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Messages - Haspen

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26341
Also, check this out.
That -NK telling their people that the whole world is undergoing a serious food shortage, and not just them- is pretty amusing. We don't have any food shortages. We keep giving them food, and we have an obesity problem that a lot of starving villagers would kill to have.

Actually, half of the world has food shortages because the other half hoards it and isn't willing to share for free :P

26342
What are you looking at, dorf? v:

26343
General Discussion / Re: The Dream Thread
« on: May 07, 2013, 02:26:38 am »
I had too much pizza before sleep so weird dream:

Basically I was running naked on a grassy field in Canada or Scotland? With either Kaijyuu or Descan, I don't remember the face clearly, but it was one of those two. We were chasing sheep that were screaming 'BODICES OF TERROR ARE THERE, RUN FOR THY LIFE'.
And then we agreed this was too gloomy so we did few piruets and teleported to the desert. There we had a tea party with few scorpions wearing top hats and monocles.

Then I woke up because of stomachache :c

26344
Oh, right. I still have to get you for that. And I think I know how c:

Fanart-sectioned few things I've spotted in the thread.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Image of the night.

"Yo, daaaawg, want some weeeed?"

No honestly he looks like hipster pothead, just saying.

EDIT: You know I never even slightly suspected what I was getting myself into when I was starting FEF. But in retrospect that was the best idea of the moment.

26345
v:

That's all commentary I can muster. I shouldn't leave you without supervision for the night...

26346
Plus, you guys are... ~30 EXP away from LVL UP.

I think you can grab stats before the Sisters get in range.

DAMMIT LOOKIT TIME G'NIGHT

26347
New poll people!

Unfortunately, I'm way past allocated time and I really should get some sleep before the tomorrow's classes. Have fun! ;D

26349
Oh fuck. So many axemen, and TWO promoted bosses? What the christ, Haspen >.<

Yes, because I've put forest and hills right at your feet for no reason at all, decorative purposes if you will I:

Not to mention hit rates of most of the enemies is going to be ~50 given the evade of your units.

26350
"Oh, no, that kind of trouble I fix very easily. You see, what I mean--"

"AHA! HERE SHE IS!" With those words shouted from somewhere in the front of the wagon, the bushes and branches everywhere began to rustle and crackle from some force. Scantily-clad muscular men with axes and swords and even bows showed up at the outskirts of the forested areas, and two massive... two people of unspecified gender showed up on the other side of the bridge, wielding massive axes.

"The gypsy!" "The witch!"

"Oh, dear Cilia, do thou not see the end of our perils?"

"Verily, my dear Dora, it is her! The gypsy! The red-haired scoundrel! And look, if it is not a band of hired vagrants at her side!"

"Oh... Hi, Dora, Cilia! How nice to meet you today! Unfortunately, I'm not selling any more of sun toffee at the moment!"

"Nay, I say, you spawn of villainy! We're here to put you to justice!"

"Thou speaketh the true, my sister! Anja, you remember that Wooden Idol of Fertility you sold us?"

"Not working!"

"And the Chain of Midnight Pleasure?"

"Glass beads!"

"And thou surely remember the Tome of Eccentric Blanket Gymnastics you advertised so loudly, so seducingly?"

"We can't read!"

"Oh, haven't we searched back and fro, daring the unspoken nightmares and venturing to the cities on the other side of the world?"

"Imagine our surprise, when we learned that thine wagon was spotted in the city of Fezzan, right under our nose!"

"Look, girls, if you're here to get your money back, I told you back then: no refunds! And these people have nothing to do with us! Let's us walk away from those guys, and fight... fi... guh~" Suddenly, Anja swayed forward, fell from the wagon onto the grass, and began snoring.

"Miracle! Working merchandise!"

"Why, that merchant haven't lied when he spoke of the branch's powers!"

"Indeed, my sister. We should've left his precious malehood intact!"

"Let's show that gypsy what we do with those who double-cross us, sister!"

"Anja!" "Time to die!" The shouted at the wagon, but the red-haired girl was snoring loudly as if enjoying a good night of sleep on a comfy bed in luxurious inn.

~~Player Turn 1~~

Objective:
1. Anja and her Wagon must survive!

Enemies' Stats!
Anja's Stats!



Spoiler: HP (click to show/hide)

26352
"..." Anja remained silent to that question, and managed to make a forced, weak smile for Gregor.

"Business that involves, uh... lateness, and broken promises... and a debt, or two... and misplaced 'legal' goods. The usual."

26353
Anja huffed and frowned at the men.

"Ah, no! You don't understand... When my nose is ticklish, it means trouble. And my nose is often ticklish in this special way it is now, only when someone is after me."

"You see, I believe we're being surrounded by those who have business with me. Unfortunately, not the pleasant kind of business. I hope you understand."

Whatever her nose was telling her, the forest was still calm and even serene by some standards.

26354
There you go :v

26355
"Those who have their own horses do not get my wagon, teehee! Now get up here, the rest of you!"

When everyone was ready, Anja grabbed the reins and smacked her two chestnut horses. The wagon cracked from sudden pull, as if it was going to snap in two, and began rolling down the street in slow movement. They passed the southern gate, then several farmhouses, and soon they had the troubled city of Fezzan behind their backs.

~~Chapter 3x: Dissappointed Customers~~


The mercenaries, after many struggles, at last recovered the Dragonstone of Kesselring family, Lapis Lazuli.
By unfortunate turn of events, they were robbed of their easy way back to Kesselring; but Anja the traveling merchant agreed to take them to Kesselring on her merchant wagon.

Sadly, they forgot to ask her one, very minor question...

Wheels of the wagon clacked in a rhythm, the wooden circles oft passing a stone that was sticking out of the dirt road, or a small hole here and there. The journey was slow, but Anja shared her food supplies with the mercenaries, herself remaining rather silent during the trip. From farmlands and plains, they went into region of forests and glades, pretty much uninhabited by anything else than wild animals.

It was afternoon of the day they left Fezzan, the sky and forest bathed in orange light, when Anja's wagon found yet another bridge over a brook to cross. Suddenly, Anja shouted and stopped her horses, and looked around in alarm.

"Oh... oh dear..." That's all she said in explanation, her eyes glancing from side to side in nervous rhythm.

The forest, on other hand, looked peaceful, calm and devoid of any suspicious activity.

"My nose is ticklish!" Anja added after a moment.

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