Upon reaching my new fortress-to-be, I see a giant pile of materials randomly strewn in front of the entrance way. So squeezing my way through the pile of junk, I make my way into the fort.
The first thing I notice is that the hallways are nice and long, but empty with a bunch of equally empty rooms, except for of course, the workshops and a room full of… refuse?
So ignoring these rather dismayal seeming appearances, I continue downwards towards the dwarven dormitories to put down my stuff and…
What the hell?
A long row of cramped looking 1X1 cubicles were squished against each other in a neat, but uncomfortable looking manner. I don’t know about the other dwarves, but I just happen to have the slightest case of claustrophobia, so instead of sleeping in one of those tiny bin sized dugouts, I’m gonna make sure the miners dig out a room of my own.
Touring further into the fort, I see that the miners have breached the cavern, but are pussying out and refusing to dig further. Now what the heck is with that? Were these dwarves raised in some sort of gogo happy dreamland or something? I mean its not like there will be vile goblins, bloodthirsty demons, or huge friggin undead zombie killer whales rampaging through my fort just because I said hello to a little cavern right?
So anyways, it was about now that I started feeling hungry for some chow. I was led to the dining hall (not really much of a dining hall imo) and there I was presented with the wonderful menu of…
Plump helmets
A few old pieces of meat
Now what the heck yo? I am not gonna be spending the rest of my life dieting on nothing but stale mushrooms and moldy meat. I need real food!
I’ll see to it that we get a couple of fisherdwarves and a cook as well.
One last thing I noticed was that throughout the tour, most of the dwarves appeared to be working at a rather slow pace. None of them seem particularly tired, so I asked a passerby,
“Hello there, may I ask you what your profession is?”
“Aye me? Why im a miner, mason, woodcrafter, metalcrafter, bone worker, tanner, wood burner, and hauler all in one”
…..
…
…
…
What
The
F--K?
(and here I thought they’d at least know something about specialization)
*sigh*
Well guess I’ve got a lot of work to do if I want to turn this little hole in the dirt into an actual fortress.
