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Messages - Untouchable

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331
General Discussion / Re: Westboro Batist church pickets comic-con.
« on: July 19, 2010, 01:38:11 am »


Really, I don't even get the Westboro Baptist Church other than the fact that they're absolutely batshit insane.

332
Now then, who are we?



Since you don't have as much choices for building a character as in Icewind Dale (Dwarves are restricted to Fighter,Thief, Cleric and Barbarian), we are Urist Ironblood McDoomfist the Third. Unbelievably strong but slightly thick and smelling faintly of vomit and booze.





Oh dear, Dialogue.



(How very Dwarf Fortressy of the game to do by dumping me at the Inn)

I've always been surprised that Winthrop can keep his inn open. Candlekeep has very draconian entrance requirements so he can't have great business.



Time to get mah drink on.



: Wait. Since when? People have been killed over less money. Hint, Hint.

:  Ever the humourless brat ye always were. If not for your fathers reputation, I'd not tolerate ye. Don't bother me.

But since I have money, he let me buy a couple of axes and some armour. Leaving about 100 gold to play about with. And we all know what happens then....






: This *Hic*... Dis sounds bad. What if mah axes breaks. How I kill then?


And you all know what happens when a Barbarian Dwarf gets drunk?




They go looting.



Ah Firebeard.... Good enough bloke but just a little too trusting.



Phlydia.... probably the most incompetent acolyte ever. She lost an expensive and rare set of books last week in the stables which we found tattered and drooled upon. It's a miracle that she hasn't nearly killed herself.




: WHAT YOU CALL ME STUPIT COW!






Sigh... Dammit Phlydia. At least I got something for it.



Wait.... Giving a cow an antidote gets them better. Say what?



I also encountered Tethtoril and obtained Firebeads scroll. I don't have much use for it and it's a fairly minor scroll so I can't make much money for it.



In exchange for returning the scroll, I've been protected from evil. Good?



: Yes. What of it?

: Nothing personal but I'm here to slit your throat.  Someone has placed a price on your head and I cannot turn down an offer.



: Bloody cats. We should make cat biscuits.

I prefer to fight my own fights. If someone is out to get me then I don't want anyone not involved putting an axe into their head. Still, perhaps I shouldn't have drunk so much as I can barely hit anything.



Rat Battle! Our valiant hero fought off an army of rats and cat traitors before tragedy struck.



A shattered axe. Truly the most upsetting thing in Urists life. Today couldn't get worse.



: Mah axe is broke! I demand vengeance!



Hull is one of the gate guards. I'm tempted to chew him out for letting an assassin in the keep but I'm feeling the warm fuzzy feeling of booze wear off.



The things I do for money and to help others.



: You the ward of Gorion?


: Yeah, I'm his son.


: Foster Son. Not that it hardly matters. Somebody wants you dead and I'm just willing enough to oblige.



This is really unnerving. Candlekeep is one of the most secure places on the Sword Coast. And now two assassins have made attempts on my life.



I don't know why I even bother with these people. Hull pretty much accused me of trying to run off with his sword. What self-respecting dwarf uses swords though?

I was pretty much finished with my preparations when I ran into my dear friend Imoen outside of the keep.



: Can't chat Shrimp. I'm on a journey.

: Shrimp? I'm bigger than you. A journey? That sounds really cool. I'd love to travel but I'm just cooped up here so I never get to go anywhere. I'd love to go with though.  I really do.

: You're not going. You wouldn't be allowed to anyways.

: Oh come on... You know what? You're right. G would never let me. Fine, I'll stay here and keep to myself. You better go though, the old man doesn't like being kept waiting.

(And I forgot to screen cap the conversation with Gorion. Long story short, we are outta here)



: Listen carefully.  If we ever become separated, it is imperative that you make your way to the Friendly Arm Inn.  There you will meet Khalid and Jaheira.  They have long been my friends, and you can trust them.

: We're just traveling aren't we? I mean, you can magic anything to death can't you?



:  Let us hurry, child.  The night can only get worse, so we must find shelter soon.  Don't worry.  I'll explain everything as soon as there is time.

We heard something and stopped. Something wasn't right.

:  "Wait.  There is something wrong.  We are in an ambush.  Prepare yourself."



: You're perceptive for an old man. You know why I'm here. Hand over your ward and no one will be hurt. If you resist, it will be a waste of your life.

: Un-bloody-likely. I'm not going anywhere.

: You're a fool if you believe I would trust your benevolence.  Step aside and you and your lackeys will be unhurt.

:  I'm sorry that you feel that way old man.



Gorion struck first, slaying an ogre before the enemy spell caster struck me in the side with a flame arrow.

: Run child. Get out of here!

So I did. I would have fought but I would have been little more than a liability between a powerful mage and that armored figure.



I looked over my shoulder as I fled. Gorion had cast seemingly every spell in his arsenal at the enemy yet still he remained standing.



I heard the unmistakable sound of a sword slicing through flesh and bone. I knew that Gorion had been slain defending me and I could do nothing but run.

And so I did.

333
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Blood-soaked Weapons
« on: July 18, 2010, 11:54:27 am »
forbid the axe?

but i dont think a name is anything beyond just some aesthetic badassery
that probably(i.e. definitely) would not work. The guy is attached to it. When you were a child, and you had your favorite blanket, did you ever set it down ever for any reason at all? Probably not.

Maybe a dwarf wielding a crossbow ballista will grow attached and name it "Sasha".
It needs really expensive bolts.
And an ammo chain.

Ulrist McHeavy cancels order: interrupted by Sandwich.

334
Lo all, Untouchable here for my Bay 12 LP debut. I've been wanting to do a LP of Baldur's Gate for a while now so here we go. This post is also going to act as somewhat of a table of contents too but first an explanation about what's going on.

For those not in the know, Baldur's Gate is a Computer Roleplaying Game released in 1998 by Black Isle and developed by Bioware, who are now best known for their hit RPGs Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Mass Effect and Dragon Age: Origins. At the time, Computer RPGs were essentially in the crapper doing poor business. While the original Fallout was released the year before, this was essentially the game that was able to revive CRPGs thanks to a combination of being easy to pick up and also being a fairly faithful adaption of the 2nd Edition D&D rules.


The Following Mods will be used

- Baldur's Gate Tutu (A conversion mod for Baldur's Gate II that essentially converts the game to run the original game with the much improved engine of the sequel)
- Unfinished Business (Pretty much restores cut content and stuff that was originally going to be in but were dummied out)
- The Lure of the Sirine's Call (Essentially a mod that adds a fairly long quest in)
- The BG1 NPC Project  (Pretty much an expansion mod which adds a couple of things in which I probably won't get to. It also changes up the location of some late joining NPC's.

Alright, let's get rolling. As I can't seem to embed Youtube videos, the awesome opening is in the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Kmmggc6jH8
Creating our PC
Races

Standard Fantasy fare. Human, Half Human and Half Tree Hugging Pansy, Tree Hugging Pansy, Dwarf, Gnome, Half Orc and Halfling

Alignment

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Classes

Spoiler (click to show/hide)


And well, that's all really. MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD AND LET ME KNOW YOUR CHOICE!

335
-Find an embark site with iron ore and flux.

- Find an easily fortifiable position to start carving out my fortress. Start constructing a defensive area with choke points and defendable points for my above ground operations such as food stockpiles and butcher shops.

- Log the entire area and stockpile it underground.

- Start making the appropriate furniture and such.

- Get to some real Fun.

336
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Statue Themes?
« on: July 02, 2010, 12:50:40 am »
My manager and my mason are Friends. The manager DETESTS rats. The mason keeps making statues of the manager surrounded by rats. I'm wondering how long this 'friendship' will last.


That's sorta like my Engravers making engravings of the humans on the site being killed by Hobgoblins. It's absolutely hilarious when the dwarves act like assholes for shits and giggles.

337
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Face Palm moments you had
« on: June 23, 2010, 02:56:06 am »
Today: New fort. Almost immediately started smelting coal and iron bars to quickly get steel outfits for my future military. I finish 60 bars of iron and put in the order to turn 30 of them into pig iron.

Urist McSmelter cancels Make Pig Iron Bars: Needs stone.

<Check wiki>

...I don't have any flux.

And that's why you always look for flux first.

338
DF Suggestions / Re: Blunt weapons should ignore armour
« on: June 22, 2010, 06:18:40 am »
plate should be nearly immune to being cut by bladed weapons as some were rather big in order to combat plate and larger pole armshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zweih%C3%A4nder  and these swords were not used to try and cut through plate, there was more bashing involved
The main advantage hammers have over swords is that their weight is almost entirely in their head and so its easier for them to gain the necessary amount of momentum
Other later bladed weapons though made for fighting much lighter armored opponents would have been much easier to hit gaps in the armor and unless it is a full suit there will be lots of unfortunate gaps, though finding these could go up with skill.

Don't forget the Mordhau sword technique. Armor was so effective that gripping your sword by the blade and smacking the other guy in the face with the pommel/crossguard could be as effective, if not more so, in striking at a well-protected area.


Well, getting whacked in the face will generally cause an effective result

The guy on the receiving end would typically be wearing a helmet. :P

Although my post's wording was unclear.

Ah, I guess it's my turn to be embarrassed. Still though, that's rather impressive if they did it through a helmet.

339
DF Adventure Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your adventure?
« on: June 22, 2010, 01:08:14 am »
I was just offered a mission to kill a dwarven child, according to the dwarven king his people have been tormented by a fearsome foe (the child)   ;D

Well, it's actually depressingly common. I've been sent by some Elves to kill a child who was the enemy of their civ.

Seriously, the elves hire a heavily armored dwarf and order him to kill a little kid.

Naturally, I did it with gusto.

340
DF Suggestions / Re: Blunt weapons should ignore armour
« on: June 22, 2010, 01:03:57 am »
plate should be nearly immune to being cut by bladed weapons as some were rather big in order to combat plate and larger pole armshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zweih%C3%A4nder  and these swords were not used to try and cut through plate, there was more bashing involved
The main advantage hammers have over swords is that their weight is almost entirely in their head and so its easier for them to gain the necessary amount of momentum
Other later bladed weapons though made for fighting much lighter armored opponents would have been much easier to hit gaps in the armor and unless it is a full suit there will be lots of unfortunate gaps, though finding these could go up with skill.

Don't forget the Mordhau sword technique. Armor was so effective that gripping your sword by the blade and smacking the other guy in the face with the pommel/crossguard could be as effective, if not more so, in striking at a well-protected area.


Well, getting whacked in the face will generally cause an effective result

341
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your fort?
« on: June 20, 2010, 10:04:39 am »
Under siege, so I closed the doors and decided to wait it out.  Good-sized siege, too...  Trolls, goblins, some of them mounts; probably three groups in total.

Mid-way through the siege, a titan shows up - a humanoid made of opal with a couple tails.

The titan attacks the goblins, massive bloodshed ensues.

The siege is broken, the few remaining survivors run for their lives.

The titan has lost its entire upper body.  He's just a couple legs wandering around the countryside.  He's no longer attacking anyone, but my dwarves still run in fear whenever he wanders by.

Did it still have its hips?

342
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: the human diplomat is a WHAT?!?
« on: June 08, 2010, 06:13:41 am »
How else will the humans impress us if they can't send demonic lizards as their trading agents?

By Reaching The Stuff On High Shelves.

The porno mags?

Quite the diplomatic breakthrough, wouldn't you say?

Depends. Is it human porn? Dwarf porn? Human dressed as dwarf porn that you might be interested in because it destroys lives?

If that existed then it would probably cause the universe to explode.

343
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Standard goblin seige?2010
« on: June 08, 2010, 03:57:57 am »
Well, I just got my fort up to 80 population, and a siege came within a season.  We've got a bit less than 300000 created wealth.  (More, now that the mid-siege mood is complete.)  I got a single squad of 15 swordsgobs, and a hammergob RIDING A GIANT TOAD.

They killed a dog who attacked them, and a kitten who happened to be outside, while the rest of my fortress ran inside.

Then the giant toad jumped into the outdoor well.  The hammergob drowned.  The giant toad is still sitting there, and most of the swordsgobs are standing around the totally bloodsoaked well.

This might be what you can expect.

Wait, the toad murdered its rider?

344
DF Adventure Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your adventure?
« on: June 05, 2010, 11:23:44 pm »
I just generated an evil world, (odd, considering it doesn't have any elves). Let's cleanse this shit.

EDIT:

SO MANY FUCKING BEAK DOGS AAAAAAAAAA

EDIT2:

ALMOST ALL OF THE SEMIMEGABEASTS ARE UNDEAD AAAAAAA

Well, you're fucked. That's the only thing I have to say for your situation.

345
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your fort?
« on: May 23, 2010, 02:31:06 am »
Even better - my first mood was my mason - I'll see your skull bracelet and raise you one aptly-named Skull Throne.

Quote
Bloodpage the Veneration of Eviscerations

This is a skull throne. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is decorated with skull and skull. This object menaces with spikes of skull, and elf skull.

On the item is an image of a dragon in red diamond.

(I cheated a little with ethics and made actual skulls [SHELL]s)

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

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