Bay 12 Games Forum

I'm not going to request a dwarf because it seems like it's full up, and I know it's hard to include/remember everyone and then write them up in stories.

Anyhoo, very, very great fortress. I've been reading it a few hours a night, and I have rarely laughed so hard in my life at some point. It probably makes me a horrible person, but I found the section of baby killing the most hilarious and grabbed the Haiku as my sig. This is probably the most cruel/gruesome/disturbing/hilarious fortresses I've ever seen, and I believe it's damned near topping Boatmurdered in epicness.

Great Work.

Beanchubbs looks at his dwarves and sees the dispute, and most likely violence, that will inevitably come. Having already taken a liking to the miners, he descends from his Godly perch once again, to bless his miners. He hardens their minds, to be resistant to the cats. He warns them that their above-ground brethren have taken to worshipping the cats, and they are not to be trusted. He tells them the weakness of their brethren. The cats. Through the cats, their mind is connected, and through this bond, they can be can be controlled.

Beanchubbs grants the miners immunity to cats.

Yeah, I've had three champions armed with shields and legendary in them taken out by a single elite boworc. Needless to say I was rather pissed/sad.

Then you could just mod their size and equipment to be like humans. Gigantor kobolds ftw.

Banned for being a psyhcic and knowing why my head looks strange.

Banned because I am not indeed obsessed with the show Family Guy, which is why I banned you in the first place

Banned for quoting family guy.

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The ending of the spring brought great sorrow to our fortress. I was looking at papers in my office, when Cerol, the champion, walked into my room with a grim look on his face.
"Sir, Wineslasher is dead."

"What?! What happened?"
"I don't know, I was walking past the barracks and the door was open. Usually the door was always closed, so I looked in, and he was lying there, with a huge gash in his chest. Whoever did it must have ditched the room to not get caught."

We questioned all of the military, from the recruits to the champions. No one spoke, so that was that. We gave him an honourable funeral, and set his body into the ocean.

Hillbo fired six shots into the air, and we said our goodbyes. A terrible death for such a great hero.

Soon after his death, Hillbo spotted some migrants, but from the North. That could only mean that they had come from the mountain home. And come from the mountain home they did, 21 of them in fact. We set them to work immedietly.

With summer, came the humans. They brought all the goods we requested yester-year. As we were bringing the goods inside, the orcs came. They must have been chasing down the human caravan, and thought they could take us. This isn't a human town! This is Cycloneaxes!!!!! (kicks human diplomat into the ocean) We eat orcs for breakfast! (not literally, they taste bad.)

Soon after my showing of our military might, the dwarfs elected me as mayor. I needed a bigger room. I needed chests, a cabinet, a weapon rack and an armor stand if I was going to be able to rule with authority. I've killed a rhesus macaque god dammit!!


Before the others even got the chests made, I was voted out in the place of some gem cutter. How dare they!

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It was a short update, but I thought it was at least  good enough to be considered an update.

I didn't really drown the diplomat, it was just for dramatic effect. The humans are actually really helpful.

I should be done with the docks soon, and I'm starting to build the soap construction.
I also started a few other projects that you guys requested, but haven't gotten very far in them yet.