Bay 12 Games Forum

10/13/2010: Diversified the dwarf mode troubles a bit, he he he. I should be back to postable stuff after today.

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What? That... Okay, should I be nervous?

Okay, I know this is a bug.. but this is epic.

Dorf Babies fight back!

In what other game, ever, will you see an infant attempt to attack something that their mother is fighting, I ask you?

My first fort under the new version. Origionally, this was emailed to a few friends of mine who I'm trying to rope into playing. Attempted to edit it so as to remove the references to them, but well, it's written for that audience, so apologies if it seems odd to you guys, or explains things needlessly.

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So... My dwarves are doing their thing. Digging away wildly, building things, and generally getting set up. Just in case, I recruit 3 dwarves into my military to figure out the new military stuff.

Then, to my delight, I find an amazing and extensive cave network beneath my fort. You've seen Lord of the Rings, yes? Moria? Wow, amazing underwater pools, caverns with growing mushrooms and small cave spiders that produce VERY valuable spider silk (the small spiders are harmless.)

Next thing I know, my dwarves keep doing, and find TWO FREAKING TROLLS. One proceeds to take about 20 minutes slowly torturing one of my miners to death. He kept strangling him, getting bored, and stopping... The miner would get up, only to get strangled again. These were two female trolls, by the by. Ugly bitches, fat, huge, with black skin, wrinkly. One had golden eyes and a very clear voice, apparently. O_o

She, the clear voiced one, RUNS up the stairs into my main fort and begins to harrass.... everything. Dogs attack her, but she shrugs them off. My new and inexperienced military attacks her, and proceeds to fight her for an hour. Meanwhile, she's charging into and throwing dwarves everywhere... AND REGENERATING. She's forming scars and shit, got bruised lungs, and is torn to hell and back, but my dwarves couldn't kill her.

Just then, a GIANT CAVE SPIDER comes out of hiding, and proceeds to begin raping the tons of dwarves that, for some reason, decided to run down into the deep and claim all the items off of the miner that finally died. The ltitle fuckers decided they'd better go get that shit, because, apparently, they didn't want the trolls to get it. So they're getting stuck in a Giant Cave Spider's webs and eaten.

At this point, I decided to move on to a new fort... but this will certainly make an interesting entry in my world's history... O.o

Maybe I'll go in there in adventure more and try to kill the (now) named dwarf-killing Troll and GSC.

<wince> So.. New version, new ways to die. Oh my gods, I didn't expect that. Oh, and Trolls can destroy doors when they go through them... So there was no stopping these wenches. Ow.

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By the end, the troll in my main fortress had her tusks and horns broken, but she'd ripped the crap out of most of my dwarves when I finally decided to abandon. All in all, a WONDERFUL first experience. Note to self: Get weapons sooner. Wrestling Trolls with 5 inexperienced dwarves? Not gonna happen... but lots of neat wounds all over. Seeing scars form on the Troll DURING battle was pure badass, too.

So, I decided to try out the new development release., genned a new world, and established:

Glimmerfortress the Legendary Gear-Song of Treasures

The first two seasons are completely uneventful, really. Standard getting to know-the-countryside and mountain they live in. This site was unique for me as it's my first site where 90% of the water on the map is frozen for 3 seasons out of the year, and there is also a crevice.. Possibly a bottomless pit, I'm not sure, so this will have many new attributes for me to play with... The mountain itself is VERY steep. I wanted to see how well the game would run with the new graphics and these additional burdens. It's also a 9x9 area. -- It's running great, by the by.

Finally, the traders get there.. All that manages to make it to me are 2 Dwarven mules... Fine, maybe they sent me a small shipment, no problem.

But hey... I don't have much to trade.. So I purchase a sack of seeds to use at my eventual dyer.. An investment, I feel... and on a whim, I purchase 1 nickel cage.

This is where things get unique. It was billed as 'nickel cage' and only appraised as being worth 20.

Lo and behold... I get it inside, open it up, and peer in on accident at some point, only to discover that, within, IS A DEAD CAT.


Now, is this some special 'free with cage' type of deal the Dwarves offer, am I being sent a message by the local Dwarven Mafia, or... or what?  Also... How do I remove said dead cat from cage?


Rion Wulfe

(Seriously.. WTF?)