Ack, thanks for the reminder! I was watching the thread but didn't realize it was my turn.
I apologize very much for the quality of my write-up. I had a story I wanted to tell, of Rolan7 proudly admitting his "crimes" before the jury. Of being shocked by the violence of the LCS but realizing that desperate measures were necessary to end the conservative nightmare he lived in.
Instead, I played with the ninjas some and got harassed by the CCS and some crazy bugs. My writeup isn't organized at all, and I'm afraid I have no time to make it better. Here it is, spoilered to hide the ugliness:
On November 4th, Shawn Pierce was buying tofu, like he did every week, when he was approached by a bunch of Power Ranger cosplayers. The Green Ranger leveled a sword at him dramatically, and asked "Did you know people can have deadly weapons in this country???". Shawn, unable to keep a straight face, replied "Gadzooks! Something must be done!". "Cool, meet us tonight at the Insurance Agency" "Oooooookay"
By the 8th, Rolan7, formerly Shawn Pierce, was spraying graffiti with his friend Leroy and having the time of his life.
On the 10th, Leroy Shackleton was caught spraying and killed while fleeing. Rolan7 was also caught, and gave up after being shot in the right arm. Police used mp5s.
On the 20th Georgia Lovecraft was captured selling brownies.
On the 25th Kurt Tubbs shot a policeman twice in the head with an ak47, blasting out... the tongue. Then blew his arm off with 3 bullets. Then fled.
On Dec 1rst Georgia Lovecraft ratted someone out, I think Rolan7!
On the 2nd Team Ninja (lol) attaks the intelligence complex. Kills some agents and some other dogs. Is briefly pursued by a mailman, also some mercenaries, had to bail the car and fight (lolwut). Now the people know that the intelligence agency invades privacy! Also Grimith says more people oppose military spending now, more than half.
On the 3rd Kurt Tubbs gets caught again, this time there are two cops. Gets his lung blasted trying to fight, but has enough breath left to surrender to the cop he just shot three times in the leg. Yeah, that'll be a fun trial (haha, as if there'll be a trial).
On the 4th All the ninjas go car hunting.
Ninja black breaks a convertible's window before being spotted by two cops. Poor cops didn't stand a chance.
Ninja red waited until a policeman was walking by before breaking the window. We need this car to kill Agents, Ninja Red, there'll be time to kill cops later!
Ninja Yellow mistook a pickup truck for a sportscar. Crawled in through the broken window, stabbed the steering column a bit, then wandered off.
Ninja Pink found a vehicle, picked a lock, and hotwired it no problem! Too bad it was a "really cute" station wagon. Oh well, it'll last at least one assault before we ditch it.
Ninja Green refused to steal a sportscar because they get bad gas milage. Instead he found a SUV being given a parking ticket, smashed it's window, and beheaded the cop. Then ate a veggie burger, because MEAT IS MURDER!
The conservative newspaper claimed the cops had families. Psh, yeah right, and pigs can't talk.
Lord Grimith reports that the public is pretty well enlightened right now. The main issues are: only 53% want to prevent torture and oppose military spending, and only 3% hold the CCS in contempt. Well, that's understandable. You don't hold a charging tyranosaurs in contempt, you run the hell away! Still, if only we could find the CCS and cut them down to size.
The main squad decides that, even with public opinion strongly against child labor, it can't be allowed to continue. So they went to the oil refinery and freed some oppressed! One little girl, Jade, followed them around making little "woosh woosh" motions with her chain. Then she said "I wanna be a liberah when I gwow up!". Then the police gang unit shot her at the exit. Three times. Herbert Petermann (who had been thinking of adopting the little bundle of joy), fighting tears, carried away the dead child while the rest dispensed justice. One of the policemen shot her corpse again though, before getting stabbed A LOT.
The hammerers visit Birkin garment manufacturers. Frankie Bogart tried to pick the door, then everyone laughed and they bashed it in. The raid was largely uneventful: lots of workers freed, many textiles liberated, many machines smashed. The getaway... could have gone better. A mob "arrested" Frankie and Ada, and straight-up murdered Natasha Simpson. While no jail can hold our liberal friends, I'm a bit worried that the squad's first death happened under my watch.
Oh well, shit happens, case in point: WE'RE BEING RAIDED BY THE CCS!
Wow, it's the Tillinghast temp agency. Grimith's house. Where no one can fight. Good thing I bought traps for all the houses!
... Grimith managed to get shot by a crippled soldier. As did Nick. Ok, I don't know what we're keeping in this place, but apparently it wasn't important enough to guard at all. New mission objective: BUG OUT
Grimith, badly wounded, gets the army body-armor from the finally-dead soldier. The other army body-armor goes to Toby, who had better be halfway decent with that sword he's carrying (only real weapon we had). I put Nick in some clean clothes to simulate dressings, but really, he's not going to make it. The rest pick up some guns that were lying around, and take cover.
Then I realize we're being followed by like 20 healthy liberals. Following the "suspended animation" school of medicine, I swap Grimith and Nick out for fresh meatshields.
Er, at least I tried to. Something went wrong, I blame quantum physics, and now Grimith occupies slot 5 AND 6. Nick is no more. Right, well, back to rescuing our fearless multi-planar leader!
Nick's ghostly voice echos around the squad as they make for the exit. It complains a lot.
Grimith goes critical, so I try some more SCIENCE. Now he occupies three places, and won't shut up about his leg. "My leg hurts!" "Yes, that's because it's full of lead." "Give me a blanket!" "We don't have three blankets."
Well crap. Desperate, I tried "Disolve the squad." Predictably, the squad is now Grimith. 6 Grimith. All bitching incessantly with every step.
Um. Er. Well. Hear me out, I don't think Grimith is really dead. I think he's just gone to a better place. Or two. Or six. A place without giant flaming wheels, or conservative death squads. So uh, please don't kill me? OMG I hope this doesn't do to the squad what I think it'll do to the squad. Why wasn't this safehouse guarded?? Our leader died to a crippled soldier!
Ok, don't panic. The suddenly hyperdimensional Toby Daveson now leads the squad, armed with 6 Daishos and army body-armor. We'll could escape, that's for sure, but we can also kill every conservative demon in our base. It's what Grimith would have wanted (um, not that we're sure he's dead, mind).
Nick Sullivan has struck microcline. Ok not really but it sure seems that way.
Finally he's dead! Morale soars.
HyperNick is tested in battle against crippled targets. Result: All six of him get a swing. I suspect they share the same health pool, though fortunately that's untested.
VICTORY! Thanks to my ingenius traps, and abuse of the laws of physics, the Conservative Crime Squad is beaten back!
Wow this is bugged. I wait a day and it realizes Grimith is dead (LIES!).
Herbert is the new leader of the Liberal Crime Squad!
Toby Daveson is the new leader of the Liberal Crime Squad!
Dan Palmer is the new leader of the Liberal Crime Squad!
Zangi is the new leader of the Liberal Crime Squad!
Paige Vance is the new leader of the Liberal Crime Squad!
There are none with the courage and conviction to lead.... (I copied my save at this point)
A few folks left the squad at that point, but only 4, including Ninja Black. I saved the game again and decided to NOT TOUCH ANYTHING for the rest of my turn, since I think I messed up reality enough already. Besides, the public is like 90% behind us on every issue anyway.
(A week passes)
OH WTF the CCS is back, at the agency, again! Toby Daveson the Six is still defending (I left the bugged squad for you guys to check out). Ok, wish me luck...
Took out 4 crippled groups before being cornered by some yokels. Got all but 1 of them, who Lightly Wounded Toby with a molotov. The wound instantly cauterized though, the fiend was slain, and I'm left trying to figure out fire (never seen it before in this game). From a distance, as I am not a dwarf.
...
What's happening to the walls? It's burning the walls? Oh, shit. Evel Knievel time. Glad I'm near the exit.
...
That was... not the best plan I've ever tried. I think everyone following me got burned, and SuperToby got burned 6 times. Then ambushed. Burned shot burned shot shot. Farewell Toby, you will be remembered as a pioneer in hyper-dimensional liberalism.
Barbara Nagelberg To The Sixth Power let's loose with a stream of bullets. Specifically, two bullets, then they're all out of ammo. No worries, people who aren't in the active squad continue firing her now ammoless M16, the only M16 I have. I'm seriously considering setting this buggy save on fire. Barbara gets shot in the stomach, maybe she'll eat less groceries now. Well she'll definitely eat less groceries now (she got shot four more times and died).
Her sacrifice will not be in vain though. We fled the base, accomplishing two things. One, no more defending that stupid base from stupid conservatives. Two, the base is now a known CCS safe house, and a more competent player than I will be able to go kidnap some of them to locate their real base.
.... Except that the game finally gave up the ghost and crashed. Well, that's fine, too many liberals died anyway.
Tried again and drove them off. Ugh. I hope they don't attack again for... 15 days.
Game crashed again, a few days later. ARGH.
Went back to a less-bugged save. Moved everyone out of the sextuple-cursed Agency, into the Vasilsevsky apartments. So of course the Ford Insurance gets attacked instead, but there's an actual squad waiting there with swords, who cut up the crippled conservatives with ease.
A couple days pass, and reality seems stabilized! Hooray! Time to check the opinion polls! Surely the CCS, having been beaten back twice with ease (five times if you count other dimensions), the public holds them in the contempt they deserve!
Ah, but of course not. The 3% who once held the CCS in contempt apparently admire incompetency. 0% hold the CCS in contempt.
All this blood... this isn't what I wanted it all. It's time to take this battle to cyberspace. All idle liberals are now harassing websites to build their skillz.
Thus the final two weeks were passed peacefully playing videogames (:
Again, sorry I can't edit this any better. Family emergency of sorts ): Also, heh, sorry for getting some members killed, and for rambling about the weird party bug (Still in the save, it's the "Agency Defense" party).
I don't see what I could have possibly done to save Grimith without save-scumming him out of the attack. He was killed by a soldier *crippled* by traps, traps that I bought out of paranoia. I tried to switch him out, too, encountering the bug. I still feel bad about it though ):
