Egyptian Diplomat : How dare you attack our lands!
Masseur, have you left his cage unlocked?
Egyptian Diplomat : THIS IS NO WAY TO TREAT A DIPLOMAT! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?
Let me tell you the story of an ancient hero of Armenia, one that - legends say - still roams the land. A story, about ME.
His armor was red, his beard long and white.
Two weapons - large sickles - he swung with great might.
His chariot bound eight large and strange beasts,
each of these daily on the weak would feast.
His warcry, three loud "Ho's", froze more than one foe.
Their heads were then smashed by his mighty toe.
Gifts of war he-- *
interrupted by tactless Egyptian diplomat*
Egyptiant Diplomat : Cut the crap, Santa, our mighty Pharaoh will crush you!
Bend over, and i'll show you what i think of your Pharaoh!
- Sir! Admiral Rockhard brings news of great victories!
Ah! Investing all our income into building navy has paid off then?
- Yes, mighty leader. We've caught the second Greek transport fleet, that had an entire army aboard. (
that's right, i've sunk BOTH Greek armies)
This means that..
- Yes, Road to Rhodes is finally open.
Ha! Hahaha! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
: Keep it down! I'm trying to re-assemble a skull here.. Isn't that right, mr chuckles?
- Mister chuckles is..
: The skull i'm re-assembling.
Rainbow is one of the generals that will never be forgotten, although we will all keep trying.
: Yo, Egyptizzle attackizzle our positizzle.
- Is he even using his brain?
Well.. I see the wheel spinning, but the hamster appears to be dead.
..Yet, he is our greatest general.. (
just look at the stars he gained!)
- Sweet irony, sir?
It's bitter.
: *
keeps izzling*
- Can not understand a single word..
Then let us hope that this deformed dialect dies with him. AFTER he captures Jerusalem!
Each day, i wish for a normal general to appear. However. No matter what i sacrifice on an altar, the stone gods still refuse my request. Masseur, it seems that you are the only thing left, that...
(
General Beardfacé) : I like to crush the souls of my enemies.
Oh.. Well, lead our forces in Antioch, promising one.
: Any survivors?
: Woof.
: Round them up, and beat to death with sticks.
- Sir..?
I LOVE HIM!
(in case you forgot :
Leibovitz): Re vera, potas bene (
I was aiming at : Say, you sure drink a lot)
Oh.. i know the answer to that one.. eee... Braccae illae... virides cum subucula rosea et tunica.. Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur! (
Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt and the plaid jacket!) Damn i'm good! Master of all speeches!
: Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur (
Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.)
OUT! OUT, BEFORE I EXILE YOU!
- Sir, Leibovitz is already a diplomat..
SILENCE!
- Sir, our forces have landed and are about to cleanse Rhodes.
Splendid!
- However, a Greek diplomat is here, trying to bribe us into ceasefire.
Foolish Greeks. Unless they brought flying carpets, i want them kicked out of OUR lands!
- Sir, they..
No! I've made my decision. Send them away.
- As you wish, my lord.
Greek Diplomat : He won't even see me?! OUTRAGE! I shall take the flying carpet and leave!
: Kaguro got a new tittle! Kaguro super-important now.
..the CUNNING?! Now i've seen it all.
- His face.. Gray beard.. How old is he anyway, sir?
Nobody knows, because Kaguro can't count that high.
: Uh.. we use archers, infantry protect, only cavalry move.
- Yet he IS a very capable general, who has mastered the art of war.
Scary, isn't it?
- Kaguro, along with other generals, has crushed enemy reinforce--
I'm tired of Phalanx battles, let it run without my interference. Just show me the results.
: I pity these hoplites..
WHAT did he say!? WHAT IS GOING O-- Oh my..
- It appears the battle was won, and that by destroying all forces, we have a free way into the city.
Which units did the best job?
- Cretan foot archers.
... Damn! (
yes, folks, Cretan mercenaries can be THAT good)
: Rhodes be ours, and.. Me wants a raise.
..sigh.. All right, i'll pay you twice as much as i do now.
: Uhh.... But Kaguro not getting paid at all.
Ok, ok, three times as much.
: Yay!
Damn generals are just like children..
And children are like farts.. You can stand only your own ones.
: Did he..?
Slagathor von Bergfreud : Just nod, Beardfacé. Nod and move along.
.. You know.. My cheap attempts at making good.. average.. poor jokes. 
: Wait a minute.. add three stones.. divide by two.. plus five...
: Battle wounds make me forget about the pain inside.
(Ezekiel the Weird) : Looking good, Supreme Leader!?
(Tyler the Eater of Walls) : *silence*
(Beorge X. Gush) : Don't forget to mention that he is in possession of a hidden, wooden weapon that threatens us all!
: She'll find ya!
