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You decide to run left, your dignity failing and your high-pitched screams probably waking up whole of palace.

6

Be it adrenaline, luck or good memory, you do end up in the mess hall. Even better, the afternoon shift of guards has just finished and corwded the mess hall. They look at you confused as you run between tables, almost tumbling over the chairs, but once the lobster-alien-maid-beast bursts through the door, the crowd begins to use what they have at hand. Some are able to draw bows and crossbows, but others simple throw their swords, hatchets and even nearby knives, mugs and other objects at the beast.

The terrifying monster bites some poor sod's face off, and three other are sliced up by the frontal scythe-limbs of the beast, and the battle continues as you huggle the hall's corner.

But some lucky potshots slow it down, wounds pile up on its carapace, and then, in one moment, one brave man jumps onto a table to match the beast's height and smashes his trusty axe into the monster's head!

You don't get to congratulate the hero of the day as the dying monster releases, along with an ear-piercing, haunting shriek, a burst of acidic blood that melts the man's face off and kills him seconds later later.


All in all, there has been fourteen casualties, including seven dead. A cursory investigation into his horrifying, bizarre attack reveals that the poor maid that became the monster has been complaining of fever as early as the midnight right after the shower of falling stars. She later complained to one of fellow maids that she felt 'as if I swallowed a fly'.

Your best scholars, astrologists and worldly courtiers will try to find the cause of this... terror from the other world.


A report arrives from northern governors; no more Hurthlings are in Methiant, and the security on the border with Tiftits has been strenghtened to ensure none of these deplorable little bastards stir up trouble again.


You contemplate your fine cotton robes while leisurely sipping on some mulled wine, in one of your favorite chambers that has a fireplace. The time of leisure is up, becomes the Advisor brings the Scrolls of Kingdom Status to your room.

Happiness: 5
Population: 7
Economy: 5
Army: 3

You tap on the chair's arm. You need to work those numbers up somehow.


Your military officers, now clad in scale mail and winged helmets, bring joyous news - the reforms of military organizations are over! The new Marshal, clad in silver and feathers, salutes you.

"My liege! I report that the change of the Army has been accomplished! No longer we will depend on the Alldivine zealots! Within half a year, the change will be announced to all governors and noblemen! Young men across Luathbas will receive notices of mandatory conscription in about the same amount of time. Our kingdom shall be as strong as never before!"

---

Congratulations! Kingdom of Methiant successfully reorganized its Army to a professional and mandatory training model:
You will no longer be able to procure services of religious mercenaries from Alldivine Cloisters.
The Army will continuously maintain (or at least, try to maintain) a high level on its own and will cause a constant drain on Economy (currently causing a yearly deficit!).
As mentioned by the new Marshal, you just received a small Population penalty to kick-start the mandatory conscription&training scheme.
In times of emergency, you will be able to order mobilization of a chunk of male popualtion for a certain amount of time.

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You congratulate them all and then express your wishes that they do their best. They promise to do so!


Punctual as ever, the Eldricans bring Fireblood ingredients to exchange them for local gemstones.

5

Great news come from Mountains of Tven! Your prospectors there indeed found silver amongst the local rocks, and they believe there is enough ore to supply a mine for at least several decades, if not longer!

To properly begin excavation, they of course need money and supplies.

A) And of course they shall get them!
B) No, not this time, sorry.

This update has been sponsored by this snazzy, cutesy moozik.

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1to5

You decide to lead her to the healers. You don't get far before the maid clutches her stomach - or chest, you're not sure - in pain and leans downwards. Great, there will be a floor mess soon-

Ye gods! Instead of barfing like any normal sick person would do, a ribbed black appendage bursts from her mouth. In a cacophony of clicks, sizzles and very quiet shrieks, the maid stands upright, her chest bursting open and a set of four, scythe-like legs extending from her exposed ribcage, the visible bones wrapped in mass of black tentacles.

The horrid tentacle-ant-maid-thing then bursts a lobster-like tail from between its legs and goes as qaudruped. Its tongue-tube-thing extends towards you, and only now you notice triple row of needle-like teeth decorating its tight throat tunnel.

Drooling and clicking widly, this monster from other world advances towards you!!

a) fuckin hell run away and to the left there's guard tower there, or was it healers? fuk this why its always me
b) aaaah what the fuck time to run and go left that's were the mess hall is the masses gotta help or maybe some damn guards will b around for once
c) fuck this and evacuate through the window and if you remember correctly there's some roof underneath or stables or somethin

You send a letter to the nobleman, but also to the Hurthlings, urging them to find a peaceful solution.

2

The situation along the border with Hurthlings only deteriorated. While the nobleman was somewhat willing to compromise, the Hurthlings weren't and this resulted in some more scuffles, until an actual skirmish ensued when Methiant militia men tried to apprehend some Hurthlings caught red-handed. This spread to nearby Hurthling settlement and also involved reinforcements, so as you read the report there are at least hundred dead (two-thirds being Hurthlings).

Courtiers are split and arguing; some believe dealing with Hurthlings was a bad idea, some believe they need time and space to adapt, and some call for outright punitive expedition.

A) Yep, gotta punish those little bastards and raid their lands for replying to our good intentions with naught but murder.
B) No no no, they definitely need to be forgiven and mayhaps we should 'tutor' our peasants a bit harsher.
C) What you talking about, kick the Hurthlings outta Methiant and be done with it!

WE CAN TRAVEL WATER NOW!

TIME TO TAKE IWO JIMA FROM THOSE YELLOWS!!1

You ask him to tell in detail what he knows about the ledgers and the mountains.

5

He obliges eagerly, weaving a tale about how he procured the ledgers from a band of adventurers who profited during the conquest of Donuth (they looted it from abandoned governor's house), and how he made research of the ledgers' contents, and then he tells you about Tven mountains and the ores and stones that were found there, and how it means that silver is there.

Unfortunately for him, you recently read a book about geology, and some details you remember simply don't work with what he said. After being confronted with this, the prospector gets nervous and tries to 'straighten' his tale but only digs him deeper. Soon, the charlatan is hauled away to the royal dungeons!

The Advisor strokes his beard for a while and then leans toward you.

"My liege, while he was a lair, in every tale there is a seed of truth. Mayhaps we should send our own agents to check the area in the mountains he described?"

A) "Sure, a cursory search won't hurt."
B) "Nah, they will only discover the obvious."

You try to sell the services of your alchemists and engineers.

4

After some time, this is what you and the envoys managed to come up with: you would send your men up north for a period of five years and receive money after that period; the amount of money received would be approximately 6 years of taxes.

A) This is fine, we have a deal, gentlemen!
B) No, this won't do, let's try something else.
C) Half now and half later, just in case.
D) No, this won't do. Begone from my court!

You agree to the deal and promise the help keep Lametania secure. They ask for your soldiers to march south by the Spring, and they will send money in the winter time.


The Advisor visits you in the library, where you have been reading a copy of '"The Golden Years of Houlandines'. You close the book and prepare for the worst.

Happiness: 5
Population: 7
Economy: 3
Army: 4

"Our Treasury barely made it even this year, my lord. Shall we extend the period of raised taxes for another year?"

A) "But of course, we cannot go bankrupt!"
B) "No, otherwise people will get angry."