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Messages - AzureAngelic

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1
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: PrideUnited! A platinum war hammer!
« on: July 08, 2011, 11:28:45 am »
WHAT.

SYRUPSPRINKLE?

CARNAL QUAKES?

Not only is he going around bitchslapping forgotten beasts with his massive platinum compensator, he's named like a fucking pornstar as well. Probably he's killing a dragon right now , while munching on a dwarven syrup roast, drinking some sunshine from his glass vial and boning a dwarfette. While standing around 20 inches away from her.

Dear lord, he's like the Dwarven equivalent of Duke Nukem.

2
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Agriculture
« on: July 08, 2011, 11:24:38 am »
I've found that in the last few forts the majority of my food supply has come from cooked turkey eggs.

That said, my previous fort ran a group of 1x7 plots, each dedicated to a specific plant. I also prefer to have only farmers harvest for most of the time, to train up grower. Eventually I have one super-skilled grower managing the crops easily, maybe adding a second if I get a good migrant.

I don't usually grow non-booze crops though, since I never seem to use the clothing industries.

3
Make a moat with a hollow outer wall, and fill the "insulation" with lava. This was, the moat stays hot.

Make sure the moat is empty.

Whenever a siege comes, throw all the bodies, equipment and prisoners into the moat. Let them melt.

A few years later, you'll have a molten moat of goblinite.

4
Assuming I have this right, turn the top half of the hourglass into a dwarfy village. Farms, booze, nobility, etc.

The bottom half is for all the dwarves in poverty. Dump booze down into it through the 1x1 bottleneck, and have the bottom half produce metal, gems and crafts for the top half.

5
DF Adventure Mode Discussion / Re: Write a theme song.
« on: January 11, 2011, 02:35:08 pm »
Aristole Gorgeflanked!
He's kicking down doors and beating up squirrels!
Aristole Gorgeflanked!
He doesn't give a shit about customs regulations!

Oh shit, there's a dragon!
It's burning down our stuff!
Go, Aristole, Go!
Kill it! Becase we can't!

<guitar solo>

Carp tremble in fear!
Goblins run in terror!
He's so incredibly awesome even the boogeymen don't mess with him!
Which isn't saying much, but still!

Aristole Gorgeflanked!
Probably the most badass guy on the planet!
Aristole Gorgeflanked!
So cool, he spends his spare time drowning in rivers!

<ending guitar riff accompanied by gurgling drowning noises>

6
Bugs/grievances that need to be fixed:

-dwarves using adamantine threads for surgery
-butchers not butchering despite being surrounded by dead things
-the dwarven socks-over-boots dilemma
-dwarves never changing clothes
-dwarves ignoring orders and running into sieges to pick up pants that they will never use
-elves winning wars, skirmishes and football matches

Bugs/grievances that need to never be fixed:

-planepacked artifacts
-dwarven atom smashers
-goblins stupidity

7
DF General Discussion / Re: Siege Weapons Speculation
« on: January 09, 2011, 10:52:16 pm »
More forms of ammo for catapults.

  • Throw booze barrels to make enemies susceptible to fire.
  • Throw platinum rocks to gib goblins across several tiles.
  • Throw +5 legendary adamantine-clad dwarven warriors to invade human siege camps.
  • Throw captured animals/prisoners/megabeasts to kill two birds one stone.
  • Throw skeletal carp to win.

8
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What will you do with moving fortress parts?
« on: November 26, 2010, 11:06:13 pm »
Straight hallway full of pressure plate-activated crushers.

Like Thwomps.

If you stop moving for even a second, you get smashed to pieces.

9
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Does Adamantine Glow?
« on: November 24, 2010, 05:23:57 pm »
I personally think Adamantine is a dull, solid dark-teal color. However, it's extremely glossy, and even the faintest forms of light reflect off it, making it stand out amongst other stones.



Like this, only a deeper shade, smooth, and mostly a solid color.

*totally making this up as i go along*

10
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Legitimately Terrifying Forgotten Beasts
« on: November 24, 2010, 05:19:28 pm »
A towering 3-eyed crocodile with 7 horns. Too bad it was pink.

If it was pink, maybe it's skin was either ridiculously thin or partially liquid...

As for myself, there's nothing quite like a gigantic winged tarantula with fire breath.

11
DF Adventure Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your adventure?
« on: November 23, 2010, 11:01:37 pm »
My newly-created hero was given the task of killing a jackass human Captain with a pike.

Upon striking down the pikeman, his second-hand man nailed me in the lung with a whip, putting me in mortal wound status. At the same time, two axemen, two crossbowmen, a maceman, a hammerman and another lasher surrounded me.

Lasher #1 has his left arm cut off and retreats.
Maceman is attacked in the leg, knocked down, and left to crawl away.
Crossbowman #1 shoots me from behind, embedding two silver bolts in me. I ignore him, and severely wound Lasher #2.
Axeman #1 and Crossbowman #2 attack at the same time. Axeman #1 has three of his limbs lopped off while Crossbowman #2 plants another four bolts in my back.
Maceman vomits.
Lasher #1 comes back as I cut off Crossbowman #2's leg.
Axeman #1 dies of blood loss.
Maceman gives in to pain.
Crossbowman #1 rushes me, and gets an axe to the torso in response.
Axeman #2 and Lasher #2 attack as Crossbowman #1 bleeds to death.
Lasher #2 gets an unlucky axe to the throat and dies.
Axeman #2 is knocked down and crawls away.
I rush Lasher #1 and finish him off.
Crossbowman #2 puts yet another bolt in me.
I walk up to Crossbowman #2 and slowly rip him apart.
Hammerman, who has been jacking off behind a tree all this time, runs up and hits me with a hammer.
I remove all of Hammerman's limbs, both his ears, one of his eyes, pop his guts out, and leave him to choke to death on his own blood.
Maceman comes back, takes a few glances at the battlefield, and promptly vomits to death.

End result: 9 dead humans. My hero has 7ish bolts in various parts of his body, a punctured lung, severe exhaustion, slashed up clothing, and several extra body parts.

Oh, and I set a chestnut tree on fire on top of the bodies, just to get the point across.

12
Today, the humans have discovered the ancient secrets of bridge building.



Seriously, how do they manage to do this?

Anyway, has anybody else found facepalm-inducing geographical locations, or am I just cursed to suffer eternally incompetent beings running the world?

13
DF General Discussion / Re: Dwarf Fortress Talk #10: Feedback
« on: October 12, 2010, 08:54:48 pm »
I hope egg-laying comes soon. I want to mod my DF with Team Fortress 2 stuff, and have Engineers running around pooping dispensers that grow into babby engineers.

14
DF Modding / A vile force of locomotion has arrived!
« on: September 21, 2010, 09:28:23 pm »
After playing DF for a while, I've decided to try and mod a new race. This is my first modding experience, and I've decided to use this as an excellent opportunity to examine the fascinating interactions between dwarves and trains.

The overall goal of this "project" is to create a civilization of trains. Although I call them a civ, they'll ideally be closer to bandits. The general problems I'm having are outlined below.

Idea: Metal trains that aren't nigh-invincible, preferably around the difficulty of goblins.
Problem: Making things of metal seems to make them hard to kill.
Possible Solution: Would it be possible to make a new metal, make it fairly easy to destroy, and set the trains to use it? Someone on the IRC channel suggested making them out of silver, but a silver train doesn't seem like it'd work too well.

Idea: Trains have the ability to run over dwarves.
Problem: Is it possible to make an attack that becomes stronger if a certain part (cowcatch) is removed?
Possible Solution: Two identical attacks, each corresponding to different parts?

Idea: Trains eat coke/coal. Raiding parties of trains descend on dwarven outposts, devouring all their fuel before making a retreat.
Problem: How the hell do I make a creature eat only coal? More importantly, how would a train 'city' produce coal?
Possible Solution: A custom workshop that only trains can use, that creates a new food item from coals. This seems like it'd need a lot of work...

Idea: Trains have no vital organs, but destroying the wheels makes them crash.
Problem: I don't think it's possible to tie body parts to movement without completely incapacitating them.

Idea: Trains constantly produce smoke from their smokestacks.
Problem: I have no idea how the hell this would work.
Possible Solution: Lighting them on fire?

Idea: Trains cannot swim, yet do not die in water, and eventually rust.
Problem: Again, not even sure if it's possible. Not to mention they'd all implode every time it rained.

Some other general concepts:

-Trains start appearing in small packs around the same time goblins begin besieging. Before this, individual trains may try and break into the fort. Train sieges come at the same time as megabeasts.
-Trains laugh at cage traps, yet can be beaten down by weapon traps, and absolutely hate siege engines.
-Trains have a natural, deep-seating and mutual hatred of elves, most likely over charcoal usage. In addition, they habitually destroy human walls.
-Trains do not use weapons.
-Trains are divided into castes, each using a different body type. Some have passenger cars, some have coal cars and some are just locomotives.
-Trains do not reproduce with males and females. They either bud asexually, construct more of themselves, or crawl out of volcanoes.
-Trains love cheese! Trains regained 60 HP.


Ideas? Suggestions? Anything?

15
DF Adventure Mode Discussion / Re: Draw your adventures
« on: September 13, 2010, 07:55:14 am »
I dunno, they look more like trains to me.

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