Bay 12 Games Forum

I keep used ammunition forbidden, until the siege is over or I notice it in safe areas. Or a dwarf. I like to imagine the doctors' conversations with the patients when there's a siege and I don't notice that Urist McPincushion got a silver bolt lodged in his pancreas.

Urist McPincushion runs to the hospital and sits into a bed.
McPincushion: "Doc, get this thing outta meh!"
McSurgeon: "Bah. Not gonna do it."
MP: "What? Why!? I need medical attention!"
MS: "I ain't touchin' it! It's covered in pancreasticle juice, and I'm goin' te lunch!"

I'm a subscriber to the Terry Pratchett view of dwarves: that much of courtship is actually trying to figure out which gender the other partner is without outright asking, and that it's grounds for a quick divorce that turns a spouse into a drinking buddy if you find out you were wrong.

Dear Urist McCan'tFindHisShit,

Fine, you can't store something because it's inaccesible. Fine. Whatever. Stop trying. You alone have created pages upon pages of cancellation messages.

If you can't reach something, either let me know what it actually is so I can help out, or just consider that sock freaking lost.

If you weren't our resident legendary stonecrafter, the first page of cancellation messages would have had you inaccessible: encased in obsidian.

Just waiting for your wife to hit legendary,
the X over the lever.

Dear human diplomat,

When you came begging for peace, I originally wanted to answer with an axe because 1) this war started when you showed up at my doorstep with some completely unprovoked vendetta against woodcutters' spleens and eyeballs and B) you're also the human law-giver, and I thought responding to "please stop putting bolts through our faces" would best be dealt with "shut up, and deal without your leader".

But I think I'll save that little giggle in case your general ever comes around. That seems more useful.

And I do owe your last caravan guard's Captain McBadass a debt of honor for marching out to meet the last siege with leather armor and a copper spear and single-handedly kill every last troll save the one that beat him with a gold door so the goblins could surround him.

So, I think I'll take your offer. Mostly because all the blood has soaked into the trees so bad that our new beds stink. Besides, we just sold you so much of your own uselessly large crap--even after keeping the metal stuff to melt--that we just got a 10 FPS boost.

Happy to see you leave, because you're going quicker,
the overseer.

In my non-‼science‼ observational methods, wrestlers benefit just as much as regular dwarves from center-mass armor (leather armor, breastplates, etc.) and even more so from high boots, gauntlets, possibly greaves, and arguably helms.

Trying to grab onto creatures seems to provoke attacks of opportunity against their legs and arms.

Or perhaps my dwarves should just learn not to try to grab a goblin's axe hand or a badger by the lower jaw.

This particular one, I haven't checked. My last one was raised from a captain of the guard, who had claimed an artifact weapon.

Awesome weapon aside, I was hoping to avoid the tantrum spirals.

My count is mostly pleasant and down to earth, aside from his demands for crystal glass stuff. Which doesn't work. So I made an obsidian forming chamber sauna in hopes of cheering him up.

I'm used to filling a chamber with magma (currently the boiling chamber) and then dumping water on it. If I use the water as a drowning chamber, then dump it and the count onto the magma, does obsidian form before the count's nice stuff burns up, or does it still go?

The worst I remember was a worthless base stone table (it wasn't even gneiss!) sporting only a picture of a large roach.

I can only imagine how that went over in the dining hall.