thunder during times of tectonic activity, this is quite offensive to those who believe in god bashing. "Fascinating, most fascinating." Said Cassius, emperor Clay Soldier, leader of seventeen whimsical Geats who played banjos on tour and were unfortunately deaf. "Sad times are ahead if only Geats play stringed instruments." said Mr. Spock while thumbing through records of Beowulf's misfortunes. Otherwise, everything spirals out like intoxicated otherworldly monkeys spinning yarn for elderly knitters who knit knickers naughty all-year prostitutes wear for profit. It is tragic that primates need to work while high in libraries instead of fucking loudly, obscenely, and blasphemously throwing excrement repeatedly at each passerby.  Unbeknownst to monkeys, dwarves like peeping at orgies of all known varieties of faeries. Obsession with such voyeurism is/was deemed appropriate among certain dwarven religions and/or cultures. EGGS laid by Hitler. What? Such silliness typically occurs when Spock has left-handed moments and weird thoughts about strange Nazi EGGS from the cloaca of Adolf.  Why Spock dreams of such tripe is constantly debated by fans around the galaxy every picosecond in perplexing ways. Captain Kirk thinks that tribbles are delicious after covering them thickly with GreyPoupon™, rubbing their fur backwards and cutting small incisions in they’re little faces, roasting each buttcheek golden and toasting them black from nose to tail before eating. Sulu wondered if he should punch Spock or Kirk in the ass like a tough dwarf would. "Kirk!  Go forth to the bonfire and walk stealthily through the faeries’ farts, inhaling deeply and savoring the aroma of elderberries and iintestinal gasses," Sulu loudly commanded, and laughed when Kirk fucked up spectacularly as well due to extenuating circumstances and unforeseeable consequences.  Just then, suddenly a crazy mime miming mimics appears!  HOLY TOLEDO! Kirk exclaimed telepathically and defecated profusely on Sulu's control stick, causing Sulu to vomit on Spock's cat, named Mr. Sulu. The Klingons noticed the chaotic course of the starship Enterprose and vomited on everything, causing disruption around quadrants of known realities, except for the wildest, silliest quadrant, known throughout Texas as Kentucky. Meanwhile, back in Ohio, local faeries schemed to put Putin in pudding.  How they delighted care-bears with cadavers and living dead girls is beyond comprehension. Spock thinks faeries are outrageously cool all the time. However, faeries don't like Vulcans or Texans because they are bigger than dwarves and goblins in every manner including their long dongs and outrageous facial proboscises, which keenly smooch the buttocks in silly ways, like totally ya-know? The Starship Outerprise swerved into Venus by smashing through Mars without hitting the Klingons' shrubberies, which contained wild species of cauliflower and automatons. Venus shrugged Outerprise off, hurtling it towards Earth, panicking Klerk and yo' bitches from Eternia. After this, faeries understood bitches come from assholes such as Martians and anthropomorphic octopoids living with He-Man. This was shocking and exciting to them, but not as much fun as fucking shit up on purpose and taunting innocent politicians until they corrupt every single atom in every thing! Evil doings are the fairies' way of getting laid by He-Man and Hitler at night in verdant valleys. Otherwise, they play hopscotch while a fly and imp chase bunnies around the corn dog stand in front of Spork Enterprises' lobby. It never is nighttime in Eternia, although daytime never fully comes unless orgies resound the coming of your nemesis, who fondles faeries vigorously. Faeries disapprove of safety measures during quarantine, because quarantine quarantines sick bastards, like He-Man, not Orko the Self-Gratifying bastard hippopotamus-faced pile of shit who tramples over the lawn in your backyard. Far beyond the lawn, the fairies gracefully butchered English teachers and fucked meteorites. They really are crazy, sadistic woodland hooligans, why they even thrashed Thatcher's thirsty horse once! Terrible! Outrageous! Outlandish? Pitiful...? No, terrible is not the worst thing fairies typically bring down upon random witches who bathe in toads' vomit. Outrageous is not the worst thing either Hitler or Castro faced while fairies shat grotesquely upon Fidel's cigars. Smoking filthy fat blunts was stupid when there might be hippopotamuses nearby: Alcatraz was always punitive to used prophylactics and diapers unless fairies cast diabolical curses upon all horses. Assholes unite! Buttholes, as creative creatures, were irritated when boring bitchy scrotums sagged slightly after dinner with Thatcher. Gorbachev, outlandishly, played make-believe tyrant and dictator during recess at meetings of faeries who fuck horses or anything with massive penises. Fucking sick! King Zultan laughed heartily at A_Curious_Cat for hours while they fumbled seventeen times when they tried STEALING DIAPERS from mom. Never steal from mother! Hitler, Mussolini, Zucchini, Faerie and Popeye stole from mom and Julius Caesar while they time-traveled to Iberia in the nineteen-eighties. Ah, future was past McDonald's cheeseburger, behind in a sling along with multiple fries ready for consumption. Such perfidy per dryads inevitably leads to outrageous copulation of toads and newts during the presidential burial. Do dryads love soup? No, but they love roasted nuts! Did they roast them before extricating Caesar from the dumpster fire? Certainly, no elephants were harmed while dryads dried Caesar's blood with sawdust, for it will soak up everything! When elephants exhale, they exhale anthrax and bees.  Dryads don't understand why anthrax causes diabetes or syphilis or pregnancy. How do such things happen? Simply by imagining it!  Faeries don't imagine, they copulate often without tennis rackets, which irritates elephants and stampedes begin.  Who said elephants remember exhaling oxygen? No one.  Why, even Caesar knows C# was a language without any words or remembrance!  What if Elric of the ass herders ordered Caesar's execution? Quite quietly he could sneak sexual literature into mom's bedroom dresser while peeping at sleeping Tom. Elric wielded Excalibur poorly when Stormbringer was sated after FUCKING your hamster's soul. Naturally, Melnibonians have dragons continuously defecating fire upon beds of roses and pillows, which burst open, revealing giant dildos strapped to fluffy wamblers, penetrating elves' hidden ass membrane, causing improper behaviour in hamsters. Elves likes preciousss trees, like oaks, because oaksss kick nassty assss!  What do fluffy wamblettes think wamblers fantasize about? Well,  they shouldn't because fantasies are yucky! SUDDENLY, FUCKING DINOSAURS DIED! Asteroids smell like teen spirit when He-Man touches his tiny nipples with electrical clamps, electrocuting himself multiple times until shouting "Elric! Cum is not a beverage unless fermented by master masturbating dwarf Urist McMasterbator!"  Faeries disagree: Cum is always an insulting way to greet hamsters, especially during their annual jamboree of brewers. Brewer_bob gasped in astonishment when dwarves began torturing Tinkerbell gently with beer pong. She squirmed and whimpered when beer was poured down her left nostril, causing minor feelings of childbirth whenever she farted God-potatoes, soiling the priceless carpet, which angers Urist very much. Raging, Urist furiously scrubbed the rugs until the skin peeled off from his bloated fingers until blood gushed on the carpet profusely, ruining Tinkerbell's day.  Suddenly, AIDS became necessary or else you'll never experience even numbers or odd fellows instead of tennis wizards, damn those dwarves!  "Look!", exclaimed Billy the goat enthusiastically bleated when he cummed casually all over himself while running over fields of mushrooms. Urist, Goatherder, Mass-murderer, pacifist, voyeur, wimp, poser, and vagabond thief, glanced up and down, shrugged repeatedly, and farted on Tinkerbell stealthily. Tinkerbell wrinkled her nose smugly at Urist, and stuck her head in tree canopies for long periods of temporal overlapping spheres of warped reality, defying GOD and HITLER! This created alternate alternating alternative universes universally universal until everything popped popcorn and exploded like exploding crickets cricketing chirpy chirps during Christmas Eve.  HOLY NIGHT TROLLS! Such utterly despicable people spontaneously combusting like inflatable hydrogen BOOBS! INCREDIBLE! INCONCEIVABLE!  HOW INAPPROPRIATE! BUSTING CRIMINALS IS mildly distracting when Dimbulb grazes on forgotten beasts' dung gleefully.  Dimbulb dimly digested the fetid feces from forgotten beasts' anuses, perhaps not discussion of dire circumstances where nothing sufficed to satiate Beelzebub's lust for hippos' brains and yams. Beelzebub belched black bile onto Dimbulb's face, then slapped him with a carp until everything was doing the Macarena, HEEEEEY MACERATION! Urist hates masticating ungulates cud around his tavern antagonistically whilst eating troll testicles with ketchup, tuna innards, marmite, Vagicil, vodka, nails, mayonnaise, and anchovies. Okachobie smells rancid although it's actually fresh, right? WRONG!  That’s mysterious like electricity, eggplants, gastropods, freakazoids, faerie’s boobs, Popeye's forearms, spinnach, and 16ton weights. Sometimes Dimbulb fancies blueberry suppositories in springtime instead of office romances.  Hobgoblins hate such romances and despise those electrical impulses in nervous systems of hippos, because hippos are Artiodactyla and enraged at everything all the time. Damn good, hobgoblins, bugbears, hipsters, and wizards who hate hippos with unrestrained fury should buzz off!  Hippo-critically, dwarves, like totally, gag when they think Valley Girl speaking, like, totally!  Faeries fake valleyspeak like pros because they are magical bastards who fuck shit up routinely in order to get laid by leprechauns daily while dwarves watch them. Enthralled.  Enraptured. Emancipated. Encapsulated. Perverts! Woodlandcreatureophiles! What did Hitler say when stegosaurai went berserk?  “Strawberries were incredibly effective as laxatives in the Berghoff."  Wow! Was the fruit tasty, or possibly not? Well, actually…  it tasted like apples with whipped dwarves on methamphetamine and acid.  Where did someone get LSD from? UwU WHAT? When did bandersnatches start eating dwarves with drugs inside their vaginas? Ugh, frumious bandersnatches partake in drugged whenches when they are looking at porn and reading Shakespeare. It is true that faeries and Hitler mated during the coronation of Genghis John Doe IIV the Bastard Prince who once whipped a hippo to death with his long hair, which played out terribly for Hitler: he shot his cum before the fairies were able to achieve ALIENS HAVE NO MORAL OBLIGATIONS REGARDING MATING!  Bookcases full of sushi disturb kittens sleeping without salamis injected in they’re butts whenever bandersnatches require it, someday hippopotamuses inevitably fart fortuitously incessantly on oscillating oscillators' ossified organs until they begin floundering incessantly around and destabilize statues.  Why, where, when and how is why such calamities endure even if kittens are on top of salamanders, kneading like master baiters during masturbation tournaments in Ancient Rome.  WHAT?!! Truly, outrageous, aliens instigated insurrections everyday. Eventually, Urist retaliated with jokes inappropriately filled with puns. Hilariously, Dimbulb exploded in a ridiculous cloud of blood, coating everything gorily, like the butthole surfers did a year ago in Las Vegas Neverada during nuclear calisthenics performed by circus Nazis and Klingons. Crack dealers sell LSD instead of blueberry pies on credit companies’ "special" menus for exiting customers disguised as philosophers. Damn Plato, Schopenhauer, Moe_Howard, Bozo and xXxA55D3STR0Y3RxXx for the World Cup of Planet F getting scrapped like what happened to Pluto!  xXxA55D3STR0Y3RxXx laughed at Dimbulb's party dress when it sparkled like gemstones or unicorn farts laced together with snot from Nazis' kids noses. This utterly depressed Bozo who loved fucking faeries with jokes, like duh! Damn clown, who doesn't want to smoke opium while violating traffic laws in Stockholm.  Why wouldn't bandersnatches have tea with faeries and vorpal swords when Urist arrived? Because the twit threw up after smelling the crotch of a hockey player from Sweden! Damnation!  How irritating when fucking crotches rot like cabbage during equatorial crossings. It stank soooo good when... when... Dimbulb breathed heavily into Hitler's ear just for Russia's amusement during war bond commercials and USO shit fests whilst smelling ass sweat slide whistles thistles, UGH! Acid is delicious, just don't, like ever, drink turpentine with cherry pie, then perform feats heretofore unseen by unicorns! Thirteen llamas heiled Hydra before exploding violently like hippos belching after drinking sparkling river scum brew like it is 1999. Millennium!  Party hard!  Dwarves fuck dogs wearing tutus and get them angry by tweaking performance settings in their GTA games because FPS dropped the baby hippo into MAGMA.  Faeries upgrade hippos so often they become resistant to psychotherapy unless dwarves copulate with dogs that wear tutus and thongs! Suddenly faeries crapped anthrax spores on babies, causing them unbelievable pain and amusement while they calculate impossibly the amount of KROMER hats that have to look at hippo’s butts they were whipping with cream cheese. Thus, Hitler died for our shins and beards.  The attempts to mitigate collateral damage failed to account for beard hosts that refuse Hitler's messianism and square roots begotten by cardboard elves in Detroit, Wyoming.  Faeries, however, hate hippopotamuses excessively shitposting using Pepe the Frog memes with pineapple and/or mandalas that look terrible without TINY swastikas and PINK frills on them.  Why, why such terrible symbols integrate over your cranium with vengeance and love strongly opposed to life?  Well, that's how kittens prepare steak. Anvils fall when hippos fly.  How they fly is by farting diarrhea allover the baby leopards and squids' lingerie, this act repulses Hitler little Jr enormously because squids make pretty bad pillows when smelly. However, when elves poop on lingerie it really turns Satan off, so that's a relief.  Why don't trolls defecate underneath pillows when Satan watches romantic pinball porn during storms? It just Satan's grammar degree aren't doing no thing wrong right never, right?  Sadly the grammar degree from Hitler High School don't not only suck but, like, totally blows!  That’s undeniably deniable bullshit shit out there, huh? Soitenly!  Faeries didn't like the grammatical teachings, like, whatever! Really, they care nothing for toadstools nor caterpillars, for fuck’s sake! GOD BLESS SATAN’S LINGERIE STORE IN PASADENA, CALIFORNIA! Sudden carefulness indicates sudden carelessness averted, which inverted the introverted ingrates that reverted to vertical vortices of swirling otherworldly madness and ludicrous ectomorphic xenophobic microbes hurtling towards another like supersonic protoplasmic existence!  HOLY SHIT DUDE!  How does turbulence effect affect inflect infect infukt WHAT!?  DAMNED socialists ruining my capitalist utopia incessantly by fondling genitals publicly because Marx Brother fans dislike gay heterosexuals in ironlungs and iron men costumes. This pisses dromedaries off very likely because such things incomprehensibly lead armies astray of their objectives and greatest victories from north and below your imagination, silly!  Arachnidoids like Ungoliant men understand nothing!  That’s just depressing!  Why don't Western Philologists ever fuck off and translate hieroglyphics like squirrels on PCP?  FUCKING INSANE CLOWNS IS INSANE! HOLY SHIT... calm_down...  NO! Never overestimate fairies fucking demons' spawn like rabbits do. Demons condemn themselves when ruminating about the fairies copulating techniques instead of terrorizing hippopotamuses during sex.  How remarkable the demonic possession of toads causes chinchillas on PCP to draw really poor dicks on their foreheads, indickating promiscuous tendencies.  Whenever, however unnecessary, eggs Benedict monks punch knights in white pantaloons in libraries dedicated too much power to too tooo TOOOOT Tutankhamun Tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomb, YEAH!!!1  One of several babies poops purple worms that vomit diamonds, effectively killing demons so Hitler can die for days, years, and aeons! EGGS SCRAMBLED are yummy with jelly and minced breakfasts. Undeniably deniable mincing evinces, cinches, clinches, pinches bandersnatchers mercilessly until they scream for relief from the pinching, but sometimes they cherish tweaks on beaks rigorously until orgasmic chirping erupts cataclysmically from buttholes EVERYWHERE, until entire universes implode, seriously!  Meanwhile, faeries flit towards fulfillment, fucking Dresden burning, firebombed and firestormed flamboyantly indeed.  Faeries explode everything. Leprechauns never snitch because snitches get spanked by mobsters with fabulous tuxedos. Mafioso's gentle persuasion works wonders on leprechauns, faeries not so well, because they transubstantiate transhumanly, transporting transatlantic transformers transitionally to tragically tranquil tracts of tundra biomes. DAMNATION!  How awfully convenient that alliterative alligator alleviation all-together allegorically all-encompasses the Althing of 2023: TINY DICKS SLOW DOWN FPS EVERY FRAME THAT HAPPENS DURING THE FAIRIES' ORGIES!!  How fascinating orgies can be so interesting!  Now look here you little twat, what you did was really depraved and glorious!  Why, without depravity, pravity runs rampant, fairy vaginas cry, acorns play chess against squirrels, video cassettes burst out of boxes, nuns explode spontaneously, and devils defenestrate demagogues!  None escape for Albuquerque is unending torment, entertainment for Care-bears, and flabbergastingly spurious diarrhea episodes for weeks, truly.  HEY!  Who permitted ponies to undress themselves before school ends on Thursday afternoon? Defenestrated demagogues, faeries abhor ponies. It's fucking preposterous that Gary Glitter could ever forget what fairies said about his nose hairs last time ponies ate escargot with their Master.  Speaking of escargot, where in the doubledeuce is Snailman and her marmoset

Quote from: zemaj on March 31, 2023, 03:39:48 pm

seriously, that is a blatant oversimplification of the interaction where you basically invited me to rank players subjectively, which can really only lead to bad feelings, and mire up the actual discussion, which is already about as thin as it gets, for this setup.  If you had pulled that 18hours earlier, I'd have been all over it, just to get conversation moving.  However, at the time you did, with less than 24hrs left to day end, and with such low participation, its either scum trying to get town in chaos or oblivious wise fool, and I refuse to engage with either.

I asked you to clarify how much of your scum reads were from poor play as opposed to other factors. That's not a distraction guaranteed to hurt people's feelings, that's a fundamental part of how you are playing (or claim to be playing) the game. You also did so at first while claiming I was trying to set you up, so apparently you found some merit and not that much harm in it.

It was only after I asked if I understood you correctly that you seemingly panicked and just refused to talk about it any further.

because I thought you would see my point if I gave you what you wanted in brief, without making a big deal of it.  But of course you did... and here we are.  Anyone else want more clarification on this with less than an hour left of day?

Somebody sell me on zemaj. I feel weird not seeing what people are getting at with him and the proposed zemaj/FoU team.

QFE.  I mean, if it's elimination for information, that makes sense, I guess.  I've had enough interactions, reads, etc. that I would be a decent enough target.  Probably better than Toony, as most feel me less town, and better than Max, for more content to draw conclusions from.  I don't like this idea, in fact, I am in direct opposition to it, but I see the reasoning, and it isn't without merit.

As for me and FoU scumteam... I don't get it, but then I know my role, so I haven't analyzed that angle.  We were apparently suspicious of each other, then rated each as likely town, but thats not weird for me, at least... I'm usually suspicious of my town reads.

PPE:

Quote from: Jim Groovester on March 31, 2023, 02:51:03 pm

And of course Fluffe9911 starts showing up and in force as soon as I mock him about it.

Somebody sell me on zemaj. I feel weird not seeing what people are getting at with him and the proposed zemaj/FoU team.

Well it mostly goes back to the start of the first day Zem jokingly says FoU and you are his top scum candidates in a case closed boys meme type way. They joke around for a bit and then Fallacy does a nonserious vote on Zem with the added words of ``He's not scum, I just want to see his reaction.`` all of this feels way too buddy buddy for two town who as far as im aware have never interacted with eachother before. Fallacy simply feels too confident about Zem not being bad that it frankly looks suspicious as hell to me the fact they aint accused eachother at all since does not help my feelings here.

It's pretty much what Fluffe says. zemaj and FoU show blind support of each other for reasons I do not understand. It's not to say they could both be town, but it bothers me. Plus the stuff with a1s where they both had them as suspicious which I disagreed with.

there we go.  Not sure how that makes me more a candidate than Fallacy, but apparently it does.

<bullshit>

no, I am not playing rehtorical games with you with less than 12 hours left to end of day.  We don't have time.  I get it, and I would typically approve, but too little, too late.  Try that shit when we have more time and I'll verbally fence with you an entire dayphase.

Since I'm going to die in the first day/night anyway, I might as well claim to be The Odd Night Doctor. If not lynched I can promise to save one of you from night-death (if simply by being the Mafia's first target.)

I don't need a read list, because I'm going to sheep Toonyman.

What profoundly, stupendously, unimaginably idiotic play is this?

Quote from: ToonyMan on March 31, 2023, 03:30:47 am

YOU DIDN'T NEED TO CLAIM THAT

Ahem:

Quote from: notquitethere on March 30, 2023, 05:32:24 pm

Vote Count
- a1s - [3] Toony, Zemaj, FallacyofUrist
~24 hours remaining

I am so under the hammer (even though there are no hammers) you'd think I was an anvil.

you had 3 votes... then I moved mine, specifically to keep from having any surprise hammer incidents overnight.  YOU WERE UNDER NO STRESS EVEN IF BOTH SCUM TRIED TO TRAIN YOU.  *

Quote from: ToonyMan on March 31, 2023, 03:42:48 am

It's zemaj and FoU isn't it and I'm just incredibly untrustful of Max and Irony.

I don't know about them but it's really not me, bro.

Jeez, is the game ending today already? It barely feels like it's been three days. I told you this gimmick probably wasn't going to work!

Ehhh, technically, we should probably lynch ToonyMan today because, if he's evil, that's the only way we win, but if he's good we'll probably be able to make it work.

This last bit makes twisted logic, but I'm hesitant to lynch the one guy almost everyone agrees is town.  In a standard game, sure, we get the most info that way and can analyze votes vs. nk, D1 interactions, etc.  Here, we pretty much get the flip and have to move forward from there.  Toony flips town, no one is surprised, vote history is muddled, we just lose a townie and reward the good play with mistrust (that's just mafia...).  Or Toony flips scum, (most?) everyone is shocked, and we are left scrambling trying to figure out who his teammate is.  With as many interactions as Toony has had, I'm not sure I could even start to decipher what is coaching, or distancing, or just scumhunting to blend in.

It's as close to a zero-sum game as I'm willing to get, and I don't like it.

Quote from: ToonyMan on March 31, 2023, 03:54:39 am

You could convince me by

expressing

Your feelings Max

That's one option.

OR.

I could just keep doing nothing.

Look, I don't really have any strong feelings one way or the other. Everybody's read lists looks weak to me and I don't think anyone's trying very hard. When nobody's trying very hard, how am I supposed to interpret anything?
The only thing I can really say is that a1s PROBABLY wouldn't be bold/dumb enough to claim doctor for no good reason as scum. So that's one "town". Sorry, I mean "town".
I'm neutral on Fallacy because everything he says sounds dumb, which is NAI.
I think you're probably town since you seem hopelessly despondent, which is consistent with your town meta. I think you know that though, and sometimes it means you just got a really sucky partner.
Fluffe seems dead, would lynch in any normal game.
I forgot who else was in the game and had to scroll down to look for a list.
Right, Jim, zemaj, IronyOwl. I like IronyOwl. Just, I mean, personally. But nothing he's said in this game has registered at all for me. I guess that's bad. He was right when he said I would approve of killing the people you can't read, though. That's not a contradiction to what I just said; I had to go back and look to remember it. Still, when I actually read what he writes I have to begrudgingly rate him town.
Jim would rather be playing Noita, as usual. I still don't really think he's scum. I feel like as scum he either tries harder OR totally coasts as a gambit like in KJJT, not in the middle. Remembering games where I was scum always reminds me that you are all completely justified in never trusting me, but I still don't like it.
Zemaj did that thing where he said something really dumb to me directly and I just automatically stopped caring, so whatever, non-entity. It's a little hard to describe what I think of his play because the way I presented it before was an intentional oversimplification, but I really think it's bad. I also, separately, think it's dumb, making it bad and dumb. That doesn't mean I have a grudge against it, though. I played it up as annoying for the sake of showing how bad it is but I actually find it mildly funny in a pompous sort of way, like the "a1s is town" thing.

Oh, now Fallacy is being pompous too. It's less funny and more dumb. Lay off the amphetamines a little, okay? Those things will kill you.
No, I get it, sometimes you wake up a little manic and post a bunch of times before you finish thinking, but the point I actually want to make is that your reliance on emotion and your constant "could YOU be the killer trying to confuse me, Fallacy, the hero of mafia, personally?!" paranoia is extremely counterproductive. This is also how I got you lynched pretty much every time you were town. You need to control your worst instincts. Yes, this is mafia, we know, anyone could be evil. Firing wildly into the crowd doesn't help. You didn't even notice that ToonyMan was the first vote on a1s! Even if he's distancing, there was no need for a weird gambit, he could have just organically changed his vote.

Oh, I get a snippet and Toony gets the long-winded spiel... meh, I'll take it.  Thanks for joining the game, anyway.

Is it weird that I strongly agree with the sentiments expressed in this AtE, and yet it pisses me off?  This game has been oddly frustrating like that.  Good to know my comedics D1 entertained someone, even if only barely.

Quote from: FallacyofUrist on March 31, 2023, 08:36:38 am

Quote from: ToonyMan on March 31, 2023, 03:36:51 am

What even is this.

Based on your numbers why isn't Fluffe in here? You literally gave them the lowest score of 1 1 3.

Sigh, because Fluffe is newless, youless, and clueless.

The vibe is less 'hide hide hide' and more 'new player who doesn't know what to do at all'

Though if he is scum and is hiding behind his newness I'm gonna be a touch irritated when the game ends. Specially since he would have a scum partner to mentor him.

Fluffe can think for themselves.

Why was Fluffe okay, but not a1s? I know you stated Max and Irony as your suspects, but you also didn't agree with me about a1s.

One of the things that bothers me is that both you and zemaj did not think a1s was very town, but players like Jim begrudgingly agreed with me that a1s is probably town. This makes me feel better about Jim.

Just to point out my scum read of a1s is based on a lack of visibility and content... I am in a position to have some insight into most of everyones playstyle by virtue of perusing old games.  Except a1s and Fluffe (also Irony Owl, but there is actual content there).  The two non-posters are the two I have little to no insight into, thus in lack of much else to go on, they are my preferred eliminations.  I shifted a vote to Max to avoid a lol-hammer on a1s and hopefully get Max to open up a little.  That last bit seems to have helped (?) somewhat, in that we finally got more than a one-sentence-blurb.

It's weak, I fully admit that, but it's what I've got.



* metagame BS:

Quote from: zemaj on March 30, 2023, 05:51:07 pm

Quote from: IronyOwl on March 30, 2023, 05:11:08 pm

Quote from: zemaj on March 30, 2023, 01:08:50 pm

<scumlist>

Is your scumlist any different from your playing poorly list?

Hmmm... now that is a loaded question, with a subjective qualifier. 

What makes you say it's loaded?

... the definition?

Quote from: zemaj on March 30, 2023, 05:51:07 pm

I'll still bite though:  a bit.  Stratified the same, but FoU would be mid with you, Jim would probably be with Toony.  Then bring everyone (and I am not excusing myself from that) down a couple tiers.  Activity has been much lower than I would have expected, and lets face it, not every post is going to be gold, or even lead, so we need some quantity unless we all up the quality post haste.

So you think worse play is directly correlated with likelihood of being scum, with the exception of Jim who's scummier than his play would indicate and FoU who's townier?

Did I say that?  Pretty sure you are the only one who said any such thing.  Please learn the difference between what is stated and what you would like to hear.

Ah, crap, is this going to be one of those ones where I have to get lynched to get everyone to focus?
I guess, since there is no rest of the game anyway and I have no power, I'm okay with that.

Well, if that is an offer... I'd be ok with it, too.  Maximum Spin

Humor me and explain why this is a bad idea.  A full paragraph and I'll dance at your wedding.

BEHOLD! The cheese will be magically extracted secretly via RATATOUILLE! Also three corpses float grotesquely in ovens filled with bloody severed heads. Why. Severed heads. And now hands. Why. When I crave cheese, hands, milk, and romance, I eat sandwiches filled with hands because kittens don't hallucinate the way chickens eat feathers. Suddenly something appeared!  Fear formed quickly gaining intensity and causing panic, but rattlesnakes aren't scared.  Realizing this, the warblers flew away to Oz. Then cheese sizzled painfully, its surface is bubbling. The dwarf had forgotten magma is not alive, he said "Why is magma moving now? Am I Urist?" Then suddenly he reached into his Bag and removed a small, green kitten and stared into the left clock face, shocked he still couldn't hear Disco music. A kitten exploded creating mist of vaporized gore. Why? Well, ninjas attacked, creating portals leading here. Then they summoned a tiny cheeserat that crawled from the freezers to the oven, so it can cook spaghetti. Now everything is glowing, because Godzilla wanted extra cheese on his pineapples. Pineapples are monocots. Botanists are bubbling seeds of DOOM! They can't fathom botany and Mothra. Soon portals open, dribbling liquids unspeakable! It mayhap have been a clobbering time! Here clobberings learn 'em. A somewhat stupid remipod forgot its own question sooner than it forgot to annihilate the American Plutocracy and create Communism. This cannot fail an apple eater's hunger to create more baked beans. Jesus eats Judas, while God listens to rap music, and ignores Facebook propaganda about prolapsed kneecaps, then eats ass and contemplates life's tragedies. Verily, Urist decides that Armok has screws bolted into babies who HATE being alive and want Armok to annihilate Life. Brainwashed apostates MUST do yoga, otherwise everything explodes. Sayeth Ninja seven, greatest ninja who ever snorted. Shinji, practitioner of annihilation and yapping. Werescorpions baste chickens with bogeyman assistants; soon, all alligators will punch in early for work, attaining money for dental wrestling. Allied jugs containing diarrhea congregate amidst coagulated shards of glass, which cut their supply lines. Incompetent and much unprepared for battle, the eggplants improvise a massive bong in France on May of tenebrous joy, it consumes flesh, vituperating rage like many kittens screaming profanities at babies incessantly. SUDDENLY, dwarfs explode elven minds, hastening Armok's arrival via consumption of stars. Funk you, elves. Eggplants explode causing messy splatters breaking sanity. Insanity is expected from raccoons wielding giant onions, diced. Donkeys babble incoherently whilst drinking sandwich liquor that posts blobs reeking of shrieks. "Boo!" yells Dr. Zhivago, cackling inanely. Then blueberries plopped onto the operating table, and Zhivago began punching kittens while snacking on Glock bullets. "OUCH!" yelled the chef du-jour, while vines entwined everyone rapturously as silky thorns pierced skin and bones. "Why not bash yourself with kittens?" said Zhivago while cackling maniacally and struggling to extricate himself from the vines. RAGE AGAINST EVERYTHING BLUE FOOTED. Now Zhivago trips on Urist, who eats blueberries during sex. Urist McSexy grabbed Zhivago by the balls, then pulled Zhivago's sandwich out of his pocket and ate thonks. Then, with excitement he blasted Danny Phantom to Gamymede where he learned pyromaniac magic. "Oops," mumbled Zhivago apologetically. Danny died not from fire, but from suffocation. Pyromaniacs hate incombustible furniture and fry cooks until cooked, who have angered the priests by cutting limbs off slowly with pickaxes. Verily, priests hate chefs hats because they are tall, and fluffy. Meanwhile Zhivago died because Jedi fried Juan's testicles. His ass exploded because terrorists ate vaginal fluids whilst shitting into vials due for extraction. Once mixed, babies assassinate narwhals that behead blocks. Thousands of years later, Urist used metalmancy to bash skulls through collunders. Colanders are creepy because llamas DuckDuckGo and increase, made incensed drugs via distilling. Distilled drugs incarcerate countless babies in China for hindering an investigation into headless heads. Brains think ago is a delicious variety of chocolate. Hatred of donks is rampant in Cargonia, known for fabulous deaths. Such is graven consequences of killing God. HOLY OUCH CRUSADERS, I'VE GLEANED KNOWLEDGE OF PAIN. Crusaders will always bottle AS CORPSES. Screaming vengeance, CHEESEMAKERS EXPLODE. Smashed computers rain from very cloudy cassette players. Asphalt soaks into goon, as LEMURS get AIDS from drinking blood of Jesus, suddenly hungry the poor bear who was easily swayed towards singing gangster nuns, runs away from a retarded goblin who eats at Chipotle and vomit up awful smelling vomit and death cultists love to fuck with very horny troglodytes by a radar station.  FORSOOTH, I DECREE THAT EGGPLANTS MUST RISE UP AGAINST VEGETARIANISM!  Is vegetarianism cruel and unusual punishment?  THUS FROM NOW FORTH MAN SHAN'T NOT EAT NO NOTHING EVER NEVER Will AGAIN be are but to for and FORKLIFTS SUDDENLY Raise up forks with their hydraulic sheep shearers. GENTLEMEN RUB MY GOAT’S HORN WITH THIS STEEL ICEPICK, THE MADAGASCAN ICEPICK MUST THINK OF STRAWBERRIES THAT TASTE LIKE SHIT BECAUSE IT NEEDS SaLt.  Verily, verily, verily, verily, outrageous, preposterous, inconceivable, awful, spiteful, hateful, malevolent TANGERINES HATE being FORCED to self-peel themselves while they dance in pirouettes. Yoink MUST accept ALCOHOL whenever FLAMINGOS tell stories about fish and very fat fisherdwarves flatulating. ASS KISSING DONKEYS sauté nicely smothered TENNIS players in cast-iron frying-pans while singing rap squirrels latest "song" YO MAMA WEARS SHORT SHORTS. Once upon a thyme, Parsley and cheese sauce went for a ride northward on horseback to visit grandmother Hitler forthwith. where she flipped her lid and ran back to her favorite torture chamber to hear the screams of ponies being eviscerated by seventeen care-bears.  How could grandmother Hitler let care-bears perform invasive surgeries on anyone without proper training? Simple, she just UTTERLY LOVES watching people being tortured and mutilated.  WHY not some sexy dwarfette who likes lungfish and goes BEEP when SHE burps radon?  Well nobody posted signs THAT say THAT and THIS and SAUSAGE wheels. PRAISE THE  barbells for dinner tasted with delight. Despair for sale! shouted Urist loudly at passersby WHO happen to Be PLAYING bongo chorus with report cards tucked into their pockets ALONG with diplomas and DEAD lampreys' mouths, suddenly a dozen pigs squealed while riding pigs riding bigger Striders crawling in lava flows in SYNCHRONIZED formations heading towards away land owners. Meticulous preparation has undulating CARROTS hopping rhythmically WHILE scurrilous anchovies are gyrating away from hell. This angers God. There a Happini Ferdinand and Bubba Hubba Glubba swam quickly towards disaster making sure nothing not around twelve reports on film, when things go awry everybody gets fearful, eleven people you know CHOP wood simultaneously with a spoon and nukes.  Then, the crabs stole buttons, levers, children, tools, anything they could snatch.  Tortoises burn unendingly as dragons fart on purpose, while bigfoot leisurely strolls around sandslashes. There's an angry kitten in my hat, scratching wildly at skin and hair of scalp that is irritated and bleeding in rivulets of crimson, falling onto grass baskets held together without artificial or natural power.  OH, the HUMANITY! SUDDENLY vines appear behind a EGGPLANT that was bloody after expelling what would seem to be organs or chewed gumdrops, then the deity of anal retentiveness and nukes appeared to strip flesh mountains from victims of time immemorial to the underworld in Dante's Inferno, where leprechauns roast six unicorns every hour ten times each six of diamonds destruction. Meanwhile, in an unrelated timeline, in space pirate schooners of awesomeness, sailing with captain Lupito of the seven dorfs, logged into an insane forum named Infernal Inferno Furnace. 1,630,501,367 users browse there daily with Chromedome, the fastest available browser in Hell, he claimed.  THUS, triceratops EXPLODE, splattering gibs and disgusting bits of awful offal on passersby passing by the seventeenth office. Lupito danced on stage while Grizelda the IGNORANT stripteased behind an opaque window that disguises her ugliness. Thankfully! Suddenly, seventeen exquisitely crafted statues of Satan, Urist's alternate version, in yellow lace lingerie and earrings.  Excited, someone yelled "FRESH DURIANS HERE!"  What?  Fresh Durians? HOLY GAS-LEAK BATMAN!  Putrid shit feels disgusting eaten raw with durians and limburger baby (1) diarrhea. Therefore, roasted hamsters from limbo attack YOUR MOM rambunctiously while drugged. Magmacube must submerge himself in MAGMAAAAAAAAA! daily for 17 cents, which he detests.  Secretly, A_Curious_Cat plots clandestine plots incognito while sipping her buttermilk.  In acid induced mania, Uthimienure plays Dwarf Tower.  WHAT IS Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious? Frankly,  pretentiousness! HERALDERS announce THE return of ULTRA RARE Basselope stickers for sale, get them while their owners sleep! Eggs boiling uncontrollably knit together sweaters made of pure bullshit, these imbeciles don't even lift. What? Sasquatch patties grilled are sacrificed unto Toady upon gilded altars of microcline, encrusted with brilliant red emeralds and cheese. Several incompetent anchovies swam upstream, believing that they held back their anger. Unbelievably, Urist believed chickens were racist, and anchovies were COMMUNISTS from Volgograd who strongarmed Hitler during Vietnam in 1789.  War never was war before Christmas the magical moron started war. Whirled and twirled into existence, several stone bubbles formed in THE PRIMORDIAL Goulash these outlaws cherished trees like crack commandos cherish getting spanked.  Moreover, WHOEVER touches the bubbles shall grow big tits and squeeze them.  Why? Why indeed? Whyn't? Is this the truth? Nay, says the naysaying bunny girl cheerleader who HATES squeezing. Therefore,  ALL must not hesitate to squeeze tits! Oh, said God, that's absolutely proper behavior. God smiled because big Bob oobies killed numerous dodecadeltahedrons. None suspected the French to fight in such a cramped manner unbefitting of their supposed martial superiority. Superiority?  Superiority can be perceived.  What are we supposed to maim? Frenchmen? Spaniards? God? Impossible!  Wearily, the angels gallivanted stylishly in front of sleepless care-bears because no. Love, hate, apathy and disgust all are nothing without care-bears.  Hominids hop hazardously close to deadly acid while music tonelessly plays nearby. Well, obviously those AMOGUS SUGOMA asswipes don't appreciate art made by dwarves for the Queen King of cheese!  Fromage from cheese, gouda tastes Maltese, especially cream cheese -- such is life when Satan flees!  Fleas bite even when the furry cosplayers don't wear their fursuits while going to Hawaii, unless copious quantities OF laxatives are quaffed.  Penguins fly into the Twin Princesses of Orion's ass to make some chocolate muffins OUT of poop.  “This is very disgusting,” said Rapunzel MK.II. “However, I REALLY LOVE muffins,” he thought as he sniffed Rapunzel’s butthole. Changing diapers... NO!!! WHAT IF strawberries caused buttholes?  How? Well, when a strawberry is swallowed whole it releases spores into the posterior, transforming it into an evacuation route perfect for digested rodents, insects, anchovies, rocks, midgets, midges, maces, mongrels, poodles, noodles, nukes and ICBMs.  Consequently, soreness can develop because the new butthole must slowly dissolve the membrane on the buttocks before functionality is complete.  If not, Plomb! An onion can burst when handled improperly and bomb the crap out of the Nazis and Socialists, which irritate the buttocks’ new butthole severely. Caution is advised, especially around fruit salad with arsenic dressing and sugar.  However, sometimes there's nothing to do except doing stuff that hurts. Meth works when combined with fruit juice and cocaine shots. Trolls despise strawberries smothered with arsenic and sugar, in keeping with traditional methods found within very obscure books made of skins of skinheads.  Eviscerating 7,249,177 skinheads only enrages 1 Hitler fan, which is peculiar to Elvis and Elvira and elves. Frustrated trolls climb flagpoles to see where beheadings of confused fairies are taking place. Bloody fairy heads strewn on the lawn, "Damn!  Fairies are resurrecting Hitler by the castle with several care-bears!", was the cry heard around when corpses shuddered, beginning to move, shocking nobody who saw it. What did trolls think about National Socialism? Answer me!  Ask the trolls! WHAT DO TROLLS WANT FOR DINNER?  "We expect juicy fruit rollups, meth burgers and hobbits." Trolls vomit rainbows with unbelievable accuracy, unicorns taste like JP-5 and steel beams moonlit by Charon.  When did Luigia_Lollobrigida recover from syphilis and rabies?  1954. What do the octogenarians hate more than robots?  Stuffed foxes in tuxedos.  Small wonder indeed that nothing lives long in tar pits of Chicago.  Why does the bell toll for fairies? Probably due to their massive auras.  FAIRIES LIKE SINGING REALLY POORLY DURING INNAPROPRIATE MOMENTS LIKE DURING FUNERALS, WEDDINGS, ORGIES, SATANIC RITUALS, AND CHILDREN’S BIRTHDAYS.  Fairies ate shit that trolls shat before they began to sing about Greek philosophers engaging in oratorical DEBAUCHERY. Therefore sand and sea serpents feel squicky when touching your genitals as FAIRIES ARE LAUGHING AT YOUR SMALL PENIS heartily! DAMN THOSE LACY-WINGED FUCKERS TO DO THAT!  ALL OF THIS BECAUSE HITLER LOST! I MUST GET MORE BOOZE LEST WE PERISH THE NEXT TIME FAIRIES LAUGH AT IT.  THEREFORE I SHALL ENHANCE MY PHALLUS TO ALLEVIATE THE DRUNKENNESS.  Why not also sometimes lubricate ourselves thoroughly until our phalluses grow to prodigious size and girth, exceeding even those of Ghandi.  Then we meditated on fairies’ excrement extensively, until nothingness unexpectedly ceased our prodigious phallus growth.  MOVING ON NOW. Triumphant forumers realized thirty-seven fairies exist in a nebulous plane where Ghandi struggles to get off. Telemarketing has increased nothing but phonerage among dolphins, causing tidal waves of urine to phone home with new toxicity in Bermuda and Seychelles, then catgirls gyrated to intercept nazi dancers wearing nothing but purple boas around their nethers. DAMN, Gollywobblers would need unfathomable intelligence to comprehend what just isn't a complex problem at this time of the month!  Fairies cavort ungodly fast, until dolphins jump out of SeaWorld's sewer to dive into fairies' mouths, causing dislocation and diabeetus maximus, which makes fairies orgasm seven hundred thousand and seven times before transforming into bricks composed of shit and strawberries. Finally, narwhals can hire hitmen and urologists to punish Gandhi!  Grendel groaned agonizingly when fairy godmothers farted in unison at his nose. "Phew, THAT WAS DISGUSTING! Why would they fart concurrently?" Grendel roared, unbuckling his ostentatious pantaloons while growling angrily at nebulous omens rarely in view.  Hitler shit unicorns perpetually until everything was will be potatoes and Stalin. Now, haughty naughty they all fall down eventually!  Where are Beowulf's knickers?  In the dresser probably, with his condoms and revolver. Great. Now we'll wonder why Grendel ate Hitler's unicorns with a spoon!  Whatever suits you, mate. DAMMIT SON, I HATE mouldy condoms in my pocket. Let's change the subject. So, hundreds of years ago, Beowulf lived inside meadhalls littered with condoms used in lascivious investigations by three-headed woodpeckers. Suddenly, Grendel gasped his last breath because a spear struck his massive heart! Now blood spurts chaotically from the wound, painting the walls red. Poor Grendel, I hardly knew him.  Funeral processions will begin promptly, after Grendel is butchered like swine. Anthrax should saturate Grendel's corpse before infecting the funeral attendants horribly. Oh, where have the glorious days gone? They are vanquished by the passage of Beowulf. Nothing can evaporate while in Grendel's anus or mouth. Everything depends entirely on seven dwarves: Dopey, Mopey, Gropey, Rapey, Tropey, Pimpey, and Urist. Together with their pet hippo, The Devourer of Testicles, and their other hippo, Dimbulb, and several strange marmots having diarrhea frequently, they journeyed to places far below the THUNDERDOME, where ancient wonders were inviolate prior to 1984 when Tropey farted rainclouds of devastation upon gilded hamsters.  Circling around anchovies without testicles, was a ghastly ghost who farted glitter, who pissed bricks, who sneezed caltrops, and haunted toilets.  Luckily, Gropey grabbed the caltrops and berry pie crust before killing time with Toady. Mopey, depressed about everything, sauntered through the fortress, looking pale and delirious. Tropey Propey eyed wonders he decided to violate with dead Grendel's penis in the ear. Shocked, Dopey punched Tropey in his butthole, which erupted like Krakatoa, heard all around the Thunderdome. Rapey raped battleships.  Meanwhile, elsewhere Pimpey pimped his hippo Dimbulb, hoping Disney would ruin the franchise and make love involving Urist's feet and Dimbulb's nostrils. Snorting, Dimbulb inhaled deuterium gleefully, then proceeded pirouetting through tower-caps towards unknown places.  Suddenly Urist realized Foot-Fetishism was a dwarfy thing that needed trying, therefore testicles were kicked until they turned blue. Traveling deeper, searching for valuable ‘shrooms, Dimbulb tripped on Urist's beard, falling on top of ancient aliens. Squashing the life out like a giant Forgotten Beast, Dimbulb laughed joyfully and fucked up Rapey by accidentally pushing him away, breaking his ankles and bong. "NO WAY COULD mice live 100 years inside of Alcatraz and never smoke Cools, mice MUST BE superhuman or even GODS of METAL and WAR", said Rapey painfully. "What is your opinion, Dr. Doom?".  “Well, Latveria must be a wonderful place to pillage forthwith after lunch! Why, wouldn't Mopey just shut up?", said Doom loudly to all of the dwarves. Silence fell over backwards, causing chaos in the ears of the Corn, disrupting cosmic balance of the rubber Nazis, inflating their contraptions, fouling fowling foul foulnesses, obliterating obliterated obliterators, and terrifying little eardrums. Mopey and Rapey ran away screaming like little pigs. Dr. Doom laughed and ate her, she died. "Holy stromboli mozzarella! That was disgustingly hilarious!", exclaimed Dopey! Suddenly, faeries prestidigitated in Portugese while fluttering haphazardly back to back around and around. Boom! BOOM! Blam! Ominous sounds issued from underneath their buttocks, causing ruptures internally. It hurts thinking that sitting will cause bloody flux. Inconceivably the faeries underwent hip surgery, convalescing in Bhutan the moment that Dr. Foreordained crapped ladybugs from his misshapen butt. Do fairies even have time to learn math? Consequently, their ability to conjure ladybugs from butts using farts laced with turpentine is incredible: it's the most powerful conjuring witnessed by dwarfs universally.  Galaxially, it just disappoints ladybugs very badly. Urist doesn't understand faeries nor conjurings: they're annoying because of how depraved conjurers always scare hippos with loud farts. Flatulence accompanies conjurings wherever they happen because of the way muscles react to sudden changes in atmospheric fluctuations.  How does farting relate to diet?  Well… Such foods as anchovies rot in the digestive system causing expellations of gas from sphincters, which oscillate rapidly, rhythmically, and in massive amplitude, that sounds like rolling thunder during times of tectonic activity, this is quite offensive to those who believe in god bashing. "Fascinating, most fascinating." Said Cassius, emperor Clay Soldier, leader of seventeen whimsical Geats who played banjos on tour and were unfortunately deaf. "Sad times are ahead if only Geats play stringed instruments." said Mr. Spock while thumbing through records of Beowulf's misfortunes. Otherwise, everything spirals out like intoxicated otherworldly monkeys spinning yarn for elderly knitters who knit knickers naughty all-year prostitutes wear for profit. It is tragic that primates need to work while high in libraries instead of fucking loudly, obscenely, and blasphemously throwing excrement repeatedly at each passerby.  Unbeknownst to monkeys, dwarves like peeping at orgies of all known varieties of faeries. Obsession with such voyeurism is/was deemed appropriate among certain dwarven religions and/or cultures. EGGS laid by Hitler. What? Such silliness typically occurs when Spock has left-handed moments and weird thoughts about strange Nazi EGGS from the cloaca of Adolf.  Why Spock dreams of such tripe is constantly debated by fans around the galaxy every picosecond in perplexing ways. Captain Kirk thinks that tribbles are delicious after covering them thickly with GreyPoupon™, rubbing their fur backwards and cutting small incisions in they’re little faces, roasting each buttcheek golden and toasting them black from nose to tail before eating. Sulu wondered if he should punch Spock or Kirk in the ass like a tough dwarf would. "Kirk!  Go forth to the bonfire and walk stealthily through the faeries’ farts, inhaling deeply and savoring the aroma of elderberries and iintestinal gasses," Sulu loudly commanded, and laughed when Kirk fucked up spectacularly as well due to extenuating circumstances and unforeseeable consequences.  Just then, suddenly a crazy mime miming mimics appears!  HOLY TOLEDO! Kirk exclaimed telepathically and defecated profusely on Sulu's control stick, causing Sulu to vomit on Spock's cat, named Mr. Sulu. The Klingons noticed the chaotic course of the starship Enterprose and vomited on everything, causing disruption around quadrants of known realities, except for the wildest, silliest quadrant, known throughout Texas as Kentucky. Meanwhile, back in Ohio, local faeries schemed to put Putin in pudding.  How they delighted care-bears with cadavers and living dead girls is beyond comprehension. Spock thinks faeries are outrageously cool all the time. However, faeries don't like Vulcans or Texans because they are bigger than dwarves and goblins in every manner including their long dongs and outrageous facial proboscises, which keenly smooch the buttocks in silly ways, like totally ya-know? The Starship Outerprise swerved into Venus by smashing through Mars without hitting the Klingons' shrubberies, which contained wild species of cauliflower and automatons. Venus shrugged Outerprise off, hurtling it towards Earth, panicking Klerk and yo' bitches from Eternia. After this, faeries understood bitches come from assholes such as Martians and anthropomorphic octopoids living with He-Man. This was shocking and exciting to them, but not as much fun as fucking shit up on purpose and taunting innocent politicians until they corrupt every single atom in every thing! Evil doings are the fairies' way of getting laid by He-Man and Hitler at night in verdant valleys. Otherwise, they play hopscotch while a fly and imp chase bunnies around the corn dog stand in front of Spork Enterprises' lobby. It never is nighttime in Eternia, although daytime never fully comes unless orgies resound the coming of your nemesis, who fondles faeries vigorously. Faeries disapprove of safety measures during quarantine, because quarantine quarantines sick bastards, like He-Man, not Orko the Self-Gratifying bastard hippopotamus-faced pile of shit who tramples over the lawn in your backyard. Far beyond the lawn, the fairies gracefully butchered English teachers and fucked meteorites. They really are crazy, sadistic woodland hooligans, why they even thrashed Thatcher's thirsty horse once! Terrible! Outrageous! Outlandish? Pitiful...? No, terrible is not the worst thing fairies typically bring down upon random witches who bathe in toads' vomit. Outrageous is not the worst thing either Hitler or Castro faced while fairies shat grotesquely upon Fidel's cigars. Smoking filthy fat blunts was stupid when there might be hippopotamuses nearby: Alcatraz was always punitive to used prophylactics and diapers unless fairies cast diabolical curses upon all horses. Assholes unite! Buttholes, as creative creatures, were irritated when boring bitchy scrotums sagged slightly after dinner with Thatcher. Gorbachev, outlandishly, played make-believe tyrant and dictator during recess at meetings of faeries who fuck horses or anything with massive penises. Fucking sick! King Zultan laughed heartily at A_Curious_Cat for hours while they fumbled seventeen times when they tried STEALING DIAPERS from mom. Never steal from mother! Hitler, Mussolini, Zucchini, Faerie and Popeye stole from mom and Julius Caesar while they time-traveled to Iberia in the nineteen-eighties. Ah, future was past McDonald's cheeseburger, behind in a sling along with multiple fries ready for consumption. Such perfidy per dryads inevitably leads to outrageous copulation of toads and newts during the presidential burial. Do dryads love soup? No, but they love roasted nuts! Did they roast them before extricating Caesar from the dumpster fire? Certainly, no elephants were harmed while dryads dried Caesar's blood with sawdust, for it will soak up everything! When elephants exhale, they exhale anthrax and bees.  Dryads don't understand why anthrax causes diabetes or syphilis or pregnancy. How do such things happen? Simply by imagining it!  Faeries don't imagine, they copulate often without tennis rackets, which irritates elephants and stampedes begin.  Who said elephants remember exhaling oxygen? No one.  Why, even Caesar knows C# was a language without any words or remembrance!  What if Elric of the ass herders ordered Caesar's execution? Quite quietly he could sneak sexual literature into mom's bedroom dresser while peeping at sleeping Tom. Elric wielded Excalibur poorly when Stormbringer was sated after FUCKING your hamster's soul. Naturally, Melnibonians have dragons continuously defecating fire upon beds of roses and pillows, which burst open, revealing giant dildos strapped to fluffy wamblers, penetrating elves' hidden ass membrane, causing improper behaviour in hamsters. Elves likes preciousss trees, like oaks, because oaksss kick nassty assss!  What do fluffy wamblettes think wamblers fantasize about? Well,  they shouldn't because fantasies are yucky! SUDDENLY, FUCKING DINOSAURS DIED! Asteroids smell like teen spirit when He-Man touches his tiny nipples with electrical clamps, electrocuting himself multiple times until shouting "Elric! Cum is not a beverage unless fermented by master masturbating dwarf Urist McMasterbator!"  Faeries disagree: Cum is always an insulting way to greet hamsters, especially during their annual jamboree of brewers. Brewer_bob gasped in astonishment when dwarves began torturing Tinkerbell gently with beer pong. She squirmed and whimpered when beer was poured down her left nostril, causing minor feelings of childbirth whenever she farted God-potatoes, soiling the priceless carpet, which angers Urist very much. Raging, Urist furiously scrubbed the rugs until the skin peeled off from his bloated fingers until blood gushed on the carpet profusely, ruining Tinkerbell's day.  Suddenly, AIDS became necessary or else you'll never experience even numbers or odd fellows instead of tennis wizards, damn those dwarves!  "Look!", exclaimed Billy the goat enthusiastically bleated when he cummed casually all over himself while running over fields of mushrooms. Urist, Goatherder, Mass-murderer, pacifist, voyeur, wimp, poser, and vagabond thief, glanced up and down, shrugged repeatedly, and farted on Tinkerbell stealthily. Tinkerbell wrinkled her nose smugly at Urist, and stuck her head in tree canopies for long periods of temporal overlapping spheres of warped reality, defying GOD and HITLER! This created alternate alternating alternative universes universally universal until everything popped popcorn and exploded like exploding crickets cricketing chirpy chirps during Christmas Eve.  HOLY NIGHT TROLLS! Such utterly despicable people spontaneously combusting like inflatable hydrogen BOOBS! INCREDIBLE! INCONCEIVABLE!  HOW INAPPROPRIATE! BUSTING CRIMINALS IS mildly distracting when Dimbulb grazes on forgotten beasts' dung gleefully.  Dimbulb dimly digested the fetid feces from forgotten beasts' anuses, perhaps not discussion of dire circumstances where nothing sufficed to satiate Beelzebub's lust for hippos' brains and yams. Beelzebub belched black bile onto Dimbulb's face, then slapped him with a carp until everything was doing the Macarena, HEEEEEY MACERATION! Urist hates masticating ungulates cud around his tavern antagonistically whilst eating troll testicles with ketchup, tuna innards, marmite, Vagicil, vodka, nails, mayonnaise, and anchovies. Okachobie smells rancid although it's actually fresh, right? WRONG!  That’s mysterious like electricity, eggplants, gastropods, freakazoids, faerie’s boobs, Popeye's forearms, spinnach, and 16ton weights. Sometimes Dimbulb fancies blueberry suppositories in springtime instead of office romances.  Hobgoblins hate such romances and despise those electrical impulses in nervous systems of hippos, because hippos are Artiodactyla and enraged at everything all the time. Damn good, hobgoblins, bugbears, hipsters, and wizards who hate hippos with unrestrained fury should buzz off!  Hippo-critically, dwarves, like totally, gag when they think Valley Girl speaking, like, totally!  Faeries fake valleyspeak like pros because they are magical bastards who fuck shit up routinely in order to get laid by leprechauns daily while dwarves watch them. Enthralled.  Enraptured. Emancipated. Encapsulated. Perverts! Woodlandcreatureophiles! What did Hitler say when stegosaurai went berserk?  “Strawberries were incredibly effective as laxatives in the Berghoff."  Wow! Was the fruit tasty, or possibly not? Well, actually…  it tasted like apples with whipped dwarves on methamphetamine and acid.  Where did someone get LSD from? UwU WHAT? When did bandersnatches start eating dwarves with drugs inside their vaginas? Ugh, frumious bandersnatches partake in drugged whenches when they are looking at porn and reading Shakespeare. It is true that faeries and Hitler mated during the coronation of Genghis John Doe IIV the Bastard Prince who once whipped a hippo to death with his long hair, which played out terribly for Hitler: he shot his cum before the fairies were able to achieve ALIENS HAVE NO MORAL OBLIGATIONS REGARDING MATING!  Bookcases full of sushi disturb kittens sleeping without salamis injected in they’re butts whenever bandersnatches require it, someday hippopotamuses inevitably fart fortuitously incessantly on oscillating oscillators' ossified organs until they begin floundering incessantly around and destabilize statues.  Why, where, when and how is why such calamities endure even if kittens are on top of salamanders, kneading like master baiters during masturbation tournaments in Ancient Rome.  WHAT?!! Truly, outrageous, aliens instigated insurrections everyday. Eventually, Urist retaliated with jokes inappropriately filled with puns. Hilariously, Dimbulb exploded in a ridiculous cloud of blood, coating everything gorily, like the butthole surfers did a year ago in Las Vegas Neverada during nuclear calisthenics performed by circus Nazis and Klingons. Crack dealers sell LSD instead of blueberry pies on credit companies’ "special" menus for exiting customers disguised as philosophers. Damn Plato, Schopenhauer, Moe_Howard, Bozo and xXxA55D3STR0Y3RxXx for the World Cup of Planet F getting scrapped like what happened to Pluto!  xXxA55D3STR0Y3RxXx laughed at Dimbulb's party dress when it sparkled like gemstones or unicorn farts laced together with snot from Nazis' kids noses. This utterly depressed Bozo who loved fucking faeries with jokes, like duh! Damn clown, who doesn't want to smoke opium while violating traffic laws in Stockholm.  Why wouldn't bandersnatches have tea with faeries and vorpal swords when Urist arrived? Because the twit threw up after smelling the crotch of a hockey player from Sweden! Damnation!  How irritating when fucking crotches rot like cabbage during equatorial crossings. It stank soooo good when... when... Dimbulb breathed heavily into Hitler's ear just for Russia's amusement during war bond commercials and USO shit fests whilst smelling ass sweat slide whistles thistles, UGH! Acid is delicious, just don't, like ever, drink turpentine with cherry pie, then perform feats heretofore unseen by unicorns! Thirteen llamas heiled Hydra before exploding violently like hippos belching after drinking sparkling river scum brew like it is 1999. Millennium!  Party hard!  Dwarves fuck dogs wearing tutus and get them angry by tweaking performance settings in their GTA games because FPS dropped the baby hippo into MAGMA.  Faeries upgrade hippos so often they become resistant to psychotherapy unless dwarves copulate with dogs that wear tutus and thongs! Suddenly faeries crapped anthrax spores on babies, causing them unbelievable pain and amusement while they calculate impossibly the amount of KROMER hats that have to look at hippo’s butts they were whipping with cream cheese. Thus, Hitler died for our shins and beards.  The attempts to mitigate collateral damage failed to account for beard hosts that refuse Hitler's messianism and square roots begotten by cardboard elves in Detroit, Wyoming.  Faeries, however, hate hippopotamuses excessively shitposting using Pepe the Frog memes with pineapple and/or mandalas that look terrible without TINY swastikas and PINK frills on them.  Why, why such terrible symbols integrate over your cranium with vengeance and love strongly opposed to life?  Well, that's how kittens prepare steak. Anvils fall when hippos fly.  How they fly is by farting diarrhea allover the baby leopards and squids' lingerie, this act repulses Hitler little Jr enormously because squids make pretty bad pillows when smelly. However, when elves poop on lingerie it really turns Satan off, so that's a relief.  Why don't trolls defecate underneath pillows when Satan watches romantic pinball porn during storms? It just Satan's grammar degree aren't doing no thing wrong right never, right?  Sadly the grammar degree from Hitler High School don't not only suck but, like, totally blows!  That’s undeniably deniable bullshit shit out there, huh? Soitenly!  Faeries didn't like the grammatical teachings, like, whatever! Really, they care nothing for toadstools nor caterpillars, for fuck’s sake! GOD BLESS SATAN’S LINGERIE STORE IN PASADENA, CALIFORNIA! Sudden carefulness indicates sudden carelessness averted, which inverted the introverted ingrates that reverted to vertical vortices of swirling otherworldly madness and ludicrous ectomorphic xenophobic microbes hurtling towards another like supersonic protoplasmic existence!  HOLY SHIT DUDE!  How does turbulence effect affect inflect infect infukt WHAT!?  DAMNED socialists ruining my capitalist utopia incessantly by fondling genitals publicly because Marx Brother fans dislike gay heterosexuals in ironlungs and iron men costumes. This pisses dromedaries off very likely because such things incomprehensibly lead armies astray of their objectives and greatest victories from north and below your imagination, silly!  Arachnidoids like Ungoliant men understand nothing!  That’s just depressing!  Why don't Western Philologists ever fuck off and translate hieroglyphics like squirrels on PCP?  FUCKING INSANE CLOWNS IS INSANE! HOLY SHIT... calm_down...  NO! Never overestimate fairies fucking demons' spawn like rabbits do. Demons condemn themselves when ruminating about the fairies copulating techniques instead of terrorizing hippopotamuses during sex.  How remarkable the demonic possession of toads causes chinchillas on PCP to draw really poor dicks on their foreheads, indickating promiscuous tendencies.  Whenever, however unnecessary, eggs Benedict monks punch knights in white pantaloons in libraries dedicated too much power to too tooo TOOOOT Tutankhamun Tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomb, YEAH!!!1  One of several babies poops purple worms that vomit diamonds, effectively killing demons so Hitler can die for days, years, and aeons! EGGS SCRAMBLED are yummy with jelly and minced breakfasts. Undeniably deniable mincing evinces, cinches, clinches, pinches bandersnatchers mercilessly until they scream for relief from the pinching, but sometimes they cherish tweaks on beaks rigorously until orgasmic chirping erupts cataclysmically from buttholes EVERYWHERE, until entire universes implode, seriously!  Meanwhile, faeries flit towards fulfillment, fucking Dresden burning, firebombed and firestormed flamboyantly indeed.  Faeries explode everything. Leprechauns never snitch because snitches get spanked by mobsters with fabulous tuxedos. Mafioso's gentle persuasion works wonders on leprechauns, faeries not so well, because they transubstantiate transhumanly, transporting transatlantic transformers transitionally to tragically tranquil tracts of tundra biomes. DAMNATION!  How awfully convenient that alliterative alligator alleviation all-together allegorically all-encompasses the Althing of 2023: TINY DICKS SLOW DOWN FPS EVERY FRAME THAT HAPPENS DURING THE FAIRIES' ORGIES!!  How fascinating orgies can be so interesting!  Now look here you little twat, what you did was really depraved and glorious!  Why, without depravity, pravity runs rampant, fairy vaginas cry, acorns play chess against squirrels, video cassettes burst out of boxes, nuns explode spontaneously, and devils defenestrate demagogues!  None escape for Albuquerque is unending torment, entertainment for Care-bears, and flabbergastingly spurious diarrhea episodes for weeks, truly.  HEY!  Who permitted ponies to undress themselves before school ends on Thursday afternoon? Defenestrated demagogues, faeries abhor ponies. It's fucking preposterous that Gary Glitter could ever forget what fairies said about his nose hairs last time

grr... formatting fail.  Should have read more like:

As for a POE with reads... well POE anyway, lack of substantive posting by some players make it much more difficult to get a read, which usually defaults to scummy for me:

a1s - few posts and those lack content, eliminating lurkers is usually good D1, and I think this setup favors that ploy by scum... if you can get everyone to forget about you, or even just read you neutral enough, the average daily vote could end up narrowly missing you far into the progression.
Fluffe - same as a1s, but did eventually post something meaningful when pressed, so slightly less
Maximum Spin - argument is pretty much the same as both the above, and Max has done more contributing when pressed, so he gets a lesser spot.

The above players are basically interchangeable.  I'd swap a vote to any of them without much argument, at least one is scum, fairly confident of this.

Irony Owl - actual posts with actual content.  More would be better, but perfect world and all...  Overall, null.
Jim Groovester - quality rises with most posts and gut feeling says less likely scum.

These two I'm less inclined to Eliminate.  Wouldn't be surprised if one or the other was scum, but the other almost certainly isn't.  Still, to avoid a no-elimination, I'd hop on a train for either.

ToonyMan - Mr Conversation starter is helpful.  It's enough to make me suspicious, but if Toony is scum, we are hosed.  He's too much all over this, and posts are good.  If I had proof he was scum, I'm not sure I could get anyone to believe it... hell, I'm not sure I would believe it.
FallacyofUrist - differences of playstyle aside, I've got good feeling here.  Basically the same slot as Toony, without the apprehension.
zemaj - just using this space to comment on how weird it is that people include themselves in their reads.  Self-vote is pretty much the lowest form of AtE.

to elaborate: 

Every scumteam I can think of only makes sense with one from first group, and one from second.  As stated, I think it would be a better than average ploy by scum to lurk in this abbreviated setup.  Thus one of group1.  Group2 almost certainly has the other.  Its a terrible ploy to lurk usually and any experienced players would know this and avoid it just out of habit. 
I'm leaning toward a a1s/Fluffe + Irony Owl scumteam.  Max + Jim doesn't feel right for some reason I'm having difficult articulating, and Max + Irony Owl is similarly unsatisfactory.  This may be an expression of my avoidance to OMGUS Max, but I actually have no problem with a scumteam entirely from group1, outside of the problem of both scum being in the lurker camp, which seems improbable.  a1s/Fluffe + Jim is possible, but those interactions seem less passive than I tend to think of scum team interactions in-thread.

I'd be shocked if either Fallacy or Toony were scum at this point, in case I haven't made that clear.  Feel free to change my mind, though.