This place is a terrible mess! I can not even begin to properly describe how bad it is, but a picture of the sleeping accomodations may adequately illustrate it. Imagine trying to sleep in this muddy hellhole, which also doubles as our meeting hall. That means that it is at all times filled with 30 screaming kids, and various farm animals. I have not slept properly in ages.
What woke me up this particular morning is Radipon, who was beating the living daylights out of some children next to my bed. I will not tolerate this any longer.
RADIPON GET OVER HERE!
You are going on a mission with our military squad. Yes, I know you have no proper weapons or armor. Just remember that the greatest glory can be won on missions with terrible odds. No, stop complaining.
NOW GET OUT OF HERE AND LET ME SLEEP!
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Radipon! How unexpected, you have returned from your mission! now show me what you’ve got.
Ah EXCELLENT!
Dwarves in this fortress spend far too much time eating, drinking and sleeping and this is all terribly inefficient.
I’m not even talking about all the time it takes to produce all that food. The entire fortress spend the whole last year brewing booze for Armok’s sake. NOW CONSTRUCT A GRAND TEMPLE TO VESH so that everybody may read this slab, and we can leave this terrible inefficiency behind!
NO RADIPON, do not sneak off back to the sleeping pit, I have another mission for you. There’s another slab up for grabs, and this one is also not claimed by any particular person. GO, NOW!
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While Radipon was gone I had some time to make some observations:
Radipon’s husband’s ghost is haunting the fortress, and scaring everybody in the metalcrafting district, his rotting corpse is in some stockpile near the farms. No wonder that Radipon was about to snap.
Also a planter made an artifact armadillo bone door and has now turned legendary in bonecrafting. This is most useful. ---
Ah Radipon
my friend! You are back again! You will love your husbands new coffin, I had it made just to let you know that I appreciate all your efforts here. I see you also brought the second slab! EXCELLENT..
Now let me see your mission report
Wait what? You murdered DWARVES? Where did you get that second slab??
Oh shit.
NOW DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! It’s just a minor detail that I overlooked when assigning the mission! I’m hired to produce valuable goods, not to uphold friendly relationships with our neighbours!
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Migrants have arrived. (aparently minednotches is not from our parent civ.) There is a complete team of medics, they probably expect to have glorious career opportunities in this fortress. Other than that, there is nobody with any relevant skills. On the plus side, they brought no children.
Apparently one of the military dwarves took her baby along on the military missions. The baby learned some bad habits while on the mission; this morning I was ambushed in my sleep by the little critter.
I JUST WANT TO SLEEP PEOPLE.
