Bay 12 Games Forum

oh! it doesn't fill the screen until you actually start playing, don't worry jsut try it!

you open the game and nothing happens, you start a game normally and everything is fine until your computer fan starts going crazy! you look at the task bar to find that the dwarffortress.exe file has spawned multiple firefox windows each leading to extremely deviant porn site.

any attempt to quit the dwarf fortress game leads to your computer crashing and a expertly carved picture of armok fills the screen leading to a message "the player has been possessed!". armok then proceeds to make a pile of anything shiny to sit sit on while he uses your computer to monitor his handy work.

the game consistently spawns a kitten in one location every 10 minutes. you think nothing of it besides the obvious "hey free meat and industry!". then 2 hours later you find yourself clawing at your eyes as yet another kitten has joined the fortress that is now sending your processor to an early grave. armok chuckles.

toady one desides to be very devious and decides to leave out vampires, zombies, and all the lycanthropes save for the one that turns all your dwarfs into straight up suicidal slugs. all fortresses then degrade quickly into one man fortresses because everyone else has been turned into a slug and accidentally walked on some rock salt. armok let's out a small laugh.

when you download the latest release a progress bar shows up on screen, you ponder wondrously as the thought of actually installing dwarf fortress seems like an okay thing. its taking forever however until you notice that your back ground picture has changed to a soul crushing black. your keyboard and mouse are unresponsive, you watch as the icons filling the desktop blip out one after the other, you hope this is some kind of sick joke that your room mate is playing on you. finally after nothing but the dwarf fortress screen remains on your monitor the progress bar completes. a message pops up "all hard drives reformatted, installing windows ME." you scream as you look for a cross, the star of david, or even a bible, something that you can use to get this foul demon out of the house as if your life depended on it. you come back with a tiny track expounding on the possibilities of keeping a positive attitude, your just about to drive a barn nail into the monitor when the progress bar finishes and you are confronted with a new message: "windows ME installed, overloading cpu in 3... 2... 1..." you jump behind your bed as you hear the processor fan go crazy, a vaguely electric smell fills the room as a thick smoke bellows from the infernal machine. your computer explodes as you sob screaming "i just wanted to play dwarf fortress!!!!" and of course: somewhere somehow armok laughs.

the game is horribly bugged in some way however the bug causes people to become obscenely addicted to the game as if they weren't already. toady publishes five thesis' on the exploit but nobody reads them because they are too busy playing dwarf fortress. donations skyrocket as toady and his brother buy an entire country, somewhere somehow armok who is now sitting on a pile of gold is laughing his arse off.

the carp won't kill your nobles no matter how many times you send them near the river.

since the problem has arose i did add a burrow from the top of the map to the dinning room and from the dinning room to past the 17th z-level. i added the file to the dwarf fortress file depository: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=5432 i think i did it right.

at this point i think i should mention that this hasn't been the only save that this has happened on, there's been a few times that I've tried to make an inflated depth of my fortress by skipping the first few layers and i ran up against this wall at the similar if not same depth. in fact one time i couldn't get my dwarves to build anything where i eventually had my miners digging out and they all starved because the miners wouldn't even come back.

in the game i would suggest that you try to finish building the stairway where I'm pumping the water away from it that's where i've been concentrating my efforts but my military also gets stuck after chasing beasts from in the cave into a pit that's on or below the 17th so maybe you could try to build some kind of construction in one of those areas and see if you can replicate.

i'm thinking about re-downloading the latest release and starting a new fortress to see if that has anything to do with it.

it'd be an awesome idea, the riches of taking on such a challenge would be great, like twelve veins of adamantine because your close to thirteen miles under the earth great. of course demon channels would be spread here and there and trap farms would be useless against almost all the enemies and if they want too if the fortress above gets overrun then not only will you not have extreme baddies coming from below but normal baddies coming from above, also no trade caravans.

deffinately worth the challenge!

i can see this, mutations or adaptations, the original 7 dwarves would be just some generic dwarves, from there if your in a particularly rainy area then maybe they could adapt to have more waxy skin, wheras if you embarked in a deserty hot place you would have more porous skin to suck in the surrounding moisture.

if this is implemented i would like to see it as if your dwarf is more adapted to the place then he will work better then say the migrant who just came to your desert oasis from the arctic.

i think it's a pretty nifty idea, and if you work it right you can trap some goblins in your entrance then flood it with the smoke created from their fallen comrade's weapons being smelted creating a never ending industry of war that ultimately ends in a fried cpu.

pretty much explains the iron industry on about five of my forts...