Well, I started a fort with the intention of following it from the perspective of the Doctor, but after all the updates I abandoned said fort.
Thought I would post how far I got anyway though! Enjoy!
May contain some strong language, as a warning:
1st Granite - 1051
Shit. Thats lot of Bonobo monkeys. I give it maybe a year before theyre bumraping our corpses with their overeager monkeylove.
Anyway, here we are, Channelsieges, apparently. Can’t say im too reassured by the “sieges” part of that name, but we’ll see where this goes.
11th Granite - 1051
Well, thats fucking awesome. Thanks Mr Miner - dig out a hole to fill with clean drinking water - good idea, use a pump to desalinate ocean water - i question the logic, but it seemed to work. Thats all fine. So then dig a hole straight into the planned cistern from the ocean? Good job idiot, oddly enough the salt water and clean water mix to make... you guessed it... MORE FUCKING SALTWATER.
Looks like i’ll be treating dehydration alot. Also looks like euthanasia may well become commonplace.
16th Granite - 1051
Had to treat minor monkey bites today, the woodcutter doesn’t want to talk about it, but the bonobos look way too fucking happy.
Fuck you all, horny monkeys.
3rd Slade - 1051
Well, im still sleeping outside - in the rain, because the carpenter has walled himself inside his own bizarre creation, and he can take the wall down himself, because i am sure as fuck not doing it for him.
In better news, the cistern has clean water in again, now that it has been drained and refilled.
23rd Slade - 1051
Ahh, managed to convince the carpenter to build my log cabin, with an extension out to sea. Bare in mind this is the same carpenter who is currently full of monkey fluids and walled himself into a cave...
13th Felsite - 1051
Ok, so, now we’ve got cheetahs, but they seem to have chased off the hornyasfuckmonkeys, id rather be ripped apart by a cheetah then pinned down and abused by some perverse monkeys.
I felt it safest to put the lever that controls the main gate in my own room. Never can be too careful.
18th Felsite - 1051
Well. Hes dead.
Turns out that testing a drawbridge repeatedly can lead to the crushing of a dwarf. To be honest youd think he wouldn’t stand under it, but i gave up on thinking these idiots have common sense. I probably helped the gene pool in the long run to be honest.
Anyway, i probably better go fetch the body...
19th Felsite - 1051
Hahahahahah....
Soooo muuuch bloooood. Ahh, sweet giver of life... you will be mine. I will decorate my room with your sweet redness...
I mean, the corpse is not even recoverable. Idiot.
I wonder where that cows blood we brought with us went, my room could do with painting...
14th Hematite - 1051
FUCKING MONKEYS. Theyre back, those black haired bastards, buggering each other outside my fort... Well, I’ll show them... Seal the walls for now, and someone make me a crossbow!
16th Hematite - 1051
I am officially the new sheriff, give me that fucking copper helmet and palm crossbow, im going out monkey hunting...
20th Malachite - 1051
I see migrants on the horizon! Haha, come on in suckers, meet the monkey loving woodcutter and the salt water happy miner. Its like a real family in here, dont mind the tiny splat of blood on the bridge, its just for decor...
25th Malachite - 1051
Damnit, out of bolts... Well screw you bonobo monkey, here I come anyway. TAKE THAT, AND SOME OF THAT.
*Mashes the shit out of a monkey*
Ha, yeah, whos the man now? Huh bitch??
*Buggers mangled corpse of monkey*
Yeah thats right.
28th Malachite - 1051
WHAT?! After much exploratory mining, there turns out to not even be any adamantine down there. Give me that pick.
*Mines down into hell*
Enjoy yourself fuckers.
