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Messages - Haspen

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11926
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin II of Luathbas!
« on: August 19, 2016, 01:44:20 pm »
You tell the advisors to find another Wizard.

823 AD, Midsummer

Quote
1

None is found.

The monster is reported to be slowly heading northwards, more or less towards the capital city and your palace, and thus the very unnerved courtiers of yours advise you to send the Army in instead of idly wait for a stroke of luck that brings a traveling wizard to your domain!

A) Fine! Let's send our brave soldiers and pray for their success.
B) No! We shall not waste lives of the Crown's subjects like that!

11927
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin II of Luathbas!
« on: August 19, 2016, 11:34:31 am »
You attempt to negotiate some sort of compromise between the two.

Quote
5*

You manage to convince the two to work on the problem together, and after some time they settle on special calendar formula that will ensure that, as long as mathematics are done correctly, the Birthday of Hurthlings will never occur on the same day as The Pure Water.

"Hew-mon king is so wise!" The Chieftain squeaks before leaving along the priest.

823 AD, Summer

A terryfying report comes from the south!

The miners of the prosperous city, the one built on mineral deposits, followed a vein of silver, and broke into some sort of hollowed cave. From the inside, a vapor of salt erupted, and then solidified into a grotesque, giant-sized wolfman made of salt! As far as its description goes, it has four legs, giant rubies for eyes, and it mumbles rhythmically in unknown language! Beware it's breath that turns living beings into pillars of salt!

The governor have evacuated the city and is begging the Crown for help, because the monstrosity hath salt-ified half of his soldiers already!

A) Send the Army immediatelly to slay the salt monstrosity!
B) Search for a Wizard, because who else could defeat a demon like this!?

11928
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin II of Luathbas!
« on: August 19, 2016, 11:02:15 am »
The bunch of the 'yes men' that is your council agrees that gathering information about their members coming in and out of Luathbas would be best course of action for now.

822 AD, Autumn

An annual report comes frm the Augas province; per usual, the tax revenues were sent to Parsia.

Unfortunately, he also sends less fortunate news; their King, who reigned for less than six years, have fallen gravely ill, and the are rumors that he was poisoned by one of his sons; if the situation really goes to dung, there might be another civil war and shifts in power in Parsia.

The governor will continue to inform you regularly, and he also allowed himself to shift most of his soldiers to the border with Parsia.

822 AD, Winter

You and the advisor pace nervously in front of Aolineniya's bedroom. She experienced pains by the afternoon and despite fact that it's almost evening, you continue to wait.

Suddenly the door opens, and your personal healer allows a loud baby cry to escape the bedroom!

"It's a girl, my liege. There's naught a thing wrong with her!"

Few hours later, you join your wife and sit at the side of her bed. You ask for the girl's name.

"Oh, I talked with your wise mother, my liege, and I decided to use the names of your people for our children. Therefore I decided that our daughter's name will be Elsa."

Sounds like a name for a princess of a fairy tale, don't you agree?

...Wait a moment.

"Where are her pointy ears?" You ask, pointing at the barely sharpened tips of Elsa's tiny ears.

"Ah, my liege, this is normal. Generation by generation, children of the children of our marriage will lose elfin traits till the point they will be indistinguishable from any other human."

No bonus elven traits for your kids, it seems.

822 AD, End of the Year

The advisor brings Scrolls of Kingdom Status to you, like every other year before.

Happiness: 3
Population: 5
Economy: 4
Army: 5

"I can't help but note that the mood of the populace is rather low. Thanks to the revenues from the mining operations in the south, and the bloodless end to the rebellion by Count Tupak, our nations is prospering, my liege!"

823 AD, Spring

Quote
3to6

Another wagon-load of revenues from mining operations down south have arrived at the court!

823 AD, Mid-Spring

Agents from the southern borders report that lots of Damad's worshippers have left Luathbas in last six months.

Also, you are visited by Tataraq, the Priest of the Pantheon, one of the men responsible for the workings of calendar and observation of all religious festivals on schedule... and the Hurthling chieftain, clad in his characteristic pink cloak.

"My liege! I appear before you because Hurthlings are stirring trouble again!"

"We are nut!"

"Be quiet! As I said - trouble, my liege! The Hurthlings, per every year, decided to observe the Birthday, a sacred day of their... religion, involving lots of alcoholic drinks. But this time it occured on the Day of Pure Water, when everyone stays sober! They got drunk and dared to hurt the ears of the faithful with their baudy, shrieking songs! This be blasphemy, sire! " The Hurthling chieftain stomps with his foot.

"We do that every year and nobody was angry aboot that before! Yoo are a wise King, King of Hew-mons, you can clearly sii that we, the little peoples of little land, are being oppressed again!" The Archpriest scowls.

"My liege! The Hurthlings are doing what they want and when they want, and when asked to stop they shout that they're being oppressed! It's about time we stop pandering to them everytime they do that!"

A) Announce that the Hurthlings are viable to follow their ways as they please, even if it conflicts with one of the many of Luathbas' religious observances.
B) Negotiate some sort of calendar-related compromise.
C) Ask the Chieftain to comform to the Kingdom's religious festivals and not be so stubborn at least this once.

11929
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin II of Luathbas!
« on: August 19, 2016, 10:18:27 am »
Quote
8!*

You send him a letter demanding the explanation behind his rebellion, and an offer to pardon his outburst if he lays down his arms.

The reply, however, comes not from him, but is signed by 'Baron Smartus and other nobles loyal to our most beloved King, Houlandin II', in which they write that after learning about your offer of mercy, they had slain Count Tupak and surrendered themselves to other aristocrats loyal to you.

You have agents sent southwest to investigate this bizarre episode.

822 AD, Midsummer

The agents have returned.

Indeed, Count Tupak has been slain, and the nobles behind him re-pledged their loyalty to the Crown.

The agents found little information in Tupak's manor, except some religious books (their contents either praising certain 'Father of all Humans' or expressing the need to clean the lands of 'fanciful filth'), and, in his favorite jewellery box, a ring with a simple, silver triangle.

You debate about these findings with your advisors...

A) We should ban the Cult of Damad in Luathbas, and persecute its members!
B) Let's announce that Cult of Damad is from now on not welcome in Kingdom of Luathbas.
C) We shall do nothing publicly; instead, our agents will be sent to large cities and border towns and they shall report sightings of Damad pilgrims and/or missionaries.

11930
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin II of Luathbas!
« on: August 19, 2016, 10:04:15 am »
You attack this one as well!

Quote
4

You win the battle after a lot of wrestling and slashing at the beast. Finally, it gave way. After wiping its purple blood from your face, you check its maw...

Quote
6lucky bastards

YES! One of its fangs is pure crystalline black! You butcher the jaw to pull off the fang. It's the size of your thumb.

You pocket it into a small pouch and the pouch goes into the bag.



Congratulations! Houlandin II finished his Epic Quest!



821 AD, Late Winter

When you return to your castle, the first thing is you take a bath and have a hearty meal.

Just as you finish your steak, the guards of the front gate say that the wizard is here! He is a very punctual fella.

"I sensed your return, and I believe you hath acquired the Onyx Fang." You show him the bloodied, gemstone-like tooth you dug out of the beast's maw. The wizard takes the fang and examines it with a smile.

"Ahh, splendid. Your part of the bargain hath been fulfilled. Time to fulfill me part as well." He raises his hands into the air, and the lit candles are blown out, scaring some maidens and one of your paiges. You can swear that the outside suddenly got a little cloudy as well.

Then the wizard begins to shout some strange words of unknown language in a singing, melodic tone:

"Móðir dvergum, heyr mig!

Ég, himnesk Bárður, býð þér!"


There is a rumble of the ground; some dust falls from the logs supporting the ceiling. Suddenly, you can see blue runes glowing on your clothes, some of the furniture, on the walls; runes that weren't there before.

"Miskunna til þessara dauðlegra!

Muna jarðneskum illa anda!"


Suddenly, sickly green vapors begin to leave your body through your nose and mouth! Same vapors begin to leave your Queen Mother's ears, who was present in the throne room as well. You feel uneasy and fall onto your knees, causing the servants to leap towards you.

"Ekki brjóta fjölskyldu sína, í staðinn

Veita þeim heilsu og langlífi!"


The vapors intensify in volume and thickness, but only a short while later, they dissipate and the air is clean once again. The sun again shines through the windows and there is no clouds outside.

You thank the servants who helped you up, and then look at the wizard.

He is gone.

821 AD, End of the Year

"Patrols on the roads report that they haven't seen anyone resembling the mysteriously disappeared wizard, my liege." The advisor brings you, besides these news, his venerable scrolls.

Happiness: 3
Population: 5
Economy: 3
Army: 5

The Kingdom is doing okay.

822 AD, Spring

Quote
3to6

Along with the message of the governor of the city in the south came a wagon with coffers full of money! In his letter he writes that the mining operations last year brought lots of ore that sold for hefty sums to jewellers and smiths around the region, and he had sent half of the profits to the Crown.

That's quite a lot of coins he got you!

822 AD, Summer

There's a rebellion in the southwest!!

The noble behind it, Count Tupak, apparently rallied his supporters to 'defend the Crown from the evil influence of inferior non-humans, like the elven witch who seduced the good King, or those murderous hurthling savages.'

Only few minor nobles and their holdings support him, but that still amounts for a rather moderately-sized army of spearmen and archers.

An emergency council session is convened, at which your advisors and military commanders debate with you about the best possible course of action. In the end, you decide to...

A) Try diplomatic channels first: send him a letter demanding explanation and cessation of his revolt.
B) Order your army to march forth and bring peace to the Kingdom by force.

11931
Pshoooooomm...

Quote from: Nicholas vs Listening Device
r20 = 20dmg

The satellite dish explodes as the computer was fried.

After this, Unit #12 was extracted back to America.

Testgame Complete!



Now you guys can talk or give ideas or point out badly balanced stuffs ;v

I'm afraid that there won't be a proper game anywhere this or next month.

11932
~~Player Turn 11~~



Spoiler: HP (click to show/hide)

11933
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin II of Luathbas!
« on: August 19, 2016, 08:31:45 am »
@Kashyyk: yes :P



Preparing yourself for more hardships, you climb back up. You poke your nose into few caves before you hear a loud hiss that is coming closer!

You back away from the cave's mouth only for a lizard to run out of it. While it hisses at you, you can see that is must be one of the younger ones; its scales are brighter and it is of comparable size to the first lizard you killed.

A) Let's attack nonetheless! One of them has to have that onyx fang!
B) Let's not waste time and search for a bigger, older lizard.

11934
Heeeeals.

Quote from: Arnold heals Gregory
10+5 = Up to 15HP healed

Then Iris and Shaelynn utterly dominated the poor man with some hard sword-thrusting and magical pounding.

Quote from: Iris vs Thief A
Hit: 114+10-30 = 94
Hit roll: 48, hit!
Damage: 8-2 = 6dmg

Thief A counterattacks!
Hit: 112-10-23 = 79
Hit roll: 80, miss!

Quote from: Shaelynn vs Thief A
Hit: 108+10-30 = 88
Hit roll: 8, hit!
Damage: 10-1 = 9dmg

Spoiler: HP (click to show/hide)

11935
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin II of Luathbas!
« on: August 19, 2016, 08:18:08 am »
You slowly climb down the cliff...

Quote
2

When you wake up, you realize that you must've fallen off the cliff again. Fortunately, you landed on the lizard's corpse, which cushioned your fall somewhat.

You slide off it, feeling bruises all over your body, and check the lizard's maw...

Quote
1to4

You sigh, then prepare to spend the night here. You also try the meat of the lizard, but both the smell and the taste are terrible.

(Supplies: 4)

Next morning, you have two choices.

A) Climb down and try to find a lone nesting lizard.
B) Climb back up and engage another of the bigger lizards.

11936
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin II of Luathbas!
« on: August 19, 2016, 08:06:46 am »
"DIEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Quote
4

The lizard charges you after your initial - failed - swipe at it with a sword, and just in the last moment you manage to dodge. The lizard then passes you, unable to swiftly stop, falls off the cliff and crashes on a shelf down below! Victor-

Wait.

Fuck.

A) Climb the cliff down to get to the body.
B) Just find another lizard, dammit.

11937
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin II of Luathbas!
« on: August 19, 2016, 07:59:04 am »
Quote
3

The attack goes awry as the large lizard easily bites your hand and then topples you. Then he bites your leg and you barely manage to scurry away like a canine. You find a slope downwards and, huddled against the mountainface and some rocks, lick your wounds (figuratively of course) for a day. Unfortunately you need much more supplies than usual to handle the bite marks. Fortunately, the lizards might be big but at least their fangs are small and squarey rather than being sharp fangs of dismemberment and death.

(Supplies: 5)

Next morning, you stagger back upwards and there it is, the bastard.

To be honest you have no idea if its the same lizard, but it looks like the one yesterday...

A) DIEEEEEE!
B) FLEEEE!

11938
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin II of Luathbas!
« on: August 19, 2016, 07:25:46 am »
You decide to climb higher up the mountain.

By the afternoon, you reach a level where shelves are interconnected with each other and there are also caves. You can hear hissing from the nearest one.

Suddenly, a lizard emerges from it! It's larger than the previous one, and has ridges on head, and its scales are a bit more dull. It must be an adult, or some kind of old lizard.

A) Attack! Attack!!
B) Retreat! Retreat!!

11939
Fire up Master of Orion II instead :v

In my own happy news, the best soup is Wikipedia's featured article today \o/

11940
Forum Games and Roleplaying / Re: SPAMKINGDOM: Houlandin II of Luathbas!
« on: August 19, 2016, 05:15:26 am »
You decide to wait.

Quote
4

At one moment, certainly curious why you're not moving, the lizard slowly paces toward you. Once he is in range - you attack!

Quote
4

Soon you're wrestling with a giant yellow-rainbowy lizard that tries to bite your face off. It gives you some nasty scratches and a bite on your hand. You manage to stab at it with your sword, and then, after two successful hits, it falls over and you finish it with a blow to its underside. It wriggles, hisses, and expires.

You then open its maw and check for the black tooth...

Quote
1to5

Sadly, all of its teeth are just like normal teeth. You climb down to clean your wounds, eat something and rest before tomorrow.

(Supplies: 7)

Next morning, you decide to...

A) Try again with the low-height shelves, there might be another lone lizard somewhere.
B) Climb into higher parts of the mountain to, hopefully, find more lizards.

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