Bay 12 Games Forum

A copy-paste about a human in adventure mode, but quite fitting to this thread:

Quote

I tore out a mans skull. Strangely, he survived. I went on my merry way, certain he wouldn't survive LOSING HIS SKULL.

He did. I found him some time later, with a "Massive round scar" on his head. And no skull.

NO SKULL.

Should have beat him to death with his own skull.

Not watering McBedridden is a service to the fortress.

He was bedridden due to having his torso torn open by a Troll that he helped save the fortress from.

Dear Idiots,

The water source is right. there. It's right down the hallway. You can't not see it.

Signed,
Your Overseer

Dear Urist McBedridden,

Ya, they're never gonna get that water for you. For what it's worth, I've made you a very nice gold sarcophagus.

Signed,
Your Overseer

You could trap it in a room using a constructed wall (you may need to leave a migrant in there to distract it while you build the wall. Then, through a bit of channel digging, collapse a section of floor directly above the room onto the FB.

Dear Ushrir Asobdalzat,

I admire your resolve to do your job no matter what. I can also understand your refusal to admit you're injured, especially when said injury was caused by your own stupidity. But if you keep running away from the hospital to keep mining with both your legs still broken, I'm going to have to disable your mining duties for your own safety. It's also pretty rude to just walk away from the doctor who's dutifully in the middle of setting your bone.

Signed,
Your concerned and disturbed Overseer

To: Dr. Vucar

The other dwarves have got the stone hauling handled. Your patient however, is currently lying in the dirt with a busted-up leg. Please try and sort out your priorities before you end up as the defendant in Dwarf Fortress's first ever medical malpractise suit.

Signed,
The voice of reason to which every one of you stupid bastards is deaf.

Dear Dwarves,

Holy mother of Armok, guys. I know you were hungry, but couldn't you have waited till the Donkey was cooked? rather than swarming the butcher's shop and devouring it's corpse like a school of piranha? Thanks for the nightmares.

-Your Ruler


Dear Urist McEngraver,
As I've discussed before on the forum, I quite enjoy your little pictures of that Marsh Titan, and welcome any new artwork of his battles. However, try to remember that, through my eyes, these engravings appear as the letter 'K'. Point being, would you stop putting three of them in a row all over the place?

-Your Ruler

PS if you'd brought your buddy the High Master Miner some food while he lay in the hospital with a broken leg, you wouldn't have to engrave all those images of him wasting away.

So I began building, mining, etc. in a vast underground cavern, which, unbeknownst to me, had a small serpent-man population. Once I noticed the attacks against my dwarves, I mobilized my squads, and the serpent-men were massacred. My dwarves were not without injuries, however, and they stumbled back to the hospital, returning to their brethren as heroes.

Not long after, a dwarf named Asmel Tosedrigoth started throwing a tantrum (which is odd because I'm not sure if he was even part of the squads). I did his best to find him before he hurt anybody, and I did. I got to watch him attacking a dwarf woman with a pick axe. A woman who was bringing water to the aforementioned bed-ridden war heroes. He hacked her up a bit, ripped her guts out, and then just left her there for dead.

I began devising elaborate ways to make Asmel suffer, but he went berserk first. The few of my soldiers who are able to report for duty will give him a better death then he deserves.


So, anybody else got a horrible/disturbing/sad story to share?