Bay 12 Games Forum

Quote from: kaijyuu on July 04, 2012, 01:57:30 pm

Silly prudes.

We're fruit now?

The mental images whyyyyyy

Quick question, whats your class with your highest point count?

Demoman with 183.

I blame trade servers.

Pizza. Wait, shit, no, that's a vegetable.

I'd probably vote for tomatoes or strawberries.

What's that? The TE story arc needs to continue?
Shut up, audience, I'm busy illustrating it. It's not exactly easy wor-
Why illustrate it when writing's been good enough so far?
Because screw you, that's why. Yeah, I said it. Screw yo- OH GOD DON'T GET THE JACKALS. FINE YOU IMPATIENT LITTLE [oh my expletives]. Have a recap of intruder events before I get back to writing the story.

So TE, TB, and CA all crashed into the session by way of a series of unfortunate explosions, dropping the majority of their weird items on the Battlefield. CA got launched onto LoPaV, where he's currently scrambling about trying to find Alex. TB got launched onto... whatever the acronym for Emily's Land is, got in some arguments, and is probably going to be accompanying Mimi back to a portal sometime soon. TE accidentally double-god-tiered on a Quest Bed on LoCaC; one of his godtier selves kicked some royal ass in his original session and is about to get in trouble with the Theif of Breath. The other one woke up on the Battlefield, killed some shit, and is either going to jump to one of the other planets, get in a fight with LH, or both. Oh, and everybody has names, but I'm too lazy to use those in the summary.

Got all that? Good, now I can get back to actual story developments.

Jack: Be coding.
Yeah, instead of time-warping like you said you would, you've pretty much been repurposing an old tracking program of yours. You used to use it to keep track of the various other timeselves running about and causing chaos, but you think you can rebuild it to find TE. From there, you can hopefully build a little portal to drop him.... somewhere. Probably on a meteor near Derse, since that's closer to the Void. Of course, all this was about three relative hours ago - you've been coordinating with various time-looped iterations of yourself to get it done in the hour before Mimi gets back. One copy of you shows up, yells that he's finally got it all compiled, and runs the finished tracking-and-portaling program right as Mimi walks in and sees about twelve iterations of you. Welp, looks like it's time to go back again and continue the loop. Here's hoping there weren't any bugs.

Page-TE: Sulk.
She asked where the weapon you 'borrowed' was. You said you didn't have it. She mocked you for being a gigantic failure like she always does. You've spent the past fifteen minutes or so either wallowing in self-pity or listening to her bitch about how like half of her powers relied on that thing and why'd you have to go lose it in some space-time portal and blah blah blah. Generally, you try to be a happy, helpful guy but you're about fed up with her shit at this point, so you make the historic mistake of opening your mouth.
It's at this point that both parties have noticed a large, blue, orb floating seemingly in midair. TE goes to poke it, but is shoved away by CC, who punches the thing... and instantaneously disappears. TE then proceeds to cautiously poke it, and disappears as well.

Seriously? Another character?
Yes. Shut up and let me get back to the story.

CC: Reappear on Derse's moon.
Wait, shouldn't we have descriptive text about the new character first?
Yeah, probably. Fine, here ya go.

Your name is HANNAH BILLIAN. You've never understood why so many people who know have names that are SO DAMN DIFFICULT TO PRONOUNCE. Anyways, before Sburb, you spent most of your time messing up TE's life due to societal structure and the fact that you're just plain stronger than he is. Well, until you cut off each others' arms. After that, you pretty much left him alone, even during Sburb. Hell, you even pretended not to notice when he took a LEGENDARY WEAPON from you because he needed a gameplay crutch - mostly because you rather like your remaining arm, and you couldn't wield the thing anyways with your CLAYMOREKIND abstratus. You figured you'd let him keep it, until you learned that most of your THIEF OF BREATH powers stemmed from the thing. After that, most of your time was spent either picking up the slack that he left behind when he screwed up that little weapon innovation, or bitching about how you don't get the most out of your powers because of the little bastard. Heck, you were even busy complaining about it when you reached GOD-TIER and basically LEARNED TO FLY. Your chumhandle is convenientClaymore, and you talk like someone who actually knows how to speak, instead of a twit who insists on pretending they have a speech impediment.

BACK TO STORYTELLING.

Hannah: Reappear on Derse's moon.
You promptly reappear on the Earth-session Derse, wondering what the shit that was and hoping your legendary thingamabob is somewhere nearby. You float around, but nothing really interesting comes up. You don't really care, honestly, but you do wonder where the hell the little Page kid went - and more importantly, WHERE IS YOUR WINDY THING GOD DAMMIT.

Windy Thing: Be on TE's corpse on LoCaC.
You continue being an inanimate object in the sylladex of a corpse. This isn't exciting in any way, shape, or form. Whoopee. Let's get back to someone who's actually doing something.

Page-TE: Land on Jack's head.
You reappear right above Jack's head as one of the other humans walks into the... you think you're in a factory of some sort? Whatever. You pick yourself up off of the swearing mess of caffeine and time-travel that is Jack, dust yourself off, and decide that it'd be better if you let Jack do all the talking, and hope that Hannah didn't end up floating out in space. Actually, you don't really give two shits now that she's off your back, so she may as well be floating out in space. Good riddance.

Jack: Realize your code did, in fact, have some bugs.
You realize your code did, in fact, have some bugs - right about when an alien in green pajamas falls onto your noggin. You scramble to get him off, and notice that all of your other timeselves have gone back to do more coding already, and that Mimi's here. Welp, guess you're probably going to have to explain your way out of this one.

TBlog will be tomorrow, barring chores and other such stuff. Also, Blade, please remind me to throw you a PM about CC, since I'm going to bed very very soon after this and barely had the energy to finish this wall of text.

RL: SMASH THAT OGRE'S FACE

Using Fruit Crusher Fraymotif. Poor, poor bastard.

[5,7]+12=24.

RL: Pull out your new halberd and smoosh that imp.

[9,10]+12-1=30.

And of course Valve's crafting and item servers aren't capable of handling the load.

Well, I did manage to get one shot in at crafting the new Pyro melee weapon. I got a Maul instead.

Oh the irony, it burns.