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Messages - Samuel

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196
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your fort?
« on: March 06, 2011, 05:57:28 pm »
I abandoned the other fort. screw it. I found a better place: shallow metal, deep metal, flux stone, an aquifer unfortunately, but I'll punch through it somehow. And the number one attraction: NO GOBLINS.

I'll find a way to defend myself against them eventually. But not today. Gullypage is a place to be free of the vile forces of darkness.

197
DF Gameplay Questions / Re: Unable to appoint Nobles.
« on: March 06, 2011, 04:29:33 pm »
Quote from: Uristocrat on March 06, 2011, 03:30:29 pm
Quote from: Samuel on March 06, 2011, 01:50:10 pm
Quote from: rephikul on March 05, 2011, 09:45:58 pm
save then load, it should notice and appoint a new leader for you.

That didn't work. My migrants are slowly dying of dehydration because there's a troll sitting at the entrance to the fortress, cutting them off from the booze. Maybe if I designate all the booze to be dumped, they'll be willing to drink water. It'll only be a temporary solution though.

Trolls aren't that strong.  Draft all the migrants and attack it!

The point of this thread is that I couldn't draft anybody at all.

No matter now. Everybody's dead.

198
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your fort?
« on: March 06, 2011, 04:28:21 pm »
Quote from: EveryZig on March 06, 2011, 04:17:32 pm
Quote from: FGK dwarf on March 06, 2011, 03:04:43 pm
Quote from: Samuel on March 06, 2011, 02:23:33 pm
I have discovered the ultimate fortress defense: a small ditch.

A ditch around the entire border, with only one point of passage onto the map. This point will be markedly easier to cover with traps. I won't have to worry about an entire seige striking just as I send all the idlers out to collect wood, because the goblins won't be able to reach them. Nothing will get into the fortress that I don't know about, save for the kobolds, for whom I will leave out all the cave spider silk socks they could ever dream of.

Talk about Boring But Practical.

This will be great until the crossbow squads turn up...
And the giant cave swallow riding goblins. Maybe even crossbow goblins riding giant cave swallows!

Goblins can ride into battle on giant cave swallows? I never knew that!

... it'll take a few years for them to arrive. I'll build a massive dome over the entire map.

199
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your fort?
« on: March 06, 2011, 02:23:33 pm »
I have discovered the ultimate fortress defense: a small ditch.

A ditch around the entire border, with only one point of passage onto the map. This point will be markedly easier to cover with traps. I won't have to worry about an entire seige striking just as I send all the idlers out to collect wood, because the goblins won't be able to reach them. Nothing will get into the fortress that I don't know about, save for the kobolds, for whom I will leave out all the cave spider silk socks they could ever dream of.

Talk about Boring But Practical.

200
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Face Palm moments you had
« on: March 06, 2011, 02:01:28 pm »
The first thing the goblins did when they arrived on the map was attack... each other.

Seriously. Just arrived an started killing each other.

Perhaps they felt ripped off that my fort would clearly not offer even the tiniest bit of a fight.

201
DF Gameplay Questions / Re: Unable to appoint Nobles.
« on: March 06, 2011, 01:50:10 pm »
Quote from: rephikul on March 05, 2011, 09:45:58 pm
save then load, it should notice and appoint a new leader for you.

That didn't work. My migrants are slowly dying of dehydration because there's a troll sitting at the entrance to the fortress, cutting them off from the booze. Maybe if I designate all the booze to be dumped, they'll be willing to drink water. It'll only be a temporary solution though.

202
DF Gameplay Questions / Re: Unable to appoint Nobles.
« on: March 05, 2011, 04:56:11 pm »
Quote from: Cotes on March 05, 2011, 04:51:38 pm
Are you sure about squads? If you assign dwarves to military without there being a commander/captains, the ones first assigned to squads get the positions automatically.

And if that doesn't work, what exactly does happen when you try it?

When I try to appoint a militia commander, instead of a list of dwarves, I only get a message saying "You Need somebody who can appoint this position. When I try to fill the squad without a commander, I see the list, but I can't add anybody without a commander.

203
DF Gameplay Questions / Unable to appoint Nobles.
« on: March 05, 2011, 04:49:03 pm »
Apparently, once all your nobles are killed, it's somehow impossible to reappoint new ones. This also makes it impossible to create new squads. Is there any way to fix this?

204
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Happy forts are all alike; every unhappy fort is unhappy in its own way.
« on: March 05, 2011, 01:00:17 am »
Quote from: Silent_Thunder on March 03, 2011, 07:40:14 pm
My happy forts are because I systematically inflict psychological horrors on every immigrant untill they get the "Doesn't really care about anything" descriptor, only then are they granted access to the fortress proper.

That's pretty disturbing, can I get a tutorial?

205
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Face Palm moments you had
« on: March 05, 2011, 12:31:02 am »
I've got a dwarf who's spent the last few days trying to pick up a crossbow. He's clearly in denial about not having arms anymore.

206
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Face Palm moments you had
« on: March 05, 2011, 12:15:05 am »
You know the tantrum spiral is beyond stopping when the captain of the guard himself goes berserk...

207
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« on: March 04, 2011, 11:54:00 pm »
Dear Marksdwarfs,

I don't know how awesome you think you are, but I can personally assure you, it's an exaggeration on your part. If you fire a bolt at a goblin in the area of 50 tiles away, you are going to fucking miss. Your amazing failure to realize this has resulted in the deaths of several of your comrades, including civilians who were counting on you.

Signed,
An angered overseer


Dear Civilians,
There comes a time in a dwarf's life, such as when goblins are attacking, when he must make a split second decision to run to the left or right. At times, a purely arbitrary decision is understandable. At other times, such as when there is a feild of weapon traps to the right that can reduce entire seiges to mulch, it is not.

I'd normally dismiss your terminal stupidity as a self-correcting problem, but you also managed to lure the aforementioned goblins away from the aforementioned traps. This is an unacceptable mistake. Has the decadent lifestyle which is affordable here at Spotgloves been taxing on your brains as well as your livers? Because I can easily wall of the stockpile and immediately cease booze production.

Signed,
An even angrier overseer,

PS Freaking see if I'm kidding. 

208
DF Gameplay Questions / Re: The DF2010 Little Questions Thread
« on: March 04, 2011, 11:05:27 pm »
Is there any reason for a dog to just start going nuts on people?

Seriously, there's a named dog, with a living owner, just attacking people and animals at random in the meeting hall. He hasn't killed anyone yet, but I can't slaughter him or order him attacked.

Aside from injuries he's earned himself from attacking a tamed cougar, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with him. It's weird.

209
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your fort?
« on: March 04, 2011, 01:10:48 pm »
My fortress draws it's defense system from that paragon of historical accuracy, 300. A series of floodgates (I'll be able to hide them once its finished, for ease of movement when not under attack) funnels the stinking goblin scum into a corridor of weapon traps. A twisted, blood-soaked hell of whirling blades, thrusting spears, and spinning corkscrews. Since it's construction, the only evidence I've found of goblin thieves has been bloody corpses.

Next, I'm going to build a pasture over the traps, storing all my carnivourous animals. Goblins will have to fight their way through every sort of hideous, automated, blood-clogged weapon, while fighting off cheetahs, jaguars, and crocodiles.

This is going to be made of badass.


EDIT: The Results Are In!



210
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Confessions of a DF player.
« on: March 04, 2011, 12:53:21 am »
Quote from: Duntada Man on March 04, 2011, 12:16:30 am
I just killed 5000 snake men who were allied with my dwarves, because they all moved in under my fortress and were messing with my framerate.

I editted the raws to remove all their hearts and raised their body temperature 50 degrees above their scaly skin's combustion point while chanting "Kali-ma!"

Sadly, I forgot to edit the raws so they don't leave corpses.

That is... the most metal way to kill something I've ever heard.

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