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« on: June 19, 2008, 04:04:05 am »
I started a fortress on a one-tile volcano - it had everything, water, magma, flux, chasms, and sand in 5x5. I was like, "Oh man, I'm gonna make the most super-duper fortress ever!"
Embark. You have located Somethingorother Gobbledygook, "Orbgates the Anonymous Hole of Janking", a cave. I think, "Well, that's a new one. Even better then. I can nab some cave creatures and have the best zoo in the world." I check the unit list for significant residents and find a Cyclops chilling out in the very bottom level of the cave network. Surely he won't even notice a few dwarves milling about six stories above.
Apparently, Cyclopes make up for depth perception with super-hearing, geo-vibration sense, and bad temperment. As soon as I unpause, he marches right the fuck of his winding pit and yells at my poor, optimistic dwarves to get off his lawn. I draft everybody, assign dogs, and order the attack.
Five real time minutes of watching a one-eyed hillbilly kick lawn gnomes later, the farmer is hiding in a crevice two screens away, the horribly mangled smith is praying for death in his brief moments of consciousness, and Mr. Cyclops is dragging himself around the map trying to nab the remaining kitten, with nothing to show for the fight but a weeze.
For some reason, it still doesn't compare to embarking on a haunted glacier, spawning right on a skeletal polar bear who ate the entire party one by one.