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Messages - TheJackal

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31
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Switch to x-bow?
« on: January 14, 2011, 01:29:18 am »
Just split the difference and add in a modded weapon that is dwarf only. Start with the crossbow entry, but modify its secondary attack to use the Axe skill, and give it an edge attack! To simulate bad-arse axes that shoot bolts. I can't help but imagine some kind of Frankenstein-style contraption involving steel, springs, and BLOOD of course.

Maybe I'm a cheating wanker, but to my discredit, I can't get my commander to use his. He just joint locks goblins to death. Its actually kind of amusing how all the other dorfs are pulling some A-Team shooting while every combat report for the commander looks like this:

Urist McCommander has taken hold of Goblin McArcher's third vertebrate with his upper wrist!
Urist McCommander initiates a joint lock, shattering the third vertebrate's bone and tearing the nervous tissue!
Goblin McArcher has lost hold of his iron bow!
Urist McCommander has gained a title: Totally Substantial Serpent!
 

32
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your fort?
« on: January 13, 2011, 10:28:49 am »
Urist McManager: I want status reports on all projects!

Urist McMason: Sir, the caldera is walled off, upper fortress sealed and secure! Floors are being erected over the magma surface to provide more workspace!

Urist McManager: What about the caverns?

Urist McMason: Sealed off with five-thick walls of stone, brass, and blood sir.

Urist McManager: Very good. Armorer Union?

Urist McShopforeman: All dorfs have been assigned Armorsmithing, and a 'Dabblers Only' magma forge erected. They're making crap helms until every dorf is a dabbling Armorsmith.

Urist McManager: By Armok, the next fey mood had best claim a dorf with Armoring! We need Masterwork armor to match the razor steel of Urist McMasterWeaponsmith!

Urist McMessenger: Sir, sir! An artifact has been completed! Edannesteth Ritas Alath! A horse bone crossbow! With no decorations or any features besides being an artifact.

Urist McManager: ...........at least its better than a figurine. Give it to the marksdwarf squad. Mechanists! How goes Magma Trap 2: Electric Boogaloo?

Urist McManager: I wish you would call it by its real name sir. Holy Tears of Armok's Fury has been completed, and is filling its cisterns now. Slow going, but the delivery flaws of Armok's Acid Reflux should not repeat.

Urist McManager: All that is left is to ask the Animal Handlers how the army of mandrills is going and then...

A SIEGE HAS ARRIVED

Urist McManager: A....human siege?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK RIPPLES~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe O'Humandiplomat: Yup, this is a nice place, but I had better get going before I die of alcohol poisoning.

Urist McBaron: Yeah.......about that. You see, there is a massed force of goblins and trolls outside, so we had to seal the fortress. Yeah....so I'm gonna need you to stay around for a while. Great.

Joe O'Humandiplomat: No! I'm claustrophobic! You smell! THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN AROUND ME! MY BLOOD IS MADE OF SPIDERS!

Urist McMother: Here, tall person about to go berserk. Let the sight of my infant child sooth you! Listen to his adorable burbles! Tug his tiny flaxen beard!

Joe O'Humandiplomat: FALCON PAWNCH!!!!

Warhorse....McWarhorse?: Neigh.


~~~END FLASHBACK~~~


Urist McManager: Okay, that might explain it.

33
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: So i just embarked with 6 females... and 1 lucky male dwarf :D
« on: January 08, 2011, 12:27:58 pm »
Quote from: Smackinjuice on January 07, 2011, 03:57:38 am
I'm still in the embark screen, what should i name my 1 lucky guy?  I'm going to make this play through one of those last remaining dwarfs on the planet, and they will have to repopulate all by themselves;  if anything looking like dwarfs come they are infected and must be destroyed in a new way everytime :D

So names please :D

btw my fortress name will involve balls... but how to word it?

He's only lucky if he's heteronormative, which you assume. Bigot.
Maybe he's just a fabulous dorf, hmm? But go on, insult him by assuming he's into bearded bosoms and tiny dwarf highheels and chainmail stockings. When he splits your skull with his Gucci battleaxe(while looking fabulous in those Prada high boots) maybe you'll have time to repent.

Maybe.



P.S. When will Toady simulate more complex relationships? Surely you fellows want hot lesbo dorf action.

34
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your fort?
« on: January 06, 2011, 10:51:22 am »
Quote from: LealNightrunner on January 05, 2011, 04:47:12 pm
Quote from: TheJackal on January 05, 2011, 04:43:12 pm
Trifle pewter [serrated disc], and I installed it in my Baron's room. Keeps him happy!

Is that how your baron trims his beard in the morning?

Yes. Then he orders the construction of Brass items, which he loves. Coincidentally, I'm up to my ears in brass. Or he orders cabinets, he loves those.

35
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your fort?
« on: January 05, 2011, 04:43:12 pm »
Quote from: Eugenitor on January 05, 2011, 04:21:05 am
USE IT! Show us how well pewter (what kind, btw?) works against gobbos and wildlife.

Trifle pewter, and I installed it in my Baron's room. Keeps him happy!

36
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your fort?
« on: January 05, 2011, 03:29:22 am »
Urist McMason: M'lord, the magma forge has been completed in the caldera.

Urist McManager: Excellent! Now to make pewter crafts in trade! You, Dorf, send for the crafters!

Urist McRandom: Yes sir, I'll send for th.....OMG GLITTER AND HAIR PRODUCT AND PEREZ HILTON!

Urist McRandom is possessed by an aspect of the fey!

Urist McRandom has claimed a MAGMA FORGE

It turns out that this random migrant from my first wave was a dabbling Weaponsmith. He made a giant pewter serrated disc. Worth very little, but build-able and more importantly BECAME LEGENDARY!

Nothing like a legendary weaponsmith before your first Autumn!

37
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What's your siege strategy?
« on: January 01, 2011, 06:50:50 pm »
Step 1: Save for scumming!
Step 2: Activate the alert! ALL CIVILIANS TO THE BURROW! (My legendaries are assigned to the burrow - they never leave the safety of the fort!)
Step 3: Wait for the goblins to enter the entry hallway. A nice, long 6-block wide corridor that has drawbridges at each end. Huh.
Step 4: PULL THE LEVER! (Which seals them in the corridor!
Step 5: Pull the OTHER LEVER!
Step 6: Watch the magma wash over them slowly, then drain slow, because its not a very good magma trap.
Step 7: Incorporate goblin weapons into backup weapon traps.


38
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: this noobs fortress, my pictures and questions
« on: December 23, 2010, 08:50:09 am »
Heh - you'll also want to assign a new noble. A Broker.

http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010:Trade

Quote from: The Wiki
If the broker has the Appraisal skill, they will allow you to see the count of your fortresses Wealth in the Status screen (z). The exactness with which this can seen is determined by the duties of the Bookkeeper.

At the Depot, you can specify that only the broker may Trade with visiting caravans. The advantage of this is that the broker gains skill in appraisal as he trades, which both allows the display of fortress wealth and helps with getting the best deals in your trading efforts.

As a note, elves won't accept a wooden item, or things with a wooden component like some kinds of glass. If you have a bunch of wooden bins full of things, you can certainly take them down to the depot. You'll just need to trade the items *out* of the bin separately. A caravan just arrived, so I'll provide a screenshot to help you in a few minutes.

39
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your fort?
« on: December 22, 2010, 05:15:28 pm »
My armorer (the only one left after the ambush) just went into a strange mood. He better take a forge and he had better grab some steel. I'm saving and forbidding all metals but steel, in fact.

40
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: What's going on in your fort?
« on: December 22, 2010, 05:10:16 pm »
Well a wave of immigrants decided to arrive in the middle of a double ambush!
All but two were slaughtered.

I'd feel worse about it, but I was at 100 dwarfs anyway, and plus there weren't many good skills in the bunch.

41
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: this noobs fortress, my pictures and questions
« on: December 22, 2010, 04:26:53 pm »
Oh man, thats not good. The cut gems are easy enough - if you have found any gems yet! The cloth is harder, much harder to get. I would advise buying it from a caravan. You don't need the whole bin if you can't afford it, but I always keep plenty of cloth on hand as a hedge against weird moods.

42
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Face Palm moments you had
« on: December 22, 2010, 02:41:09 pm »
Quote from: TolyK on December 22, 2010, 10:59:30 am
sweet
do you distribute copies? XD

The point of having my own is mostly security based. How do I know you're not a CIA plant, hmmmm?
Or worse yet, an ELF?!?!?!?!

....I mean, sure you can have a copy. Just stand right there. Right under that grate. Don't mind the heated floors and walls. Lemme step out, then just pull that lever there for your copy!

43
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: this noobs fortress, my pictures and questions
« on: December 22, 2010, 02:31:26 pm »
Quote from: CapnUrist on December 22, 2010, 01:35:06 pm
What's the fey dwarf's highest skill? Usually that's the workshop type he'll want. If it's not the highest, then the highest with a specific workshop type. Otherwise, it's either a mason or craftsdwarf workshop.

Important note! If you don't have the Workshop your Fey Dwarf needs, you'll have to build it. How would you know which kind of shop?
Look at the Fey Dwarf's Skills. He'll need a shop matching his skills, naturally.
Lets say you have a Mason shop and a Craftsdwarf workshop, great! However, he's not claiming them. So look at his skills; Uh-oh, the Fey Dwarf has Clothes-Making as a skill, and you've no Clothesmaker Workshop!

Queuing one to build then is your priority, but remember. Moody dwarfs will not build a workshop, so you need to enable the labor on another dwarf. So for our example, Urist McMoody needs a Clothesmaker Workshop, but because he's moody he won't build it. Instead we take Urist McNotdoinganything and enable Clothesmaking on him - he builds the workshop, and then we disable Clothesmaking. Urist McMoody claims the shop, yada yada.

Insert whatever skill or labor is needed.

44
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: this noobs fortress, my pictures and questions
« on: December 22, 2010, 10:45:05 am »
In temperate zones the freezing and unfreezing can be pretty random sometimes! Just try what I posted -A and B are pretty easy to do!

45
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Face Palm moments you had
« on: December 22, 2010, 10:18:29 am »
I forgot to include an elf reference in one of my last posts, so it ended up sounding serious and mean. Instead of light-hearted and funny, I came across as a big fat jerk.




P.S I also forgot to mention that I run my own self-written OS, Lycopolis.

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