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Topics - Nerserus

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DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Awesome Detail

« on: May 05, 2009, 09:26:41 am »

I checked civ's to see what i was going up against, then i checked the "Chosen Warrior" civ ( it's a mod ) and i read this:

Osmmuk Ngobolsmo Ummu Sulo Ruler
Toslu Ozspomu Local Leader/Master Lasher
RAWRIEVIL Poyifefathe Efacirithesa Dark Elf Mageelf

HOLY CRAP. My adventurer is batting for the enemy?

I wasn't aware that when you "Retire as a peasent" it literaly means: You're now a peasent of that civ.

I'm appearently one of their recruits ( I could fight my OWN adventurer! ).

So...I'm now a soldier? It would be epic to find myself leading an army of Chosen Warriors ( Demons ) against MYSELF then loot the fortress in adventure mode.

If it's possible to fight your adventurers in this way. Then i'm off to get a good 50 well trained enemies to face me in fortress mode...WAIT, i could make an adventurer with "Vomit" for a weapon.

Lol, get raped by a guy with vomit... The oppurtunity for lulz is endless.

DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Crossbow glitch?

« on: May 02, 2009, 09:07:27 am »

My crossbowdwarf is on the same tile as a Orc Spearman ( Who is badly wounded i might add ) he's firing. But none of the bolts hit him. They simply disappear from existance without even scratching him. How can he miss thirteen times when he is on the same tile? The crossbowdwarf has the crossbow armed. Yet all bolts he fired, miss. And he isn't even attempting to defend himself in melee.

What the hell is going on?...

EDIT: Lol, couldn't pick a worse time for another ambush

. Marksorcs. Yeah, that helps a bunch. Luckily i had prepared for the dwarves looting spree. Noe phat lewt fur joo! Anywho, he got raped. He kinda, tried to crawl away with tons of bolts in his ass. Oh and i think he had a spear stuck in him...Yeah...He tried a futile escape. But funnily enough he COULD of made it...Except for no appearent reason he tried to crawl away from my fortress entrance. Even though he was right next to it and he had a chance of survival. "I don't like that fortress. I'd rather get filled with bolts, no thanks!" ( Crawls away and gets the crap beaten out of him ).

Tsk, Dwarves...Reminded me of Sharpe when the guy gets shot like, three times yet still crawls in the wrong fuckin direction...

DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / "Baby has drowned" a terrible tale of dwarven ignorance.

« on: April 29, 2009, 05:29:18 pm »

I need to release some GODLY RAGE!

Well, as you might have read in another thread ( Hey, that rhymes! Anywho ) that my axe dwarf Bomrek, got his leg broken by a thief...Yeah, embarrising, well, i tried to make a well to actually keep him alive. My miner was doing great, everything was going to plan. THEN. At the last freaking second, a child thinks it's a great idea to run inside the flooding well. Luckily he escaped and all was swell. Until: Datan Uristkib, Baby has drowned. Yeah. So, this "Caring dwarf brother" appearently went into the well with his baby bro, and kinda...Left him there...The miner not really giving two shits kind of carried on channelling ( I know i told her to but, i didn't even know it was in there and it was kind of common sense ) suddenly miner: "OH MY GOD MY BABY! HE IS DEAD AND IT'S ALL NERSERUS'S FAULT BECAUSE I DIDN'T SAVE HIM, YEAH, THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M STICKING TO IT..." Seriously. When i thought dwarves could not be anymore retarded, that happens. WHO LEAVES, A BABY IN A FREAKING WELL?

At any rate, the only annoying thing about Dwarf Fortress is that fortress mode is a brutal twisted blend of "Dwarves doing everything themselves" and "You cleaning up the mess and solving the inevitable problems", honestly, i never saw this coming, i may sound like i'm over-reacting, but so would you if you just saw a child go into a well, leave his brother there, then just casually walk away as he drowns. If that were not a child, me thinks chasm + dwarf = Splat.

EDIT: Slightly amusing note, the child has "Lost a sibling recently" ( Thats because you left him in a well you dumbass ), yet it says: ESTATIC!, i can imagine him talking to another dwarf:

Urist Mcmayor: "So what did you do after i iced an Orc thief with my bare hands?"

Urist Mchild: "Well, i threw my brother down the well, and he kinda drowned, i also saw the same bed i saw every day, and for some reason it kind of made me feel better about being a heartless retarded ass-hole. So to celebrate i got pissed and randomly talked to people about how happy i am now that my sibling is now 7 feet under water and we'll never retrieve his body.

DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Epic breakout manouvere!

« on: April 29, 2009, 04:01:55 am »

I captured an orc thief, i was about to throw him into my blendtech blender, so, my milker came and grabbed him, then he threw him in the hole. I thought it was all over. How wrong i was, i expected the three z level fall to crush his legs ( And it normally does ) but this orc didn't suffer a scratch and was quite cocky standing next to the weapon trap at the bottom, minding his own buisness. So i sent my note-worthy chosen warrior killer ( Chosen warriors are bad ass i mention ), Bomrek, who is armoured in full keen platemail ( Keen is a modded material, it's alot tougher than steel let alone iron ), armed with only his puny iron dagger, the orc jumped out of the hatch and Broke Bomrek's leg!, he then pushed him aside and ran down the hallway, if i had the choice i would of let him go just for being so epic. But nay, it was not to be.

He got down the hallway, then my mayor got him from behind, he punched him in the chest from behind, and he was badly bruised, he crawled on the floor for a second trying to get away, but the mayor inevitably caught up, and broke his spine, he then "broke" his liver, and crippled him one bone at a time until he died. Definitely deserves a monument to the greatness of the orcs. Smunstu Olngozastrur, badass thief.

DF Adventure Mode Discussion / Bows > Everything?

« on: April 26, 2009, 10:31:26 am »

Sorry but i need to release some of my rage here.

I've recently played in adventure mode, i was killing an entire town ( Like you do when you're bored, i do it all the time ) i had a set of ( Modded ) Dragonsteel platemail masterpiece quality. Which is roughly fourteen times better than iron, i slaughtered endless guards with my Ξ<<ΞIron MaulΞ>>Ξ, even the spearmaster never stood a chance. Suddenly, one unskilled archer comes from nowhere. BAM. Upper Body run through! I've been struck down.

This is a great example of just how over powered range is, one arrow. Just ONE, arrow. And i'm dead. Yet i killed a freaking DRAGON. I guess what i'm trying to say is, is there any effective method what so ever with dealing with archers? ( Except the "Prone Strategy" it always ends with you being a pin cushion or getting raped by melee guards )

DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Enemy mounts

« on: April 25, 2009, 07:35:32 am »

A few minutes ago i got attacked by a siege of Vampires (Modded), i captured one of their beak dogs. So, can i tame him?

EDIT: I've looked at the "Invader" tag on the unit list, if i cannot tame him, would it be safe to throw him in an animal pit, just like every other sieger?

FINAL EDIT: Nope, i HAVE, tamed him, but he is still an "invader". So...Yeah, bugged, still worth a shot though, maybe i could put a bunch of them in a pit and see if they breed a child which is allied to me.

DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / A funny thing happened...

« on: April 24, 2009, 11:17:10 am »

I had my first admantine artifact ( Worth over a million dwarf bucks

) and my mayor's Super Furnished House Of Awesomeness is complete, suddenly, i got this message: "The mayor and the miner have gotten married, congratulations!" the miner is a woman, that was a thought...Dwarf women: Best gold-diggers in the world

Anywho, a new mayor was elected, shortly after my miner "fell" into a chasm. Yeah...

At any rate, in all this was pretty...Weird, anyone else have something like that happen to them in their fortress?

DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Humans siegers suck! :(

« on: April 23, 2009, 08:41:57 am »

Ok now i really need to drop some F-BOMBS, it's happened again, although my millitary is epic. At the last, freaking second, the leader of my batallion needs a drink ( God forbid the fortress survival trouble this guy heh... ) So, what does the rest of the axe men do? Follow him. Leaving pretty much my elite crossbowman to deal with an entire army of horse-riding suku humans ( With katanas ). Needless to say, he got a few, and i was proud of how well he stood up against them, but ultimately. He got pwned. After my leader came back, things started to go a little bit better. The spearman walked out the door the same time the human swordsman leader came in, he got bashed to the ground...But survived, the human got his ass handed to him, this is where it went epic.

Instantly the rest of my batallion ( And a few guards ) charged the humans outside and it became a ferocious melee fight, blood and guts and bodies flying in all directions ( I applauded when one human swordsman got chopped in half ) though ultimately it was the retreat of the humans that spared my fortress. Hell i didn't even know they had problems with dwarves, this fort was supposed to TRADE. I guess they have epileptic hate against trading dwarves ( Jealousy of our superior trade skills ). Ended on a sad note, since the only survivor of the fight was a recruit, who had the following injuries:( I'm not making this up, i didn't believe you could Survive that sort of injury

)
Lopped off right torso side ( Yeah it's a mod )
Lopped off LEFT torso side
Broken abdomen
Broken pelvis
Mangled head
Lopped off right upper arm
Lopped off left upper arm ( Plus lower and hands, obviously )
Lopped off right lower leg
Lopped off Right lung
Lopped off Left lung ( Told you it was common Captain Mayday lmao )
Badly bruised duodenum
Badly bruised spleen
Mangled guts ( Yeah he's kind of drowning in his own blood )
abdominal aorta, mangled
Lopped off BOTH eyes
Mangled neck
Broken left ear, Badly bruised right
Broken BRAIN!
Tekkud Oslanaval, Axedwarf. RIP: 19th Hematite, 25, Early Summer. (Survived 7 turns, but inevitably died where he fell.

)

In all, humans are something to fear, if you don't know they hate you, and they have horses, you have about. Ten seconds to get everything sorted or you're dead. Anyway, i loved this fort, i wasn't even AWARE they hated me, literally, they traded just last year. I know which fort I'M nuking with cats next however

DF Modding / The unkillable wolf (Mod legendary lands)

« on: April 20, 2009, 02:03:46 pm »

I downloaded the legendary lands mod (it's pretty damn good i must say

) then i got this: A wolf who has lost BOTH sides of his torso. Yeah, i ripped off BOTH. That's right. BOTH sides of his ENTIRE torso, with my teeth. How the hell is he still alive? Broken Neck. NO Lungs, yet, he is "winded". I think that is the least of his problems. Only two legs left, badly bruise skull. Yet the wolf seems to be going strong. Really...I'm amazed i never knew ANY creature that does not have the nobreathe tag could survive with two mangled lungs. Let alone two DESTROYED Lungs.

DF Modding / Demons in demon mod... > Carp?

« on: April 15, 2009, 06:01:26 pm »

During a random fit of creativity, i wondered: what would dwarf fortress be like if i replaced all of the races with werewolves, blizzardmen and the like. Well the blizzardmen "Die from heat"

. Werewolves = pwned. And, the demons and the minotaurs...Are a...Match? Creepy...Anyway, i decided to go hunting fish, and i have found it, i have found the great equalizer to the carp: THE DEMON!

Their knack for fish killing pretty much means i'm safe from all but swarms of sea monsters.

They start off as legendary wrestlers, fly "into" the water, and wtfpwn the fish. The poor carp are frightened for their life (and looks pretty epic).

IF YOU GOT SUM CARP. AND IT AINT NO JOKE. WHO YA GONNA CALL?
TEH DEMUNZ!

( Or magma, that works as well )

DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Goblins

« on: April 14, 2009, 07:52:42 pm »

Yeah, i had the bright idea of taking them head on with my champion dwarves, y'know, had tons of traps, should they die, thats fine...The next thing that happened, seemed to be in slow motion. One champion got nailed dead in the face by the goblin axe lord ( i was shocked, he had full steel ) then, the champions pretty much did what they felt like doing, running around charging lone goblins, but i knew on the way was a squadron of marks goblins, and they don't take prisoners. Then, the damn PEOPLE are running OUTSIDE to grab the BONES!!! I forbidded drop picking, but appearently bones is something else ( great time to learn that now huh? ) So, 157 people, running in all directions, pfft, the goblins are going to have a field day. It will take a MIRACLE to save the people, ironically, my fort was fool proof in its defence, just a shame the fortress is run by fools...

DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / What the hell happened to this cave?...

« on: April 12, 2009, 06:51:05 am »

Dude! This cave is inhabited not only by a Giant and a bunch of Trogoldytes, but, it also has:

Conepirni, Alligator (Current Resident(?))
Lithrushborush, Cougar (WILD ANIMAL!?)
Nethithanmife, Wolf (Wild Animal)

Appearently the creatures that killed me in adventure mode are having a party, and my dwarves are not invited. The funny thing is: There are TONS of corpses of OTHER creatures that killed me in adventure mode (mainly alligators for some awkward reason) so...What the hell happened here? do creatures that become "famous" hide in caves like everything else?

EDIT: HOLY HELL, the alligator has a wound on EVERY part of his body, and the giant is missing limbs...What the hell is going on?