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Messages - Haspen

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11731
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin III of Luathbas!
« on: September 07, 2016, 10:48:24 am »
You give Serinda a reassuring hug and then proclaim to your mother that if she is against a King marrying a runaway princess for no gain then she should apologize to your father. Your elven mother glares at you but restrains herself from commenting (or worse).

In few days time, Serinda becomes your wife after a small ceremony, but the news travel quickly and lots of noblemen and peasants alike celebrate.

843 AD, Autumn

Bad news arrive from around the Kingdom as the harvests were particularily terrible this year.

"We could strain our Treasury a little bit to procure foodstuffs from abroad before winter strikes, my liege." The advisor recommends, rubbing his chin. "Or, well, we could always order peasants and noblemen to do a little bit of fasting this year..."

A) Buy the foodstuffs, starvation is unfun.
B) Fasting populace means intact Treasury!

11732
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin III of Luathbas!
« on: September 07, 2016, 10:04:22 am »
You explain your motives and admit that she is right but that you also do this out of your own goodwill.

She hops off the horse and then you can see that she is actually almost a head shorter than you.

"I accept then, Houlandin of Luathbas. I am Serinda and I will be your wife."



"EXCUSE ME!?" Your elven mother looks at both you and Princess Serinda (sans Stjolf, who coincidentally disappeared just before you turned corner towards your mother's chambers) explain yourself in her bedroom.

"I will be his wife and he will be my husband." Serinda wraps herself around your arm. "And I heard he is only two years older than me, so it's a perfect match!" You don't get even a moment to do the math.

"Ethelwulf!" Aolineniya stands up from the chair and approaches you. "This is simply ridiculous. Not only she brings nothing to strengthen our country that is already so weak, but she is - from what I understand - on the run from the Kiwis? Your grandfather got murdered by them and there is ton of migrants from Kiwi Empire already. Call for the guards to find her atendants and have this girl escorted to the eastern border - you need a better wife than her!"

A) Deny your mother as you're King of Luathbas and it is you who ultimately decides whom you gonna marry!
B) Agree with her, apologize to the Princess and have her sent away with escort.

11733
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin III of Luathbas!
« on: September 07, 2016, 09:45:36 am »
You drop to your knee(s) and then do a speech laden with words that you heard in Stjolf's ballads, swearing on the moon and stars and all things mystical.

She looks down at you with contempt.

"Another jester that says honey-glazed words but wants to just use me like an item to strengthen his position. Did we not hear the same from the previous three, Hekar?"

"We did, Princess." The man agrees as Stjolf facepalms. "But please consider..." She waves at her attendant.

"Yes, I heard you." She looks at you again. "So do you really love a strange girl you never met thanks to 'love on first sight' phenomena or do you have some ulterior motive, Houlandin?"

A) Explain that yes, a Queen and a heir is what you and Luathbas need, but you wish to provide safe haven for her as well out of the goodwill of your heart.
B) Serenade her again, this time less dramatically and more truthfully.

11734
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin III of Luathbas!
« on: September 07, 2016, 09:29:53 am »
You identify yourself with your formal and regnal names. The girl's men murmur a little between themselves as the girl looks down at you.

"My princess, please note that we are scant on supplies and we already sold most of your family trinkets..."

She keeps looking down at you.

"He is a honorable and brave man, miss." Stjolf bows deeply. "Truly one straight out of heroic tale."

She keeps staring at you.

"Princess, is he not... adequate?" Stjolf's friend asks his princess, and she shakes her head.

"It's not that... I'm just waiting to see if he says that he loves me."

A) Explain that you need a Queen for the good of your country, and also for your courtiers to stop nagging.
B) Say that you need a wife to provide you heirs, or just one heir if she does not like you that much.
C) Tell her that you just want to provide her with safe haven, and all the rest is just a bonus for you.
D) Profoundly express your love in a dramatic way to impress her.

11735
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin III of Luathbas!
« on: September 07, 2016, 08:46:58 am »
Stjolf nods.

"Indeed. Mayhaps it will be that way, who knows?"

A week later, you are waiting with Stjolf and two bodyguards in a small forest. The dark silhouette of your Palace stands in the west, and the crescent moon shines on this particularily clear night.

Then you hear clapping of some horseshoes upon the ground.

Four men in dark cloaks, armed with (sheathed) longswords appear from the underbrush. One of them is leading a horse, upon which sits a lovely, albeit quite young, girl with bright skin and black hair tied in ponytails. You catch a glimpse of chainmail under her thick fur cloak.

One of the other men approaches Stjolf and they exchange pleasantries during a handshake.

"Who is this man? How would I know he is not my uncle's lapdog?" The girl asks suddenly, but Stjolf steps forward.

"Nay! He is not a hostile! His heart was moved by your Highness' flight, and therefore he asked me to arrange a meeting." The bard turns to you.

"But it would be a pleasantry to introduce yourself..." Stjolf pauses to pick proper words. "...mister."

A) Tell the truth.
B) For now use a name, maybe 'Houlyn' or something like that.
C) Say nothing.

11736
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin III of Luathbas!
« on: September 07, 2016, 08:25:37 am »
He tips his feathered hat and bows.

"Why, I haven't heard the last part of the tale, but all good omens seem to indicate that this could be the truth! I will ask my friend about that."

843 AD, Midsummer

After a performance during a feast, Stjolf approaches you and tips his hat.

"My liege! I have learned the continuation of the tale I told you about few weeks ago. It seems that one starry night under the crescent moon, shortly after Midsummer passes the calendar, the young princess on the run shall meet with a young yet powerful man in a forested glade near the palace of the King of Luathbas, far from whispering ears and hostile hands of her Kiwi uncle. Sounds romantic, doesn't it?"

A) "Indeed, I would gladly be in that man's place if that was ever possible."
B) "Indeed, pity that I do not have time for such secretive, dangerous adventures."

11737
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin III of Luathbas!
« on: September 07, 2016, 08:08:38 am »
The fat republican claps his hands.

"Ah, finally the seeds of our friendship found some fertile ground. Territories for enlightment, sounds like a fair trade even to us."

After a while, you both sign the papers that legalize the turn-over of the Southern Territories back to Luathbas in exchange for the Damedian holy scriptures and books to be circulated in the country and provided to anyone who wishes to have them.

843 AD, Mid-Spring

Reports come from the south - and from rest of the country, also - indicating that the peaceful regaining of the southern lands was more than cheered for by the peasantry, not to mention a small yet significant portion of the populace returned to become Luathbas subjects.

843 AD, Summer

After a wonderful performance by Stjolf, the bard hired by your uncle (and who keeps hanging around) after the evening meal, he approaches you.

"My liege, as one bachelor to another - not that I reject ladies from my bed - I have heard, from, let's say, a friend, a little tale about certain unhappy little princess that is fleeing from my homeland, as, just like me, she could not stand oppression. And, as far as the tale goes, it seems that this certain princess is bound to pass through a country called Luathbas during her perilous escape. Isn't it a very nice tale?"

A) Ask him if, according to the tale, that princess would, by coincidence, appear in Luathbas' palace.
B) Thank him for that very nice tale of his, and bid him good night.

11738
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin III of Luathbas!
« on: September 07, 2016, 07:02:48 am »
You reject the deal.

"Ahh, this truly rends my heart! To see that, despite all my efforts, you still decide not to normalize terms with the followers of the peaceful and benevolent father of all humans, blessed Damed!" You explain him what you think of that religion.

"Ah, no, no! These are simple misunderstandings! In fact the sixteenth law states "nor shall you bring harm to the ones not enlightened, yet instead you shall lead them to the light of enlightment so they can see it themselves.", and those scuffles that I heard about are merely results of misunderstanding and aggression coming from drunken peasants. As for the mugging of the Hurthling that I also happen to have knowledge of, well - a terrible incident but the three men responsible has been fined by your governors so no harm's done, especially that the little creature didn't suffer more than few bruises."

"How about you reconsider the deal but with different condition: instead of allowing the worshippers in, you will allow the holy books of Damed into your libraries, personal and public? So instead of preaching, your subjects, the open-minded and less zealous ones, will have at least a chance to glimpse at the tenets of our faith, so it brings better understanding and perhaps later in the time, less violence and such nonsensical hostility toward Damed's worshippers, hmm?"

A) Accept this for return of Southern Territories.
B) Remind him that you already said 'no'.
C) Accept this for all three gifts; the territories, the necklace, and the tax cuts for merchants.

11739
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin III of Luathbas!
« on: September 07, 2016, 06:40:49 am »
You demand something better than this.

"Aah, but you are a demanding one! Well how about this - it still happens to be in our memory that the part of Lametanian province in fact belongs rightfully to you, when the previous tyrant of the poor, opressed Lametanians took it by herself! Why, if we could agree to my demand, then instead of what I proposed, I would see personally that these lovely hinterlands in the south are returned to their original owners. How about that?"

A) Accept the deal.
B) Accept the deal but only for this AND previous sugar-coatings (the necklace, the tax cuts).
C) Reject the deal.
D) "You are suspiciously generous, sir Magnus."

11740
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin III of Luathbas!
« on: September 07, 2016, 06:12:25 am »
You accept his request and write a letter in which you invite him to your palace.

842 AD, End of the Year

The advisor pays you a visit and presents the scrolls to you:

Happiness: 2
Population: 6
Economy: 3
Army: 3

"There's nothing we can really do about these numbers this year, is there?" The advisor sighs.

"No, sire, I'm afraid not."

843 AD, Spring

As the first flowers began to show up on the trees, the Governor of Lametania arrives with a wealthy entourage of white horses, banner-bearers and the heavy infantry which some of your older courtiers remember seeing on the battlefield scant few years ago.

The Governor himself is rather short and pudgy man, who resembles a barrel, to be blunt. He has pitch black hair and very bright skin. He bows only slightly.

"Hail, noble and valiant King of Luathbas! I heard so many tales of your brave deeds and your prosperous and just rule that I simply had to meet with you. It is already a great honour to see you in person." You treat him to a drink and then you seat around a table.

"Well, as I forwarded the offer to meet, I should present my terms, hmm? First of all, it happens to be a matter of fact that my vault is hosting certain necklace that, I heard, was first crafted by the dwarves for your venerable grandfather! Truly a marvelous item." He gesticulates a lot, you note.

"If you were to allow our humble missionaries to cross into your territory and live here safely I could return that item to your without further delay. I know! I know what you want to say, your Majesty!" He claps his hands.

"I cannot trade political things for personal ones, so how about we also allow special tax cuts for the merchants of your prosperous nation? I have happened, by coincidence, to hear that you have close yet not particularily profitable ties with the Parsians. If you were to trade with us and only us, I can assure you of profits and quality of goods, and even security, as our professionally trained soldiers would guard your merchants and their items with their own lives. What do you say? Let me repeat that all I want to ask for in return is that the ones worshipping Damed be no longer treated as enemies of the more traditional of your folk."

A) Reject the deal.
B) Accept the deal.
C) Ask for a better deal.

11741
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin III of Luathbas!
« on: September 07, 2016, 04:34:00 am »
You order peasants to be pushed into soldiery.

842 AD, Winter

The trade advisor reports that the exchange with Parsia and the routes in Aguas were disrupted due to the civil war and thus no revenues were really taken.

The mining operation in the northwest was started the same week and next year the Treasury should be filled with golden nuggets!

842 AD, Midwinter

An unexpected messenger from the south have arrived! Apparently, a man named Magnus Parapetus, styling himself as Governor of Lametanian Province, is hoping to meet with the King of Luathbas to discuss certain unfortunate incidents and just slight discrimination that the followers of Damed have faced in your country thus far, which, he explains, is perfectly understandable as traditions and habits are hard to discard, but it is still something that needs to be discussed to avoid escalation.

A) Invite him to your palace.
B) Reject the request.

11742
At the risk of spoiling my own fun, I feel the need to point out that Hakkar has fortune and thus, Shaelynn can't critsplode his bones.

:vc

v:

:v

Fix'd. I should be dutiful and stuff sometimes at least.

11743
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin III of Luathbas!
« on: September 07, 2016, 04:04:37 am »
"I can only let your children go. You and others need to be punished for your treason." She looks at you, then away for a moment, and stands up.

Quote
4to6

"So be it. Nobody will say that Lady Eiri of Luathbas is scared to face death as consequence for her actions!" She then mutters a short farewell and leaves, and that's the last time you see her alive; shortly after the return to her castle, you hear report of infighting during which she was murdered, some of the noblemen surrendered, some commited suicide and some attempted to flee (few successfully did).



Congratulations! Houlandin III retains the Throne of Luathbas.



After you return to your castle, the advisor and Queen Mother Aolineniya welcome you.

The spymaster brings a report about Lady Eiri's children.

"Your eldest cousin, Sela, has been last seen fleeing to the north with a group of loyal soldiers. Your second eldest cousin Lesvana is said to have been captured by some northern mercenaries and she haven't been seen since. Your youngest cousin Mirael was found dead in Airach castle and my agents believe he was murdered by the fighting noblemen." He bows after delivering this grim report and leaves.

The advisor then brings you a currently updated set of Scrolls of Kingdom Status.

Happiness: 3
Population: 6
Economy: 3
Army: 2

"The casualties amongst the populace and damage to the economy were small overall, albeit our army is in terrible shape, sire. Is there anything you wish to do about this?" You decide to...

A) Raise taxes, Draft peasants, even if the mood of the populace isn't particularily high.
B) Hire large amount of mercenaries, even if Treasury isn't in good shape.
C) Do nothing at the moment, as there is naught you can do.

11744
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin III of Luathbas!
« on: September 07, 2016, 03:30:38 am »
"I'm waiting for a good opportunity that could help the kingdom diplomatically."

"Then why you didn't marry that Parsian girl, for Pantheon's sake!"

"...I had a headache and Ahab Hahalol isn't the type to stay around for explanations." Your aunt facepalms audibly.

"My dear boy, there is something really wrong with your head. Maybe some bad blood did pass on when my parents - your grandparents - had children each other. This too happens in such close relations." She stares at you.

"Fine! Rule the kingdom and find wives as you wish. If you allow me, my family and some certain dissatisfied noblemen into self-exile to the northern kingdoms, I'm ready to call defeat. I already have several marriage proposals for my girls from there on hold so I might just as well marry into the northerners' lineages and forget about this part of the world in the meanwhile. Just make sure your noblemen don't come running to me if Luathbas suddenly faces another succession crisis." She crosses her arms.

A) "Surrender or not, you and everyone who supported will be executed along with you!"
B) "Great! Pack your luggage and off with you, dear Aunt, I've wasted enough time and men on this war."
C) "I can let your children go, but you and other major conspirators will have to be punished for treason."

11745
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin III of Luathbas!
« on: September 07, 2016, 03:17:20 am »
You shout that you do not marry children of traitors. Your Aunt looks at you slightly annoyed.

"Leave us." She says to her guards, who look at each other, then at your guards, before you dismiss them - for a brief moment. Lady Eiri lets out a sigh, then looks at you.

"Now that there are no witnesses, let's speak frankly - I am your Aunt after all - so you can tell me the truth, and I will understand if you, well, prefer men or something of the kind. This happens sometimes!" You stare at her for a long while.

"No, no I'm not into men. It's just that..."

A) "...I'm hoping to marry an elf like my father did."
B) "...I'm just waiting for a good political opportunity."
C) "...I'm just waiting for that elusive spark between me and some girl."
D) "...I'm not sure whom to marry yet. Not your daughter, that's for sure."

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