Bay 12 Games Forum

When today, a fortress centered on a large cavern-based statue garden and dining room, was overrun by a salamander made of filth emitting a lung-rotting gas.

 The civilian survivors locked themselves away with floors and a forbidden artifact door even the creature could not breach.

However just when I am almost done with resolving the tantrum spiral, a single dwarf "withdraws from society", runs through the forbidden door, which gets jammed open by a bucket--(other dwarf looking for water pathed to the cavern well, and freaked out on seeing the filth monster, dropping said bucket)--"withdrawn artiste" comes back from the junk pile with a shell and makes an elaborate statuette, comes out of his aesthetic trance ecstatic to a hall full of blood and forgotten beast extract.

"Hey guys! check out what I... just... made... guys? Oh come on, guys, I don't care if you're not interested in my shell statue, you don't have to play dead to get out of looking at it! ...guys?"

Okay, so this one kind of doesn't count because it's the most valuable object in my fortress (I have multiple quantum artifacts, but this isn't one). But seriously, why did he have to use raw adamantine for a bracelet? Why not something at least the slightest bit useful? a helmet? a gauntlet, even? To make matters worse, the bracelet itself wasn't adamantine, it was magnetite. The adamantine was used for an image of a toad.

An average day is going by at the fort, nothing out of the ordinary. Dwarf Traders were there, and I had purchased everything of value from them via serrated iron discs. My mayor was taking time to talk with the liason in between his daily tasks, when suddenly...

An ambush! Curse them!

I, of course, was not prepared to fight an ambush of any size, and my dwarves were scattered all over the map, sitting ducks for the vile goblins. I quickly ordered them all into the fortress using a burrow, and we huddled inside, as the Trader's guards fought the goblins as best they could, and here's what changed the entire situation from dramatic to hilarious:

The liason was still trying to settle export agreements!

He either had no clue what was going on or he took his job far more seriously then my dwarves take theirs. So I clicked "a" as many times as it took for him to shut up and he bode farewell and then just walked out past the chaotic battle.

I haven't seen him since, but I can only assume he's out there somewhere, comparing notes on inventory with a bookkeeper who's legs are being chewed off by a Forgotten Beast.

I'm processing adamantine for the very first time. I've finally learned what strand extraction is for. So I get a bunch of raw adamantine to my quantum stockpile, give my glassmaker the strand extraction task because my mayor, whom requested a crystal glass window in an entirely subterranian dining room can go screw himself, and watched as it all started happening...

Theeeeeeen my broker gets a fey mood.

Okay, he wasn't always a broker, I'm sure he has other skills that-

Yup, he claimed the Craftsdwarf's shop.

Why couldn't it happen to a more expendable dwarf? Why not one of the idiot migrants who've only ever accomplioshed anything as haulers? somebody I can punish for their brazen stupidity without having to appoint a new broker? Somebody I could introduce to my new, named Euthinasia Spider?

Update: Aaaaaaaaand he's using my raw adamantine. Okay, that's strike two. If I get a freaking earring out of this, I'm just appointing a new broker, and Savotzakgol will be eating well tonight.

Update #2: A bracelet. His ass is grass.

I just avoided a major facepalm by a hair's breadth.

Following my little act of Euthanasia, Giant Cave Spider style, I had to get the thing out of there without it causing harm to any of my healthy, non-paralyzed dwarves. Obviously the answer was constructing cage traps before removing the wall trapping it.

Tearing down the wall was most likely mere seconds from completion when I realized the traps weren't loaded with cages yet. I managed to remove the designation just in time, which is good, because that Spider has been trapped in a 3x3 room constantly filling up with Miasma, and he is probably pretty pissed at generally everybody at the moment.

Quote from: schussel on November 10, 2010, 06:31:28 pm

Quote from: Skald on November 10, 2010, 05:43:48 pm

Quote from: Samuel on November 10, 2010, 05:32:13 pm

Quote from: Hinasas on November 10, 2010, 04:01:28 pm

realizing that the dwarves would automatically claim bedrooms and that i didn't have to manually assign each dwarf their own room...

/facepalm

Wait, what?

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU...

Yeah, I found that out just recently too.

Nothing like finding out that 400 or so bedrooms didn't need me to manually assign them.
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Personal Face palm Moment: Repeatedly drowning my miners while digging out wells and cisterns. I'm talking losing about 20 or so legendary miners, just because I didn't want to channel.

well .. a own bedroom is a positive thought while having none makes em not very happy ... and more often sleep on the ground

No, it's not like that, they'll sleep in the bedroom and claim it themselves. All you need to do is designate it as a bedroom and they'll take ownership on their own.

I always assigned them rooms manually the very moment the bed was constructed because overpopulation is such a constant problem. I'm just trying to get some work shops built and these migrants are coming faster than I can get their little bedrooms closets 1-tile cubby holes dug out and...

FFFFUUUUUUUUU

As an update to the above:

The humans eventually got bored, packed their shit up, and went home. I have learned an important lesson about Human Traders, and that lesson is: Do not fuck with Human Traders. A couple squad members managed to pick themselves up and kill the Elk Bird, which was then taken to the refuse stockpile before (I believe) being butchered. My chief medical dwarf, who was actually a peasant who was just a decent diagnostitian, making him the best doctor in the fortress, is amazingly stitching my squad back together. A few of them are even training again, even one who lost her right hand. And the poor, paralyzed dwarf, who I've been trying for some time to euthanise? I used the same cage/lever combo as with the Elk Bird to expose her to something I knew would work: A Giant Cave Spider. It poisoned her, bit her all over her body, and, in a horrifyingly awesome coup de grace, bit her head off. It can spend the rest of it's life stuck in that little miasma filled chamber for all I care.