I want to play on a map that has things that attack me yet still gives me some time to set up.
There is no set answer cause sometimes you just draw the unlucky card more than others (I have spent time in terrifying biomes where I don't see anything more savage then the odd skeletal fox for years and biomes where I am attacked by werewolves right on the outset. That said I think your best bet would be a 'savage' (untamed wilds for example) biome that is not evil (so untamed/joyous wilds). That will have a fair few creatures looking to cause you trouble without having hordes of zombies and the undead (plus right now undead suck).
What should I put into the search specifics when I use the find desired location?
I never use that thing anymore, I just cruise around with the curser until I find something I like. That said I'd search for something savage (mentioned above) with a water source (aquifer ideally if you can handle them, or a brook/river), trees, other plants, etc. Also check to make sure there are other races (both to trade with and fight) where you are.
Also I dont plant on setting up a military and want to rely on traps. What types of dwarves do I need?
Well traps I assume are linked to mechanics but I don't think you really need anybody special to make them well or quickly. You'll want lots of wood or metal for cages and lots of metal for weapons for weapon traps (you can also use stone fall traps until you get better ones).
What skills should they have? mining masonry mechanics grower brewer woodcutter etc.
Well trap issues aside, I normally embark with a setup more geared towards military that said some good training to have (in no particular order) would be..
Farming/Cooking/Brewing: Aside from using this as an industry its always good to get your food stuffs going quickly, starving is a common cause of death particularly for new players.
Mining/Woodchopping: This is a toss up cause these skills will grow fast but at the same time it does save a lot of time early on.
Medical: Always good to have a doctor on hand.
Broker/Clerk: Good to have some skills for your future broker and clerk to keep your fortress running smoothly.
Weaponsmith: Make nicer weapons for those weapon traps
If you do decide you want to set up a military in an embark its good to have a few military dwarves (ambusher/archer, weapon/shield, etc) to head out with.
what materials hould i bring?
Food and drink (I usually go with what they default you to as its more than enough for me to get by with without me having to worry about setting industry up too quickly, but if you are new you may want to take a little more), a few craft materials (leather, gems, cloth, etc) in case you get an early 'mood', some picks and axes for production, some rock if you are going somewhere that has an aquifer, and some animals for food/materials and/or protection (I normally take a few dogs to use for protection and a a few turkeys for food and materials (leather specifically).