Bay 12 Games Forum

I miss all the crazy shit I had on Tylui's (?) server, like the bird-murderizing spacescraper (it rained pixels and meat) and the giant-martini-glass hellevator.

Happies today:

• Got 100% on my most recent applied chem exam. Take that, enthalpy, electron shells, specific heat capacity, and other concepts!
• A. told me that her "He's dumb" remark was meant to refer to our Bio prof, not me; my response:
  
  Me: "Oh... OK." *awkward pause* "... I am kind of a dumbass sometimes."
  A.: (faintly amused?) "We all have our moments."
  
  I like this girl.
• Explained the different test and control groups in our fluorescent bacteria experiment to a small group of people; I was awkward, incoherent, and not very articulate, but I said words at people today, damn it! In your face, anxiety!

Lycopodium powder is
 [...] composed of the dry spores of clubmoss plants
 [...] sometimes used as a lubricating dust on skin-contacting latex (natural rubber) goods, such as condoms and medical gloves.

Doctor: "You need surgery? Sure thing, let me just put on these spore-covered gloves first."
Patient: "Uhh... wow, look at the time; nope o'clock already, haha! I gotta go, I'm running late!" *flees*

Andux's Awkward Anxiety Adventures, episode 4: Apply directly to the forehead.
(TL;DR: Andux used Madcap Scheme. It's sorta effective!)

Recently, I began to concoct a cunning plan to overcome my natural shyness; I reasoned thusly:

• The thought of unintentionally doing or saying something foolish causes me anxiety.
• I am fairly comfortable with the idea of intentionally making an ass of myself in order to make people laugh.
• Therefore, I should try sticking a Post-It note to my face, and see if that helps break the ice.

Today, I decided to put that plan into action; some time before Bio class, I wrote "Post-It: Apply directly to the forehead." on a Post-It off-brand sticky note and, after doing as the note now instructed, headed over to where B. was sitting.

Me: (slightly nervous) "Hello."
B.: *no discernable reaction*
Me:
B.: *is apparently completely engrossed in watching something on her phone*
Me: .o{Thanks for noticin' me.}

I sit there awkwardly for several minutes, hoping she'll look over, see me, and laugh; unfortunately, she does not acknowledge me at all (then or later on). After a while, another classmate of ours (quiet, hipster glasses, kinda looks like he should be the front man in an indie-pop band; call him J.) shows up; he looks me over briefly, but once again I get no reaction.

Me: *gesturing vaguely at Post-It* "Seriously, nothing?"
J.: *looks at me and/or B. for a moment, then heads into the classroom without saying anything*
Me: *confused gesture directed toward the universe at large*

After another minute or so of awkward sitting, our Bio professor shows up, but unlike the other two, he actually reacts; he comes over, squints at the note, and chuckles a bit before heading on into the classroom. After a moment, B. follows him in; I give it a minute before heading in myself.

I leave the note on during class; out of a class of 15 students, 8 (including A., B., and J.) exhibit no visible reaction, 4 or 5 laugh/smile (one guy pauses to read it first, and two girls ask questions afterwards: "Why do you have a sticker on your head?" (Me: "Just trying to break the ice." ), and either "Who did that?" or "Whose is that?" (Me: "Huh?")), and one guy (the last to notice it) just stops to read it before issuing a vaguely puzzled "Huh."

After we finish up for the day and people start leaving, I address A. on her way to the door:

Me: "So, really? No reaction to the Post-It?"
A.: *stops, peers at the note* "What does it say?"
Me: "'Post-It: Apply directly to the forehead.'"
A.: *laughs, walks off*

I should see her again this afternoon (bio tests for everyone today, apparently); we'll see how it goes then.

No dice; she didn't come to class this afternoon. She did leave early the other day to take her cat to the vet; I think the phone call was bad news on that front.

Just relax, plan out your approach of course, but don't view her reaction as though she's in the stands of the Coliseum about to decide your fate with a thumb-signal.

That will definitely be easier with her than it was with the last girl I tried talking to.


The original plan with that girl--let's call her A., and the girl from today B. (as it happens, those are their actual first initials; evidently my libido works in alphabetical order now)--was this: After finishing the day's chemistry exam, I hang around in the hall for a few minutes (during the previous exam, she finished just a minute or two after I did); when she comes out, I catch her eye, she stops for a moment, and I say, "Hey, sorry if this is weird, but would you maybe like to get some lunch or something? Nothing too serious, just food and conversation." What actually happened was more like this:

[After finishing the day's chemistry exam, I stand around in the hall like a creep for like 20 minutes; when A. finally comes out, I completely fail to catch her eye.]
Me: (too quietly to be heard) "^_Hey."
A.: *keeps walking*
Me: (louder) "Umm..."

It may just be because I startled her, but the moment I said "Um," she turned around and fixed me with the most terrifying, icy gaze, like a predatory bird sizing up a field mouse.

A.: *turns, wary* ಠ_ಠ

My though process at that point went something like, "OhGodpleasedon'tkillme, pleasedon'tkillme, I'llneverbotheryouagain, I swear! Oh God, she's waiting for me to say something. What do I say? 'Please don't kill me?' No! The plan, just stick to the plan, get it over with."

Me: *panics* (mumbling) "^_Hey, s-sorry this is weird... do you wanna have lunch?"
A.: *briefly surprised, forcing a polite smile* "I... actually have to work."
Me: (lamely) "Oh, OK."
A.: "OK?" *backs away slooowly leaves the building*
Me: .o{Huh, that actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be.} *shrugs, chuckles* "^_Okay." *shakes head, heads off to lunch alone*

---

Actual happy: No more stupid political ads!
^{_{Just the usual assortment of stupid politicians.}}

Go talk to her Y'all will learn anxiety may be mutual and/or self-restrained!

I plan on giving it another go next time I see her; hopefully, I can skip the whole standing-around-awkwardly-for-15-minutes part this time and just go straight to the sitting-there-awkwardly-with-no-idea-what-to-say-next bit.

inb4 thing she said was code for the bomb under your house

inl8rthan ~40% chance that "it was nice not talking to you" was in there somewhere.

Fun fact: When I was in high school, one of my classmates set up a Hotmail account during computer class; the minimum password length was 8 characters, so he (quite publicly) chose to use "12345678".

I can confirm that he was still using the same password several years later, after I left school; AFAIK, he never changed it. Some people just cannot into security.

Background: I am taking a couple college science classes; today I got back some graded lab worksheets for applied chem.


I don't always get positive feedback from my instructor after being a smartass on the safety quiz,
but when I do, I prefer posting in the happy thread.

Stay snarky, my friends.