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The Damdamian envoy marches in, stops in front of you, salutes with his right hand. You can clearly see he is in a rush, and probably was for some time already.

"Greetings, Emperor Yoe! I come with a letter that the Senate has written and gave to me just eight days ago." He takes out a scroll from his robes and begins to read.

"To Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant, from Senate of Republic of Damdamia. Emperor! Your vile treachery has enraged the people of Damdamia. And while the perpetrator of this crime has begged for his life, claiming to be your relative and son of the Great Cyl, we've decided to punish him nonetheless! Thus, we have executed your uncle, Saenn of Methiant, by boiling him in oil, after he has fatally stabbed the retired Consul Marius Badus Lucus during a ride through his family estates. The Senate gives you two options; pay a tribute to the Senate, pay the tribute to Marius' wife Upsettia Gloria, and pay a tribute to the people of Damdamia who demand revenge for the death of their beloved consul of four consecutive terms. The other option is that the Damdamian Republic will punish not your Treasury, but entirety of Methiant. These are the words of Damdamian Senate, unanimously written, signed by Consul Tupetus Maximus and Praetor Energus Triumphus."

A) "I'm sure there has been some sort of misunderstanding. We ought to talk about this first!"
B) "We want no quarrel with Damdamians. We will pay for Saenn's terrible deed."
C) "No evidence, no forewarning? I will pay nothing to the bullies calling themselves senators!"

.
.
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D) Ask Haspen 'y u do dis'.

You decide to buy t'chai leaves for your people.

Now it's time to meet with...

A) Courtier with a report!
B) The Damdamians!

Its ehm... Maine

Because Haspen asked for it, yes.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ain't terrible I guess.

Im also dissapointed that not one pun uses the irish pronunciation of the name. Shame guys, shame. XP

I will forgive the pun because that guy looks cute <3

If a little pissed off.

Y'all should suffer for this v;

So Albion is it a monarchy?.

Yes.

1. Dwarven Necklace of Persuasion, first made by King Houlandin I of Lauthbas in 810 AD, lost to Lametania in 811 AD, later recovered by King Llewyn "The Conqueror" of Lauthbas in 868AD. Brief internship in a Hydra from 881 AD to 882AD. Last held by Queen Aife of Lauthbas 892 AD during the economic collapse of Lauthbas.

2. Platinum dwarf Scepter bought in 816 AD by King Houlandin II of Lauthbas, later destroyed in 818 AD to appease Lady Aolineniya.

3. Murder Time, obsidian mace-head gifted to King Houlandin II of Lauthbas by the Formorian king in 827 AD. Reforged in 828 AD. Seized by Queen Alexandria of Lametania in 831 AD. Gifted back to Queen Elana of Lauthbas in 889 AD by Lametania governers, and then reforged. Last held by Queen Aife of Lauthbas 892 AD during the economic collapse of Lauthbas.

4. Dwarven Cuirass of Deflection, made for Houlandin III "The Master Tactician" of Lauthbas in 849 AD. Destroyed in 860 AD by Lady Aolineniya.

5. Sky Iron Knife, made for Houlandin III "The Master Tactician" of Lauthbas in 859 AD. Entombed with him in 860 AD. Uncovered in 867 AD by Llewyn "The Conqueror" of Lauthbas. Lost during Siege of Luathbas in Autumn, 891 AD. Gifted to Dukr Merachd "The Blessed" of Tven in 956 AD. Unknown fate.

6. Ancient Terror, an spear of unknown alloy was unearthed from an ancient barrow by Duke Estwalf "The Lizardslayer" of Tven in 963 AD. Unknown fate.

7. Dwarven Amulet of Protection, made for King Yoe I of Methiant in 1077 AD. Lost during Battle of Lamtain in Late Summer 1085 AD.

8. The Rainbow Scepter I, made for King Yoe I of Methiant in 1085 AD. Stolen by an unknown thief in 1092 AD. Recovered by adventurers the same year. Destroyed out of spite by dwarves in 1117 AD.

9. Lakemetal Thread Tunic, gifted to King Cyl I "The Conqueror" of Methiant in 1125 AD. Disappeared in 1145 AD.

10. Coronation Staff, unearthed from Lost Tombs of Tygwand by King Cyl I "The Conqueror" of Methiant in 1133 AD. Stolen by unknown thieves in 1183 AD.

11. Wolf-Fang, unearthed from Lost Tombs of Tygwand by King Cyl I "The Conqueror" of Methiant in 1133 AD. It was handed over to dwarves as terms of peace treaty in 1139 AD.

12. The Rainbow Scepter II, made for Emperor Cyl I "The Conqueror" of Methiant in 1144AD. Stolen by unknown thieves in 1183 AD.

13. Leaf-Necklace, recovered from unknown honeycomb tomb in 1153 AD by Emperor Cyl I "The Conqueror" of Methiant. Destroyed in 1155 AD.

14. Crown of Heavens, made for Emperor Yoe III of Methiant in 1165 AD.

15. Flying Horse, created for Empress Ruberta "The Good" of Methiant in 1174 AD.

16. Bracelet of Charisma, created for Empress Ruberta "The Good" of Methiant in 1179 AD. Stolen by unknown thieves in 1183 AD.

17. Bronze Flagbearer, created for Empress Ruberta "The Good" of Methiant in 1180 AD.

18. Candlestick of Weather, created for Empress Ruberta "The Good" of Methiant in 1182 AD.

19. Blade of Puncturing, created for Empress Ruberta "The Good" of Methiant in 1182 AD.

20. Rainbow Scepter III, created for Emperor Yoe IV of Methiant during his regency in 1191 AD.

1&3 were taken as debt/war/tribute reparations by Damdamians/Kiwis/whoever.

2&4 has been dissolved by soil according to elven rites.

5 fell into hands of Ankurvat Dwarves when Merachd and his army got busted during their attack against Ankurvat. They definitely sold it away somewhere to the west.

6 definitely ended in hands of Dahnians after their vile rebellious Tven vassal lost against their forces. Some Dahnian noble family ought to have it.

7 is defintiely with Lametanian royal family, in a royal vault or some such.

8 yup, they did it.

9 Elves took it back while also damaging the magic of remaining Moonthread cloaks.

...Of course I'm not telling you where 10, 12 and 16 is

11 As with all looted trinkets (look 5), they sold it away for money.

13 Trap item did its work and exploded, duh.

14 Currently on Yoe IV's head (stays there most of the time tbh).

15 Currently in Methiantese royal stables, in a separate wing of it cuz it kept eating normal horses after Ruberta's death.

17&20 are currently in the royal vault.

18 Kept in Orcworld Fortress, just in case.

19 Currently at Yoe IV's belt, usually in the vault.

Kimono Girls seem dangerous V:!

a] because we don’t have literal mountains of silver to deal with b] we don’t have an empire that overstretched as the Hapsburg’s had they wasted a lot of money trying to keep all parts of the empire unified it took months to reach the ends of the empire while methiant is large it not that large. C] we don’t have as many problems as the Hapsburg’s no Protestants to cow no France to keep in check no Netherlands’s to try and make stable no Ottoman Empire that threatens one of our biggest provinces sure we have problems but compared to the Hapsburg’s during their fall this is heaven. Anyway that was my two cents

Hmmm :v