Bay 12 Games Forum

Woah dude! you just fu*K'n killed that guy! ... oh well, rat weed. *smokes*

Didn't know the ground here was so bouncy. ON WITH THE BOOZERING!

YAY! Someone actually joined a fort I am running! As a result, more story:

The queen paced in her throne room. The BlackHats, again. In her two years of rule she had learned what all rulers of the Exalted works learn: you do not mess with the BlackHat Family. Once (and only once) she had ordered one of them beaten for not filling a work order for raw green glass doors. When the Hammerer had reached the Mason's home, ten burly BlackHats were waiting for him. They piled on him, tore off his armor, dragged him naked to the dinning hall and proceeded to punch him until they had broken every bone in his body. Said Hammerer was still in the hospital. No one would raise a hand towards them now, these sons and daughters of the Dungeon Master.

Speaking of which... *Kur-Clunk* he was on his way *Kur-Clunk* to meet the Queen *Kur-Clunk*. "Dungeon Master 'Stone Leg,'" half-croaked the queen as he walked into her chambers. The imposing figure of a Steel Dwarf that stood in the doorway was over five Urists tall, and had a snow-white beard so long and graceful that it made Dwarfettes a less then a third his age swoon and blush. "A third his age would be 102 years now," thought the queen, her mind wandering to the truly disturbing feature of this old Dwarf: below the knee, his left leg was not a leg at all, but a high boot carved from slate, fused there with alchemy.

He smiled broadly. "Call Me Great Gramps, like the little BlackHats do."

The queen swallowed. "I called you here because.."

"...of the Boy," he cut her off. BlackHat the younger: both of them knew this was not the first riot he had started. The younger dwarves and dwarfettes hung off his every word; he was just so assertive. "I'll talk to him." said the clan head.

Hearing this, the queen breathed a sigh of relief, and thanked him.

OOC: Di, you are now a farmer with 4 in herbalism, 4 in farming fields, and 2 in knife use.

Edited for many reasons

The oldest son of the Black Hat family watched the wagon slowly roll towards the great stone doors of the mountain home. "Stop!" he screamed, "you don't have to do this!" The thundering of the many gears turning did little to blunt his cry, but still the doors gradually, painfully, opened to the outside. "THIS IS MURDER!" bellowed the now red-faced scion. A muskox and a donkey pulled the squeaky-wheeled cart out the doors and into the light. "IT'S A DEATH SENTENCE, FOR ARMOK'S SAKE! SOME BONE AARDVARKING CRAFTS! THAT'S WHAT THIS IS FOR! ALL THEY DID WAS NOT MAKE SOME STUPID BONE CRAFTS, AND SHE IS SENDING THEM TO AN UNDEAD-FILLED GLACIER! DAMN YOU ALL!!!!".

Heavy creaking and groaning signaled the closing of the grand entrance. He railed on the impassive slate with all the rage he could muster, then he turned to the dwarves milling about the Fortress, not a care in the world, while this, this monstrosity, unfolded right before their eyes! Now his eyes burned with the heat of myriad magma forges. The young Black Hat grabbed the nearest guard and threw him bodily into the closest craft shop. "RIOT!!!!" he shouted, and, as if on cue, younger dwarves all over the mountain home went wild. Walls were torn down, shops toppled, roads smashed, levers pulled, and floors flipped. Screams of "NO MORE HEADSHOOTS!" and, "WE ARE DONE WITH DEATH TRAPS!" echoed all through the halls.

OOC: Hi all, TALLPANZER AKA Mr. BlackHat here. I plan to basically build a "bread basket" fort. There will be some odd rules for this. #1 ABSOLUTELY NO MAKING CRAFTS FOR TRADE! We trade food, booze, wood, stone, metal, and that's all! #2 we take only what we need from the ground. This means we only dig to get stone and metal, period! #3 We live above ground (mostly), under ground stores and tombs are fine, but that's all. #4 Keep wealth down, we export goods here, not hoard them. #5 no engraving. The only exceptions to this rule are tombs. #6 the mantle of leadership is passed when asked. Finally #7 (this is the most important rule) KEEP DWARVES ALIVE! You will do everything in your power to keep the dwarves alive, EVERYTHING!

To start, I need two farmers (one of whitch must have some herbalism) two hunters, and two wild cards; I'll be making a Steel Dwarf Animal Handler for myself.

Questions? comments? Random insults? Actual participation?

Edited for many reasons

I say we draw lots, winner fights the wolves, by them selves! And while we are at it, the peasant can start digging some living space for us.

DUN DUN DUN!
*gets hit with a plumphelmet for overacting*

If you write it they will post....